Chapter 50: Breasts or Thighs?

March 31, 1984, Chicago, Illinois

I went over to the Mamasan chair where Bianca was sitting, sat down next to her, and put my arm around her.

"What can I do for you?" I asked.

"You're doing it right now," she replied.

"OK to ask a practical question?"

"She's moving out today. She checked with Loyola yesterday, and there is space in the dorms because students have dropped out."

"Alright," I replied. "I need to make sure I get the key from her."

"She gave it to me. She promised to have all her things out before dinner."

"Is Jack here?"

"Yes."

"I'm going to go speak to him and have him keep an eye on her while we go to our class. I don't expect her to do anything untoward, but I'm not going to take that risk. I'll be right back."

I went to find Jack and found him and Kristy in the basement watching TV.

"Hey," I said. "I need your help."

"Anything. What?"

"Juliette broke up with Bianca and is moving out this afternoon. I need to take Bianca to our childbirth class. Would you keep an eye on things?"

"Damn straight, I will," Jack said, standing up.

"Is Bianca OK?" Kristy asked.

"She seems to be. I'm sure she could use a friend right now, but unfortunately, we need to leave."

The three of us went upstairs, and I walked Bianca out to the car. I helped her get in, got in myself, and then headed for Loyola.

"She just sprung this on you today?" I asked.

"This morning. I kind of felt her pulling away the last few days, but I thought it was because I'm basically a beached whale! Remind me to NEVER do this again!"

"Noted," I replied with a grin.

"Says the man whose entire contribution was a tablespoon of genetic material delivered in about fifteen minutes!"

"Are you forgetting the scores of attempts before the successful one?" I asked.

"Yes, but those weren't contributions to my current situation! It's like counting batting practice in a player's batting average!"

"Did I miss you being this cranky before today?"

"Yes, because I mostly bitched to Juliette, Kristy, and CeCi. Deanna was singularly uninterested in hearing me bitch about what she called a self-inflicted condition!"

"She has a point," I teased.

"Excuse me?!" Bianca growled. "YOU inflicted this on me!"

"It takes two to tango, Chica!" I chuckled.

"That's Argentinian, not Mexican!"

"I see my pedantry is rubbing off on you! Is it really that bad?"

"My back hurts, my feet are swollen, my boobs hurt, I'm tired, and I have to pee about every five seconds because YOUR daughter is sitting on my bladder."

"Now she's my daughter? Not ours?"

"Our daughter is lovely; your daughter is a troublemaker!"

"Nice. So this is how it's going to be?"

"Of course! But you know I'm teasing."

"I do. I hate to pile on bad news, but I found out Bev's goal with the deposition is to have my securities licenses revoked."

"«Pinche puta»!" Bianca growled. ("That fucking bitch!")

"You must be angry," I said. "You never swear in Spanish, at least around me. Did you call her a 'bitch'?"

"A fucking bitch! Now what?"

"I spoke to Thomas Hart, and he has a strategy. I think it will work, but it'll be ugly, and the end result will be Bev losing Heather for good."

"Whoa!"

"She's trying to take revenge by reporting me to the SEC, and she wants me on record for lying to the cops in Overland Park and misrepresenting myself as Heather's dad both there and in North Dakota. If there is nothing on the record, Thomas Hart can very likely make a complaint go away. If it's on the record, then it could get very ugly for me.

"To prevent that, he's going to challenge the deposition as being purely vindictive and subpoena Bev as a witness. If she refuses to come here to testify, the entire thing will be over. If she does, he'll put her on the stand and expose her as completely unhinged, unstable, erratic, and in need of psychiatric care."

"What a crazy bitch!" Bianca declared. "Or should I say that in Spanish?"

"I have heard you say maybe three dozen words in Spanish, almost all to your grandmother. Why now?"

"Probably because I'm emotional, nervous, cranky, and generally uncomfortable. Remember, I mostly spoke Spanish before I started first grade, and it comes back when I'm stressed or emotional."

