Chapter 9

The small team which contained one wizard that wasn’t a wizard because he wasn’t a bloke, and one short bloke who revealed no past soon discovered just how far “not exactly the back of Bourke, but not within cooee” was, which turned out to be a two-day hike. The directions that Bruce gave them were clear:

“Walk to the tree. Once you’re at the tree you will see two more trees, walk to the tree on the left. From there head to the river. Follow the river hubwards; the station cabin is on the banks of the river.”

(Note on Discworld navigation: there are four main directions you can travel on the discworld, hubwards, rimwards, turnwise and widdershins. Hubwards is toward the central hub and its mountain, Cori Celesti. Rimwards is toward the rim, keeping the hub at your back. Turnwise is clockwise (depending on who made your clock), keeping the hub on your right. Widdershins is anti-clockwise keeping the hub on your left.)

They stepped out of the library, which was on the edge of the university campus and looked in all directions and soon they spotted it, the only tree they could see was far off in the distance, shimmering in the heat waves, a dead tree.

“When did you learn to read?” Octavia’ asked as they stepped out across the parched grassland.

“It isn’t easy, but your dad helped. He cast a spell on me that helps me remember when I get something right.”

“He just did that?”

“Well ... I went to him after we first met and told him that education was pretty important to you, and I never got any, so I asked him for help, and he gave me what he called a tutorial spell.”

“I could have done that for you,” said Octavia.

“Yes, but I wanted to do it for you, I didn’t want you to think I was such a dummy.”

“I don’t think of you that way,” she insisted softly.

“I think of me that way,” said Nick, and he was silent for a long time as they walked. They were well out of sight of Bugarup University when Gula hopped off of his backpack and followed along in her odd “now you see me, now you don’t” style of movement. Occasionally she would dig a shallow hole in the sandy soil and squat over it, then a few minutes later she would cover it over with dirt - it was that time of the millennia after all.

Eventually Octavia stopped and when Nick drew up alongside of her, she held his hand and wordlessly they walked together, more together than Nick had felt with anyone in his life. “Thank you,” Nick eventually whispered.

“For what?”

Nick gently squeezed her hand and said, “for caring.”

Octavia couldn’t fathom not caring or not being cared about. Yes, she was a foundling dropped off in the dark of the night by a stranger she in another circumstance may have called “mother,” but she was taken in by a long-limbed, hair covered simian with the brain of a lonely, caring man who desperately dreamed of being a grandfather. In order to be able to continually stave off the monthly Apocalypses that the wizards of the Unseen University routinely start and protect her from magical fallout, he had to find help and shelter for her. Octavia grew up in a series of caring homes and passed reluctantly from one loving librarian to the next, as tradition soon dictated on a rotating basis.

How does she tell this man that if he proves to be The One that he has not one but a series of potential fathers-in-law that he must pass muster with before he can Pop The Question? Would he run screaming into the night at the thought? And why is she thinking about this? She’s never considered this before she met Nick.

She pondered this question over and over and before she realized it, they reached the tree that they had seen far in the distance. From a distance it looked quite dead but close up she could see that it had leaves but only at the very end of the branches and on the tree were two small creatures that looked like children’s toys that sat on branches on opposite sides of the tree thoughtfully chewing on the leaves they could reach.

“What are those?” asked Nick.

“I think those are the drop bears that the pamphlet mentioned.”

“They don’t look fierce.”

“What’s that noise?” asked Octavia. “It’s coming from your backpack.” The noise sounded like bricks being across a cobblestone street.

“I think that’s Gula,” said Nick. “I don’t think she likes them. There’s the next tree.” He pointed off into the distance. There was a tree far off at the edge of sight, but he was pointing to the left of that.

Octavia squinted and saw something in the far distance, but she wasn’t sure what it was. She decided to trust Nick and said, “let’s go look.” She shrugged off her little pink and purple backpack, reached in and pulled out her walking stick, however instead of it being just a meter long walking stick, it was now a full two meters long, a full-fledged wizard’s staff. She shrugged her backpack back on and said, “here, hold my arm.”