Chapter 18

As usual, they stopped halfway through their journey and Octavia dashed off on her mystery errand. “We should go see what she’s doing,” complained Gaspode.

“Now Gaspode, I made a promise and I’m going to stick to it, ok?”

“You take all the fun out of being devious,” grumbled Gaspode as Octavia emerged from the stacks.

“Did I miss anything?” she asked as Nick got to his feet.

“Just guy talk,” said Nick as he kissed Octavia. Their kisses were taking longer and longer, and each one became reluctant to break the kiss, but they had to go. They needed to see Nana Partridge. As they headed down new shelves of books, the language looked like what they were used to, but the subject matter became highly agricultural, a field of foreign study for a city boy like Nick and an academic like Octavia.

The aisles grew terribly close together, so narrow that they had to take off their packs and walk sideways. As they traveled, it seemed like they were walking for ages and at one point Mesquite cried, “Make her stop!”

Nick turned around to see that Gula was holding Mesquite near the base, forcing Mesquite to drag the grinning gargoyle through the aisles.

“If you two don’t knock it off, we’re turning right around and heading back to Ankh-Morpork ... so help me I’ll do it too!” snarled Nick.

“He’s ready,” grinned Octavia to Gaspode.

Finally, they squeezed through a narrow aisle and entered a dry, dusty bookstore that looked like no one had been in there for decades. A workbench was set up to repair old books and plenty of inks and pens were there to facilitate an artist in illuminating a manuscript. There were two benches and tables that appeared to be designed for people to write, or copy documents, manuscripts, and entire books. “A scriptorium,” gasped Octavia in awe.

“A school!” gasped Nick, who always wanted to go to school.

Nick looked around and realized that he was in heaven. Octavia instilled a love of books in him that rivaled his love for her. He could sit in here all day and repair family heirlooms, copy important documents, translate mysterious grimoires, and maybe (dare I think it?) (do it! Dare!) write his own book.

Octavia discovered a desk she could work at researching spells and improving them and plans to write exactly what an Enchantress really is began to formulate. Out from the stories and tales of the past to the female wizards of the Millenia of the Dazed Cockroach!

The front windows were so dusty it was impossible to see outside, and the door was locked preventing them from leaving, Octavia discovered a powerful spell securing the door, windows, walls and ceiling; the only way in or out was through L-Space, but the spell now prevented them from escaping through that route. There, on the dusty front door, hung an envelope that was addressed to “The New Owner” facing inward. Nick looked at Octavia and she said, “We don’t have time to spend playing games, if we end up owning a bookstore, we’ll deal with it later.”

Nick agreed, then opened up the envelope and read the letter inside.

“Dear Façade and Porter

Or should I call you Octavia and Nick? The keys for the door are in the top desk drawer. Everything else is self-explanatory. Congratulations on your new bookstore! I hope you have many years of joy here. Sincerely,

Besingger Floyd, Wizard. Requiescat in pac, Sectober twenty second, Year of the Emasculated Prawn.”

“Year of the Emasculated Prawn,” gasped Nick. He counted on his fingers for a moment and said, “that was forty three years ago.” Octavia tried the door again, but the door latch just glared at her angrily, so Nick turned to Mesquite and said, “You’re a magical object, can’t you talk with the latch?”

“I tried, but it said it has orders,” said Mesquite.

Nick and Octavia looked at each other and sighed. They now own a bookstore. Nick opened the drawer on the wizard’s old desk and was greeted with a tiny shower of confetti that sprang up from the drawer and a tiny voice cried, “Hurray! You own a business!”

