Chapter 9

“Uh...” I internally debated telling Blitzen to forget about having to say anything. I wanted her self-esteem to grow, not diminish. However, the look in her big doe-eyes, after exhausting herself fucking a dildo just to START the mistletoe ring toss game, was that someone took the time to craft a special saying for her just like the one that had been given to Cupid.

I didn’t know if Eddie used the exact phrase “I am a losing twat, A dumb little reindeer cum guzzler, Sir!” every year. It was remarkable because it was an affirmation of my aunt’s status as a loser and took away the power and authority that she continued to have, even as a reindeer.

A woman like Cupid had a natural charisma, and she naturally took leadership roles, much like my mother. My mom wasn’t just a member of the Dick Sucking Ladies – she had risen to become the President and hosted the party. The people at this party may have traveled several hundred miles to be here tonight because SHE invited them to participate. My mom must have loved playing this game enough to host it. What did that mean?

I couldn’t imagine what it meant because she was so ordinarily mundane, vanilla, and boring that this entire party was blowing my fucking mind.

My aunt also organized the other reindeer to pass out appetizers, but no one questioned her authority to do it. She just took over – being made to say out loud that she was nothing but a dumb little reindeer, and a cum guzzler took that power away and reduced her to just a dick-licking nymphomaniac.

I got all of that out of that one statement, and so I hesitated and overthought it. I wanted to say something like, “I am a winning twat! I have the biggest tits here, and I am the newest reindeer!” or something lame like that so that I could be different than the other men – distinguish myself somehow.

“It’s okay if you don’t have anything for me to say! I was just curious if you might make me say something humiliating if I were naughty like Cupid.” Blitzen slunk down and rested on her dildo. The game would be starting any minute.

I decided to just go for it – full stream of consciousness. It didn’t matter that Blitzen was the friendliest neighbor, who wasn’t likely to do anything to get in trouble. I wanted to impress her with my clever response.

“Blitzen, you Creamy fart-sniffing cow turd!” I shouted above the din of revelry, men taking shots and making cracks about the girls. The girls were either waddling about or fucking themselves on the candy cane-colored dildos while preparing for the ring toss contest.

A few guys had their dicks out, feeding them just like pigs in a blanket to Vixen, Cupid, and Prancer while they squatted.

Blitzen looked up at me like I had lost my mind – confused, half-smirking, and intrigued. My confidence waffled. I wasn’t sure where I was going with this. I could blurt out a long litany of cuss words that I didn’t mean, but that’s not how Eddie had done this at all. He had accused Cupid of something – and then gave her a mantra. The thing that my aunt had to say was funny, fun, short, and sweet – probably more than a little humiliating for her.

I was aiming for that outcome – just a little bit better and putting my own spin on it. Unfortunately, I had rushed into this. Now, I would look incredibly dumb if I told everyone to go back to what they were doing. My dad started to titter, clearly doubting that this was heading anywhere meaningful.

“I’ve tolerated you looking at me with those doe-eyes, trying to get me to feel sorry for you! You know I am new to the party, and so you thought I’d go easy on you!” I felt like that may seem like a viable reason to complain about her behavior. She really didn’t give me a lot to work with.

In reality, she had been empathetic and considerate, and one of the reasons that she identified with me was that we were both outsiders who were new to this. She wasn’t brazen, rude, and outspoken like my aunt. Blitzen didn’t misbehave – so what else could I say?

I felt a little guilty about making the accusation. Still, I wanted to give Blitzen the COMPLETE experience, and she asked me WHAT I would make her say. She’d asked the question, and now she and everyone else at the party would find out!

Blitzen wasn’t sure where this was coming from. She assured me politely that she had no intention of preying on my sympathy – which made it all the harder to crass with her. I absolutely knew she hadn’t done that. She had encouraged me to go harder and assured me not to feel guilty about it.

“Shut up, Cottage cheese thighs! A MAN Is talking! I’ll tell YOU when you can answer, Reindeer Twat! “ I insisted. She was a big woman but hardly had cottage cheese thighs. I was just throwing darts at the wall with the insult and hoping it might land.

“You act like I am going to come to your house after this is all over and try to fuck you! I am your rider because I had nobody else!”

