Chapter 10

Walking through the hallways with a rubber dick dangling between her legs and a naked boy crawling behind her makes her no longer anxious about the mirrors. The reflections she sees are not a reminder of her loneliness or vulnerability, but her authority. She leads him up from the basement. The queen looks down upon him. She’s satisfied. Mel winks at the painting. They pass through a hallway, Mel stepping confidently, seeing the queen in herself, too.

When they reach the room, she yanks him to his feet and attaches him to the St. Andrew’s cross. He passively allows it. She sits on the bed, admiring the man held spread eagle in front of her, then she lights a joint and smokes. She takes a moment to lay back and soak in the situation. The hottest boy she’s ever been with. For the past few weeks, she’s had to put up with so much bullshit to enjoy that body. Now it’s hers. On her terms. It belongs to her. She strokes the dildo between her legs, looking at the mirror above the bed. She wants to preserve this in her mind.

She takes another long, slow drag of her joint. He’s always in such a hurry. She enjoyed the anticipation yesterday, when he looked for her. Perhaps she’ll take her time. He’s breathing slowly against the wall, unable to see how at ease she is.

She waits and lets the weed hit her. Once it does, she gingerly stands and inspects the many implements on the wall, before settling on a flogger. She catches a glimpse of herself, posing in front of the mirror as she swings the toy back and forth playfully. How often does she see herself this way? Her whole chest is full, and she brings the flogger down across Toby’s back.