Chapter 38

I did write to Karen. I told her about my dinner excursion and described Al’s extended family. And as usual, I also told her about classes, exams, and ideas I’d found interesting. The same stuff I usually shared with her, as she did with me. And as often as we did that with each other, it never sounded old or repetitive because there was always some new twist on an old topic.

After some thought, I also wrote to Stan telling him about my accidental encounter with a Stilling employee, and my invitation to get a tour of the research facility. Or at least the parts that were open to us. I wasn’t sure if this was at all useful to him, but probably better that he have the information than not. He hadn’t written me recently with any updates on things at his end, so I assumed that they were about the same. McGuire and Beckham really couldn’t have made much progress in so short a time.

April arrived and with it warmer spring days which caused most students to throw their study concerns to the milder breezes as they played on the green and flirted with others. I liked it as much as the rest of them but I still had this nagging voice inside me saying, “Finals aren’t that far off. Better get ready.”

I’d had this ever since high school. I don’t know where it came from, as it just seemed to appear one year early in high school, this solemn voice of doom intoning warnings about the upcoming trials, i.e. exams. I never had it in elementary or middle school. I always hated it when it arrived, since it was like a wet blanket thrown on all the fun things I wanted to do.

Granted, it was a hell of a lot easier now that I’d worked up this Brain Sponge trick, but the voice was still just as annoying, and I still had to listen to it even as I was making sure I was up to date on everything. But, I decided, it wasn’t entirely wrong, even if it was annoying.

I plugged away at all the things on my to-do list, while Larry periodically clucked his tongue and told me to lighten up. I, like Karen, had grudgingly agreed that I could be too focused so I forced myself to take breaks, even going to the occasional party. I didn’t always find a hookup there, even though I thought I could “convince” some likely woman that I might be an interesting diversion for a few hours.

I had found that sex for the sake of simply getting your rocks off left me feeling satisfied but empty. For me there had to be some kind of emotional or intellectual connection, too. I had to find the other person interesting with some intellectual depth. None of the other guys with whom I interacted seemed to be hampered by this constraint. They were happy to hook up with anybody who’d have them. They’d spend as little time as required to do the deed, then walk away feeling relaxed, mostly forgetting their names.

I reviewed my last few hookups. There was Mindy Tomlinson, of course -- smart, sexy, a sense of humor, and gorgeous. Even the two girls Denise and Sarah I’d met at that party had had some intellectual curiosity and emotional depth, though not enough to keep me interested in the long run. As I thought back through my encounters over the past year or so, I realized that nearly all of them were people who had intrigued me in some way, interested me by asking me engaging questions, making a quirky remark. Funny I’d never thought of that before.