Teaming With the Shrew
Copyright© 2025 by Argon
Chapter 15: Special Care Unit
I remember waking up with a murderous headache. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t swallow, I couldn’t think. To my left I saw flashing lights from the corner of my eye and a soft, rhythmic beeping. I tried to clear my throat, but even the feeble attempt made my head hurt like crazy. Just then, something moved in my vision. It was a head, in a green paper cover with a surgical mask over the lower face.
“Mister Borgward! Welcome back! Can you hear me and understand me?”
I made a pathetic attempt to nod, but the eyes above the mask smiled.
“Are you feeling pain?”
Nod.
“A headache?”
Nod.
“That is normal. You sustained a head injury.”
“M’wive?”
“Your wife is very busy at the moment, Mister Borgward. She’s giving birth. She wasn’t injured and neither was the baby, but she went into labor four hours ago. Now, please concentrate! I’ll give you a few ice cubes for your throat, okay?”
Nod. She did, and it felt wonderful.
“I’m adjusting your pain medication, now that you’re awake. Do you approve?”
“Ogodyes.”
“You are still in the Intensive Care Unit, Mister Borgward. Dr. Dasgupta will see you shortly. She is the neurosurgeon who operated on you. Do you understand?”
“Y’s.”
“I’m giving you more ice cubes now. Try to calm down. After Dr. Dasgupta’s visit, we’ll clean you a bit. Looking forward to it!” she ended, and even with the mask I could see a cheeky grin.
I tried to groan, but it hurt too much. I must have lain for a half hour or more when a dark-eyed women bent over me.
“Mister Borgward, I’m Doctor Neena Dasgupta. I’m a staff neurosurgeon. You were brought in after a severe collision. Do you remember that?”
Strangely, I did, and I nodded.
“That’s good. You were quite lucky. A fire engine returning from a call happened to be at the accident site only a minute after the crash. They took care of your wife and of you. We had you here in the ER inside fifteen minutes. You had a substantial subdural bleeding which we managed to drain and stop. All your vitals were good, and you only sustained minor bruising on your shoulder and a bit of airbag burn. Did you understand that?”
“‘Yes.”
“Good. We had you in the MRT this morning and performed an EEG. Since everything looks all right, we let you wake up. Now, I understand that you experience headaches. That is normal after such an injury. You were concussed after all. Those headaches should fade away in the next days, but we’ll keep you on a mild pain medication for now. If all goes well, you’ll be in a normal room tomorrow.”
“Dank-oo!”
“In case you need a moral boost, there’s a young lady by the name of Geraldine Borgward being weighed and cleaned downstairs. The birth went without a hitch, I was told. Your wife already knows that you’re awake again and she sends her love. If all goes well, you’ll see both tomorrow.”
For some reason, I felt tears welling up.
“Dank you! De odder diver?”
She looked around before she answered. “He was dead even before he hit your car. A brain aneurism, right out of the blue it seems.”
Shit! Not even somebody there to blame! I made a grimace, and she understood.
“Shit can happen to good people, too, Mister Borgward.”
After the doc left, the nurse saw me again, adjusting a drip or three, and giving me the promised sponge bath. I could not help much, since even the slightest movement made my head explode. Afterwards I was given some jello and fruit juice. They must have added something to the drip, too, since I soon fell asleep and did not wake before the next morning.
The headache was much less when I opened my eyes again and looked around, and I could move my head without pain. Another nurse, a male, showed at my side and took my vitals before I was given some liquid food from a squeeze bag. All but one drip were removed and I was propped up a little for the visiting rounds. Dr. Dasgupta looked over my vitals and charts and stuff and then had me prepared for transport to a normal room.
There was some sort of an airlock where my bed was pushed in and against a barrier, and then, two orderlies helped me across the barrier and into a fresh, regular hospital bed. A clear plastic bag containing my personal belongings was laid on my lap, and I had to sign a receipt. My clothing, I was told, had been cut off me when I was rushed into surgery.
One of the orderlies pushed my bed along a corridor and then into an elevator. We went up three or four floors, and then I was pushed along another corridor until we arrived at a door marked “Special Care Unit”, where the orderly handed me over to a pretty twenty-ish nurse who welcomed me with a well-practiced smile.
“Good day, Mister Borgward. Let me show you to your room now!”
Three doors down the next corridor, my bed and I were pushed into a spacious room and I looked at Jenn, who was lying in another bed that was already hooked up. I was parked next to her and drank in the sight.
“How ... how are you ... and our girl?” I fairly stammered.
Jenn was crying seeing me and I realized that I wasn’t looking my best. I had already found out with my hands that my head was wrapped in bandages, and I expected to have a full-blown raccoon face.
“We’re good, Ricky, we’re good. Oh shit, I was so scared! I thought I’d lost you. You were bleeding all over your face and I couldn’t get you to respond.”
