Chapter 8: Prescription Brings Perspective

[Author’s Note: A portion of this chapter includes sexual discussions between family members, and limited physical contact.]

The four of us were enjoying lemonades at Dot’s kitchen table. Unlike when I first walked here, I felt able to take a risk—to bring up difficult questions.

“Emma, please tell me, what happened at home after I walked away?” Emma didn’t answer me. She dropped her eyes, then turned to Dot.

“I don’t think I should. Auntie, it’s, it’s all upsetting.”

“Don’t talk to me, Emma, talk to your brother.”

“Mike, I don’t want you to struggle or slip backward because of what I tell you. I’ve been so worried about you. The last time we spoke, before today, I screamed at you.” Em sniffled. “I’ve been blaming myself...”

Em stopped and hung her head. Paul jumped up and put his arm around her. He was awkward because she was sitting and he was standing.

Dot said, kindly, “Let’s go to the living room and be more comfortable. You two sit on the couch together, and I’ll bring the lemonade out.”

Paul hugged Emma. “It’s OK, Em. Let’s go. I love you.”

We got settled down in the living room, and my sister seemed to have re-centered herself.

“Michael, it was bad. I went to call you for dinner, and found that you were gone. Dad started yelling, and when I couldn’t give him an explanation—and when he discovered your bag, coat, and boots were missing—he completely blew up. Mom was wailing, believing the worst had happened. Dad kept circling back to me, demanding I tell him where you were hiding.”

Dot broke in. “When I called in the morning to tell my nephew that I had Mike, he practically melted my phone. That’s when you got on the line instead, Em.”

“I remember. After I hung up, I went to Mom and tried to console her. It took a long time before she stopped crying. But, Mike, something became clear to me then. Mom was relieved—she knew you were safe up here. It was Dad.”

She hesitated, then went on softly. “She kept glancing over at him, as if...”

“As if he was going to hurt us!” Em buried her face in Paul’s chest, and I could hear her sobbing. Paul tried to soothe her. Dot was astonished. The thing is, I believed Em, and I told Dot why.

“Now that I think back, Auntie, one of the reasons I considered it best if I left home was I was afraid of my father. Most of the time, he was the same old dad, but there were other times when something would tick him off, and he would completely lose his shit. He’s even hit me a few times. This is the first time, though, I believe my sister or my mother were at risk from him.”

Dot asked, “Michael, did you say, at risk?”

“I’m sorry, yes.”

Then, I heard Em’s voice, partly muffled by her boyfriend’s shirt. “Y-yes; risk.”

“Shit! Shit!” Dot rose from her chair and started pacing and ranting. Among other things, she invoked the names of her deceased brother and sister-in-law (my father’s parents) and what they would be doing to my father for his ass-holiness (her term). I suddenly remembered all three of them served in the US Army. Dot served in an Okinawa hospital nursing injured soldiers airlifted from Vietnam.