Chapter 1: Mother in-law and the purse-snatcher

“Jim!” came the cheery loud cry as I opened the door to see my mother in-law standing on the door-step. “How’re you keeping son?” Paula sounded genuinely happy to see me and entered the house. “Sue’s gone out I’m afraid WORRRRGH!” the air in my lungs was squeezed out in a rush as she wrapped her short thick arms around me to give me a hug that felt more like a crushing bear-hug. She might only be 5’1” tall but she’s built like a small tank. Even her massively wide and low hanging breasts failed to cushion me. It felt as I was hanging there on my toes in the over-enthusiastic hug of a short woman with a massive girth unable to draw breath and with my ribs about to break.

“Oofff!” after what had seemed an eternity in her crushing grip I was able to breathe again as she released me. “That’s OK dear. She’s not expecting me until the evening” she exclaimed. “I’m sure you can find ways to entertain me” she said with a naughty twinkle in her eye. That made me nervous. I did not fancy being stuck in the house alone with her. Don’t get me wrong. I do like my mother in-law but I just couldn’t trust myself to be alone with her. No, it’s not because I fancy her, on the contrary, when I first met her she wasn’t the type of older woman that I could ever fancy. With a large blockish face that could be called ‘mannish’ with a ruddy complexion, Paula has short curly dark brown hair (dyed), brown eyes, a large thick nose and a wide mouth. With jowls around her chin, her thick neck disappears into large sloping shoulders. She was also grossly overweight with a massive girth and a large protruding pot belly. On her Doctor’s advice she lost a lot of weight and started exercising to firm up the flab. Now she is a shadow of her former self but still short and heavy looking and hardly what you would call attractive.

“I really need to show my gratitude after you exposed that conman John Smith before I fell for his lies and married him” she told me while giving me an unsettling look as her chubby fingers unbuttoned the light jacket she wore to expose a truly massive wide low-hanging expanse of bust wobbling and heaving beneath the pale top she wore beneath. Dear God! To my discomfort my dick was stiffening as the plunging low neckline was so wide to proudly display huge mounds of bare female breast. Her reduction in size did not include her massive breasts that now seemed all the more gigantic. Since divorcing she has had a trail of boyfriends and those giant mega-breasts that she liked to show off with low necklines were probably a lot to do with it. Well those man-traps certainly had me getting an embarrassing hard-on in front of my mother in-law. The hungry way that she looked at me confirmed that this was precisely the effect she wanted. That made my discomfort all the worse. Short and bulky, she looked like the sort of cougar that could sexually devour a man, and I knew that she could [JIMP#13]. Could I trust myself to resist her advances and do so without upsetting her?

Fortunately it was Paula who defused the situation. “Actually can I be a pest? Would you be a dear and drive me to Milton Keynes? There’s a few bits I’d like to get from the shops there while I’m here” she said. “Sure” I replied, hoping not to sound too eager.

For anybody not familiar with Milton Keynes, it is a ‘new town’ designed in a grid system with straight-ish dual-lanes, loads of interconnecting roundabouts and an indoor shopping centre in the middle. Designed for cars, the irony is that the council hate motorists and have devised a fiendish zoned parking system with spiralling parking charges policed by over-zealous traffic wardens to catch the unwary. Having been caught out once and not wishing to repeat the experience, I parked for free somewhere a little more out of the way.

I’m not one for shopping and began to hang back a little behind the short wide bulk of my mother in-law. With her broad wide back and very wide backside, most men dismissed her as just another fat old cow. However if they had bothered to look below the hem of her skirt they would have their minds blown by the largest thickest widest calves they’d ever seen. Rising from her thick ankles elevated by quite low heels, the backs of her lower legs flared out quickly to thickly muscled calves almost spade-like in their width with a deep sharp lower edge. Viewed from the side they had an amazing depth that made them flare out dramatically from her short legs. Each outside edge curved dramatically in a beautifully curved semi-heart shape. While the inside featured dense sharp downward pointing arrow headed slabs of muscle. They bulged and flexed against the sheer black nylons she wore making them all the sexier. Being a leg-man it was a view that I was more than happy to enjoy.

The other benefit was that I could admire her amazing side profile with her low slung forward-thrusting bust whenever she stopped to look in a shop window. She would often look over her shoulder at me and ask “What do you think of this?” or “Isn’t this wonderful?” “Orrrrr yes” I would reply but not at what she was looking at.

Money spent and walking back to the car, my lagging behind was more due to lugging her big bags of shopping. We were not far from where I had parked, walking through a quiet residential area which consisted of long straight pavements with grass and trees on either side between rows of flats and houses. The only other person about was a tall lanky young man dressed in a hoodie who passed me with his head down. He was about to pass Paula when to my horror he made a dash for her large handbag. Instead of the bag slipping away from the short squat woman’s hand he was shocked to find a steely hard grip upon his wrist preventing his escape. His surprise turned to pain as the bulky little woman twisted his hand at the wrist forcing his arm to rise with his forearm swivelling painfully around beneath it. Bending his arm right back upon itself and around her thick forearm he was shocked to find himself leaning backwards in absolute agony while a stern faced woman glared at him. “Boy did you pick the wrong woman to mug” she growled. “Look at you. Held helpless in an embarrassingly painful position by a woman old enough to be your grandmother. What a loser!” She poured scorn smiling at his discomfort as he stamped his feet and yelped as the horror registered on his face that he was being owned by a short large-built mature woman.

Suddenly she turned around forcing the thug to turn behind her. As his arm straightened she whipped it over her broad shoulder pulling it right down in front of her. Leaning forward over her left leg which bent at the knee, the hoodie was catapulted clean over her head in a lightning-fast streak. Arcing vertically over her short body as she held onto his arm and wrist with a grip of steel the young man slammed violently on his back to the ground. WHUMP! “Arghhh!” he wailed. Jeez! That was mind-bogglingly fast. I’d never expected my heavy well-built mother in-law to throw a man as fast as that.