Chapter 1

The SS Minnow, a rust-bucket masquerading as a cruise ship, coughed to a halt on the shores of TVLAND. The Friends cast, draped in hastily-issued togas that clashed with their 90s hair, stumbled onto the beach, their faces a mask of bewildered indignation.

“Where the fuck are we?” Monica hissed, clutching her toga as if it were a life raft. “This isn’t what I signed up for!”

“I don’t know, Monica,” Chandler replied, his voice laced with nervous tremor, “but I’ve got a feeling our dental plan just went up in smoke.”

Joey, his eyes scanning the horizon for anything resembling a babe or a pizza joint, piped up, “Any cunts around here? Or at least a decent slice?”

Phoebe, ever the whimsical one, twirled in her toga, her eyes sparkling. “Wow, this place is so ... different,” she exclaimed. “I wonder if they have crystals and incense here.”

Rachel, clinging to Ross’s arm, her voice trembling, whispered, “Ross, I’m scared. What if we’re stuck here forever?”

Ross, ever the rational one, patted her hand awkwardly. “Don’t worry, Rach,” he said, his voice a reassuring baritone. “There’s a perfectly logical explanation for all of this.”

Gilligan, his cheerful demeanor faltering, emerged from the bridge, followed by C.J. Parker, her Baywatch composure strained by the absurdity of the situation.

“Alright, everyone,” Gilligan announced, his voice a forced chirp, “Welcome to TVLAND! Your new home away from ... well, your old home.”

A collective groan arose from the Friends cast. “New home?” Joey wailed. “But what about my auditions? And Central Park? And my apartment?”

C.J., stepping forward with a practiced smile, attempted to soothe the rising panic. “Now, now, everyone,” she said, her voice smooth, “There’s no need to worry. TVLAND is a wonderful place, full of opportunities for ... continued existence.”

“But what about our careers?” Rachel cried, her voice laced with desperation. “We’re actors! We need to be on television!”

C.J.’s smile faltered, and she exchanged a nervous glance with Gilligan. “Well,” she said slowly, “About that...”

C.J., her Baywatch curves commanding attention even in a sailor’s uniform, climbed onto a weathered bench. “Welcome to TVLAND,” she announced, her tone a mix of authority and amusement. “Consider this your retirement community, though not the kind with shuffleboard and early-bird specials.”

A wave of confused murmurs rippled through the Friends cast. “Retirement? But we’re still young! And what about our careers?”

C.J. let out a hearty laugh. “Careers? Honey, your shows have been canceled. The network gods have spoken. But fear not, for here in TVLAND, you’ll live on forever, in eternal syndication.”

Chandler, ever the sarcastic one, quipped, “So, we’re basically immortal sitcom characters? Great, just what I always wanted.”

C.J. grinned. “Exactly! And the best part? No more network censors, no more morality clauses, no more uptight producers telling you to tone it down. Here in TVLAND, you’re free to be as wild, as vulgar, as downright naughty as you like.”

She paused, then flung open her sailor’s jacket, revealing her ample bosom. The Friends cast gasped. Joey’s jaw dropped, and a low whistle escaped his lips. Even Monica stared.

C.J. winked. “Public nudity is perfectly acceptable here,” she announced. “And that’s not all. Feel free to fuck around with whomever you want. No contracts, no scandals, no consequences. This is TVLAND, baby! Where the only rule is to have fun.”

She jumped down from the bench. “Now,” she said, clapping her hands, “let’s get you settled into your new digs. You guys scored a prime beachfront mansion, courtesy of your ten-season run. So, grab your togas, head down to the beach, and get ready to party like it’s 1994!”

The Friends cast, their shock giving way to excitement, exchanged glances. This was TVLAND? A place where they could curse, fuck, and walk around naked? It sounded too good to be true.

As they followed C.J., their togas flapping, a sense of liberation washed over them. They were free.

C.J., with a wink, slipped away and found Gilligan on the bridge, his brow furrowed over a faded tourist map.

“Gilligan,” she purred, her voice a silken caress.

Gilligan turned, his eyes widening as C.J. shed her uniform, revealing a skimpy red thong. “C.J.!” he gasped. “What are you doing?”

C.J. sauntered towards him. “Just making sure my captain is well taken care of,” she murmured, her voice husky.

She placed her hands on his chest, her fingers tracing his muscles. Gilligan’s breath hitched.

C.J. leaned in. “I’ll be back soon,” she whispered, her breath warm against his skin. “But in the meantime...”

She slipped her hand beneath his toga, finding his cock, already stiff. She stroked him gently. Gilligan groaned, his hands reaching for her hips.

“Easy, Gilligan,” she purred, squeezing his cock. “I’ll be back for more later. Keep this warm for me.”

With a wink, she turned and headed back down the gangway, her bare ass swaying. Gilligan watched her go, his cock throbbing.