Chapter 2: A Liberation Vacation

Collecting drink orders interrupted their conversation. Their glasses appeared quickly; they were seated in front of the magic curtain which concealed them from the horrors of steerage.

“May I ask, how much did my seat cost you?”

“You may ask.”

“Lisa, how much did this seat cost?”

“I think it was about $950.”

With difficulty, he suppressed a spit-take.

“Wait, you said, STBX. What is going on?”

“It’s from Reddit, I think. ‘Soon-To-Be-Ex.’ He and I bought these tickets well in advance for an anniversary trip to San Francisco. Two months ago, I found a pair of pink panties kicked under the bed, size small.”

“You’ve mentioned to me that your own panties are NOT size small. And no daughters?”

“No, and no sons. However, if they WERE my daughter’s panties under our bed, I would simply have shot the bastard.”

“I’m glad you didn’t blast him. I prefer that you stayed out of jail. Instead, you’re flying with me; that’s much better. What a story!”

“Yes, and here’s the proof. Look at the ring finger of my left hand. See the dent?”

“Ah. Yes. You’re hoping to get de-dented in the future by some guy? (Cough.) I guess, Lisa, if you need to get rid of dents, you have to go to a body shop.”

The corner of her mouth was twitching, and her eyes were sparkling. There was no other word to describe it.

“I’m going to have to go through my paperwork, Steve. You know, look at my coverage, my deductible, and get some estimates. It could be a while before everything is ready. I feel confident, though, if I keep my goals in mind and maintain my focus, things will all work out in my end, I mean, the end.”

“Alright, you’ve explained my seat on the STBX plan. Do you have any other arrangements set up?”

“No, actually, I cancelled the hotel room, expecting to find something smaller when I landed. My new plan is to find a bed and breakfast place. I think there might be one available outside the city, about 30 miles north, maybe?”

“Thirty miles, you say? I might know a place. But you would have to share a bathroom.”

“That’s fine, but what about sharing the shower?”

“I think two people could fit if they’re feeling friendly.”

“Oh, I just realized. I don’t have a car reserved. How do I get there?”

“There’s a shuttle bus; it’s called the Marin Airporter. It will take us all the way up to where my SUV is parked, and my apartment’s just a couple of minutes further.”

“I guess that means I’m putting my trust in your hands, Steve. I’ll be in a strange town without a car and no way to avoid being ravished by your hands, your lips, your tongue, and your...”

“Shh. I understand what you’re saying, sweetie. But I think the flight attendant is on to our scheming. I think she wants to put me back in fourth class and keep you for herself. How about you have your mouth hang open and stare into the corner while rubbing your nipples? Then we’ll know if she wants to have a threesome with us.”

“Fuck! NOW who is the brat? I know you’re lying. You won’t throw me over for some airline skank. Even if she does have big hooters.”

“She has big hooters? I hadn’t noticed.”

“Steven...”

“I’m sorry, Lisa. I shouldn’t be dishonest with you. I saw the hooters, but what I really noticed was how closely she was watching us. Oops, she’s coming toward us. Red Alert!”

“Hi, folks, my name is Chris Wells, and I have some questions. According to the manifest, you are supposed to be Lisa and Gilbert Alexander. But you two are flirting with each other and exchanging phones to share each other’s numbers. So that’s the first question. The second question is, why are both of you staring at my chest and seem to be using the word ‘hooters’?”