Ouch, telling her I was just her rider because she was the only option hurt ME. I was THRILLED to be her rider and flattered. I had practically begged my mom to let me do it. I’d also developed a massive crush on her.

I didn’t mean to say that one. I was in the moment, and as I said it, I realized that it was hurtful. I wanted to stop and apologize, caress her face. She kept looking up at me without breaking eye contact – pitiful and sweet. I thought she might cry.

Where did my accusation that she wanted me to come from fuck her originate from? I’ll tell you where. Wishful thinking! I’d love it If she wanted me to come over and fuck her.

“What is a reindeer’s mouth for?” I reached out and tried to pull her mouth open the way that Eddie had done to my sister, but she nearly bit my finger when she started talking.

“Oh!” Blitzen was excited when I asked her the question like this was a test, and I asked her one that she remembered. “Um, Lies! Manipulation, cruelty, rudeness, putting down men, sucking dick, eating pussy, kissing things that you want, eating reindeer feed, and um, uh ... one other?”

Damnit. I hadn’t wanted this to be a test. I had no idea what the official uses were. Eddie had only said Reindeer mouths two uses – lies and manipulation.

“Being farted in!” I turned around and put my ass to her mouth through my jeans and pretended to fart. The men laughed so loud that I thought a few of them shit their pants. My aunt cracked up and said that I was back to being her favorite nephew. Blitzen was a good sport about it and opened her mouth when I pressed the back of my jeans to her face – but I didn’t really crack a fart.

“Now, say it! Tell me what this hole in your homely fat face’s ONLY uses are?”

She was gorgeous, in my opinion, and I hadn’t intended to sound so cruel. I was just improving at this point – riffing off of what I heard the other men say but trying not to just parrot it back. My neighbor wasn’t Barbie doll hot, but she reminded me of an actress like Cristin Milioti or Morena Baccarin. There was something safe about her- like she was down to earth but still hot.

“Lies! Manipulation, cruelty, rudeness, putting down men, sucking dick, eating pussy, eating reindeer feed, and being farted in?” she listed the “official” uses off, trying to remember the entire list that must have been taught to her by my mom. The last one, she said, was like she really wasn’t sure that was a thing, but she was going to roll with it because it was funny.

I was positive my mother wouldn’t have taught her that it was because I had just made it up on the spot.

“Are you asking me or telling me, Cunt?” I rubbed my fingers under her chin and made her look at me. I shouldn’t have done that. I meant to offer her some comfort while I berated her, but when she looked up at me with those sweet, big brown eyes, I melted.

I had also said the C-word. I had spent my entire life being taught NEVER to say it – by MY mother, and now to find out that she considered herself the President of a club of self-admitted cunts – was a mind fuck. The thing is, I still felt it was wrong to use the word in the pit of my stomach.

“I am telling you that my mouth is for farting in, Sir!” she grinned.

I heard some of the other girls laughing and guffawing with comments suggesting I do it, and someone said, ‘Silent but deadly is the worst.’

“That’s right, and if you are going to be DSL, anytime I see you at my house and I ask you what that mouth is for, what will you say?”

“Well, I would not because this is for tonight only, Sir!” my slut answered – which is frustrating.

Damnit, I should have known that. I didn’t even want to look at the stunned crowd. I could tell just from the fact there were no more cheers and laughs that I was barking up the wrong tree. I was ad-libbing here – complete improvisation. I decided to just go for it. I decided to roleplay my dad and Eddie mixed together and commit to the bit.

“You look like a reindeer to me, someone who should be humiliated, teased, fucked hard, and put away wet every night of the year, bitch! Are you saying that you consider your fat mouth good for something else 364 days out of the year? What is it? Eating Pie and backtalking your boring-ass husband? You are here because you have a boring ass life!”

Blitzen looked around like she was genuinely embarrassed now, hurt even. No one was cheering me – but I wasn’t going to overthink it.

“What are these fat titties good for? Reindeer milk?” I yanked on her nipples – they were stone-cold hard. She didn’t smile or laugh. “You are telling me that I shouldn’t stick a Snicker’s bar up your asshole and suck on these titties 365 nights a year to get some delicious chocolate reindeer’s milk?”

