Chapter 3

Her life had become quite dark in recent years, though you would never know it by looking at her. A sweet young girl walked the halls of her school quietly each day, a soft smile feigned beneath the sandy specks of her cheeks, her eyes always staring ahead and averted from others. Of all her insecurities, of all her fears, her academic mind gave her a confidence she wore as a disguise for her disparity. A perpetual conflict urged the poor girl to always show kindness and hospitality to those around her, greeting and congratulating where appropriate, as well as offering pardon, but also in constant need to avoid socialization; it made many assume her pompous, as though she were too good to actually have a conversation with those around her, only ever eager to speak to the adults. Every class she was the first to achieve, the first to answer, and the first to lead, but as soon as that bell rang she was off on her own, always keeping to herself, always buried in schoolwork without time for her peers. Undoubtedly, Annie cried out for a real connection with others she knew she could never have, terrified to embrace any semblance of happiness in a place like this.

Annie’s father worked late into the night and would often sleep long into the morning as a result, and every day Annie made it her mission to get up, get ready, and head out while he was still asleep. Every day she would arrive to school before she was allowed in, taking a seat outside at the same old bench beneath a tree to bury herself in books. Every day she would linger in class, hanging on every word and every assignment, stretching out every test in her mind for as long as she could, never wanting that bell to ring. Every day Annie would make sure to stay as long as possible in her extra curricular activities, overworking herself to ensure it took longer than it needed to, always coming to tears when that time finally came. Every day she would slowly walk her way home, taking the longest route she knew, always dreading her destination. When she was lucky, she would find a way to stay out until her father had already left for work, having the house entirely to herself. These were the only days she could describe as good, and they were few and far in between. Today, unfortunately, was not a good day.

As Annie strolled down the backstreets of her neighborhood, shoulders slumped down and eyes straight ahead, she finally felt a sense of relief ... the sky had begun to dim. Ever so slightly picking up the pace, it was as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, and though the sun had begun to set the world seemed slightly brighter. So how had he found her ... and why was he here? The faint creaking of old breaks eased its way alongside her, the ancient family car slowing to a crawl. “Ta da! Your taxi has arrived, madam!” Her father’s tone was magnanimous, hanging out the window with a convincing smile. Annie kept walking, only glancing long enough to acknowledge him, “I- ... I’d rather walk home if that’s okay.” “Sorry young lady, can’t go home right now. Fumigating.” The words struck a cord, causing Annie to freeze in her tracks; the car jerked to a halt beside her. “ ... Fumigating?” “Yeah, sweetie. I left you a note, didn’t you see it?” His eyes never left her, though they weren’t glassy like usual, and his words were concise and coherent without a hint of slur. “ ... Don’t you need to get to work?” She winced at the thought of not knowing where he wanted to take her, but maybe ... since he seemed sober ... it would be okay. He even smiled sincerely. “It’s all in the note, sweetie. Told ‘em I’d be a little late to make sure my little girl didn’t get gassed. Hop in, we’ll get food first.” Begrudgingly, and without any alternative, Annie got in the car with her father, and the two drove off.

The young girl and her father spent the next hour together, first stopping at the same old sandwich shop her parents always use to take her when she was little. Things had changed since Annie’s mother left, and the monster her father had become had left scars in her that would never heal, but at the end of the day he was still her father, and part of her deep down longed for moments like this. It’s not that she forgave him for what he did to her, or had made herself forget ... it’s not even as if she loved him ... but it reminded her of a time when she did, a time before she knew what he was. Was it wrong for her to find some semblance of joy with the man she called her father after all that had happened? Was it okay for part of her to want this when so much of her was filled with fear? Annie didn’t know any of these answers and was doubtful she ever would, but she embraced what little she had. As the two of them ate her father did what he could to reminisce with his daughter, falling back on small talk when that lost momentum. It’s not as if she refused to talk to him, she had simply forgotten how to. Annie and her father finished eating, got back in the car, and once more were on their way.

Little was said as they traveled, Annie relaxing enough to open up ever so slightly, “So ... where are we staying?” Her words made him smile, “I’ve got to make a quick stop on the way, but after that I set us up in a nice little hotel. Should only be a night or so.” The two fell silent again, but the air about them had mostly diffused of its tension. After a few more minutes of quiet Annie’s father pulled in to get gas, letting it fill as he began to head inside. “You want anything, honey?” Annie shook her head, offering a slight smile. To this day she’s unsure if it was genuine. It had been a while since the pump cut off, and by the time her father finally got back in the car something had changed in him. He was still friendly, offering that chummy nature he always had a gift for, but he was holding a brown bag along with a plastic one filled with snacks, and his eyes had begun to glisten. “So sweetie ... ready ta go?” A ‘friendly’ and firm hand slapped down onto Annie’s thigh and her blood ran cold, a light shiver shooting up her spine. Annie looked away, and the two drove off.