"You were bilingual then, right?"

"Yes, but my Spanish was far better than my English. That changed, and by fifth grade, they were about equal. Now, my English is far better, even though I can converse in Spanish. When is all this going to happen?"

"There's a hearing on the afternoon of the 10th. The first thing will be on Gwen's motion to prevent the deposition. If that fails, Thomas Hart will request an emergency temporary restraining order based on the fact that the deposition is purely vindictive. He believes he'll get that, and then he'll demand Bev appear so he can question her. I'm positive she'll come here because she's lashing out. Her options are limited now — reconcile with her parents and get Heather back in the near future, or ruin my life. Guess which one she chose?"

"That's insane."

"Exactly."

Our childbirth class went through all the possible complications of labor and delivery and what to expect if they should happen. I found the entire discussion fascinating, as I had literally no idea just how many things might go wrong and how they could go wrong. Obviously, I hoped we experienced none of them, but being prepared was key to understanding our options, if any of the problems arose.

"Will you be OK at home if I do the grocery shopping?" I asked Bianca when we arrived home.

"Yes. Kristy will be here. She and Jack aren't going out tonight, so you don't need to rush. Would you sleep in my bed with me until I deliver? I don't believe Deanna or CeCi will object."

"I'm sure they won't. And yes, I will. It'll be interesting."

"Sleeping next to a mountain?" Bianca asked.

"It'll be an all-new experience for me."

I parked in the driveway and helped Bianca into the house. Once I was inside, I checked with Jack, who said Juliette had moved all of her things without incident and wasn't planning to return. I thanked him, then went to find Deanna so we could do the grocery shopping.

"Bianca asked me to sleep in her bed with her until she delivers," I said.

"She's entitled!" Deanna declared. "I know she's been uncomfortable, and after Juliette pulled her stunt, I get it."

"Bianca indicated you had no sympathy," I said.

"You can take that to the bank! She did that to herself!"

"With my help!" I countered.

"I've had plenty of similar help, and I'm not in that condition and have no intention of ever being!"

"Excuse me for turning this serious, but that seems like a change in your thinking. You at least held it out as a possibility."

"I don't think I'm cut out to be a mom. This past year has shown me what it's like to be free to be myself and do what is important to me. A kid would take that away for eighteen years, at least. It also leaves me free to structure my relationships in any way I see fit. You and I discussed that a few weeks ago, and you know my ideal situation."

"Yes, I do, and for the foreseeable future, you and I will have that. What happens long-term remains to be seen, though I will be your patron whether or not we continue our physical relationship."

"Speaking of 'physical relationship', on Friday, will you and CeCi come to the condo instead of going out with Jack and Kristy?"

"Yes. We can order food."

"I'll take care of that. I'll also make sure there are towels, soap, and TP there. You keep a bag of spare clothes in your trunk, right?"

"Yes."

"What do you think about my suggestion for that? CeCi and I both are adamant that it has to be totally up to you. We'll be happy with whatever you want."

"I did say I could see my way clear, with the two of you, to your over-the-top request."

"You still have a week to think about it," Deanna said. "We don't want you to do something you'll regret."

"I understand. You said we'd each take the other around the world, and I'm OK with that. Just remember I need to be at least semi-coherent on Saturday morning for breakfast with Violet and for class. In addition, I have Hawks tickets for Saturday evening and Sox tickets for Sunday afternoon."

"I think we can make that work. On a similar topic, I'm positive Stefi will want to see you again."

"That doesn't surprise me, but next weekend is crazy, and there's the chance that Bianca will deliver at any time after Monday. So, if she asks, we'll have to figure out when."

"She's just a fun fling, right?"

"Yes. As she said to her friend Tara, she's not done playing with her new toy just yet."

"It is a fun toy!" Deanna declared. "But it's more than that. I would never have believed it, but sex is better with someone who cares deeply for you."