I heard some giddy laughs – especially from my aunt on that one. I squeezed Blitzen’s fat, droopy tits like they squirt chocolate milk for dramatic/humorous effect.

“You can do that tonight, Sir!” she answered brightly. “Do all of that if you want! That sounds fun!”

“We’re going to have to do SOMETHING to liven things up! I’ve watched you fuck that Candy Dildo so long that you two formed a fucking relationship, broke up, divorced the dildo after taking half of its shit in alimony, had kids from a different marriage, and got back together! Your snatch should be redder than Santa’s asshole right now! You get off on being watched fucking that dildo, don’t you?”

“Hehe, yes, Sir!”

“I bet you’d love nothing more than opening your windows in your shower at night, playing with yourself when your husband is asleep, knowing I am watching through the fucking window because you are a dirty, fucking RILF – a Reindeer I’d like to fuck!!”

That one got some laughs – I was back in business! I liked the enthusiasm of the others at the party when I said that.

Blitzen began to blush. Now, I felt more comfortable with my vulgar little diatribe. I still wasn’t sure where I was going with any of it – but I felt less nervous about it.

“Let me see these pussy lips, what are these for?” I asked as I reached down between her thighs and felt her creamy pussy. Blitzen didn’t move her hands to stop me at all.

“I don’t know, sir?” she sounded demure – considerate, sweet.

The reason that I asked what her pussy lips were for was because I thought the DSL had uses for every body part already made up. It sounded like they had something for mouths, tits, asses, pussies – I assumed that pussy lips would have some cool “use” the girls had to rattle off – like “Polishing shoes and acting as a shower curtain when I go pee!”.

I decided to make something up. There was tittering laughter in the background and the occasional laugh, so I wasn’t completely on the spot.

“Your cunt flaps are for holding back the piss and cum, so it doesn’t just drip out after you get nailed! You just became a winner, Twat! Thanks to me! Do you feel like a winner?”

“Uh ... not really, if I am being...” Blitzen half-answered.

“You will never win with that attitude, you cow! Do you expect any of these men to trade their Sexxmas cards for your fat ass next year if you aren’t in it to win it, Cunt?”

No, Sir, I wouldn’t, but could I say something?”

“I thought you were because your lips are moving!”

“I don’t think I’ll win if we are being honest; I know Eddie and your dad, and all the other men here think I am a fat piece of cow turd with cottage cheese thighs. I’d actually like to be a reindeer 364 other nights out of the week. Still, it’s like you said – I am a boring housewife, and my husband would never understand. That’s why I said It’s just a fantasy for tonight! If I see you after this at all, I’ll probably blush and may even look at you with my big doe-eyes. Sorry!”

She smiled sweetly!

Well, Damn! I wanted something for Blitzen to say, like my aunt’s. I am a losing twat, A dumb little reindeer cum guzzler, Sir!” Instead, she said something sweet, self-deprecating, and honest. I didn’t want to demean her and call her a loser.

I heard a few of the girls cheer, and even a few of the men sounded supportive when she said it was only a one-night fantasy. Honestly, I had my doubts because some of these women seemed to enjoy it so much that I could definitely picture them being kinky all year round.

I had never known my mom to act kinky at home, but from what I had been told about how she trained my neighbor – it sounded like she made it a part of her regular activities. That’s what intrigued me the most about this party.

I decided to simplify. “Then anytime I ask you what you are, I want you to say a dumb-doe-eyed, fat piece of cow turd with droopy tits, cottage cheese thighs, and a farty ass who wishes she could be a reindeer 365 days a year, but Twatmas comes only ONCE PER YEAR!”

I heard a few people guffaw and chuckle.

“That’s a lot to remember, Sir! I’m just a dumb doe-eyed, um ... farty ... fatty ... um ... cottage ... cheese...”

Blitzen was either playing the dumb bimbo to the hilt while sucking her finger, or she was confused.

“If you want me to take you next year to this party and find someone who wants to swap for you, then you’ll learn to do better than that, Twat!” I insisted with a smirk. I told her if I asked what she was, I wanted her to stick her finger in her mouth like a dumb-ass and stop rambling.

