Chapter 20: Rally Around the Family

Los Angeles International Airport

January 3, 2004

Laura felt numb all over, her brain trying to come up with an emotion to latch onto but failing to do so. Her father was dead, according to her brother, who was her father’s namesake. He had died last night, Los Angeles time presumably, probably while she had been on an airplane flying forty-one thousand feet above the Pacific Ocean. She knew she should feel sadness and grief upon hearing this news, but it would not rise to the surface. She certainly did not feel happiness. Nor could what she was feeling qualify as indifference. She had not seen or talked to the man in more than fifteen years. He had broken all communication with her and forbidden her to enter his house when he found out she had moved in with a single, male roommate when she had been in college. He had never been a good father to her, just a domineering, overly judgmental religious fanatic who had never shown her anything she would classify as love.

“What ... uh ... what did he die of?” Laura asked, mostly because some reply seemed necessary.

“According to Mom, it sounds like it was his heart,” Joey told her.

He had a heart? Laura thought but did not say. “His ... uh ... his heart, huh?”

“Mom said he had been suffering from congestive heart failure for the past year or so, getting weaker and weaker, having more and more trouble getting around, always short of breath just from walking to the kitchen or to the bathroom. It was something that came on gradually, but last night, it all of a sudden got much worse. He couldn’t breathe sitting still, could not even get up from his chair. Mom called 9-1-1 and they took him to the hospital. It turned out he was having a big heart attack. Apparently having a big heart attack on top of heart failure is a bad thing. A lethal thing. They tried to save him. They took him to this room in the hospital and put a thing up into his groin to his heart, but it was too late. Before they could even get near the clot or whatever it was, his heart stopped. They tried for like an hour, but they couldn’t get it to start back up.”

Laura quite literally did not know what to say so she said nothing. The moment stretched on for quite some time.

“Little Bit?” Joey asked. “Are you still there?”

“I’m still here, Joey,” she said. “Just trying to absorb this, I guess. Why did mom call? You haven’t talked to her since you called her that one time when I was pregnant with Caydee, right?”

“Right,” Joey said. “The time she told me that Caydee was not a part of her family because she was either a spawn of Satan or some nigger’s lovechild.”

“Yeah,” Laura said bitterly. “That just warms my heart being reminded of that. So, what gives? Did she just call to let you know he was dead?”

“That was part of it,” Joey said slowly. “She also asked me if I would come to Los Angeles for the funeral.”

“Really?” Laura said feeling her first true emotion since hearing the news. That emotion was anger. “After disowning us? She wants you to come to the funeral of the man who drove that disowning?”

“Not just me,” he said. “She wants you to be there too. She told me as much. She asked me for your number but I didn’t give it to her, just said that I would pass on the news and the message, so ... that’s what I’m doing.”

“I see,” Laura said. “Are you going to go?”

“I’m still thinking it over,” he said with a sigh. “I’m not quite sure how to feel about this whole thing. I have a lot of resentment for the man and I’m not sure I want to go out of my way to fly across the country to see him into the ground.”

“I feel you,” she said.

“What about you?” he asked. “Are you going to call her?”

“I’ll have to think it over some,” she said. “I just got off a twelve hour plane ride and I’m exhausted and jetlagged. I still have clearing customs to deal with and they undoubtedly are going to pay special attention to the panties I wore last night.”

“How’s that?” Joey asked.

“Just part of living the life I live,” she said dismissively. “Anyway, I’ll figure it out and let you know what I do. Is she at the same number?”

“The same phone number they’ve had since moving to LA,” he confirmed. “When was the last time that you talked to her?”

“It was right after the American Watcher printed those pictures of Jake and I naked in the hot tub at the Los Angeles house we lived in at the time,” she said. “That was ... what ... twelve years ago? Well before we got married anyway. She called to shame me about it, throw a few judgments at me for being a slut and a sinner who got what I deserved for being a slut and a sinner. She then begged me to leave Jake, move back home, confess all of my sins to the bishop, and start giving ten percent to the church again. When I refused to do that, I never heard from her again. I sent her a wedding announcement a month before Jake and I got married and she never replied to it.”

