Chapter 36: Reconciliation

MEL

Dave had walked out. Well, he actually didn’t come home Friday. He stayed with Anne, which under normal circumstances would have been fine with me.

I started crying on Friday evening, and unfortunately that activity was contagious, because soon Cindy, Trish, and Wendy were joining in.

Trish sobbed, “We all fucked up. We should have told him. He should have been involved.”

I communicated with Mary, Dave’s mother and told her what was going on. She wasn’t all that happy with what we’d all done either. Apparently, Bob had later told her, “Told you so.”

Everyone at the Saturday Coffee Club was sympathetic and also felt guilty that they’d also been part of the plot. Sarah told how Jim just about insisted on us telling Dave, but gave in under pressure.

When I got home, I learned from Willow, who’d been babysitting the kids while we were out at coffee, that Dave had come home. I looked around, and realized that he’d taken a bunch of his clothing and toiletries.

Learning that he packed away some stuff sent me on a downward spiral. I collapsed on the floor right after Willow left and started some serious crying. Dave may have left for good. Oh, how I fucked up.

Dave’s mother spent the afternoon with us at the house, and we were an unhappy lot. The children wondered what had happened, and all we could really tell them was the truth: we’d kept a secret from daddy, and when he found out that we hadn’t told him ‘something important’, he got mad at us.

Beth asked, “Are you going to get divorced?”

That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I broke into near hysterical sobbing that didn’t stop until midnight. Fortunately, the girls took care of the kids. I was a serious basket case.

The Saturday night party was supposed to be at Ken and Ashley’s home. I let her know that none of us were up to attending. Later, she let me know that the whole thing got cancelled.

Bob did arrive in late afternoon, and joined our morose group. He even shed his own tears about how this distanced himself from his son.

We had pizzas and a sub delivered only our appetites were just about nil. We ended putting most of the dinner in the refrigerator. That made me miss Dave even more, so I cried some more.

This was all my fault. I had to take the blame for everyone. If I hadn’t of said something, they would have mentioned what was going on, and all would be good. I was the big ‘fuck up’.

There was no sign of Dave or even a communication from him on Saturday. I did get a two-word text from Anne: ’Trust me’. I think that was to signal that she was not out to steal my husband, and that she was working on him to get over his anger. We’d see.

I was awake more of the night Saturday, wallowing in my mistake and self-pity. Sunday morning, things looked even bleaker. Beth and Scott wanted to know where daddy was. My words of explanation did not really sit well.

Dave’s mother and I had a long talk. Basically, the two of us had to sit with Dave and take responsibility for what had happened. We had to apologize like we’d never apologized for anything else before in our life. We had to explain and hope for a sliver of forgiveness.

I sobbed, “If he ever comes home.” That just set us all off again.

At five o’clock, I heard the electric garage door open. Oh, God, Dave was coming. He was home. He’d come back. He’d come to the house.

I collapsed in the middle of the kitchen and started to sob again. I couldn’t even see through my tears.

Dave came in from the garage and looked at me in a puddle on the floor.

I kept saying, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” And then I changed to “I love you; I love you; I love you.” I went back to “I’m sorry,” and then “Please don’t leave us.”

Dave announced in a level tone, “I’m not leaving you. Come on, get up.”

Dave’s mother was whimpering in a corner of the kitchen. She got out, “We want to apologize ... in a big way.” Bob just pointed at his wife to signal that he agreed with that sentiment.

Cindy, Trish, and Wendy were all holding back as a trio of wet faced, red-eyed, young women. I held my arms open and the three of them were there hugging me in a split-second.

The trio started the ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘We love you’ chant.

Mary came over a knelt on the floor next to me. We snuffled and took a minute to stop absolutely sobbing wildly. Dave looked flummoxed about what to do.

I held my hand up. “My turn to talk, please,” I squeaked out between gasps for air.

I noted that Anne had come in behind Dave. They both looked grave and serious, but then he had hugged the girls and said he wasn’t leaving us.

I started in, “This whole situation is on me. I’m to blame. I was the one that insisted on secrecy. I knew you be miffed, but I had no idea you’d be so angry. I know that I hurt you and blew away the trust that we’ve developed in our marriage to share and tell each other feelings, events, and everything else.

