Chapter 11: Matrimony, Finally

1985

Hersch smiled as he contemplated his impending nuptials. Not much had changed after the ad campaign he had participated in. As much as the PR guy, Wilson or Wilcox or whatever his name was, said his talks about what the DOT did had accomplished, Hersch thought differently. Both his mother and his fiancée had a different theory. When Hersch said that his pay was enough to pay for a car and an apartment, that was good. When he mentioned that his fiancée was a knockout and that when she graduated, they’d be able to get married and buy a house, that was powerful. Even more, both his mother and Judy said he looked hot. Actually, only Judy said he looked hot; his mother said he looked very handsome. Hersch was five-ten and weighed about one-eighty-five, and it was solid muscle. Considering he was wearing a shirt with the sleeves rolled up above his elbows, it was a look to make women wet and men jealous.

To what extent recruiting was affected, Hersch didn’t care. After the initial silliness, Hollywood Hersch was retired and normal Hersch was revived. The PR guy found some new victims and made some commercials and infomercials about them, and Hersch resumed his regular work. He continued learning to drive and operate different equipment and continued working his way up the ranks. After another two years, Hersch made Maintenance Worker 2, which put him in the ‘promotable’ position. He was still a maintenance worker, but with further training and schooling, he could become a foreman or supervisor of some sort.

Now it was time to take a vacation. He had saved up as much time off as he could and told Judy to give him a date. Judy was graduating from Albany State, and it was time to get married!

Commencement was Sunday, May 12, and Judy’s parents, brother, and fiancé were invited. Bob and Brenda were still not thrilled with their daughter marrying a blue-collar worker, but even they had to admit that Hersch was a good boy and would take care of their little girl; they had accepted the inevitable. Caleb also attended; he was a sophomore at Rensselaer majoring in computer science. Afterwards, they went out to dinner at a steakhouse on Wolf Road and then Hersch and Judy went home to the apartment.

That was another reason Judy’s parents weren’t overly thrilled with their daughter’s choice. For all practical purposes, Judy and Hersch were shacking up, living in sin, cohabitating. Yes, she had a room and board package at Albany State, but most nights she wasn’t there. She was at Hersch’s apartment in Halfmoon.

There were two topics at the graduation dinner, Judy’s job plans and the upcoming wedding. As far as Judy was concerned, her wedding to Hersch was more important. She wasn’t going any further than Saratoga County for work. She was going to marry Hersch, and they were going to buy a home, have children, and grow old together. She had already accepted a job offer at an insurance company in Saratoga Springs. It was in their technical support department and though it was labelled as an administrative support professional, it was simply a fancy name for a secretary. Judy didn’t care; her parents were secretly mortified. Her grades were excellent; she could have gotten a job anywhere in the Albany area for twice what she was going to make in Saratoga.

The day after graduation, Hersch and Judy drove to his parents’ home for a congratulatory dinner. “So, when are you two planning to get married?” asked Mary.

Tommy answered, “That was a rhetorical question, Hersch. You aren’t supposed to have an answer. You’re just supposed to stand on the side and do what the women tell you to do.”

“Not helpful, Tommy.” Mary looked at her future daughter-in-law. She was delighted by the future wedding. She thought Judy Roswell was an excellent choice for her son. She was so smart and such a nice person; she was the daughter she and Tommy had never had. “So, have you had any thoughts on the wedding?”

Hersch looked at his fiancée. He had already learned what his father had told him, that his job was going to be to do whatever the women told him he was going to do. He smiled at Judy and passed the question to her. “Uh ... some.” she said.

Mary rolled her eyes and got up from the dining room table. She returned with a calendar and a pad of paper and a pen. “Okay, let’s start with the simple questions. Where do you plan to get married? Church or courthouse?”

That was about as basic as the questions would get. Judy answered, “Church. We go to Christ Episcopal.”

Mary jotted it down. “Okay, Episcopalian. It’s almost Catholic, so when we all end up meeting Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates, he can put us in the section near the fence to the pagans and heathens.”

Danny laughed. “Is that the way it works, Mom? There’s a fence between the different sections in Heaven?”

Sammy said, “Where do the Druids sit? I was thinking about converting.”

Danny nodded and said, “Yeah, those trees and shrubs are looking pretty sacred.”

Mary gave them The Look and said, “Do you want to find out now or later?” She focused on Judy. “Have you said anything to your mother or your priest yet?”

“Uh, no.”