“Yeah,” Joey said. “That sounds like Mom all right. Listen, sis. I’ll let you get on with what you’re doing. Sorry to have to give you news like this right now, when you just got off a plane from New Zealand. Give me a call when you decide what to do and I’ll let you know what I decide to do.”

“Okay, Joey,” she said. “Thanks for letting me know.”

“No problem,” he said. “Will you let Grace and Chase know?”

“Yeah,” she said. “I’m not sure they’re going to react very strongly. After all, they’ve never met the man; Mom either.”

“True, but they still should know.”

“I’ll tell them,” she promised. “Talk to you later, Joey. I love you.”

“I love you too, Little Bit. Be safe.”

“Always,” she said and then disconnected the call.

Over at the carousel, the first bags had yet to appear. Jake and Celia were standing next to it, both of them looking over at her with concern. Grace and Chase were standing next to them, both giving the same look. It was likely that they had some idea what the phone call was about if they had been watching her face during it.

She put the phone back in her purse and walked over to them.

“Bad news?” Jake asked her.

“I suppose you could call it that,” she said. “My dad died last night.”

Neither Jake nor Celia knew what the proper response was in this circumstance. Both knew intimately about her relationship with her family and how she had been brought up. They knew she harbored resentment toward them (as well as toward her two sisters and her other brother, all of whom had shunned her as well) but it was still her father.

“I’m so sorry to hear that, hon,” Jake told her. He stepped up to her and gave her a hug, which she gladly accepted.

“Yes,” said Celia. “Me too.” She gave Laura a hug as well.

“I’m sorry about your dad,” said Grace, stepping forward. She did not say ‘Grandpa’, she said ‘your dad’. That pretty much summed up her feelings for the man.

Chase responded the same way. She could not refer to someone she had never met before as ‘Grandpa’, especially not after what he and his wife had done to her father and Aunt Laura. Imagine not even acknowledging a grandchild, not going to your daughter’s wedding. She was actually happy she had never met them and had no desire or intention to meet Dad’s mother now.

The two girls hugged Laura. Mom and Dad Kingsley, noticing all the hugging, came over to find out what was going on. She told them the news and got hugs and words of sympathy from them as well. Then it was Mama and Papa Valdez. Then it was Obie and Pauline. And then it was Caydee.

“Are you sad about your daddy dying?” Caydee asked her.

She shook her head. “I’m really not, Caydee girl,” she told her, allowing herself to be honest. “He was never much of a daddy to me, truth be told.”

Caydee thought this over for a moment and then said, “That’s fucked up.”

Laura smiled at her. “That’s right,” she replied with a little laugh. “It’s fucked up.”

The chartered bus dropped the eleven people of Jake’s group off at the Granada Hills house just after 2:00 PM. They dragged all of their luggage inside and then most of them headed for the bar for a drink. Jake, who knew he would be flying someone somewhere before the end of the day, poured himself a tall glass of iced green tea from the refrigerator.

“Mom, Dad, Mama, Papa, I can get the four of you home today,” he said. “We’ll hop over to SLO and drive Mama and Papa to our house to pick up their truck, then I’ll go back to the airport and fly you two to Cypress.”

“Have you checked the weather for Cypress yet, sweetie?” asked Laura, who was a bit morose but otherwise her normal self.

“I have not,” he said. “Obviously, I’ll do that before we put this plan into action.”

“That will work for us,” said Papa.

“Us too,” said Tom. “Assuming the weather is cooperative.”

“What about the rest of us?” asked Celia.

“We’ll stay the night here,” he said. “I won’t be up to another flight by the time I get back. We’ll get everyone else home in the morning.”

They nodded as a group. All of them were anxious to get home now that they were so close to it, but they understood. Though they had all managed to get more sleep on the return flight than they had gotten on the outbound flight, everyone was still cranky, out of sorts, tired, and jetlagged. They knew where Jake was coming from.

Jake went to the office to check the weather reports. Laura followed him there. While he waited for the computer to boot up, he turned to look at her. “Have you decided what to do?” he asked.

She nodded. “I’m going to at least call her,” she said. “She is my mother and I guess I owe her that much.”

“If that’s how you feel then that’s what you should do,” he said. “I would totally understand if you decided not to though.”

