Chapter 8

Mindy’s door was closed when I went upstairs, and I hoped she was studying. She had a tendency to procrastinate when faced with things she didn’t want to do.

I lay in bed, trying to go to sleep, but my mind was relentlessly circling the puzzle of this unconscious link I’d been experiencing with different people, mostly while we were having sex but I didn’t think that was a requirement.

Why was it, I asked myself, that I hadn’t felt this until recently? It had been some years since I’d learned to find people’s links while they were focused on me, and to walk it up into their epicenters. This was something different, I thought.

Why was it showing up now? Did it mean that, even this long after my exposure, my mind was continuing to evolve, to expose new abilities? What else might be waiting in the wings?

I didn’t have enough information to come to any conclusions, so I put it aside and let my unconscious mind puzzle over it. And as soon as I did that, another tenacious thought poked out from underneath the clutter.

Why was sex with Karen so extraordinary, so far beyond what I felt with other women? As I thought about it, cataloging the various women I’d made love to, I tried to pick out the ones who were clearly above and beyond the rest.

I thought Gail Conlon came close; we’d had an intense couple of months together last semester, which ended when she met a new guy who sent her head spinning and she broke up with me.

And Melissa Cooley was on the list. She’d been my first, but without actual intercourse because she hadn’t been on birth control and wanted to wait till she was. I had run into her completely by accident at a music showcase that ------ had hosted in the spring. One thing led to another and, well, she was worth waiting for.

But with few or none of them had I felt that astounding melding of spirits when we climaxed together. It was a true out-of-body experience, and just as profound each time it happened. We’d talked about it numerous times, both of us overwhelmed by the feeling, asking if it happened to others or just to us.

That was part of my fear, that if she found some other guy she liked better than me, I would lose that amazing sensation of our spirits soaring together through the universe. And as soon as I thought that, I felt my paranoia rising again. She would find someone better.

I forced that thought out of my head and made myself read my book until I was too tired, then turned off the light and slept.

I awoke a little groggy, like I’d been having a bad dream but I couldn’t recall what it was, if that’s what had made me groggy. It was almost nine, so I’d had plenty of sleep.

I forced myself out of bed and took a shower, which made me feel a bit better. Coffee and cereal in the kitchen improved things even more and now the day was looking more manageable.

Halfway through my second cup of coffee Mindy stumbled into the kitchen in her bathrobe. She took some juice from the fridge and poured herself a glass.

“Did Mom say when she’d be back?” she asked.

“I didn’t know she’d gone out.”

“She left a note. You didn’t see it? ‘Gone out for groceries, back later.’”

She nodded at a scrap of paper on the counter and she was right, I hadn’t seen it. To be fair, I hadn’t finished my coffee yet so it was understandable that I’d missed it.

“Just as well,” she said. She sat down at the table, holding her juice. “I don’t know if you’re crazy or the world’s smartest unknown genius.”

“Do I get a vote on this?”

“No. I told you I have finals coming up all next week, right? And you gave me that bullshit about Fonzie as a study aid?”

I nodded, wondering where this was going.

“That was so damn stupid, really like cuckoo crazy. I was a little annoyed with you for handing that to me when I was so worried about cramming for my tests, like I didn’t have enough to worry about already.

“And when I sat down at my desk, trying to get through my book -- I decided to work on the math first ‘cause that’s the hardest subject for me -- I kept getting wound up in all the details. I’d memorize something and one page later I’d mostly forgotten it, and I had to go back again.

“I got so angry that I threw a notebook, nearly broke my window. I had to get up and pace around to calm myself down. When I sat down again, I almost couldn’t face picking up where I left off, I was so angry at myself, at the school, at math.

“Anyway, I got so desperate that I finally decided to try that ridiculous incantation you told me you’d used. I felt like an idiot saying it out loud, really.”

She stopped here and took a long drink of her juice. She put the glass down and put both elbows on the table, her chin resting in her hands, looking right at me.

