Chapter 2: A New Paradigm

Madison’s words hung in the air for a moment. Janelle’s expression soured. Madison’s eyes searched mine for validation.

I’d like to say Madison’s proclamation of her feelings for me caused a tidal wave of emotion in me, but that would be a lie. Suddenly so many things made sense. It was exciting news.

There was one problem. “I’m flattered. I’m interested in you too. Guess I have been for awhile if I’m being honest, but you have a boyfriend,” I said.

“Like that stopped me tonight,” Madison pointed out.

“Yeah, but you’re out of your mind tonight. You just said you like Drew,” Janelle noted with a bit of disdain. I surmised that Janelle had known about Madison’s interest in me for some time and was not a fan. It made me wonder if this little confession might have come a long time ago if Janelle had not disliked me so strongly.

“I did swear I would never tell him that.” Madison giggled, hand to her mouth. Although the last few minutes had sobered her up a lot, she was still quite drunk.

“What the heck? Why?” I asked, both confused and moderately offended.

“You just never responded to any of my signals so I thought you really just wanted to be friends,” Madison said. “I didn’t want to ruin our friendship with my feelings.”

“What signals?” I asked, feigning being dumbfounded. Now that Madison admitted her feelings to me there had been innumerable signals, I had just mulishly chosen to interpret them as signs of friendship.

“Are you joking me? All the dates we’ve been on, all the late nights in Spain, all the nights we’ve been having recently, all the cute clothes I wear when I know you are going to be around,” Madison sputtered.

“You said those were friend dates, Madison. And. You. Have. A. Boyfriend,” was my reply. I wish I could say my intentions here were purely altruistic. That I cared about the morals of not cheating. That was not the case. I was already thinking several steps ahead. I did not want Madison to regret how things began between us. I also felt that by not embracing her cheating I might better position myself as ‘boyfriend material’ instead of just being someone she hooked up with. I thought I was playing the long game.