“I know,” she said. She leaned down and gave him a kiss. She then left the room and headed for their bedroom.

She closed the door behind her. On the nightstand next to the bed was a portable telephone extension. She picked it up and looked at it for a few moments. She still knew the phone number of the home she had lived in from the age of thirteen until she had moved out at eighteen. It was indelibly engraved into her long term memory. Did she really want to dial it? Did she really want to speak to the woman who had all but called her a slut, who had accused her husband of being an abusive Satanist to a reporter from the American Watcher?

She thought back on her childhood and life. Her father had been a domineering fanatic who had never shown any love to any of his children. But their mother, on the other hand, while a religious fanatic as well, had shown love to them. She had cared about them, nourished them. She had nursed their injuries when they bled and kissed their owies when they did not bleed. She taught them to ride bicycles, and how to go in the potty like big kids. She had made them special lunches when she could. She had taken them to their doctor’s appointments and dentist appointments, had helped them with their homework. Despite her views on religion, despite her judgmentalism of them as they grew into adults, she had been truly a mother. A mother who loved her children and wanted what she thought was best for them.

She sighed and then dialed the number. She put the phone to her ear and heard it ringing. It rang three times and a female voice said, “Hello?” in her ear. She recognized the voice immediately.

“Hi, Mom,” she said softly. “It’s me. Laura. Joey let me know I should call you.”

“Laura!” her mother said, a tone of happiness in her voice. “I was starting to think you weren’t going to call at all.”

“I was out of the country in New Zealand,” she said. “We just got back a little while ago. Actually, we’re not even home yet. We’re still in LA.”

“We?” she asked.

“We,” she confirmed. “Me, Jake, Celia Valdez, Caydee, our daughter, and Cap, Jake and Celia’s son. Jake has a house there and we stayed there for Christmas break.”

“Uh ... I see,” Robin Best said slowly. “Did Joey tell you the news about Dad?”

“He did,” she said. “I’m so sorry, Mom. How are you holding up?”

“I don’t think it’s completely sunk in yet,” she said. “I mean ... I knew he was sick with the heart failure, but I didn’t think he would take such a turn for the worse. I guess Heavenly Father wanted him home.”

“Yeah,” Laura said. “That’s probably it. How are Aaron, Hannah, and Liz taking it?” Aaron was her other brother, only eighteen months older than she was. The last she had heard about him, he had been engaged to be married to ‘a nice Mormon girl’ he had met at the chapel. Hannah was her older sister, who had been married with a child on the way the last Laura had heard. Elizabeth, or Liz, was her oldest sister and the Bests’ second oldest offspring after Joey. She had been married with two children the last that Laura had heard.

“They’re all doing fine,” Robin said. “We have eight grandkids between the three of them at this point.”

Laura’s expression soured. “Nine if you include Caydee,” she said slowly. “Twelve if you include Joey’s kids.”

“Uh ... well ... yes, of course,” Robin said. “Twelve total grandkids. Anyway, the whole group is over here right now. They came over this morning.”

“All of them?” Laura asked.

“That’s right,” Robin said. “They brought food over with them, enough to feed an army, truth be told.”

“I’m glad they’re there to keep you company,” Laura told her, with sincerity even.

“Me too,” she said. “I would ... uh ... that is we would like it if you came over and joined us.”

The silence on the line was so long that Robin had to ask Laura if she was still there.

“Yeah, I’m still here,” she told her mother. “Just trying to process this. You want me to come over to your house?”

“Yes,” Robin said. “I think it’s a good time for our family to reconnect with each other.”

“You haven’t considered me or Joey a part of your family for quite some time,” Laura said. “You didn’t acknowledge my marriage or the birth of my daughter. The one time Joey tried to reconcile with you, you flatly rejected him and accused me of carrying ‘Satan’s spawn at best, some nigger’s love child at worst’. Do you recall that conversation?”

A sigh from the other end of the phone. “I do,” she said quietly. “And I’m ashamed of myself for those words now. I have grown older and have had much time to reflect since then. No matter what has happened in the past, you are still my daughter, my youngest daughter, my baby, and I would like to rebuild a relationship with you. Your brother and sisters would like that as well.”

