Chapter 4: Best First Date

PRESENT DAY

When Annie and I finally stepped back out into the living room, the other couples were nowhere to be seen. I say “seen” because there was plenty going on that we could hear. A rising choir of grunts, moans, and mattress springs reverberated through the walls of the two bedrooms on either side of us. The sounds of sex, now in stereo.

We stifled a giggle after a particularly loud “Fuck yeah!” from Erik, and then again a few seconds later in the other room, when Lisa’s screams kept getting interrupted by her headboard slamming against the wall:

“Ahhh!” (Slam) “Ahhh!” (Slam!) “Ahhh-ahh!” (Slam!)

“What’d I tell you about inspiring the other couples?” I whispered to Annie.

Nobody was winning any world records for stamina that afternoon. After just a few minutes, Lisa and Chris emerged from one bedroom, and Mina and Erik came out of the other, everyone’s hair a disheveled mess. The six of us–having put our ordinary clothes back on–sat down and tried to make small talk, as if nothing had happened. Everything felt forced and alien, like we were trying to strike up a conversation with a bunch of strangers in the waiting room of a dentist’s office, not chatting with some of our best friends in the world.

Then, just as Erik switched on the TV to watch a basketball game, the storm knocked out the power and we were left in a weird state of limbo, surrounded by angry black skies and the muted pounding of rain on the rooftop.

That’s when the laughter started. Like a release valve had been opened on an overworked boiler, an explosion of spontaneous, surreal cackling filled the room. The day had just been too much: the storm, the swimsuits, overhearing each other’s noisy orgasms through the walls, and now the prospect of a lightless indoor vacation with no WiFi and no cell service.

So, we laughed like maniacs.

“Why-is-this-all-so-funny?” Chris laughed.

“And why-am-I-still-so-horny?” Erik added.

“Gee I dunno, maybe because Annie and Lisa are fucking hot?” Mina teased her husband. “And you just spent the afternoon ogling them before rubbing your pervy hands all over Lisa’s body?”

“Mina!” Lisa blushed. But Mina dismissively waved away her protest:

“Oh whatever! It was just a bit of silly fun, it’s not like any of us were cheating.” Mina raised her arms and arched her back to draw everyone’s attention to her ample chest, “Plus, ever since I met Erik, I never get the chance to tease guys with these things anymore.”

“Hey, you tease ME with those things all the time!” Erik argued.

“Nuh-uh, you’re my husband, it’s not the same! When I tease you, it’s just foreplay. You already know you’re getting laid, there’s no suspense!”

Erik laughed, “There was no ‘suspense’ earlier today, either. We all knew we weren’t going any further than a little sunscreen and a back rub.”

“Did we?” Mina smirked, turning to look me dead in the eye. A playful chorus of “Oooohs” filled the room.

Lisa piped in: “I know what you mean! I kinda miss the whole, ‘Will we or won’t we?’ from when I was dating around. Now that I’m married, it’s ALWAYS a sure thing. Like, ‘Yep, we will,’ every time! We take it for granted.”

Annie ruffled my hair with her fingers and said, “Well, Tristan and I have zero idea what you guys are talking about, because we’ve literally never dated anyone else.”

Lisa shook her head, saying, “Yeah, yeah, Annie, you had that fairy tale ‘virgin true-love-at-first-sight’ thing, we know! You think me and Mina weren’t super jealous of what you had?”

“You mean Tristan’s penis?” Mina asked.

Erik choked on his beer. Smiling at his brazen wife, he said, “Geeze, Mina! I guess I underestimated how worked-up Tristan got you with all that sunscreen. Maybe the two of you should just go bang it out in the bedroom real quick so you can get it out of your system.”

“Hey, who said it’d be quick?” I shot back.

“Trust me buddy, when Mina’s running the show, all guys are quick.”

My wife came to my rescue, saying, “I’ll have you all know that my husband here is a stud, and he could totally handle anything Mina could throw at him.”

“Too bad we’ll never know,” Mina cooed.

We were all just joking. Obviously.

I volunteered for dinner duty, but it turned out to be more of a challenge than I’d expected with the blackout. Finding anything in the dark was an ordeal, and the kitchen appliances were every bit as useful as a bunch of stainless steel bricks. Still, I had a matchbook, my cell phone’s flashlight, and a gas-powered stovetop, so I wasn’t entirely helpless.