Mary wrote it down and began asking other questions. Did they have anything planned for a reception? Big or small wedding? How many guests? How big a wedding party? Mary kept writing down questions, most of which Judy didn’t have answers. “Sorry, but I’ve been buried with graduating.”

“Don’t sweat it. You had your priorities straight. No wedding until after graduation. We get it.” said Mary.

“What was your wedding like?” asked Judy.

Mary looked around but the twins had gone to the living room. Joey knew about her... situation but the twins didn’t. They either hadn’t done the math or hadn’t noticed yet. She sighed and answered quietly. “Well, you know about me and Tommy and Hersch.”

Judy’s eyes opened. “Sorry, I never thought about that. I mean, I didn’t mean to...”

Mary reached over and took Judy’s hand. “No, it’s not a problem. We’ve all come to terms with my... problem. Still, it overshadowed the entire thing. Times were different then. We had a very small wedding, just our immediate families, and we combined it with Hersch’s baptism. We were lucky to have a church that would marry us. My family’s church kicked me and Hersch out.”

Judy had a shocked look on her face. “For real? Oh, shit!”

Tommy shrugged and Mary nodded. “Yeah, it was an ‘oh shit’ situation. Don’t go looking at our wedding as a model.” Then she gave Judy a curious look. “Did you ever tell your parents about us?”

“No, that would have been too... something. They didn’t need to know.” Judy said.

“Thank you.” said Tommy. “I’ve never blamed my wife, but I know some people would, and in those days, even more. It’s complicated.”

Mary ended the discussion, saying, “Well, that’s not something we need to worry about. If they ask, just tell them we didn’t have a lot of money, which is the God’s honest truth by the way, and had a small church wedding at St. Joe’s. Leave it at that.”

Judy nodded and said she would take the list of questions and talk to her mother. Realistically, the wedding wouldn’t be held until the fall at the earliest. When the two women looked to Hersch for his thoughts, he just smiled and said he agreed ... with his father. Tommy laughed and both men ran from the room.

By the end of May, the two mothers and Judy had sorted out the critical details. The wedding would be the third Saturday of September at Christ Episcopal. The reception would be at La Roserita, a restaurant and banquet house a block off Broadway in Saratoga Springs, a fifteen-minute drive from the church. The wedding would be at two in the afternoon, the reception would be at four. The wedding size was whatever Judy wanted. The Roswells were a well-to-do couple; Hersch laughed when Judy described them as yuppies. They were young urban professionals, though they weren’t really urban, and as forty-somethings weren’t young, either.

Judy went for a relatively small wedding, at least by the standards of some of her friends. She had a Maid of Honor and two Bridesmaids, all of whom were friends from Albany State. To match them, Hersch had his brother Joey as Best Man, and the twins were Ushers. If Judy added another bridesmaid, Hersch would add Caleb to his side.

Hersch was assigned the task of figuring out a honeymoon, a job he enjoyed. “Any ideas?” he asked Judy.

She grinned. “I think you know what I plan on doing.”

“Using me for your sexual perversions.”

“Bingo. Where do you want to do me?” she asked.

Hersch though for a fraction of a second, then broke out into a giant grin. “You don’t want to know.”

“What?”

“Remember The Newlywed Game?” Judy nodded curiously. “The question was where was the most unusual place they had screwed. Her husband answered in the kitchen. She answered in the ass!”

Judy stared. “Are you for real?”

“I am not making this shit up!”

Judy shook her head. “I would love to see the rerun on that. And for your information, that is not happening unless I am your wife and can divorce you afterwards and take all your money!”

Hersch just laughed. “I’ll keep that in mind. You just make sure you pack the lube on the honeymoon. Seriously, though, any ideas? That we can afford?”

Judy shrugged. “Leaving aside the butt sex, I am guessing the round-the-world cruise is out.”

“Judy, with our budget, the round the lake cruise is out.”

She nodded. “I’m not surprised. Hersch, I just want to marry you. We can do something fancy in the future. Let’s just go somewhere we can drive to.”

“All our friends are going to believe we never left the room anyway.” Hersch laughed.

“So, figure it out! We can go somewhere up in the Adirondacks, lock the door, and come out a week later.”

Hersch just laughed. The end result was that they would hop in Judy’s Corolla and head up the Northway to Lake Champlain. She had dumped the Maverick two years before when the electronic ignition had blown up and it was spending more time in the shop than on the road. She drove it to the Toyota dealership in Latham, and when they offered her fifteen hundred, she smiled and said, ‘Thank you!’ There were any number of motels around the lake, and if they ever did tire out, they could visit the tourist spots, like Fort Ticonderoga or Ausable Chasm.