“The doctor told me that a fire engine was there a minute after?”
“Yes, they were so great! They noticed my belly of course, and within minutes we were both loaded into ambulances.”
“Hr-hm, Mister Borgward?”
“Ah ... yes?”
It was the nurse.
“You are familiar with the controls of the bed? I would ask you not to lower your upper body. We want your head up for the next two days, and we’ll keep the oxygen running for another day. We’ll remove the catheter and get you up on your feet later. Don’t try to get up on your own, please. If there is anything you need, push the call button.”
“Will I stay here?”
“For the next two days, yes. You and Missus Borgward can probably leave together. Do you have any pain right now?”
“No, Nurse, not really. A bit of a headache, but it’s manageable.”
“Let us know if it gets worse. Have you any food allergies or special food needs?”
“No allergies. If there’s cauliflower or broccoli in the veggies, don’t bother bringing them. Oh, and no seafood.”
That made the nurse, A. Vasquez, R.N., as I could read on her name plate, grin. “No seafood in here. We do have to stay within our budget. I’ll leave you and Missus Borgward to yourself until lunch time. Little Geraldine will be brought over shortly.”
“Thanks, Nurse,” I answered, but then my whole attention was on Jenn.
“Darling, I’m sorry that I couldn’t help you through the birth.”
“Are you nuts? I’ll settle for you being able to come home with me. Ricky, I was so afraid! I ... I almost had to have a C-section. I was so beside myself, I couldn’t ... focus on the birth. Luckily, nature took over. When they ... told me afterwards that you were awake and responsive ... I cried my eyes out.”
“I was afraid that you and the baby might be hurt, but the doc told me right away that you were busy becoming a mom.”
“The other driver died in the crash. No, that’s wrong, he was dead before he hit us.”
“Yes, some sort of aneurism, right? Shit, we’ll need a new mom bomb. Damn it, if we’d been in Isabella, we’d all be dead now.”
“I know. Even in the Beemer...” Jenn agreed. “Let’s get a van again. I didn’t even get a scratch, only some slight whiplash. You were hurt because he slammed into us right behind your seat. The airbags deployed, but the impact was too massive, and you hit the door frame with your head. If you hadn’t floored the gas pedal, he would’ve hit your door directly.”
“Jeez, I didn’t even think of that, but you’re right. Damn, a close call. Do our parents know of everything?”
“Mum and Dad will be flying in tomorrow; and your parents already arrived yesterday, but you were asleep again already. Judy sends her love. She wanted to visit; Brenda and Lucy, too, but they wouldn’t let them inside the ICU.”
“Maybe better. I must look like a haunted house prop.”
That made her chuckle, and she grimaced. “Don’t make me laugh. It still hurts. And yes, you look a bit damaged.”
If I scooted to the right and Jenn to her left, we could reach our hands, and the force of Jenn’s grip told me a little about the fears she must have had.
“Yeah, me too, darling. Obviously, I’m a few days in arrears with telling you that I love you. I love you, Jenn, and I can’t wait to see our baby girl.”
Yet, I had to wait for an hour before another supermodel wearing haute couture scrubs brought Geraldine in. All I could see with my brimming eyes was some white bundle that was softly mewling until it attached itself to Jenn’s left breast. Jenn had gone from B-cup wannabes to solid Bs during her pregnancy, and the little pooper was obviously happy to get a taste. Jenn was also sporting a blissful smile as she looked down on the cloth bundle in her arm.
“No problems with feeding her?”
“None. She must have good eyesight to see my flea bites, but she liked them from the start. Size isn’t everything.”
Supermodel had to bite back a grin, I could see, but I could see that her eyes were a bit shiny. Women, they’re so emotional! Me, I manly wiped my eyes with my sleeve to see better.
“Ap ... apropos size, what are her numbers?”
“Twenty inches, 5 pounds, 8 ounces,” supermodel proclaimed with pride, as if she’s delivered Geraldine herself.
“Thanks, Nurse,” I said nicely. “Can you also tell me what the meaning of special care unit is?”
She blushed a little. “It was formerly called the VIP unit, but that was deemed too elitist. All patients are equally important, after all.”
“So it’s simply a plush version of your regular patient care?”
“Pretty much, Sir. Your studio let us know to place you here. We are happy about it, too, Sir. Most of us are fans of your show.”
“Umh, we already shot the whole birth and hospital play scenes for the show. I have to warn you. Your make-believe colleagues have rather exaggerated personalities.”
“Nurse Ratchet?”
“Pretty much. Of course Melanie Renault plays the nice ob/gyn, but the nursing staff is overworked and cynical, and the food ... well, you can guess.”
“Oh, like downstairs?” she grinned. “Don’t worry. We’ve got a sense of humor. The brass won’t like it though.”