Nick took two comically large skeleton keys out of the drawer and handed one to Octavia. “It will never fit,” she groaned and turned to the door, but when she held the key up to the tiny latch lock, it fit. The dry, rusty lock squeaked and groaned but opened with no more effort than it took to insert the key. (She didn’t realize it, but both keys were Master Keys and could open almost any lock. They were created by the wizard Besingger Floyd and were perfect for a thief ((which Floyd was not)) or a peeping Tom ((which Floyd was)))

They stepped out of the bookstore (their bookstore) and were greeted with a sight that utterly shocked and terrified Nick - extremely and completely transparent air. The air of Four Ecks was reddish brown and smelled of dust, and the air of Ankh-Morpork was a healthy yellowish gray tint and it had some bite to it, some zing, some flavor, a robust, soul-stirring stench that could cause a round world homeowner to sing out, “Who didn’t flush?”

The air here at Creel Springs was clear, fresh and smelled of pine, fresh cut hay, and spring wildflowers, alien odors that terrified Nick. Octavia too was overwhelmed. She spent almost all of her life inside libraries, classrooms, and bookstores. The forests and the streams were too beautiful to comprehend, and the sight of the mountain was overwhelming! The towering behemoth was covered in trees and forests until, for some reason, those ornaments stopped, and it was bare rock all the way to the snow-covered peak, henceforth the name, Bear Mountain. (Homonyms are the bane of the small rural kingdom of Lancre).

As they stood gaping at the alien scenery, an older couple came up and the bent man said, “You must be Nick and Octavia. We’re Homlette and Ophilia d’Marhk.”

“You must be psychic!” gasped Nick as Octavia’s jaw dropped in surprise.

“No, but we can read,” the gaffer said and used his cane to point to the sign over the door of the ancient clapboard building. The sign read “Opening Soon! Big Price Cuts! Nick and Octavia’s Bookstore. Family Discounts! Honest Appraisals! Lancre Proud!”

After introductions, the old man’s wife, Ophilia, asked, “when is the opening day?”

“I guess we’ll find out when the sign painter fills it in,” muttered Gaspode.

“We’re so new here, we need to explore a little,” said Octavia almost apologetically. “Where might we find Nana Partridge’s cottage?”

“Same place it always sits,” grinned Homlette. Getting no reaction he said, “see that cart path up Main street from your bookstore next to the Mill?”

“Where’s Main Street?” asked Nick, who was still so underwhelmed by Creel Springs that his head was spinning.

“You’re standing in the middle of it.”

“I can see someone hitting something hot,” said Octavia.

“That’s the Blacksmith, the Mill is across the street, and the trail is right there. Just follow that trail ‘bout a mile or so, and it will take you to Nana Partridge’s cottage.”

“Thank you!” said Octavia, “does that path have a name?”

Ophilia thought for a moment then said, “folks here just call it Nana’s driveway.”

The young couple dressed like a pair of magicians stopped the conversation around the furnace at the blacksmith’s shop, but Nick and Octavia didn’t notice, neither had ever seen so many trees! And the immense mountain! It was all too exciting for them. They made the turn and found that Nana’s Driveway was narrow, but there were a couple of areas where it widened, and two carriages could meet and pass each other. The term Driveway didn’t do the beauty of the path any justice, brightly colored blossoms lined the sides of the path, birds sang (without wheezing!) and a stream bubbled happily without a body or sack full of dead kittens to block its path.

Nick and Octavia strolled through the woods enjoying the smell of the pine trees and the perfume of the flowers, all the while holding hands and stopping in every patch of warm sunlight for a gentle kiss. Through the trees, they could see the brook babbling merrily down the hill toward Creel Springs and whenever it came near the pathway, Nick would go look at it. The clear mountain water splashing happily over the rocks, tiny fish in little groups idling in small pools, it was all too beautiful. If he grew up here, he would have spent every day playing in this liquid miracle.

Nick scooped a handful of water out of the brook and sniffed it ... it didn’t singe his nose hairs or cause a blackout headache, so it’s definitely not Ankh-Morpork water. He then took a sip, an act only done on a bet in Ankh-Morpork, and he didn’t die! It was delicious! He filled a water bottle up with the stuff and he and Octavia enjoyed the first water they ever enjoyed as they walked up the path hand in hand.

