Chapter 1: A Klutz Who Can Ski

I may be known for a lot of things, some good, some maybe not so good, but athleticism is NOT generally one of my better attributes. Anything involving striking a moving object with a stick is simply beyond me. An evil high school PE teacher once told me I was the worst tennis player he’d ever seen! (So much for building self-esteem.) The only reason I would even think about going bowling would be if there was someone with me I wanted to watch my ass! Snow skiing was never something I could get the hang of and besides, it’s too damn COLD! Despite being an almost universal klutz, there is one thing I can do well - water ski. Please don’t ask me why I can ski on water but not snow or why I can keep my balance holding a rope but not when roller skating. Only God knows!

My parents have owned a ski boat of one sort or another for as long as I can remember. Unfortunately, with their work schedules we don’t get to use it a lot but I love it every time we get a chance to take it out. They started me water skiing when I was little so I guess I learned to do it before I found out I was an uncoordinated klutz who shouldn’t be able to stand on two skis, let alone one.

It seems today not many people have the patience to learn to ski and would rather just hop on a tube so it’s great to go whizzing by them on my slalom ski and show off my skills a bit. Of course, as I got older I found it was a great way to show off other things as well! One thing I love about being out on a boat is I get to wear just about nothing and nobody hassles me like they would at a public pool or something. The ski vest hides a lot on top but guys seem quite happy to stare at my ass as I fly by them and smile. Of course, the fact it was essentially bare with nothing but a small thong didn’t hurt.

Another great thing about boats is they can be a great place for something I enjoy even more than skiing - sex. You can find some pretty private places on a big lake, even on a busy day. For those days when I feel a little more ambitious (i.e. horny), it’s amazing how much you can get away with right in the middle of a crowded lake with nothing but the sides of the boat to hide what you’re doing. Those who have read my diary know I’ve taken advantage of both opportunities.

Usually we go skiing on a weekend when my dad can help with the boat and drive. Most summers we left the boat at the marina even though my dad wasn’t thrilled about it, especially if we didn’t use it much and it just sat in the water the whole time. The good thing was by leaving it at the marina, we could use it without him to help get it in and out of the water.

So far this summer it seemed something or another was always going on and so finally my mom decided to use one of her days off and just head down to the lake on our own. She had called my Aunt Linda, her sister, and invited her and her daughter Kristen along. Normally that would have been a quorum but this summer I had something I hadn’t had for quite a while - a boyfriend!