“You will admit that you are a dumb-doe-eyed, fat piece of cow turd with droopy tits and thank them for asking about you!!!” I simplified – that answer seemed to please her and everybody else.

I wanted to give her a long affirmation to repeat out loud about wanting to be desirable so that next year, she could be swapped and establish me as the boss, but I decided short and sweet was going to be the power move.

“Yes, Master!” Blitzen answered enthusiastically, still sucking on her finger and looking up at me from the floor. She realized very quickly after she called me Master that she was supposed to say, Sir, apologized and corrected herself.

“No, I am your Master, Your Rider, and your Sir! You can address me by Master!” I snickered. No one questioned me or corrected me. Several people had stopped watching by this point because I was no longer a novelty act, and I was just dressing down “MY” reindeer.

After it was over, I bent down and whispered, “Thank you, that was fun!” in her ear. She looked at me with confusion and told me that she had enjoyed it as well. She didn’t have much time, though, because Eddie was already going over the rules for anal ring toss.

“Alright, twats, listen up!” He twirled a dildo like a baton, grinning as the room hushed. “Rules are simple. We toss these wreaths over your candy cane ‘tails.’ Get pinned; the most pins win! You’re in the winner’s circle at the end and get left behind while all the other reindeer jiggle their tits down the street, singing Christmas carols out in the cold.”

The girls booed the idea of singing carols.

He made a show of wagging his finger at the women. “No crying if your fat ass gets beaned in the process. It’s all in good fun. Men aim for the holes. Reindeer, make those targets worth hitting.”

Eddie played Pat Benatar’s “Hit Me with your best shot.” Until I saw five women wiggling dildos shoved up their asses and in their twats trying to coax men to toss mistletoe wreaths on them – I would never have thought the song had anything to do with sex.

Watching my mom sing along, “Hit me with your best shot, Fire away (fire away)! You come on with it, come on, you don’t fight fair! But that’s okay, see if I care! Knock me down; it’s all in vain” I could imagine her daring someone to shoot a load of cum right on her face.

There was a raw sexuality to how the women moved to the music and how the men tossed their wreaths. It was much more challenging than it looked to score a single point. I aimed exclusively for Blitzen, but nobody else did.

My aunt and the other two “losers” waddled back and forth in a straight line in front of us. They were like dummies in a shooting gallery, and periodically men tossed a mistletoe wreath right at their faces or tried to land it on their tits. It didn’t hurt – but it annoyed them.

“C’mon, guys! I am free! I want to stay behind!” My mom begged as she wiggled her ass. I wasn’t sure why I felt compelled to do it - but I tossed a wreath in her direction, and it managed to slide down the dildo onto her butt cheek.

“Ding-ding-ding!” Cupid made a sound indicating a point had been scored and snatched off the wreath.

“Oh goodie, who did that?” my mom faced forward- cheerfully asking who just put her in the lead of the anal ring toss game. She continued to fuck herself on the candy cane dildo in her pussy.

“Nick!” several people shouted my praises eagerly. I was flattered to get some recognition and assumed my mom would be proud of me as well. She was eager to win – although she seemed perplexed, I’d help her for some reason.

Mom looked over her shoulder at me with surprise. I shrugged like it was no big deal. If it was worth it to them to humiliate themselves this much to avoid singing Christmas Carols, I’d spread my wreaths around. I through a few at my sister’s butt but missed. Then another at Blitzen’s enormous ass.

“Ooh, I have such a big target! Try again, Master!” Blitzen didn’t have to look over her shoulder to know that I was the one who threw the ring at her – no one else even tried to hit her cane with a wreath. I am a fan of the underdog, so it only made me want to throw it harder.

“What are you, Blitzen?” I shouted as I tossed the wreath.

“A dumb-doe-eyed, fat piece of cow turd with droopy tits; thank you for asking about me, Sir!”

I was disappointed that she hadn’t called me “Master.” It felt unique and spontaneous when Blitzen used that name for me earlier. It made me feel respected and welcome when Blitzen called me Sir at first. She called all the men at the party “Sir” though – so Master felt like an honest compliment.

I chalked up her calling me “Master” to a slip of the lip and tossed a wreath directly at her ass. “Stop clenching and jiggling it, Blitzen! You can still win this!”