The atmosphere at the dinner table was surreal, to say the least. Lit by nothing more than three Yankee candles and the occasional bolt of lightning, the room was thick and shadowy. The women’s eyes, lips, and bodies, illuminated by those tiny, dancing flames, took on an otherworldly beauty.

“Feels kind of like a horror movie,” I joked.

“Ah, the perfect first date,” Lisa smiled.

“That’s your perfect date night?” Annie asked her, “Blood and guts? Creepy little ghost kids jumping out of the closet?”

“Yes! It’s perfect because you have a built-in excuse to get all up-close and personal with your guy!”

Lisa scooted her chair away from her own husband, to demonstrate on me as she spoke:

“When the spooky music starts, you get to hug your date like a security blanket...”

Lisa feigned terror and wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me close.

Lace bra, I thought appreciatively, feeling her chest bulging against my arm.

“When the killer jumps out, ‘Boo!’” Lisa continued, “you get to avert your eyes by burying your face against his strong, manly chest...”

She let out a sudden yelp at some imaginary jumpscare and pressed her face into my pectorals. I glanced over at Chris, who was just shaking his head amusedly at Lisa’s antics.

“And, as the movie goes on,” Lisa continued, now looking up in my eyes, “you get closer and closer. By the time the credits roll, you’re sitting on his lap, making out as quietly as possible while grinding on his boner. He starts groping you–discreetly of course, since you’re in a public place–but if the theater is dark and empty enough, the two of you might even get some under-the-pants action.”

The fingers holding my arm clenched tighter into my muscles. Lisa’s lips curled up into a smile. There was an undeniable twinkle of energy between us; a tiny spark of what might have been.

Just then, the power came back on. Whatever moment I had been having with Lisa, real or imagined, was instantly gone. She broke away and returned to Chris.

“Also, if you watch one from the eighties, there’s usually boobs,” Erik added helpfully.

“Sounds fun,” Annie said. “Too bad Tristan and I will never know what that’s like.”

“Hey, we’ve had scary movie dates before!” I protested.

“Yeah, but we only ever had one FIRST date. And it was great, but there were no murders, whatsoever. At least none we know about. And neither of us ever dated anybody else after that.”

“Oh man!” Erik cried out in dismay. “You guys never had a scary movie first date? Not even in high school?”

“We didn’t really date before college, then we met each other right away,” I reminded him. “We were super shy kids with scary, overbearing parents.”

“It’s not the same when it’s not your first date,” Mina said.

Lisa added, “The whole point is that it helps you get over the initial awkwardness, and then you have this super-fast ramp up to kissing and groping. It’s a hundred times better than booze.”

With the power restored, we could hear the TV coming from the other room. Some washed-up comedian from Saturday Night Live was shouting about switching our car insurance.

I looked over at my Annie, effortlessly sexy in a stretchy white tee shirt and jeans. Any man would be lucky to experience a first date with her, but I was the only guy who’d ever had the pleasure. And, once again, there was that same train of thought from earlier:

What had Annie and I stolen from each other by meeting so young?

My woman deserved to feel desired by the whole goddamn world; her heart swelling with pride and excitement as guy after guy got his first taste of her lips, his first over-eager handful of her butt, his first glimpse of her full, naked breasts.

I had denied her all of that.

As silly as it sounded, I felt a sudden pang of guilt realizing that even something as simple as groping and kissing during a “first-date scary-movie” was an experience neither Annie nor I would ever get to enjoy. Not unless...

“What about tonight?” I blurted out before I could stop myself.

My words were met with five blank, uncomprehending faces.

“What do you mean?” Mina asked.

I took a deep breath before nervously answering, “I mean, what if we put a horror movie on in the other room right now? What if we all had that scary movie date Annie and I never got to try?”

Lisa shook her head, “I told you, it’s not the same when it’s not your FIRST date.”

I looked over at Annie again, then said, “Well ... Annie’s never been on a date with Erik or Chris, has she?”

Annie’s eyes went wide. Her cheeks went red. And her pulse, I knew, went racing.

“Wha- what do you mean?” Chris asked.

Okay. Deep breath. “I mean, why don’t the six of us trade dates during the movie? We could all get a taste of that ‘first date suspense’ we’ve been missing lately.”

“Wait, are you serious?” Mina asked. “You want to put on a movie and swap dates?”

“Well, I mean, I guess? We could just see where it goes, right?”

I felt suddenly self-conscious, aware of the magnitude of what I’d just said. But then I saw my wife’s eyes again–the thrill in them–and I thought of my own desires; all the years I’d spent fantasizing about Lisa and Mina.