“Nurse, if you can spruce up Ricky a little, we can take a group photo of us three with you guys and put it at the end of the episode, with everybody grinning happily,” Jenn suggested. “Would that make your admins happy?”
“I don’t care, but it would make me happy,” the nurse grinned. “I’ll talk to the others and to the resident. We may need approval if it’s for publication. Oh, we even have a photographer on the staff. He normally shoots the ugly stuff for the doctors’ lectures, you know, boils and lesions to impress the students. I’ll get something organized for tomorrow. We’ll notify your ob/gyn, too, the real one.”
“Great! I’ll see to it that your stills photographer gets paid, Nurse Sorensen,” I offered, having seen her name plate.
“Don’t! You’re gonna make his day as it is. Look, can I leave little Geraldine with you? I’ll be back before lunch to pick her up again.”
“Sure! I’ll push the call button if we can’t handle something.”
“You do that! See you in about forty minutes.”
“Life is unfair,” Jenn complained after Nurse Sorensen had left.
“How so?”
“They send in Miss Denmark for you, but where’s Mister Denmark for me?”
“Probably hiding in a corner. Remember, people know you only as Pris.”
“Yeah, that’s a drag. I’ll have to make do with you.”
“Out, Jenn, out!”
Food in the special care unit was rather good, considering. Jenn and I had soup, followed by a stew, and a fruit yoghurt, while Geraldine was back in the nursery for a nap. After lunch, we both took a nap until we were woken by a commotion outside. Seconds later, nine people flooded our room, two twin parental units, plus Lucy, Brenda, Sharon and Jean and Cherry, the talking giraffe. I didn’t even know that Cherry was in the US.
For a few minutes, chaos reigned, with everybody asking questions or voicing their own viewpoint of what had happened to us. Strangely, Lucy was the calmest of them, just listening and asking a few questions after everybody else had tired out. She was almost subdued.
“What’s up, Lucy?” I finally asked her.
“I was so fucking scared when I saw the news. They showed a horrible picture of you being loaded on a stretcher.”
“Yeah, I was pretty banged up.”
“Some news sites published obits.”
“Well, you know, the reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.” Yes, I know, not an actual quote.
“Yeah, only the good die young,” Brenda threw in from across Jenn’s bed, to some laughter.
“It’s quite simple: Jenn forbade him to die, and he’s too afraid of her to disobey,” Cherry added.
“I’ll have you know that I am my own master and that I have Jenn’s permission to say so,” I threw in.
“You guys are nuts!” Lucy stated with a shake of her head.
“And you only noticed now?” Brenda laughed. “Now, seriously, where’s the baby girl? You don’t really think we came to see you, do you?”
It went on like that. My parents were shaking their heads while the Saint Davids made their own pithy remarks. They wouldn’t have stopped if Nurse Sorensen hadn’t come in with a hungry Geraldine. Then all the attention was on the cloth bundle in Jenn’s arm. Without ado, Jenn whipped out one swollen breast and the fruit of my loins attached to it like a limpet mine. All the females were melting into one big puddle on the floor at the sight, and the grandfathers developed watery eyes. I would have probably cried, too, but they all stood around Jenn’s bed and I didn’t see a fucking thing of Geraldine. Told me where I stood in the order of things.
It took a while for little Geraldine to finish her late lunch, and then some more time until each of our visitors had held the bundle for the minimum required time. Eventually, things quieted down though, and I decided that now was possibly the time to see my daughter from up close for the first time.
“Guys, d’you think I can hold her, too, for a few moments. I haven’t even seen her from up close yet.”
Jenn blushed. “Oh, shit, Ricky! Why didn’t you say something?”
“Who would’ve even heard me, let alone listened to me?” Yes, I was a little petulant.
Lucy elbowed her way to the front and took Geraldine from Jenn, handing her to me carefully.
“Here you go, Daddy. Sorry we all went a little crazy.”
“Thanks, Lucy. I wasn’t able this morning, and then she slept, and when Nurse Sorensen brought her back in, the feeding frenzy started. I just wanna see what she looks like.”
“She’s pretty, Richard,” my father said solemnly. “Sorry about us monopolizing her.”
I didn’t really pay attention. I had eyes and ears only for our girl. She had a wrinkled, reddish face, and her eyes were squinting, but I knew right there and then that she would be my pretty girl, regardless of what she’d look like.
They were all watching me as I held Geraldine, but it was Brenda who summed up their impression.
“He’s a goner.”
“As it should be,” David said authoritatively. “Apropos, where’s Judith?”
“She’ll drop by tomorrow. She’s got a time slot in the observatory which she couldn’t miss, some date with a nebula,” Jenn explained. “Don’t worry; she was here twice already.”
“I take it you won’t have a church baptism?” my mom asked matter of factly. They weren’t churchy either.
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