“And damned if it didn’t work. When I looked up again, it was almost midnight and I was nearly at the end of the textbook. I didn’t remember going through that, I felt like I’d fallen asleep or something, ‘cause I couldn’t recall working through it, and I started to panic.

“I told myself I’d have to start reading all over again, but when I went back, trying to find the place I’d left off, it all seemed, like, familiar, y’know? So I must have read it, but I couldn’t remember that I had. I was ready to start again, angry at myself for wasting so much time when I have so little of it before exams.

“But I looked at some of the practice questions at the end of each chapter -- you remember those, right? -- and it seemed that I knew how to approach each one, which formula to use, like that? Maybe you could quiz me later? Make sure I’m not deluding myself?”

I looked at her, trying not to show my excitement, keeping my face neutral.

“Okay, I can do that. So you think it really worked for you?”

She nodded vigorously.

“The Fonz is an overlooked sage, a quiet genius ignored by the general public. I’ve been thinking about starting a religion based around him. Each prayer would be answered by the congregation replying, ‘Ayyyy.’”

She laughed at that. “Okay, count me in. I’ve gotta take a shower. Later.”

I was still hungry. I found a lone bagel in the back of the fridge, a little stale, and some cream cheese that seemed to be still okay, so I toasted the halved bagel and ate it with cream cheese, and I felt better.

I was putting everything away, the dirty dishes in the sink, when I heard a knock at the back door. I looked up and found Jeff, my long-time friend, grinning through the screen.

“I was wondering when you’d show up, Jeff! You made it through the second semester okay?”

“Jury’s still out on that, but I think so. I didn’t get back till yesterday, but I needed about fifteen hours of sleep before I could face the world again.”

“Let’s sit out back since the weather’s nice. Tell me everything.”

We parked ourselves in a couple of lawn chairs and told each other all the memorable details of the last semester. Jeff is one of my best friends, we’ve known each other since we were about six, and spent most our time hanging out, us and a few others. We had a long history.

He’s bright, but doesn’t have much self-discipline, and his high school grades reflected that. Jeff wound up at the state university, and I was a bit concerned that he wouldn’t pay much attention to the academic side of college life, but he seemed to be working at it hard enough to stay enrolled.

A lot of his stories revolved around epic parties and trying to hook up with as many women as he could. I couldn’t really separate the truth from the embellished fiction. I expected the reality lay somewhere in the middle. Still, I was glad to see him, and happy that he seemed to be dealing okay with both the social and academic sides of college life.

“So what’s with you and Karen?” he asked. “Is she back yet?”

“Yeah, I’ve seen her a couple of times. She’ll be working at the mall this summer, her uncle’s bookstore. I’m working at the mall, too, by coincidence, so we can even have lunch together some days.”

I had to fill him in on the job, and his response was also, “Never heard of it.”

“How ‘bout you and Kate? Did she come home already?”

“No, Monday, I think. One of her parents was going to drive out and pick up her and her stuff. I haven’t really seen her since Christmas. We exchanged letters, but you know how that is, takes forever and it’s not the same as talking face to face.”

“Tell me about it.” I mentioned email to him and he said, “You mean like messaging, like on AOL?”

“Sorta, but more direct, so you don’t have to go through a service to read your messages. They just show up on your PC. They’re nearly instantaneous, almost like real-time messaging. It was a godsend, finding that, it helped reduce the separation between us. Look into it for next term. I’ll give you my email address later, too, so you have someone else to write to.”

We talked for another half hour, then made vague plans about a movie or something for later. He finally stretched and said he was going to check in with Frankie Binkowski, another of our common friends who’d been with Jeff at State. I told him to let Frankie know I’d be in touch soon.

Jeff wandered off and I sat there thinking about friendships. As close as we’d been, from elementary through high school, I was seeing places where we were growing differently. Not unexpected, it’s what happens as we mature.

This was what Karen had been alluding to when she told me she wanted me to experience things fully, even things that she might not approve of. It was one of the ways that we grew, emotionally and intellectually, and she wanted to know if we’d mature in the same way so that we’d still feel the same way about each other a few years from now.