“You’ve discussed this with them?” she asked.

“I have. They all agreed that it was appropriate and they all want to see you again.”

“I see,” Laura said thoughtfully.

“Will you come over?” she asked. “You said you were in town, right.”

Yes, I did say that, didn’t I? she thought with a little bitterness. I should have just kept my freaking mouth shut about where I was. “Right,” she said. “We have a house in Granada Hills that we stay in when we have to stay in LA. We’ll be here until tomorrow sometime.”

“Then there’s no reason you can’t come by,” Robin said. “Unless ... uh ... you know, you really don’t want to. I would understand if that’s what you wish, Laura. I would. But I would be disappointed.”

She sighed. “Okay,” she said. “I’ll come over for a bit. Can I bring Caydee with me?”

“Of course,” she said. “We are eager to meet her.” A moment of hesitation. “Uh ... what about ... uh ... Jake? Will he be coming over as well?”

Laura could read her tone well. She would not protest if Jake was to come over, but she would not be very happy about it. “Jake has some things to do,” she said. “He has to fly his parents and Celia’s parents back to where they live. That’s why we’re staying an extra day here in LA.”

“Okay,” she said, obviously relieved. “And what about Joey’s daughters?”

“What about them?” Laura asked.

“Joey told me that they are with you for the Christmas break. Are they still there?”

“They are still here,” Laura said.

“We would love to meet them as well.”

“I’ll ask them,” Laura said. “They are both adults. It will be up to them.”

“I understand,” she said. “Do you remember how to get here?”

“Yes,” Laura said. “I remember how to get there. I just need to take a quick shower. I’ve been on an airplane over the Pacific Ocean all night. Me and Caydee will be there in about an hour and a half or so.”

“Looking forward to it,” Robin told her.

“Is there anything I can bring?” she asked.

“Oh, good Lord no,” her mother said. “There is a ton of food and drinks here.”

I bet there’s no scotch on the rocks, though, Laura thought sadly. Exactly the sort of thing I will need to get through such a reunion. “Fair enough,” she said.

Laura hung up the phone with mixed emotions, wondering if she was doing the right thing. Well, if they start chipping at me or talking about my lifestyle, I’ll just leave, she thought. She then wondered if bringing Caydee along was a good idea. Why not? a part of her replied. She probably should see how things are on that side of the family. She’s never asked why we never see my mom or my dad, but she has to be wondering.

She called Joey next. He answered on the second ring.

“Hey, Joey, it’s me,” she told him. “I just talked to Mom.”

“Yeah? What did she have to say?”

“She invited me over,” she told him. “Aaron, Hannah, and Liz are all over there right now, them and their kids and probably their spouses too. They’re having themselves a regular party over there and want me and Caydee to come reconcile with everyone.”

“Interesting,” Joey said slowly. “Are you going to do it?”

“I’m going to go over there,” she said. “As to whether or not there’s a reconciliation is up to them. I told her I would be there in an hour and a half or so.”

“Do you think she’s really ready to let bygones be bygones?” he asked.

“I guess I’ll find out,” she said. “At the first hint of unkind words, I’m out of there.”

“Call me when you get home and let me know how it went,” he told her.

“Will do,” she promised.

Jake was more than a little dubious about her plan, especially the part about exposing Caydee to that particular environment. He did not object, however. He did have her write down their address in case he had to come over and rescue the two of them from a religious kidnapping. She chuckled, not realizing he was half serious, and wrote the address and phone number down for him.

She told Grace and Chase about the phone call and extended her mother’s invitation for them to come meet their grandmother, aunts, uncle, and various cousins. Chase summed up their mutual response the best.

“Fuck that,” she said, shaking her head sternly. “That woman has done nothing but criticize Mom and Dad ever since Mom was pregnant with Brian. She has never made any attempt to visit us or talk to us or even acknowledge that we are her grandchildren. She can just take a flying fuck at a rolling donut.”

“Agreed,” said Grace.

“All right then,” Laura said, understanding. “I’ll give your regrets.”

“You can give her more than that,” Grace said.

“I taught her ‘flying fuck at a rolling donut’,” Caydee said matter-of-factly. “Matt taught it to me and I taught it to Chase.”