The game was something of a test of skill. The men tried to toss the wreaths onto the dildos sticking out of the women’s butts while the women slowly fucked themselves -like moving targets. No one was allowed to hold still. Eddie walked around slapping asses -including his wife’s ass. At the same time, she waddled about retrieving wreaths to make sure that everyone was in motion.

It was also a popularity contest. The girls who preened teased, and were the prettiest got the most attention.

In a few minutes, we had several more “Ding-ding-ding” points. My mom was in the lead, followed by Dancer, and then my sister (Donder). Blitzen wasn’t in last place, but she only had me throwing wreaths at her bottom.

The girls sang along to the Pat Benatar song chorus; when it hit this part, they interjected their own lyrics. It was like a debauched chorus of slutty Milfy reindeers, and I was here for it!

I distinctly got the impression they were begging to get spunked on! My mom, aunt, and sister sang the loudest of all. For sluts who really didn’t want to sing Christmas Carols, they sure loved singing their own raunchy lyrics.

There was no question that the song had an entirely different meaning to them as they sang along together joyfully – like a bunch of horny women at a bachelorette party.

“Let’s see you fuck yourselves into Reindeer orgasm! The ones who can hump themselves to orgasm will get my wreaths!” Harold joked – the women serving as targets redoubled their effort to fuck their pussies while presenting the candy canes hanging out of their asses. I was shocked at how competitive they were for bragging rights to win a silly game and avoid singing carols.

“Still having fun, Donder?” Evan asked my sister sarcastically. Harley’s puckered asshole wrapped around that dildo like a pair of lips – stretched out and red. I could tell it had to be uncomfortable.

“Just peachy, Sir!”

“How about calling me Master?” Evan asked playfully as he tossed a wreath that bounced off the back of my sister’s head and skittered to the head.

“Land one on the candy cane, and I will,” Donder teased. I was flattered that Evan picked up on the fact that Blitzen had called me something. I hadn’t heard any other reindeer call anyone at the party – Master!

“What are you, Cupid?” I asked Cupid as my sexy aunt waddled over and handed me a couple of wreaths she had retrieved.

“You were such a nice nephew,” Cupid stuck her tongue out at me playfully to joke that she didn’t expect me to pile on to her humiliation. “I am a losing twat, A dumb little reindeer cum guzzler, Sir!”

“Is that lower than a dumb-doe-eyed, fat piece of cow turd with droopy tits?” I snickered as I patted my aunt on the head. I saw her pretty blue eyes light up; she hadn’t expected me to dare to do that.

“I believe we are about the same tonight,” Cupid offered me a wide grin and spoke in her down-home southern accent.

“Only one of you is playing the game, and the other is squatting like a duck, retrieving my wreaths,” I tossed one and missed by a mile. “Go pick that one up, Cupid!”

My aunt shot me a teasingly angry glare and waddled off to do her job. “You know tomorrow is Christmas! I WAS going to get you a new video game, but now I am thinking socks for my least favorite nephew,” she joked.

“Don’t waddle away angry, Aunt Cupid! Just waddle away!” I mocked her as she padded from foot to foot – her sexy ass bouncing and exposed.

“Now, you are getting it!” she smiled playfully. She returned the wreath and observed, “I am shocked you threw a wreath to your mom! You really are here to play! I am not sure my sons would be as comfortable as you are with all this or would even want me to be the winner! I am not sure I’d want to win if they were here, either.”

I wasn’t sure why it was that big of a deal to my aunt, and I didn’t get a chance to ask. “Finalists!” Eddie called out the names of the three women who got to keep playing. He called out the name of my mother in the lead, my sister in second place, and Dancer.

I felt terrible for Blitzen; she looked disappointed as she and Dasher scampered away -heads hung down in shame. Vixen, Cupid, and Prancer squatted in front of the remaining finalists with punch bowls filled with eggnog and apples.

“Oh, this is my favorite part,” Cupid clapped her hands together excitedly as she squatted in front of my mom. Three of the men from the party unceremoniously dunked their heads into the eggnog and held them down!!

