Evil Aliens: Journey of the BCNS Suppository Splinters
Copyright© 2025 by MA7
Chapter 4
Science Fiction Sex Story: Chapter 4 - A story where hard physics K3 god tech meets morally bankrupt idiots who wield said technology. Every scientific detail is triple checked for accuracy, hard science meets dick jokes and juvenile insanity.
Caution: This Science Fiction Sex Story contains strong sexual content, including Ma/Fa Consensual Humor Science Fiction
BCNS SUPPOSITORY SPLINTERS FLIGHT 696969 THETAS INTERGALACTIC BARQUENTINE ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE SYSTEMS REFRESH.
Date - unknown - clock not updated for daylight savings - checking interstellar cosmic microwave background radiation red shift - calculating - approximately 17.5 billion standard years since big bang - probably Sunday - possibly Wednesday - running further temporal location calculations - 09:34 - probably - conferring with flagship clocks - flagship clocks also forgot to update for daylight savings.
Location - laser highway 5318008 - past laser pushing station FL35RU0YKCUF0G - coming up on laser pushing station M0MRU0YKCUF5G0D - requesting time keeping information from laser pushing station M0MRU0YKCUF5G0D - signal light lag delay - reply signal received - time is 69:69:69 69th of Sixtynineuary year 6969696969 in the Sixtynineorian Calendar - syntax error - piss taking probability 100.00 percent - looking up legal statutes - The deliberate misleading of military asset time keeping is a capital grade offence punishable by death by means of “putting a furious eurypterid in your underpants” - reporting incident to flagship - flagship reply - “I don’t want to deal with the paperwork, unlog incident” - incident unlogged.
Running systems diagnostics - power systems - solar sail distributed photovoltaic cells providing 8.9 gigawatts continuous power - output nominal - onboard generation diagnostics - base load nuclear fission power (uranium-233) - 3 units Vilis Et Mali model 150 megawatt systems - note incident - Vilis Et Mali reactor number 3 leaking radioactive material into primary crew water supply tanks - emergency rerouting filtered grey water to crew drinking water for safety as primary tankage undergoes emergency nuclear decontamination procedures - crew complaints about water quality increased by 558 percent.
Running systems diagnostics on unused power generation systems - 6 units Hive Fung Heavy Industries starburst pattern proton-boron-11 fusion reactors - rated for 1500 megawatts of generation per unit - status inactive on standby mode - maintenance state nominal - 18 units Hive Tang Heavy Manufacturing supernova pattern deuterium-deuterium/deuterium-tritium fusion reactors - rated for 8000 megawatts of generation per unit - status inactive on standby mode - additional note the cooling system hates these units - maintenance state “eh, she’ll be right”.
Life forms onboard - 86 authorised crew - 1 unauthorised crew - 1 tihs model post-biological combat unit - approximately 8000 rats.
Life support systems - atmospheric gas modifiers - functioning nominally - temperature systems - functioning nominally - water systems - see reactor leak above - air quality - wet and smelly - nominally breathable - food supply nanotechnology systems - providing 200 kilograms of food daily - 100 for the crew and 100 for the rats - food quality - fewer complaints than usual.
Weapons/propulsion systems - primary system - 8100 Dyson-Killer pattern hyper-relativistic particle cannons (proton to 2mg projectile rated - higher mass projectile possible but voids warranty - note warranty already voided) - capable of sustained or pulsed hyper-relativistic firing generating multiple G forces of ship acceleration/gunfire as desired - weapon doubles as propulsion system - 0-2 G standard - 3-30 G crew complains - 31-50 G crew “strongly” complains/cease complaining ever again - 51-75 G crew complaining drops off exponentially (depending upon crew species) - 75-150 G no crew complaints - also no crew.
Weapons/propulsion secondary systems - 9 Hive Tang Heavy Manufacturing type 1107 cyclone pattern plasma lance drives - 0.00001 G sustained collective ship acceleration as desired (classified by manufacturer as “high acceleration”) - doubles as close range radiation cannon - manufacturing warranty “strongly” recommends that this system be used “only as a propulsion system not a weapon” but the admiralty says “we can wing it a bit”.
Propulsion system the admiralty haven’t figured out how to use as a weapon system yet - Hive Lao and Brood Engineering Systems flare pattern standard ship-wide low-power manoeuvring thruster system - less than 1 G acceleration possible - admiralty hopeful of future weaponisation.
Propulsion systems the admiralty has figured out how to weaponise but they really shouldn’t have - Hive Lao and Brood Engineering Systems kite pattern solar sails - laser reflective graphene sail propulsion - capable of providing virtually any acceleration that doesn’t melt/tear/destroy the sails and/or the ship - can be detached on a laser highway to fly ahead as a hyper-relativistic kill missile - manufacture notes “please don’t”.
To read the complete story you need to be logged in:
Log In or
Register for a Free account
(Why register?)
* Allows you 3 stories to read in 24 hours.