“It is a good expression for such circumstances,” Grace said with a smile.

Laura went upstairs and took a quick shower. She put on a pair of jeans, a pair of black boots that came up halfway to her knees, and a green sweater over her bra. She combed out her hair and put it in a ponytail. She applied no makeup except for lip gloss. Before she left, she said goodbye to Mama and Papa and Mom and Dad Kingsley. They would be gone when she returned. They hugged her and wished her the best of luck with her coming mission.

“We’ll just see how it goes,” Laura told them. She and Caydee then went to the garage to get into the Lexus.

On a Saturday it was only a twenty-five minute drive from Granada Hills to Sawtelle, the Westside LA neighborhood where Laura had lived her teen years. It was a working class neighborhood and always had been during the time she was a resident there. Her father had been a union pipefitter who had made decent enough money, enough that Robin Best had never had to work. She had been a full-time mother until her children had all left the nest and then continued not to work after that milestone of life was reached. The house was a single story, built in 1956, with only three bedrooms, no central heating or air, and a tiny backyard. Laura saw the neighborhood had deteriorated since she had moved out. Many of the houses now had chain link fences around them and scraggly yards that were the mark of renters instead of homeowners in residence.

She pulled up in front of 21152 Lancaster Way, which was about midway up the block. The driveway had two cars in it and all spots on the street were taken. She went up to the next block and flipped around, finding a parking spot across the street and two doors down. She and Caydee stepped out. They closed their doors and Laura locked the vehicle with the key fob. They walked down the sidewalk on the opposite side of the street until she was directly across from the house. She then stared at it for a moment.

“Are we going in, Mom?” Caydee asked.

“Yeah,” Laura said. “I’m just taking it in before we do that. I haven’t been inside of that house since ... oh ... around 1988 or so.”

“That’s a long time,” Caydee said. Anything that had happened before she was born was ancient history in her mind. “Why did you stay away?”

“My parents didn’t like the lifestyle I was living,” she said. “I no longer felt welcome there.”

“That’s fucked up,” Caydee said again.

“Indeed,” Laura said with a smile. “And this is going to be polite company in there—even worse than polite company, ultra-polite.”

“Wow,” Caydee whispered. She had never been to an ultra-polite gathering before. “So ... no ‘fucks’ or ‘shits’ or ‘assholes’?”

“Not even a ‘damn’ or a ‘hell’,” Laura told her. “And no references to Jesus Christ, even if you don’t have a ‘fucking’ between the two names.”

“Got it,” Caydee said, nodding, wondering what kind of freaks her mother’s family were. You couldn’t say ‘Jesus fucking Christ’ in front of them?

They walked across the street and up the driveway. There was no chain link around her mother’s front yard, so they did not have to worry about that. From inside the house came the babble of a dozen or so voices. Laura walked up, purse slung over one shoulder while she held onto Caydee’s hand. She stopped at the door and pushed the doorbell button. The babble of voices within quieted down. She heard footsteps approaching and the door opened, revealing Robin Best, her mother.

She had put on a considerable amount of weight since Laura had last seen her. She had been chunky then—she had birthed five children, after all—but her middle age spread had turned into senior citizen obesity, not quite morbid in nature, but obesity all the same. Similarly, her face, once quite pretty, was showing her seventy-four years as well. There were wrinkles and crow’s feet present. Her hair, once a dark blonde, was now almost uniformly gray. Her face showed what was almost, but not quite, a smile.

“Laura!” she said. “Thank you for coming over. You look ... well ... very good.” She seemed surprised by this, no doubt expecting a drug-addled body with bruises and maybe a black eye or two.

“Thanks, Mom,” Laura said. “You look healthy as well.” She could not bring herself to use the word ‘good’ to describe her.

Robin looked down at the redheaded child holding Laura’s hand. “And this must be Katie!” she said.

“It’s Caydee,” Caydee told her, enunciating carefully. “Short for Cadence, but they only call me that when I’m in trouble.”

“Caydee it is then,” Robin said. “I’m your grandma, Caydee.”