"I made a similar comment to Marcia this week."

"She's still interested?"

"Yes, but she and I never clicked. It's like with Ellie. I can be friends and can collaborate with them, but being lovers sends the wrong message."

"Speaking of messages, you never said what happened with Teri."

"I called her out on her motivation, and she became upset with me."

Deanna laughed, "Her entire goal was to have you fuck her brains out, but she had to satisfy her own conditions before that could happen."

"You knew?"

"Remember what I said about clues? Teri might not realize it, but it was obvious she wanted to fuck you. That was her entire point of trying to find a way to get you to marry her — she could only fuck you if you married her."

"How long have you known?"

"From before you asked Keiko to marry you. Teri looked at you like a lioness eyeing a zebra. And she tried everything she could to orchestrate a wedding night with you. But, to be a bit crude, the bait she was dangling was nowhere good enough. How did you figure it out?"

"Analysis and process of elimination. I didn't get the idea she was a gold digger, and I didn't get the signal that she was hopelessly in love with me. The only other reason I could fathom that would have her pursue me so relentlessly was that she wanted to fuck. And that's what I told her."

"You weren't out late enough for that to have happened."

"Even if she had admitted it, I wouldn't have because I'm not ready to lay out the terms of a relationship. If I can't do that for Violet, I can't do it for anyone."

"Now there is someone hopelessly in love with you."

"I know. That complicates things, as does the solution you helped me craft. In any event, I told Teri to go back to UofI and to only call me if she wants to fuck with no terms, promises, or commitments."

"Do you think she'll call?"

"Do you?"

"She clearly wants to, but she spent six months doing everything she could to rope you in, when her best option was to go to bed with you and hope you chose her over Keiko. I don't think you would have, but that truly was Teri's only chance. She had to know it, too."

"I suspect you're right, given all the things she said and did. But I'd have turned her down because I knew what it would have meant. If she was going to take the 'fuck and see' approach, it had to be before I knew about her determination to wait until she was married. But that was a Catch-22 because she couldn't until we'd had the discussion, at which point I put it off limits."

"Keiko was going to win, anyway," Deanna said. "I don't think Teri understood that at first."

"She didn't. It was when Keiko received her diagnosis that Teri realized she held the losing hand. That's when she began probing for an opening."

"Isn't that what SHE wanted you to do?" Deanna smirked.

I laughed, "Yes, but I meant a way to achieve her goal with some sort of guarantee of a relationship."

I pulled into the lot at Jewel, which meant our conversation had to shift to more mundane things. After shopping, we went to the dry cleaner, and when we returned home, Deana and I prepared dinner. After dinner, I spent the evening with my housemates watching TV, then went to Bianca's room with her.

"How do you sleep?" I asked.

"Either on my back or my side," Bianca said. "I think on my side, and you can spoon behind me."

"Are we wearing pyjamas and a nightgown?"

"Naked, please. Well, assuming that won't cause you to be in an uncomfortable state."

"It won't. Posing nude has actually helped me in that way."

"You never got hard posing?"

"No. Not even in the office where we changed. It was weird, actually. I mean, in one pose, I was cupping her breasts, and while it was nice, it didn't feel sexual. Maybe it was guys being in the room, but I don't think it was only that."

We undressed and got into bed, with Bianca lying on her side and me behind her with my body pressed against hers and my arm around her.

"Thank you," Bianca sighed.

"You're welcome."

April 1, 1984, Chicago, Illinois

"This is very strange!" I said to Bianca as we showered on Sunday morning.

"You had your arms around me in Deanna's studio!"

"Yes, I did, but washing your body is more intimate, and thinking about our daughter in your womb is just ... awe-inspiring. Wait! What was that!"

"She kicked you!" Bianca said.

"Unreal," I breathed. "Just totally unreal."

I kept my sudsy hand on Bianca's stomach, and Sofía kicked twice more.

