Chapter 4

He’d motioned to John at one point to bring coffee, having had his alcohol limit. He let her ramble, giving her occasional nods and other small bits of response to keep her moving forward. It was as if she had this great big weight on her back and he was content to let her shed it.

“And that is about it. I knew that if I were to stay even one more day, I would have ended up just like Autumn. I came home to try and salvage what is left of my life. I no longer have any friends here. Some have married or moved away, and the ones that know what I did in California all turned their backs on me. But that is alright because I won’t end up dead in some apartment with no one knowing my real name.”

He looked at her and was debating whether to say it or not. He didn’t want it to come off as flippant, not at all, but didn’t want it to sound corny either. Fuck it, he thought, {here goes.

“You are now MY hero.” He waited for her reaction, which was short in coming; a snort! Wasn’t expecting that he thought then paid attention as she replied.

“I am nobody’s hero. I made a lot of bad decisions, and I will spend the rest of my life living with them.”

Wounded, he thought. Without thinking, he reached across the table and took her hands in his.

“You did what you had to do to survive. That is very brave. They may have been bad choices, I will not say they weren’t, but you chose to go on. I have seen guys freeze up on the field, they lost their lives because they couldn’t make a decision. You chose to keep moving forward, and that makes you a survivor.”

He thought he saw the start of wetness in her eyes, and gently squeezed her hands a bit more, then saw the time on his watch. She saw the time too, her eyes showing surprise at the late hour. He saw her studying his eyes a bit.

“Why don’t I walk you home? You said you live above your mom’s shop? That’s right down the block, and the fresh air will do us both good.” He saw her nod, so he went to get his law enforcement gear back, and she joined him at the bar with her purse. The place was shutting down around them.

As they walked home, he thought about extending his arm but didn’t, not wanting to appear in any way forward at this critical juncture. During the small talk, he was trying to figure out how to ask her out without it sounding, well, too forward. He knew she was wounded and anything wounded needed to be treated gently.

He saw that they were at her stop and he was mildly irritated at himself for not having any game.

“I hope I didn’t terrify you with everything I dumped on you tonight. It turns out that I needed that much more than I realized. It felt good to let it all out.” She was leaning against a lamp post.

Awkwardly, he stuck his hand out to shake hers and was fairly surprised to have her move in for a hug. He felt her arms around him and he reciprocated, then realized that this was a full-body hug, not one of those hugs that women give when don’t want their breasts pressing into you. He felt them and felt the rest of her body molded up against his. And smelled her hair. Oh shit!

“Danger Will Robinson!” he thought as he felt himself starting to get aroused again, and used all of his willpower, as well as thoughts of his 84-year-old grandmother, to slow down Mr. Stiffy. He spoke, trying to distract himself.

“Anytime you need someone to talk to, just give me a call.” He was never so grateful in his life for a pseudo-embrace to end as she backed up slightly, looking up at him. He hoped she hadn’t felt anything.

“Will you go to dinner with me? I spent all night talking about myself. It’s only fair that you let me buy you dinner and hear your story.” He saw a slight red tint to her cheeks, mostly hidden by the darkness and the shadows.

He smiled at her. “Sure, I’d love to.” He then gave her one of his work cards. “Just give me a call,” noticing that his buddy Roscoe was saluting at full mast now, thankful that she’d backed up.

Then she was back in his arms once again for another hug, giving him a quick panic attack, and just as quickly she was gone, walking up the steps.

Coop whistled as he walked, and if anyone had been around to see him, they’d have thought him the village idiot with his ear-to-ear grin.