Tits, chins, faces, hair – everything covered in eggnog. “Now your big mouths come in handy – every apple you can get your big buck teeth around and pull out of that creamy white eggnog -counts as a point! Keep wiggling your twats on those candy canes, girls! And we’ll keep tossing wreaths your way! It’s homestretch for you sluts now!”

I hadn’t expected how messy, disgusting, and chaotic it would be to watch three men dunk beautiful naked women’s heads in thick, white, oozy fluid resembling a big tank of semen. It was something you had to see to believe.

Eddie started calling the race fast and furious now like an auctioneer. “Here comes Donder’s. She’s got two dildos, two dildos, one in her ass, one in her cunt, dunk that bitch, get an apple, apple, apple, oh she didn’t get it! Dunk her again, put Dasher under, toss a wreath at that pretty pussy, and hit her ass! She’s got a big one! Dimples on that butt! Look at those dimples! We are in the home stretch now, boys! Who will win the chance to fuck our brains out! Will it be Comet, Nick’s Mom-ette? Can she do it again this year and do the entire fucking room! Toss those wreaths on the lucky bitch that’s going to get dogged out! While the other bitches go out and sing in the cold! Think of all that attention, all that jizz – which one of you horny reindeer wants to be gang-banged? Let me see you WORK those pussies in the final stretch!”

Eddie’s fast talk was so lively and funny that I almost missed the part about gang-banging the winner? It suddenly all made sense to me why the women were so competitive and why my aunt thought it was an odd choice I’d help my mother win. I assumed a woman who agreed to a gang bang usually did so because she was a porn actress who was filming it for money – but this was a room full of horny women that degraded and debased themselves for the opportunity to get plowed by all of us?

I had SO many questions! Why wouldn’t we all pair up and fuck? I watched the action unfold as my mother dunked her own head into the eggnog with a determined look on her face – trying to pull apples out with just her teeth.

“Sorry, Sir, this big dumb doe-eyed, fat piece of cow turd with droopy tits is a loser,” Blitzen said softly from below me. She had removed the two candy canes she had in her ass and pussy and rested her bottom on my shoes – like a dog that wanted the comfort of her owner. My neighbor looked up at me with a cute but dim expression on her face as she licked her finger, just like I told her to do when she told me who she was.

I caressed her chin and stroked her hair. “You tried your best, Blitzen.”

She seemed a little disappointed. I wasn’t sure if she expected me to yell at her or criticize her.

“Nobody wanted to play reindeer games with me,” she pouted sweetly and batted her eyes.

“Did you know that if you won every man in the room would fuck you?” I asked.

“Sure! I’d love all that attention! I am sure the guys would consider it a punishment, though – look at all these other women...” She removed her finger and indicated the pretty girls – either getting dunked or cheering on the finalists. “Why would you hate to share me or something, Sir?”

“I haven’t had you yet,” I reminded her.

“All you have to do is ask or just pull your dick out and put it in my big-dumb mouth,” she smiled expectantly. I was so ready to cum!

“We aren’t going to get to fuck?” I asked as I unzipped my pants.

“My understanding of the rules is other than the gang bang for the winner of the early games, we don’t fuck until the tree is decorated, Master.”

Blitzen took my cock in her hand, spit on her fingers, and began to stroke me gently while getting me hard. She turned toward my dick to give it the attention that it deserved! This was really happening. It was so hard to believe that I was getting head at an adult party in my own living room!!

“I like it when you call me Master,” I smiled.

“I wasn’t sure if that was okay. It sounded like the right thing to say! I never know what to say,” she admitted. “I’d prefer going down on you over talking anyway,” she admitted as she opened her big mouth and then took my entire length in a single try. She smiled as she looked up at me with her pretty eyes. “What?” she whispered as she pulled her throat off of my cock.

“You are just so pretty,” I stroked her hair; while she gently sucked my cock.

“Oh, please, I know I am a fat cow turd. The only lie is I have pretty doe-eyes. They are shit-brown bug eyes but thank you for trying to make me feel special,” Blitzen went down on my cock and lovingly drenched it in her salvia. That made ME feel special. “I think you are supposed to tease us, so I wouldn’t take it personally anyway,” she promised when she craned her neck off of my dick and took a deep breath.