"What does that feel like for you?" I asked.

"Life," Bianca said. "Growing in my womb."

"Yeah."

I finished soaping Bianca and used the hand-held showerhead to rinse her off. I quickly washed, and we got out of the shower. I dried Bianca, then myself, and led her to the bedroom so we could dress.

"Want to indulge in a fantasy?" Bianca asked as I started to pull on my pyjamas to walk to my room.

"What's that?" I asked.

"A blowjob from a very sexy, very pregnant woman?"

"Whose fantasy is that?" I asked.

Bianca laughed, "Mine, but now yours, too!"

"Nice judo move!" I chuckled.

"Get in bed and sit up against the headboard so I can lie on my side and be fully on the bed," she instructed.

I did as Bianca asked, she climbed into bed and positioned herself so her head was next to my groin. She gave me a sexy, loving blowjob, and my release was wonderful but also charged with emotion. When she finished, she moved up so we could share a soft kiss.

"That was wonderful," I said. "And very different."

"I know, right?" Bianca said. "It's been nine months since I could do that for you, and despite having done it so many times, this one was special."

"Very."

"Promise me something?"

"What?"

"That no matter what else happens, you and I will make love once I've recovered."

"Count on it," I said.

Later that morning, after breakfast, I called my mom. I filled her in on Bianca's progress with our baby, then described what was going on with Bev.

"She is really lashing out," Mom said. "She's made some ridiculous claims about Jim and Julie, too."

"About?"

"That they were abusive and threatened to kick her out."

"Flat-out lies," I said.

"I know. She also claimed Jim threatened to kill Glen."

"Also a lie, given he didn't know who the baby's father was until Bev stopped speaking to them. Well, unless Jim threatened Glen."

"I don't think they ever spoke, and Glen moved to Illinois long before Jim found out."

"I think Bev is mentally ill."

"So do I," Mom said. "What's going to happen with you?"

"My attorneys think I'll be OK, but to ensure that, they're going to have to ruin Bev's chances of ever regaining custody of Heather. Bev is being vindictive, and as such, it's the only way. Well, unless she reconciles with her parents. Then ALL the problems basically go away without a fight."

"Jim and Julie have tried, but she refused. They contacted her attorney, and she told her attorney to tell them to, and this is a quote 'drop dead and go to Hell'."

"She's unhinged," I sighed.

"Please understand it's not your fault, Jonathan. Not in any way. You did everything you could for her, and you absolutely did the right thing in giving Heather to Jim and Julie."

"I keep wondering what would have happened if I'd told her I was thinking of moving to Chicago before everything was arranged."

"She had the opportunity to talk to you, but instead, she took up with Bob Leahy before you even left. You made a mistake, but she doubled down and could have easily rectified it by asking you to take her with you, even if it meant her waiting a year to finish High School before she moved. She could have fixed it when she left home, too. Or when she decided to leave St. Louis. You rescued her once and Heather twice. There was nothing more for you to do."

"I know," I replied. "But ... no, you're right."

"I'm hesitant to say this, but do you remember Mrs. Caulfield?"

"The school psychologist?"

"Yes. She suggested Bev might be schizophrenic. Everything fits that potential diagnosis."

"Oh, shit," I breathed. "Sorry, Mom."

"I work in a High School, so I've heard far worse."

"And yet, I shouldn't swear in front of my mom."

"If there were a time for it after I told you, that qualifies."

"Yeah. Doesn't her attorney see the signs?"

"I have no idea."

"If she does come to Illinois, things are going to go from bad to worse; well, from worse to worst, I guess."

"Do what you have to do to protect your licenses, Jonathan. You've done everything possible to help Bev. There's no more to give."

"I can't help but think there is."

"And logically, you know that's not the case. You've gone above and beyond. At some point, you have to look out for yourself. You did what you had to do to ensure Heather is in a stable, loving environment."