Chapter 1: My Dilemma

One of the strongest “rules” in my family is that we don’t tell people outside our family about what goes on between us, at least sexually. For better or worse, incest is technically illegal (what a stupid law) and if nothing else, socially taboo, so any “revelations” would likely cause some pretty severe problems for all of us. Face it, “fucking my dad” is not a resume builder if you’re a teacher!

Because of all this, I’ve always said that I would not tell any boyfriend about my dad fucking me until after the guy proposes to me. According to my “plan”, once he did it would be a condition of my acceptance of his proposal that my relationships with my family be allowed to continue after marriage. Of course, that would mean he could join in as well so it isn’t like it is just for me.

OK, so now everyone gets to tell me they told me so. To be brutally honest, I have to admit that I may have been just a little bit naive but it sounded good at the time. I always assumed that by the time a relationship got to the point where a guy wanted to marry me, that I would know enough about him that revealing this information would not be all that big of an issue. After all, what normal heterosexual male would turn down the opportunity to be married and still fuck several of the women and girls in my extended family - and do it with my blessings?

Of course, it would be up to my relatives as to whether they wanted to have sex with him or not, but as hunky as Duane is, I never even gave it a second thought as to whether or not it would be an issue. My mom was quick to inform me that he made her wet and horny the first time she met him! As for my Aunt Linda and cousin Kristen, they had fucked him before we even started dating. So far as I could see, there would be no issues or problems. Boy, was I ever stupid.

My oh my, how things can change when fantasy becomes reality. After almost six months of dating, I was getting reports that Duane may be thinking of proposing to me. One thing I did know for sure was that he had been looking at wedding rings. With a potential proposal at hand (and I wanted to say YES), there was one thing that I thought would have been settled but wasn’t. You would think that with as much sex as we’ve had between us (and with others as well), that by now I would know his opinions about incest. The reality is, I knew almost nothing. Granted, it’s not the kind of topic that typically comes up in idle conversation, but still you would think it would have popped up sooner or later when we watched a porn movie together or something.

The biggest reason this started to become a concern to me was that the more I thought about it as the time approaches (as hopefully it is), the more I wanted to be able to say, “YES!” the instant he proposes. The idea of me giving him a conditional response, especially given the sort of “condition”, became less and less appealing to me as the reality of it approached.

It became quite a dilemma for me and I discussed it with a lot a number of people - even to the point of posting something on my website looking for advice. While the responses were great, the suggestions have also varied widely and often conflict. As a result, I still didn’t have a coherent plan as to how to handle Duane. My biggest fear was that he would l surprise me and I would be stuck without knowing what to do, maybe even ruining the whole thing for both of us in the process.

The person with whom I discussed this with the most, as you may expect, was my mother. She has always been the one I turn to when I have a difficult decision to make or face a supposedly insurmountable situation. Unbeknownst to Duane, my mom has been drooling over him since the first time I brought him home. Hardly a date goes by that she doesn’t stop me on my way in to ask if he has proposed to me yet (starting with our first one). Of course, given her stand on adultery she would never fuck him until we actually tied the knot so she has been as anxious as me to get the process moving along.

Two other people I discussed this with at length have been my Aunt Linda and my cousin Kristen. They have what you might call a “unique” perspective into my situation. Duane has had sex with both of them - at different times of course. This all started long before he and I started dating and Duane has no idea that I know he has fucked the two of them. It started back a year or more ago when he went out with Kristen after a party. She took him home afterwards where he met her mother wearing nothing but a short (make that VERY short) terry bathrobe. One thing led to another and eventually he asked her out and quickly got into her bed. Actually, Duane has only done my aunt a couple of times and Kristen maybe three or four (if you don’t count the party fucks) so it’s not like he had anything too serious going on with either of them. Duane was 28 when he first fucked my Aunt and she was 39 so it wasn’t THAT big of an age difference, nothing like when she pursues Kristen’s underage boy toys.

After I started dating Duane, Kristen was polite enough to stop flirting with him, well, at least she stopped at the flirting and didn’t go to bed with him. Duane also stopped asking my Aunt Linda out, perhaps because he didn’t want me to know he was doing her before we had met. Of course he still fucked Kristen at parties, no big deal since every guy fucked her, and since he didn’t mind if I did other guys while he was doing her, it worked out for both of us. What he didn’t know, and I didn’t know how to tell him, was it wouldn’t have bothered me if he had fucked Kristen privately some time so long as it was just sex and nothing more personal. Heck, the same applied to my Aunt Linda but that would have been really interesting to explain!

This past Labor Day weekend my mom decided to visit her mother in Illinois and she had to drag me along for company. Grandma had just turned 66 the week prior so we would also celebrate her birthday, if a little late. I hadn’t visited with her in a while but still, I could think of better ways to spend a three day weekend than driving ten hours one-way to sit in a hot house (she hates air conditioning) and listen while my mom and her talked about the same things they talk about every time they get together.

My grandfather, who took both my mom and her sister’s virginity, passed away when I was only nine so I never did anything with him myself. While my grandma never did anything with her daughters herself, she was fully aware of what her husband did when she wasn’t around. The way my mom describes it, she tolerated incest while not quite approving of it. She also is fully aware of what goes on at my house and it’s just one of those things we didn’t talk about. I think most families have topics like that, something they all know about but never discuss.

There was one good thing about my grandmother’s house, and that was she had a couple of neighbors with wireless Internet that didn’t have a clue about security. My grandmother barely had basic cable, let alone high-speed Internet, so this proved to be a life-saver for me. If nothing else, I was able to get on-line and chat with people. My phone lets me do e-mail but anything more than that is pretty difficult, if not impossible.

Several of the people I chatted with over the weekend asked me what my dad was doing home alone without his wife and daughter to fuck. Well, that’s one of the positive benefits of incest in that he had other “options” that were “approved” by my mom without having to sneak out to a bar or strip club. It was just assumed that my Aunt Linda would take advantage of the situation and had she spent the entire weekend at our house it wouldn’t have surprised either of us.

It might help to understand that back in high school, my dad actually dated both my mom and her sister. My mom was the first one he dated as she was only two years behind him in school. After he had dated my mom for a year he started having sex with her little sister Linda, who was in eighth grade at the time. Linda was the typical little sister who wanted to do everything her older sister was doing - including her boyfriends. My dad was a senior in high school at the time so you can’t blame him for taking advantage of a hot little thirteen year- old (she was almost fourteen by then) who was literally throwing herself at him. Ever since then he has been having sex with both of them. The fact he married one of the sisters didn’t change their sexual relationships one iota, something Aunt Linda’s husband eventually was unable to deal with (the jerk).