Chapter 4: Surprising Chat With My Grandmother

As he drove away I started to wonder if this was all such a good idea. Talking to Steve on the way home had just reminded me of the incredible times we had together and had opened some old wounds from when he left me that had taken years to heal. Like most memories, perhaps I was guilty of inflating the good and pushing aside the bad times.

I caught myself questioning myself, wondering if it had really been as great as I remembered it or were these just the memories of a young teenage girl infatuated with her first lover? Was I setting myself up to ruin all those memories?

I started to wonder if maybe I should have just stayed home and left things the way they were. Seeing Steve in love with another girl was turning out to be so much harder than I had ever dreamed it would be.

In my heart I had to admit a small part of me had been hoping that when he saw me again he would want to leave his bride to have me back. I knew one thing for sure, THAT wasn’t going to happen. Hard as it was for me to accept, Steve was about to marry a girl he loved - and it wasn’t me.

I spent the rest of the evening sitting on the couch chatting with my grandma. It was certainly an interesting discussion as it had been years since I had not stayed alone with her since I was a young girl. She was surprisingly curious about my sex life and at first I wasn’t sure how to respond so I just talked about some old boyfriends and such, same as I would if anyone else. After a while though she sat back in the couch and turned to face me with an odd smile on her face.

“So tell me Kelly, how was it seeing Steve again? I imagine you must have had some conflicting feelings meeting the guy who first fucked you knowing he is about to be married.”

My eyes widened and I had to consciously close my open mouth after hearing that question! My grandmother had never discussed sex like this with me before plus I had never heard her use that type of language. She looked at me and laughed softly at my obvious discomfort.

“Oh don’t look so surprised Kelly,” she said in a low soothing voice while she took my hand in hers, “When you started having sex that she called me the next day to tell me all about it. She was so proud of you and has kept me updated ever since. My oh my but you’ve been quite a busy young girl!”

“Well...,” I stammered, “Mom never mentioned THAT to me.”

My grandma held my hand with both of hers. “Kelly, you know what your mom did with your grandfather and I know what she and your father do with you today. You must understand that it doesn’t bother me so long as you’re happy. I always supported your grandfather and even though it wasn’t something I wanted to participate in, it was wonderful to see how close your mother and her sister became with their father once they started having sex. I have to admit I was even jealous at times when I saw that look in his eyes when they came in the room dressed in their bikinis or skimpy nightgowns. Has it been that way for you?”

We spent the rest of the evening talking about sex within our family. My mom had told me a lot about her teen years including how she had been fucked for the first time by her dad when she was fourteen and then bringing her twelve year old sister Linda to him shortly afterwards. I had been sixteen when my dad first had me and I confided to my grandma that it was my biggest regret, so far as sex with my dad went, that I had not given my father the most precious gift I was born with - my virginity.

The one thing my mom had not talked a lot about though was how my grandma had been through those years. I did know she had never even once had sex with her daughters but yet she had encouraged the two sisters to satisfy their dad’s needs. Other than that my mom had not said much more so this night I was learning a LOT more! At one point I couldn’t resist any more so I asked her why she had never joined in. My grandma smiled and shook her head slowly.

“Well Kelly, I was raised in a very strict home so I guess despite everything I have never gotten that brainwashing out of my head. I truly have never wanted to have sex with a girl, not even in a fantasy so I must not be wired the same way you are. To have sex with my daughters was even less imaginable then and still is. It’s not some sort of moral issue; after all I loved watching Bill as he fucked our daughters because I knew they could satisfy him in ways I couldn’t. I couldn’t blame him for wanting to have sex with two beautiful teenagers who were somehow hornier than hell 99% of the time. We knew they were doing each other anyway so why not let him indulge? I was also happy that he did it with our daughters and kept it in the family rather than seeing other women.”