“Okayyy,” Caydee said slowly, not disputing the fact, but not really accepting it either. Her real Grandma was Daddy’s mom, who loved her, fed her delicious snacks when she visited, let her swim as long as she wanted in her pool, and gave her hugs and kisses all the time. Grandma, though she only got to see her a few times a year, was very much a part of her life. This woman was not and never had been. Mama and Papa Valdez had actually been more grandparental to her than this woman ever had. Still, she remained ultra-polite and did not say ‘fuck that’ like her instincts were crying out for her to do.

“Come inside, both of you,” Robin said, standing aside to allow them entry.

They stepped into the living room of the small house, Robin closing the door behind them. Laura saw the carpet had been changed and the furniture replaced since she had last been here. One entire wall was filled with framed pictures of the various Best family members—three of her siblings and their children. There were no pictures of her or Joey or Joey’s children. The furniture was filled with people, most of whom were children, teens, or young adults she did not know. Her siblings were among the group. Aaron, who would be forty-one now, sat on one couch next to a chubby brunette woman with thick glasses. Was that the ‘good Mormon girl’ he had been seeing the last time she’d had contact with him? Most likely. Hannah, who would be forty-three now, was sitting in one of the recliners. She had not chubbed up. Instead, she was painfully skinny looking, almost anorexic. She shared the red hair inherited from their father’s side with Laura and Caydee, though it was a softer red, almost a strawberry blonde. She had a wedding ring on but no one Laura could place as her spouse was nearby. And then there was Elizabeth, her oldest sister and the one member of the family, besides her mother, who had kept contact with her the longest after her father had cut off communication and declared she was not welcome in the house. She would be forty-five now. She had the dark blonde hair she had inherited from their mother and was slightly chubby but still pretty. She was sitting next to Joshua, her husband. A union pipefitter like her father had been (her father had, in fact, been the one to introduce them to each other) he was now balding and sporting a considerable spare tire. The last time Laura had talked to Liz, the two of them had two children with one on the way.

Everyone was staring at her and Caydee, taking them in, no doubt marveling over the fact that Caydee was a fair-skinned redhead and did not have negroid features or horns protruding from her head.

“Look who is here!” Robin said brightly. “Laura came home to visit and she brought her daughter, Caydee, with her.”

Everyone got up to greet her. The greetings varied between warm and tepid. She was introduced to a gaggle of children she had never seen before (and knew she would not remember the names of, or even who’s children they were) and was reacquainted with much taller and more mature versions of the children she had met before. Nobody gave her a hug, not a single person, but she did not take this personally. The Best family were not big on hugging or other forms of familial and/or friendly affection. It had taken Jake and Celia combined to break her out of that upbringing and learn to start hugging people she cared for. Celia’s influence had been the strongest. She hugged everyone she knew if she had not seen them in more than twenty-four hours.

“You look good, Little Bit,” said Hannah after the greetings were done. Her voice contained an edge of jealousy mixed with surprise.

“Thank you,” Laura said. She did not return the sentiment because Hannah did not look good. She looked like an advertisement for an eating disorder.

“Joey’s girls weren’t able to come?” asked her mother.

“They’re kind of bushed by the flight home from New Zealand,” Laura replied. “They wanted to rest up before Jake takes them home tomorrow.”

“Back home to Idaho?” asked Aaron.

“That’s right,” she said. “Both girls are in college there. Grace is at the University of Idaho in Moscow studying graphic design and will graduate after this semester. Chase is at Idaho State in Pocatello. She’s studying to be an engineer and still has a few more years of school in front of her.”

“Joey was able to afford to send them to college?” asked Robin, surprised.

“Jake and I are helping out a bit,” she said. “They’re good kids. Both of them are very smart and will go far in life.”

“That’s very generous of you and Jake,” said Hannah. “Aren’t the two of you divorced?” She said the word ‘divorced’ as if it was a social disease.

“We are,” Laura confirmed, “but we’re still very close to each other. Both of us are raising Caydee.”

“He’s married to that singer now, isn’t he?” asked Robin, trying to wrap her brain around it.

“He is,” she said. “We all live in the house together. Celia and I are best friends, have been for years now. I help them out with the new baby. His name is Cap, short for Capriccio.”