Chapter 3: Self-Bondage

Helen wants to feel more constrained.

Over the next few days, Helen continued to masturbate while tied up, fantasising about situations in which she had no control over her body or her orgasms.

However, over time she began to miss actually feeling the sensation of lack of control. She was the one who decided how she tied herself up, in what position, and she could also decide when she let go, although on some occasions excitement and exhaustion had made the session last longer than planned, and she had endured too much excitement. She had particularly enjoyed that. Those sessions when she had felt unable to release and the orgasms had overwhelmed her to the point of being almost painful had been the best.

She thought that what she needed was someone to tie her down and use her as that person wanted and for as long as they wanted: a ‘master’. That would be perfect, but there were two problems: one, she didn’t have a partner or know anyone who could fill that role; two, she didn’t want anyone to know about the perversions that flooded her mind. So Helen dismissed the idea as not feasible.

Alternatively, she thought that if she could at least prolong the games and sessions without being able to decide when they would end, she could enjoy the feeling of not having control over her own body and get closer to fulfilling her fantasies, imagining that someone had tied her up and would not let her go until he wanted her to.

Surfing the Internet, she remembered reading something about self-bondage, about tying oneself with the security of being able to let go, so she went to some of the websites she had in her bookmarks. There she found what she was looking for.

She found ways of tying oneself while being able to let go, although she was already doing that, and above all, she found ways of not being able to let go for some time, just what she wanted.

The way that seemed best to Helen was to use ice to lock up the keys. Other timing systems were electronic or mechanical and could fail, but ice always melted. It was a safe and cheap system, with no possibility of failure.

She also read that it was a good idea to always have a backup system, something in case everything went wrong, someone who could release the person tied up if there was a totally unexpected problem.

Not having a security system in place, in a worst-case scenario, could result in the person tied up dying of hunger and thirst.

In her job, Helen liked to secure all plans, assess everything that could go wrong, and define contingency plans. But in this case, that seemed unnecessary. The ice would always melt, and she could take the keys she had put inside. Besides, she didn’t trust anyone enough to ask them to come if something went wrong. And the mere possibility that someone might find her naked, tied up, and enjoying the situation made her squirm with embarrassment. She thought she would almost rather die than be found like that.

The thought that she had no one to confide in made her realise that she had been too focused on her work for too long. She had been neglecting her friends at university and had lost contact with them. She also had no contact with any of her partners or casual flings.

She reflected that her life had been reduced to work, although at least now these fantasies were making her realise a lot of things, as well as making her enjoy herself as she had never enjoyed herself before.

Once she had read how to do it, Helen decided to give it a try without waiting any longer. That night, she filled a plastic container halfway with water and put it in the freezer. The next morning she put the key from a small travel lock she had on top of the ice that had formed and added water to fill the container. She estimated that it would take at least two or three hours to melt.

Throughout the day at the office, Helen’s head kept returning to the container and what she would do when she got home.

Her assistant Kate noticed that she was distracted and was glad that she didn’t demand as much of her as usual. Although Kate was a good worker and committed to the company, Helen’s endless schedules and overwork exhausted her. Sometimes Helen behaved tyrannically towards her, and although Kate had stuck with the job, more than once she had thought it was not worth continuing without a pay rise or had even considered leaving for another company. In addition to the work in the office, Helen had occasionally demanded that she go and water the plants or collect mail from Helen’s house while Helen was on holiday. Kate’s current partner, a woman she had been living with for a year, had told Kate more than once to stand up to Helen and not let her take advantage of her, but Kate didn’t want to risk confronting her and even losing her job.

To Kate’s relief and surprise, Helen left at the company’s departure time, not staying longer as usual, which allowed Kate to leave at her own time as well.

Helen rushed home and prepared to get her first taste of being tied up and unable to free herself from the restraints. She stripped naked and put on the handcuffs and collar. Then she lay down on the bed and tied her ankle cuffs to ropes attached to the legs of the bed. She then tied her left wrist cuff to another rope attached to the headboard of the bed. She tied a handkerchief around her eyes, blinding herself. With another handkerchief around her thigh, she fastened the ball vibrator to her clitoris, turned it on, and quickly carried out the last step. She put the container with the key into the ice next to her hand and fastened the cuff of her right hand to the rope using the padlock.

She was now trapped. Until the ice melted, she could not pick up the key and release the padlock. She would have to endure nearly two hours of stimulation on her clitoris without being able to do anything or escape the stimulation.

The closed eyes helped her to fantasise, imagining she was trapped, a prisoner of men who would fuck her to exhaustion. She struggled and tried to free herself, pulled at her arms and legs, tried to loosen the handcuffs from the ropes, but her left wrist was bound, and she needed both hands to undo the knots, and her right wrist was held in place by the padlock. Until the ice melted, she could not escape. She was not pretending to be tied up and unable to escape, as at other times. Now she was really trapped until the ice melted.

