Chapter 9: At The Beeb

We had most of the next morning for ourselves. First stop of our exploration of the City was just around the corner. The Theatre Royal Drury Lane was certainly a sight to behold. Jenn told me a bit about the long history of the institution. The current building is the fourth at the site, but for four hundred years, this had been an address for first-rate theatre productions. On a whim, we tried to get into an evening show, but everything was booked solid.

Still, there was a lot to see on our stroll to Trafalgar Square, Piccadilly Circus, the St. James Park and Green Park with St. James Palace and Buckingham Palace, then Westminster Cathedral and past Parliament, and finally Whitehall. We even saw a troop of Horse Guards.

“We need to come back here, maybe for a week,” was my conclusion after checking off the sites in a great hurry.

“No argument from me,” Jenn smiled back and gave me a hug. “It’s a long flight, but we can always combine it with visiting my family.”

“You only mean your parents, right?”

“Yes, definitely. Although I sent them a text this morning with a photograph of our hotel room and telling them to go on Beeb One later to see us.”

“Still trying to get back into that will?”

“Ass! Okay, yes. Better me than some bloody kennel club.”

We had lunch at the Boulevard Brasserie before we went up to our room and dressed for the afternoon. We had in fact found appropriate clothing in our suitcases, pricey casual chic, and for her hair, Jenn went with a single French braid.

We took a taxicab to Portland Place, where the studio is located in the BBC headquarters, and one of Shannon’s minions picked us up in the reception area and led us to the elevators. Once we exited the lift, we were handed over to the make-up people, and when they were done with us, we were parked in a green room where an open bottle of champagne was waiting for us. We both had a small glass to settle the inevitable nerves and loosen us up. There was also a small TV set on which we could follow the ongoing show.

After a half hour wait, some assistant looked in and gave us the five minute warning. We started our warm-up then, reciting a short dialogue from The Shrew, simply to establish the brain-mouth coordination, and when the assistant came back, we were ready.

We were led into the studio where Shannon and another presenter shared one sofa, while another sofa was obviously reserved for us. Shannon waved to us with a smile, and we sat down. There was also a small audience standing in the background, ready to give applause on cue. Obviously, Shannon got her cue from the director, and after looking around once, she nodded to us. Then she started.

“Our next guests are the stars of the comedy series Utilities Included, which is aired Thursdays at 10 pm on BBC2. Please welcome Jennifer Saint David and Richard Borgward, better known as Priscilla and Ricky to their viewers.”

The standing audience gave a, by definition, standing ovation, and we nodded around like bobbleheads.

“Jennifer, Richard, thank you for coming!”

“Thank you for having us,” Jenn smiled back, and I nodded again.

“You were in fact vacationing together in the Lake District, weren’t you?”

“Yes, we had a very nice week there with my parents and my sister.”

“Richard, you are from Malibu. How does it feel to be in England?”

“A tad wet sometimes, but that’s okay. Better, in fact, than wild fires. Seeing so much green in the countryside is a vacation for my eyes.”

“You have an unusual background for a star in a network show, haven’t you?”

“One might say that. It’s no secret that I earned my living as an adult performer until three years ago.”

“Did you give up that career to join the cast of UI?

“No, I had already left the industry and I was at a crossroads what to do next. It was really dumb luck. I was screening potential tenants for a friend’s condo apartment, and one of the prospects was our producer, Sharon. We had coffee together, haggling over the lease conditions, when she suddenly asked me to do a one-off guest appearance on UI, which was still in its infancy. The idea was for me to be an annoying wannabe roommate in Pris’s shared house, flustering her with my adult performer personality.”

“It worked out great,” Jenn smiled. “I can be a bit daunting for my co-stars, but Ricky never let me fluster him.”

“When you’ve been accosted by all sorts of haters for over ten years, you tend to develop a thick skin,” I explained.

“Jennifer, how does it feel to be a sitcom actress after years of being a classically trained stage performer?”

“Liberating,” Jenn smiled. “Our cast and crew has been together for four years now. We started small and grew together, so there are little rivalries and a great exchange. We also persevered together when we transferred from cable to network TV. That was a big step, and not everything went smoothly. In the end, we made it, and that is the glue that holds us together. Also, we have new guest stars in every episode, with a wide range of personalities, from greenhorn studio talent to celebrated movie actors, or in some instances, more colorful personalities. It keeps us on our toes.”

“You actually had Melanie Renault in your season finale. What was it like to work with her?”

“A pleasant experience. She and her husband David are very down to earth, even nerdy. Our negotiations were done over a dinner at their house. She was on time every morning, made no demands, was friendly to the staff and gave us a top-notch performance.”

“She had a reputation for being difficult, hadn’t she?”

“We all know why, don’t we?” Jenn snapped. I had to agree; that had been a very stupid question, faulting a rape victim for not being Miss Sunshine. Mel must have gone through hell during her adolescence.

“Oh, yes, of course,” Shannon paddled back, realising the lapse. “She is all but retired from acting, isn’t she?”

Jenn shrugged. “You’ll have to ask her.”

Shannon caught on and switched topics. “You two are a couple in private life. How does that influence your professional interaction?”

“I don’t think that it has,” I opined.

“It’s even easier now. We have almost 50 minutes to discuss stuff during our morning commute,” Jenn explained. “That saves time during the day. Also, if we have time overruns, I don’t have to call and make excuses, because Ricky is right there, working alongside with me. That already takes care of about 50% of the usual squabbles between spouses in our business. You know, ‘why didn’t you call; now dinner is cold!’, or ‘I tried to call, but you damn phone was busy all the time’. See where I’m heading?”

“Is your romantic involvement the reason for recruiting a different type of guest stars?”

“You mean, we don’t have adult performers any more?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“That was to have more variety. We were in danger of being repetitive. NBS has a large pool of talented performers under contract, and having some of them as guest stars makes fiscal sense and gives both sides room for development. Still, we had Terry Duke on the show, and she was terrific.”

“Then, there was Jolene...”

“Please, not! People have made too much of that episode already. Having Miss Conolly on the show was a mistake for which I am partly to blame. We had to resolve that situation in the midst of shooting the episode, and sadly, Miss Conolly did not see eye to eye with us on the script changes. If we’d had the time to convince her, things wouldn’t have ended acrimoniously. Us and her was a big misunderstanding from start to end.”

“I sense your lawyer personality shining through,” Shannon smiled. “About that. You have a law degree. Can you see yourself practicing the law?”

“Possibly. What I can’t see is clients coming to me. Seriously, going to law school was always meant as a fallback option. Yet now, in my position as assistant producer, it helps that I have an understanding of contract law and labor laws. The NBS legal department does the actual work on all legal matters, but I can make their life easier.”

“Jennifer, do you see yourself returning to the stage at one point?”

“I am not averse to it. I would also like to try my hand on more contemporary plays. Yet, given our shooting schedule for UI, I’ll be limited to small roles for the foreseeable future. We have a great show, a great crew and loyal viewers, and I shan’t turn my back on them. Where I see opportunities are summer theatre productions, but I would also hate to miss out on spending time with Ricky.”