Chapter 6: My Uncles & Cousins

Unlike my father, who pursued a high-end lawyer career, his brothers work in construction; one as an electrician and the other a brick layer. Ultra- conservative and staunch Republicans, they fly the American flag and hate the commies. They attend church out of a sense of obligation and love nothing more than to come home and have a few beers while rooting for the Steelers. While not prudes per-se, they have very traditional views on sex and male/female roles. As fathers they encourage their boys to “go get ‘em” while threatening a painful death to any boy who would dare even consider deflowering their precious daughters. Gays are “queers” yet they cheer for the girl-girl action scenes in movies and TV shows - even though my aunts slap them whenever they do!

My dad’s older brother, Paul, is 48 and together with my Aunt Julie they have two girls who are both older than me. My cousin Ginny is the middle one. She got married last year. Her wedding was extra special for me great because I got to go to my first bachelorette party plus I got to share a motel room with Kristen where we had fun taking pictures of each other. Ginny had gotten drunk and went a bit overboard at the bachelorette party making it the only time I’d seen any of my cousins on that side of the family doing anything naughty, at least sexually.

My cousins are all great though and I love them dearly but I recognize that they are just not into some of the types of things I am, particularly when it comes to sex.

Jim is my dad’s younger brother by four years. Married to Aunt Shari, they have a boy and two girls - just like his other brother. Rick is the oldest at seventeen and quite a stud for his age. Kate is fourteen, going on fifteen in a few months, and is probably the most reserved of all my cousins having been heavily influenced by her fanatically religious mother.