That feeling of helplessness, of being able to enjoy herself with total freedom, since it was out of her hands to stop anything, to free herself from any sense of guilt, excited her more and more. She squirmed, imagining that one of her captors was fucking her. The vibrator stimulated her clitoris and brought her closer to orgasm. Her vagina was already wet and her labia swollen and turgid. She could feel the first of what she hoped would be many orgasms approaching. She imagined that many men would fuck her, each one bringing her to orgasm, without her being able to stop anything until she could free herself.

Her breathing quickened. Unable to see, blindfolded, she imagined a hulking man fucking her, his pubis slapping against her clitoris, stimulating her as the vibrator did. Helen’s body arched instinctively, trying to increase the pressure against her clitoris, against the man in her fantasy, against the vibrator in reality.

Then, with the movement, the vibrator slipped, and although it was still held by the scarf on her thigh, it no longer rested on her clitoris but on her vaginal lips. She was left without the stimulation she lacked to reach the climax she was on the verge of.

Helen howled in despair; the climax was so close, and now it had receded. The vibrator kept stimulating her, teasing her, caressing her moist labia, and transmitting some of the stimulation to her clitoris, but it wasn’t enough. Helen squirmed and debated, trying to move the vibrator and place it back on her clitoris. She moved her legs, but, bound as she was by her arms and legs to the four legs of the bed, she could not bring them together to rub, nor could she reposition the vibrator.

She began to despair in her search for the desired climax. After much effort, she finally realised that she could not achieve it this way: she did not have enough stimulation, but at the same time, the vibrator would not leave her alone. Leaning against her sex, it stimulated her continuously, not letting her forget her needy vagina.

She gave in and let the vibrator continue to work on her helpless body. Sometimes she felt the orgasm approaching and made efforts to reach it: she writhed, contracted her vagina muscles, arched herself, and tried to squeeze her thighs together; anything to reach the climax. But it always escaped. She thought of her fantasy and imagined men fucking her but withdrawing as soon as they came in her vagina, leaving her unsatisfied and more aroused than before. Her soaking wet vagina, already dripping with their fluids, helped her to imagine the semen of several men oozing out of her vagina.

The thought of being used at will, without her being able to do anything or free herself, increased her arousal and brought the scenario closer to her fantasy, but this stimulation was not enough. It only served to make her more desperate.

At times, she babbled in desperation, ‘Please ... Please ... No more ... I can’t take it anymore ... I need to cum... ‘ She didn’t quite know whether to herself or to one of the men in her imaginary scenario who were fucking her mercilessly.

At one point she thought she didn’t know how much time had passed, but it seemed to her that it should have been as long as she had planned, although being blindfolded and subject to the stimulation, it was difficult to calculate precisely. She put her hand in the ice pack and noticed that it was still a long time before it melted and she would be able to pick up the key. When she soon heard a neighbour’s car arrive, who was always very punctual, she realised that more than two hours had passed and that there was still maybe another hour or two to go.

She became desperate, but there was nothing she could do. She remained in this state of continuous arousal, her body stretched and sweaty, her vagina soaking wet and her clitoris craving a little stimulation, until, finally, she reached into the container and felt the key. She grabbed it eagerly and unlocked the lock, freeing her right hand.

Not bothering to let go of the rest of her limbs, Helen desperately grabbed the vibrator and pressed it hard against her over-excited clit. No sooner had she placed it down than Helen reached the orgasm she desperately craved. Her whole body tensed, her back arched, and the pleasure spread from her sex through her whole body, making her almost lose consciousness. She held her body arched and elevated on the bed for a few seconds before collapsing. When she caught her breath, she reapplied the vibrator to her clitoris, triggering a new climax that chained with the last feelings of the previous one. She continued in this way, bringing on weaker and weaker orgasms, as her body became exhausted and her senses saturated with pleasure and sensations. The last ones were almost painful. When she applied the vibrator to her already hypersensitive and irritated clitoris, it hurt. But the accumulated desire and the teasing she had endured for several hours prevented her from stopping.

Finally she dropped the vibrator on the bed, untied herself completely, and fell asleep, totally exhausted.

From this experience, Helen learnt that she needed to measure the size of the ice block better so that it would melt faster and, of course, to make sure that nothing moved. On the other hand, the next morning, as she ate a hearty and restorative breakfast, she thought that, although she had despaired at not being able to climax, she had enjoyed the experience. The sensation, not only of not being able to release but of orgasm being just out of reach, had been very exciting. It brought her closer to her fantasy, and when she had finally been able to come, it had been unspeakable, beastly.