Chapter 5

I realized that in all my years at GazMyas, I’d never taken a proper vacation. Two or three weeks, just to rest, relax, and continue exploring the phenomenon of my gender fluidity. But definitely not with the exhausting Ivanych. Maybe with that Azer from the market?

My vacation plans and all that were never meant to happen. Ivanych disappeared. He just stopped coming to the office and answering calls. No one knew where he was or what had happened to him. I went on autopilot, doing my work while they looked for a replacement for him. He had always dumped all the work on me anyway, keeping only the “political” decisions for himself. Basically, nothing complicated. I’d long understood the main KPI of any top manager: transparency of all business operations. Don’t rat yourself out, and don’t let others do it. A company manager is only a manager as long as they maintain financial discipline in the eyes of the owners, so roughly eighty percent of their time goes into monitoring expenses.

Like a robot, I clicked the buttons in the electronic document flow for Ivanych: Approve. Reject. Send for revision. Redirect. Each decision usually came with a justification in numbers from the reports I prepared, of course. And what he called “policy” was basically a series of emotional decisions: “Last time that bastard rejected my draft contract, so now I’ll fuck his project!” I was far from politics; my decisions were neutral, reasoned, and justified, so I was in good standing. Kind of like, “a decent guy, even if a little gay, I guess.”

Two weeks later, they told me I officially had to become the “Acting Senior Vice President” (ASVP) – temporarily stepping into Ivanych’s shoes. I couldn’t believe my ears. The search for a new boss was dragging on, and for some bureaucratic reason, someone had to officially fill the role. First thing I did: ordered business cards. In English, because the English version of “temporarily executing duties” sounded way better than Russian “ВРИО”: ASVP – almost like a brand of expensive cognac.

Soon, I’d be someone insignificant again, with ass or anal somewhere in my title: assistant, analyst, or at best associate. But for now I was ASVP – why not show off a little? Not long ago I was a self-conscious broke student, and the only girl who wanted to date me turned out to be a prostitute. And now, everyone wanted to be friends with me – sales reps from all kinds of companies, escorts, and purebred ladies “from good families.” Even just being acquainted with the ASVP of GazMyas was a big deal for them.

They flooded my social media, asked to meet, invited me to all sorts of events, sent me crazy messages in Telegram and WhatsApp, full of emojis. I was untouchable. The only event I actually attended was a class reunion. To hand that business card to the girl who rejected me in college. To watch her expression change, reflecting the complex thoughts going through her head. To wait for a proposal to hang out sometime and politely show her exactly where she could go – priceless! Getting so much female attention felt nice, but there was only one downside: my dick barely stood. Rising to the top, even briefly, only satisfied my ego.

The secretary Ivanych left me as inheritance, Oksana, wasn’t lagging behind either. It was like she’d been replaced! Her previous scorn and barely concealed disgust were gone, replaced by servility and flirtation. I knew deep down she still hated me. Before, she hated me out of jealousy over the former boss – after all, I was kind of Ivanych’s personal assistant, his “right hand” (in every sense). And now – well, probably still hatred by inertia or envy. Back then I didn’t care, but now Oksana’s work significantly affected my success. Did she suspect that Ivanych had been fucking me? Quite possible ... Anyway, I behaved correctly and cautiously with Oksana, wanting to build normal professional relations.