By the time the two of them arrived at the hotel her father had taken more than a few good swigs from the brown bag, and he had begun to resemble the version of him she had grown all too familiar with. Annie was no longer okay with any of this, but she felt she had no choice but to follow him into the hotel; he tossed the brown bag as they entered. One thing Annie did notice was that her father wasn’t lying about the place being nice. The hotel was quite clean, nothing ritzy but hardly uncomfortable, and the lady at the reception desk seemed nice. Mr. Kaufman did what he could to sober up in front of the nice woman, letting her know about their reservation and paying. He stood too close to Annie, and when the receptionist turned to gather up their room key and niceties the young woman felt her father’s hand firmly gripping the cheek of her ass. Shivers so fierce she had to fight to hide them, but he stopped as soon as the receptionist began to turn back around. Tears began to swell in Annie’s eyes on their way to the room, but she dared not show them. “Oooh, Annie. There’s a pool. I packed your bathing suit.” Her father gestured towards the pool door as they passed by, “You’re fourteen now, right? Old enough to go on your own. Bet you’re excited.” His chuckle made it clear he was oblivious to how uncomfortable he’d made her, something Annie preferred.

The room was cold, kept almost uncomfortably chilly, but at least it was clean ... maybe it was just her company that gave her chills. Annie was quick to head towards the restroom, in hopes she could fake stomach cramps long enough that her father would have to leave for work before she was out ... but he had other plans. A strong arm snaked its way around Annie’s waist and pulled her close from the back, her father’s alcohol laced breath burning hot on her neck, his body pressing against her, “I gotta head ta work soon, ya sure you’ll be okay on yer own?” Annie froze like a statue, her body unable to move and her mind screaming for him to leave, but she managed a meager “Y-yes...” Her father slid his hand to her small breast, squeezing almost painfully, his hips pressing tighter. “ ... You look so much like her...” In a moment of adrenaline Annie slipped away and bolted into the restroom, slamming the door behind her and locking it. Before giving him a chance to question it, Annie’s fear expelled itself through tone with disguised words, “S-sorry, dad! Cramps, I think I got it!” There was a pause, the cruel silence sheer enough to allow the faint creaking of the bathroom door to be heard as her father leaned against the outside of it, “ ... You need anything, sweetie? I can wait.” She gulped, “N-no, it’s fine! Don’t want you being too late for work! See you later. Love you!” Silence once more, finally broken by a heavy sigh and drained tone, “ ... Right. Love you too, Annie. See you tonight.” With that her father left, and it wasn’t until she heard the room door shut that Annie could finally breath.

The next few hours of impending dread plagued Annie’s mind like torture. Most certainly the young girl could leave, running away in hopes of never being found again, never having to face him again ... but it wouldn’t be her first attempt. If wasn’t as if Annie’s father had an abundance of resources, no great influence or deep connections useful for finding somebody, but he knew his daughter better than she liked to admit, and he probably knew the area better. Besides, it’s not like the police are going to doubt such a charming, hard working father looking for his missing daughter, lost and alone far from her home. Even if she did escape, somehow get far away where he’d never find her ... what was left? Annie had nothing and nobody to help her, and staying with her father was the only hope she could see for any sort of future. One day she would move on and forget him, losing herself in a world of liberating success that would put everything that came before behind her for good. It was going to be a long night, though ... and that future was still a long way off.

It might not have been the most comforting place, but the hot water worked, and for just a little while the teen was able to lose herself in a long and steamy shower. As the near scalding water traced every contour of her skin Annie felt like the troubles of her world were melting away, each passing moments her tense muscles and lingering stress relieving little by little until soon very little was left. Twisting knobs relinquished soft squeaks to echo through the porcelain alcove, the water ceasing and trickling to a rapidly draining pool at Annie’s feet. The room was so quiet now. So lonely, so lifeless ... but peaceful. The teen enveloped herself in an admittedly plush and comforting white towel, taking a moment to appreciate such a minuscule nicety. A few more squeaks to unveil herself from the mirror’s fog, and Annie gazed upon her reflection longingly. When was the last time she really looked at herself, more than just a quick glance on her way out? The young woman barely even recognized herself as she stared, but something kept her transfixed upon the blonde girl in the mirror ... she was pretty. Annie never did much to present herself, having little desire or reason to waste time just to draw attention, nor did she think she ever had much to offer when it came to her looks ... but tonight, in this bleak and hopeless vacancy of darkness ... she really liked the way she looked.