Chapter 17

“The cock crows at the cow,” North read aloud. “The cow lows at the goat. The goat bleats at the cat. The cat hisses at the mouse. The mouse squeaks and runs away.” He looked up to see Bordo staring at him. “This is embarrassing.”

“Eh, just get it done already,” Bordo said, bending over to scan the sheet. “Her Majesty rushed things a bit yesterday.”

“Yah, I think she left out a few things like rites, rules, responsibilities and expected side effects of bonding with a god object – just a few items.” North put down the sheet of paper and rubbed his eyes with his palms.

Bordo sat down in the alcove across from him. “Quit your bellyaching. After I bonded, I had a migraine for two days. I couldn’t tolerate light at all and no loud sounds. I could barely keep down water. You walked out of there prancing like the Purple Piper, following her Majesty like a puppy dog. Talk about embarrassing.”

North digested those tidbits for a moment. “Serious question: What am I supposed to do, now?”

Bordo snatched a roll from North’s plate. “As far as the bond, Fianos has the complete list of what you need to know. She is also a stronger Power user than I am. She can show you some things that I can only describe.”

“I like Fianos. An aside, why haven’t you asked for her hand?”

Bordo snorted. “She doesn’t like penises unless they’re stuffed and hanging on the trophy wall. We have a running bet that whoever finds a woman first wins a cask.”

“None of the maids here interest you?”

“No, they’re a bunch of fragile little birds who want the life of a lord’s wife, and not much else,” Bordo swallowed a chunk of the roll. “Look at us. We would break their delicate little wings by the merest accident of, I don’t know, waving an arm? I need substance on a woman’s frame.”

“You should go to the South to find a wife, Bordo.”

“I went to the South and all we found of worth was you,” Bordo waved off the suggestion. “The rest of the ranks were filled with the usual come-’n-go’s that seek money, employment, escape from bad decisions, misadventure, and other delusions - the usual fare.”

“All you saw of the women were the local whores,” North said. “If my sister had met you, she would’ve tied you down and screwed you until you submitted.”

“You’re pawning off your sister, North? Ew.”

“We have the same parents, dunderhead. The blood that runs in my veins is the same blood that runs in hers. She is fine, in and of herself, but think of the children you would make. You want to talk about mages and Power? Even Aegis said the next Power users would probably come from the South. In any case, my sister is probably married by now, so you’re shit-out-of-luck there; although, I have a cousin who is coming of age soon.”

Bordo threw the rest of the roll at North. “Asshole. Speaking of which, how did the summit with His Lordship and Madam Ambassador go?”

“This morning upon awakening, I figured my best course was to kidnap Paquin and ride off to the nearby woods, and have at it,” North said. “Then I thought a little more and figured that if we set off an earthquake, you would know precisely where I was and what I was doing. I mean, I have a woman who wants me, and I want her, and what the frickin’ hell?”

“What did her parents say?” Bordo asked with a laconic smile. North recognized his friend was fishing for information to share over the next mug of beer.

“I am surrounded by a danger zone,” North said, tracing a square around himself before deciding to change the subject. “I leave in six days. Earthquakes aside, I had a long encounter with the Lord Exchequer. In short, he lectured me for three hours and I barked once or twice at the end.”