Chapter 29

“I thought for certain they were going to insist on nuptials in the Chapel of the Gods and a full reception in the grand feasting hall,” Paquin said.

North poked his head out of the bathing room as he wiped down his wet torso. The tub of water had cooled to a tepid temperature before he stepped out of it. He was confident every part of his body was thoroughly clean because Paquin had scrubbed every point of his skin with a bristle brush and a flowery paste she insisted was better for the skin than pig tallow. He was not sure he wanted a repeat of the adventure as he plotted how he could bathe in the barracks without looking cowed.

“I think we’ve been walking blind through a field of kill pits, and we didn’t know it,” North replied. “We’ve been unusually lucky. Now that we’re on notice, we must be keen and focused. When Gartin said there was a vacuum, I thought ... well, I thought it was in the past.”

“To think I threatened the quartermaster,” Paquin said. “Madness.”

“Madness?”

“Yes, I didn’t follow through and he’s still here, able to cause me and mine mischief,” she said. “Never make a threat and fail to follow through on it.”

“First things, first,” North said. “Where’s Botham?”

“You left behind a few pairs of your precious underwear, and he went to retrieve them from the laundress,” Paquin said. “I don’t like him much.”

“He’s underhanded, devious, and willing to take any shortcut necessary to get the job done,” North said, raising his hand to stop any further protest. “Your discomfort is your failure to recognize that he’s not attracted to women.”

“Really?” she said with wide eyes.

“Therein lies your problem,” North said, pulling his tunic over his head. “I couldn’t care a whit where he sticks his cock. His value is where he sticks his nose and how he cocks his ear. He’s a gem and I haven’t met another like him here at the Court. Because I give him respect for his talents, he gives me his loyalty.”

“Nice look,” she said as he toweled his head, “emphasizes your danglies. Well, I missed that connection. I thought I knew most things one needs to know about the Court and in one fell swoop, I’m proven wrong. I need to find a female attendant with similar attributes.”

“There are plenty of those, but most of them are hardened gossips who can’t keep their mouths shut or preserve a confidence,” North said, turning towards the door as it opened. “Success?”

“Two pairs, sir,” Botham said. “I am having your new purchases washed today. Your audience with the Queen is in a quarter bell, sir. We must hurry.”

“Aye, throw those boots over here,” North said before turning back to Paquin. “Go and find the Yellow Jester. He’ll help you locate a suitable candidate. In the meantime, wish me luck.”

“Luck? Don’t let your mind wander nor let her intimidate you,” Paquin said. “Remember what you said: Much is afoot.”

The secretary waved North through when he arrived at her Majesty’s formal offices. He stood before her desk and bowed from his waist. When she did not look up, he took up the position of parade rest, waiting in silence. She read another sheet of parchment and signed it.

“General Tungar will join us momentarily,” she said. “I did not anticipate you being on time.”

“There is much I’m eager to report,” North said.

She looked up with her quill still in her hand. “Sergeant Alomar gave a decent report when he returned, although he lacked many details I would have liked to hear. The Lord Secretary of the Exchequer almost had a heart attack when Alomar presented your books, and his additions.”