“I know you’re upset, and I promise to do everything in my power to make you feel good about us again – about all of us, not just me. I’m so sorry that I hurt you. This is all on my shoulders. When we started, I thought it would be cute to have your parents appear as they did a week ago. I wanted their presence in the Sex Club to be a surprise – a good surprise, and one that you’d welcome.

“Now, I see the other side of what I did. I withheld important family and close-friend information from you just so my ego could get a boost by the revelation. I admit that I took you for granted, about how you’d react, about how you’d process things, and ... just everything that happened.

“Moreover, I know that you hate to be left out of things. I know you have that insecurity and I purposefully ignored how you’d then feel when you learned that everyone else knew, and had for a couple of months, about what was going on.

I blubbered my way through my small speech. Dave listened.

I went on, “I promise from this moment forward that I will be as transparent as a pane of glass. I will tell you everything going on. I will over-communicate. I’ll need your help. I’ll try to remove any filters I have for telling you things. I’ll try to teach myself to know when I start taking you for granted. Just please let me try.”

Dave said flatly, “Did you learn anything?”

“Oh, God, yes. All those things I just said. I never want to be in this position again. I thought you were leaving us for good.” I burst out crying again and then tried to smother my sobbing and tears with a dishtowel.

DAVE

After listening to Mel’s apology and pleas for mercy and her resolutions, I went through the same thing with my mother. She was as repentant as Mel, and volunteered to do anything I wanted in order to resolve things and move us back to normal.

Mary said she drop out of the Club and never interfere again. I quietly said, “That’s not necessary, especially after you worked so hard to get in.”

“But I’ll give all that up as lost effort, if we can just reconcile with you.”

I pulled both women up to standing positions, and hugged each of them. The hugs seemed to turn on the water spigots again, but they slowed after a minute. My shirt was getting soaked on either side. I saw how they’d gotten into the ‘worst case scenario’ that I would ditch all of them.

I got Mel, Mary, and the others seated in chairs, and then the doorbell rang.

I went to the front door, since everyone except Anne in the kitchen was still blubbering in some way.

On my front stoop stood Jim, Sarah, Ken, Ashley, Mike, and Bridget. They looked glum as all fuck. I didn’t say anything right away.

Jim said, “I’m the spokesperson for all of us, even those that couldn’t be here this instant. We saw you drive into the garage, so hoped to see you.

“We came to offer our sincerest apologies for our part in your anger and frustration about the secret of your parents’ joining our group. Deep in our hearts, we knew that keeping something that significant from you was an unwise thing to do, and it has turned out worse than we might even have dreamed.

“We were captivated by the idea of the Big Reveal a week ago. We could see you were shocked, but some of us saw right away how terrible you felt about being kept out of the loop on something that affected all of us.

“Our intent is to never do something like this again. We want to remain you best friends, lovers, and neighbors. Please except our commitment to you and to making this right.”

The women in the group had tears streaming down their faces that they kept blotting with a wadge of tissues they held in their hands.

I nodded. “Thank you for coming. I am not leaving Mel or any of you, although it will take a bit for me to get back on the level of trust and comradeship after all this went down, as it did. I’ll be around as usual, and I’ll be up for some more talk about this, so it doesn’t happen again, not just to me, but to any of us.”

Jim put his hand out and I shook it and nodded symbolically to the others. He said, “Thank you. We’ll leave you to your family. I know they’ve been devastated by your absence and their recognition of what they did.”

Each one waved weakly and stated some greeting and apology. I waved and they headed off as a group towards Ken’s house. I shut the door and went back to the kitchen. People were pulling themselves together.

Mel hung on me and hugged me tightly for over a minute, lest I get away again. The girls were in line, and then my mother.

I suggested some wine and that became the order of the moment, since it was cocktail time. Anne gave me a wink. She thought all this was going just the way it should. She’d speculated what would happen once we got to the house, so I was somewhat prepared.

Anne had brought in the few items that I’d gotten on Saturday morning. She parked those in our dining room, and then huddled with the girls – Cindy, Trish, and Wendy – about dinner.