Chapter 29

The Omnian Voyager was neither Omnian (as it was sailing the flag of the kingdom of Klatch) nor was it Voyaging (unless in some universe “Voyaging” also includes “sinking”). Most of the crew was either bailing water from the flooded cargo hold or patching holes in the hull from where the vessel hit a shallow reef. Now they were fighting for their lives while the old scow rolled at anchor. The portion of the crew that wasn’t patching or bailing was in the rigging desperately trying to furl the sails before the storm hits and blows them into the Agatean coast where they will be hunted down and killed by Tang mercenaries, or worse, be blown off the edge of the disc.

“Ahoy!” called a voice from the dark.

“We’re a little busy right now, we don’t have the hands to rescue our own who go overboard let alone a stranger,” replied an overworked sailor.

“I know, I saw that. At least he didn’t suffer too long.”

“What ... what do you mean?”

“Don’t worry about it, circle of life, eh? Sometimes you eat the shark and sometimes the shark ... I just need to know which way to Ankh-Morpork?” asked the voice in the dark.

“Ankh-Morpork? You don’t want to go there, not at this time of the year, in the summer heat? The place smells like a rotting corpse.”

“Which way is it?”

“That’s on the other side of the world, five thousand miles around the Cape of Lost Hope.”

“How about Four Ecks? How far is that?”

“Less than fifty miles turnwise ... How blows the storm?” asked the sailor.

“Wellllll, I got good news, and I got bad news for you,”

“What’s the good news?”

“When your rusted anchor chain snaps you won’t go over the side of the rim!” called the voice from the dark, trying to sound enthusiastic.

“That’s good, what’s the bad news?”

“There’s a famine in the Agatean Empire, you’ll probably end up served as the blue plate specials.” There was a splash, and the sailor saw the flip of a dolphoon tail and whoever was in the water was gone.