Finally, they reached a house that must be Nana’s cottage. It was a nice, two-story house with a steeply pitched thatched roof, a covered porch spread across the entire front of the building, with rocking chairs that beckoned for a relaxing spell. In front of the cabin was a large glassy pond that was fed by a stream that fell over a three-foot waterfall. With a splash, Gula planted herself at the top of the waterfall and she tried her hand at being a fountain.

As they stepped up to the porch, a cheerful feminine voice inside the cabin called out, “Come in! I’ve been waiting for you two lovebirds!”

Uncertain of what was in store for them, Nick and Octavia stepped up the porch steps, nervously holding hands. As they entered the cabin, a warm, friendly voice said, “Oh my, don’t you two make a couple! Are you married?”

As Nick sputtered and stuttered, Octavia smiled and said, “No we’re not.”

“We can fix that if you’d like,” said the voice, “it works much better if you are, but then, nothing says you have to be.”

“I want to be,” said Nick suddenly, and Octavia looked at him in surprised delight.

“Why?” said the voice. “You’re free as a bird now, why give that all away?”

“All my life I’ve been free, and I never had nothin’,” said Nick sadly. “Once I had a dog, but they even took him away. Now I have someone that taught me how to love, and I’ll fight to keep her, protect her, and make her happy till my dying breath ... No, I ain’t free, but now I have everything I could ever want.”

“And what about you, pretty one?”

It took Octavia a long time to recover from Nick’s declaration of love. She knew she’d never top it, but she had to be honest. “I ... I have a father, and he helped so much, he loves me but he’s not human and he doesn’t understand, but he tries...” Octavia leaned on Nick, their fingers entwined, nervously his lips touched her cheek giving her strength. “I bounced from family to family, nothing was permanent, nothing was guaranteed, and there was no love. But Nick, he’s everything to me now, I can’t think of anything else but loving him except his loving me...”

“Do you two think you can care for each other like that forever?” When both nodded, a match flared, and a candle lit and a sweet looking older woman appeared in the candlelight. “Well, ya probably can’t, but if you can continue to try, you’ll be doing a sight better than most couples that I married. Go on young man, kiss your bride.”

“Bri ... wha?” Octavia couldn’t get the words out before Nick turned her face toward him and their lips met. As they kissed, both were filled with a warm, almost ecstatic feeling of relief, they were no longer scurrying about the discworld terrified they would lose each other, they were a team, and all the churches, priests, flowers, and wedding gowns couldn’t bring them anywhere closer to that one perfect moment what they were feeling.

“And that’s how we do it in the mountains,” grinned Nana. “You two were already married in your hearts, you just needed someone to tell you it was true.”

Nick sat in a cozy chair next to Nana and pulled Octavia onto his lap while Gaspode curled up at his feet. The wonder dog was confused. He could see Nana and he could hear Nana, but he couldn’t smell Nana, and for a dog, that made her invisible. “Do you do this a lot?” asked Octavia as Nick held her tight.

“Weddings? Not as much as I used to, most folk stop asking after you die, but when I see a couple that truly needs to tie the knot, I step in. As witch in these parts, that job is going to fall to you.”

“I’m not a witch Nana,” said Octavia, “I worked too hard to get my certification as a wizard and...”

“I weren’t talking to you, I was talking to your hubby,” said Nana. “He’s the most dangerous kind of witch, a witch with both book learning and a heart.” She saw the shocked look on Nick’s face, “You’ll do fine Mister Witch, just do a good job and the love will come. These are good people, just a bit slow on the uptake.”

“No that’s not it ... We’re really married?” gasped Nick.

“You’ll have to present yourselves to the king and queen at Lancre Town, Queen Magrat was a witch so she will be interested in meeting you, but yes, you’re married forever and ever, and Queen Magrat will supply the official decree. It’s how Herb and I got married...” a misty expression of happiness spread over Nana, and she leaned back in her rocking chair. “He and I got married out on the porch, we said our I Want Yous and headed upstairs.” She laughed at a memory and said, “I was so worried that he’d find out I was a witch, but he knew all along. He kinda liked the idea too.”