Chapter 10

“Learning alphabets is brute force memorization,” Dame Minogue explained. “Thirty letters and each makes one sound. Your task is to memorize the letter and the sound it makes.”

North nodded his head. “The way you explain it makes sense. How do I memorize?”

She beamed. “An excellent question that indicates you are thinking forward. Take this deck of blank cards and this wrapped lead; we call it a pencil. You will draw one letter on each card. On the back you draw a picture of an object that starts with that sound, such as a bird for the ‘B.’”

“Or an asshole for the ‘A,’” North quipped.

The woman took one of the cards and commanded North to write an A on it. She then flipped over the card and drew a “ * “ in the middle of it. “Asshole. Really, the Jack of the Spades needs to upgrade his juvenile humor if he hopes to hold his own with the haughty harpies who sit in judgment at the Court.” She gave him a withering look. “Write out the capital letters first and then the lowercase ones. Go through the cards three times a sitting and three sittings a day. Follow my instructions and you will have the alphabet memorized in no more than five days, possibly less.”

North copied down all the letters while the Dame worked on her own papers across from him. He made crude drawings on the back as instructed. When he finished, she quickly reviewed his writing to confirm all was correct and proper. She released a few clucks of disapproval at his drawings but otherwise, let them all pass inspection.

“I’m not an artist,” North said, trying to find a segue, “and I’ve never been to a Salon. Are you a member?”

“Yes, I am, and more and more, I regret my inclusion,” she said. North gave her a gesture of silent encouragement. “There is nothing original there and nothing radically new in years. Every season of ‘New’ is recycled pap, derivatives of long stale ideas and insights.”

“I heard a musical piece from the window, and I thought it was enchanting,” North said. “I was curious because I had never heard anything so beautiful.”

She flicked her nails with her thumbs. “If you want an invitation, I could possibly secure you one, but I cannot offer a promise. Then again, an invitation would be a noose around your neck. No, Jack of Spades, let’s stay on this one task and circle back to your taste for music at a later date.”

Before she turned him loose, he had one more question. “I understand that the Power can be used for more than battle skills and weapons. Can you help me with that as well?”

Dame Minogue patted his hand. “I already am, my dear boy. Now go bang your shields and thump your chests with the other misguided boys. I will see you in three days at three bells past noon.”

After field practice the next day, North was gnawing on stale bread and slurping soup in the kitchen alcove with his cards for company. Already, eighteen cards sat in the memorized pile. He was determined to have this step completed by the time he met with Dame Minogue again. His study was disturbed as his assistant drew near.

“Pardon, sir, but the Queen would like a word with you,” Botham said.

“Is that the exact words she used?” North asked, sliding his cards into one pile.

“She said to me, ‘Get his sorry ass in my office, now, even if you have to drag him whining and crying.’”

“Any clue as to what I’ve done?” North said.

Botham gestured with both hands. “I know the words going around the Court, but not what her Majesty is thinking. Apparently, the scene early yesterday morning was quite a laugh. Her family is not amused, as you might imagine, but unlike your first dinner here at the court, there will be no grand gesture of sullied honor. She’s only a girl, after all.”