For better or for worse, this idea had popped into my head, and I couldn’t wriggle out of it.

I tried not to swallow my words as I kept rambling on, “I just think it’d be fun. We’d all be in the same room together, it’s not like we’d be doing anything sneaky behind each other’s backs. Nobody would have to do anything they weren’t comfortable with.”

You could hear a pin drop.

Well, not literally, because at that very moment a comically dramatic crash of thunder shook the entire house.

Aw, come on, somebody crack a joke! I silently pleaded. Make fun of me again for the auto-corrected ‘monogamy.’

But nobody did. I felt like I was drowning.

Then, my sweet, innocent wife of all people came to my rescue. “But how would we choose who pairs up with who?” Annie asked. “I wouldn’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings.”

“Hold on, Annie, you’re okay with this?” Lisa asked, incredulous.

“With swapping spouses for the night?” Erik asked, also not believing his ears.

Annie shrugged, “I mean, it’s like Tristan said. It’s not like we’re becoming full-on swingers or anything. It would just be like we were fooling around in the back of a dark movie theater for a couple hours. Doesn’t feel like it’s THAT different from what we were doing earlier today with the sunscreen.”

Erik and Chris both had terrible poker faces; everyone could instantly see that they were on board with the idea. Mina and Lisa were much harder to read.

“Girls-only meeting!” Mina declared, leaping to her feet. She grabbed Annie and Lisa by the hands and led them away into the privacy of Mina’s bedroom. Annie cast a final, excited glance in my direction before Mina shut and locked the door behind them.

The other men turned to look at me in unison.

“Soooooo ... um, I, uh...” Chris stammered.

“Uh-huh,” I answered, equally articulate. “I mean, if, you know.”

Erik nodded, “Sure, sure. If, yeah. As long as ... right. Yeah.”

“Good talk,” I said.

We all nodded. Nobody wanted to add anything more to the conversation. No need to make it weird with actual sentences.

The three women clearly needed a little more time to discuss the matter. We let them have it, doing the dishes and tidying up to keep ourselves from going crazy while we waited.

At long last, our wives rejoined us. Without a word, Annie took my hand, Mina grabbed her husband, and Lisa took Chris away, and they led us back into our respective bedrooms.

“Everything okay?” I whispered.

Annie answered by pulling me in for a powerful kiss.

“Thank you. I love you. Let’s have fun,” she whispered.

“What did you girls talk about?” I asked.

“Rules. Limits. What we were all comfortable with.”

“Great! Rules. Gotta have rules. What did you decide?”

Annie shook her head, coyly biting her lower lip as she whispered, “It’s a secret.”

“So ... that means...”

“That means I think you’re gonna enjoy finding out. No–scratch that–I KNOW you’re gonna enjoy finding out.”

It was like a bolt of lightning lit me up from head to toe. I’m pretty sure my hair stood up on end–Zzzap!–like some matinee mad scientist.

Annie continued, “How about you guys? What are the men comfortable with?”

“Well, we did have a pretty in-depth discussion about it. Three or four words, at least.”

She playfully slugged me in the arm.

I grinned, “We’re comfortable with whatever you are. As long as everyone is having fun.”

Annie took my hand again and tugged me deeper into the bedroom, practically skipping with excitement.

“Great! Now let’s go slip into something a little more comfortable for our dates.”

Choosing the perfect horror movie for a make-believe “first date” was a tricky proposition, even with a genre expert like Lisa leading the discussion.

“I like Pan’s Labyrinth,” Annie offered. “It’s so pretty.”

My wife had decided to play up her “adorableness” factor in her choice of pajamas, wearing a tight pink tee shirt with Hello Kitty printed across the chest. It was a crop top, so her toned tummy was on full display above a stretchy pair of athletic shorts that hugged her butt cheeks while leaving her gorgeous legs totally bare. The overall effect simultaneously screamed girl-next-door sweetness and sexy-slumber-party fantasy.

Lisa shook her head at Annie’s suggestion, “Pan’s Labyrinth is a great movie, but not really a ‘snuggly first date kind of movie.’ The sad parts are too depressing, and the main character’s a little kid. Not sexy.”

“How about the new Saw movie?” Mina offered. “That was awesome.”

Mina’s pajamas were far less subtle than Annie’s. She had decided to tease the men with a satin nightie in midnight blue. The shimmering fabric flowed over her outrageous curves like water, catching the light every time she changed position on the couch. It even had a slit up the side to expose her voluptuous hips and matching panties.