“Do you really think I’m going to get tired of making love with my husband?” she asked.

“Only one way to find out. Get undressed.” Hersch laughed as he talked his fiancée out of her clothes.

The wedding was on a Saturday, and Mary was put in charge of gathering the Caparelli and Tomasino clan ahead of time. They arrived in Saratoga Wednesday evening, and Thursday she called a family meeting at her home. It was time to make a few decisions.

All the nephews and nieces were running around the living room and parlor, and there were quite a few. Mary’s brother Billy was still in the Coast Guard and was now a chief petty officer at the New London, Connecticut, station. He had driven up with his wife and their three daughters. He had been married before, in the Sixties, but Teresa had divorced him when he went to Vietnam. He had been heartbroken and stayed single until he met a cocktail waitress six years later. Candy was loud and brassy and could stand up to her tough and earthy husband; they had three daughters. They were staying at Mary’s parents’ home for the wedding.

On the Caparelli side, Hersch’s Uncle Andy was there, along with his Aunt Viv, though she was spending most of her time talking to Terry, Uncle Jack’s wife. They all lived in the Saratoga area. Andy and Jack were sitting around the dining room table with the others. Finally, Hersch’s Aunt Sarah had come up with her whole family. The Goldsteins were staying with Sarah’s parents, but at the moment their son and two daughters were running around with the other kids.

Sitting around the dining room table, with all the leaves put in place, were Tommy and Mary, Hersch and Judy, Andy, Jack, Billy and Candy, and Sarah and her husband Ira. “The reason I asked everybody to sit in on this was to talk to Hersch and Judy about after they get married.” The others all looked curious, so she kept going. “I’ve talked to some of you about this, but I wanted to get everybody’s thoughts.” She turned to Hersch and Judy. “You two are living in an apartment in Halfmoon, but I know you are thinking about a house. I am not, repeat, not, pressuring you about kids, but I know your place isn’t big enough for children.”

Hersch shrugged and Judy said, “No, not really.”

“So that means you need a house. I know Hersch has been looking for houses, but you two have been too busy to look for much. Again, not complaining. Getting married is a big deal. So, we want to suggest something different. Have you considered building?”

Judy looked at Hersch, who looked back. Around them several of his aunts and uncles began talking to each other. “Where are you going with this, Mom? We can’t afford to build,” argued Hersch.

Tommy answered, “You need to think about that. Look around this table. You think Caparelli Construction couldn’t help with that?”

Hersch eyed his father curiously. “Maybe, but we don’t even own any land. We’d have to find that first.”

Mary said, “We might have an answer to that. Your grandparents, my parents, have five acres just west of Saratoga. You’ve seen the property.” Hersch nodded. “They also own five acres on the other side of the road. It was part of the original property but not too many people wanted to buy raw land. They’d be happy to give you the land. It gets it off their hands and you’d be paying the taxes and not them.”

Hersch had to think about it, but he knew what they were talking about. It was about five acres of meadow and scrub. “I’m following you.”

Tommy said, “It would be simple enough to knock down the scrub and run a brush hog over the place, take no more than a day or two. We’ve got the equipment, and you could borrow it.” Hersch nodded; it would be easy.

“Where you going with this, Dad?” asked Andy.

“Your mother and I are thinking they could build a modular.”

“A trailer?” protested Billy.

Tommy shook his head. “No, not a trailer. Modulars are built like stick-built houses. The thing is, you get one of them, Caparelli Construction can build a crawlspace and do all the trim. We’ll do the job at cost.”

“Tomasino’s Building Supply will provide material at cost. I already asked him.” said Mary.

“I’ve done electric work on mods.” said Andy. “I can run the cable and hang an electric box in a weekend.”

“I can still do plumbing...”, said Jack, “ ... at least if I get a few of the kids to be gofers.”

“Hold on.” said Hersch. “I’m not saying no, but what about Joey or the twins? Aren’t they going to be pissed by all this work for me?”

Mary shrugged and looked at her husband before answering. “Maybe, but not as much as you think. Joey’s graduating this year with his master’s and he’s talking to a couple of companies already. He’s probably going to stay in New York, but it won’t be locally. We can help him out, but it won’t be where Caparelli Construction would be able to help. Not sure about the twins. They’ve got another year to go. Listen, that’s our problem, not yours. Are you interested?”