Chapter 48: I'm Done Arguing, and I'm Done Fighting

March 19, 1984, Chicago, Illinois

On Monday, the Federal Reserve did exactly what we expected, tightening the targeted Fed Funds rate by half a point, resulting in a Prime Rate of 11.5%. That was historically high, but just slightly more than half the 21.5% of December 1980. The market had mostly priced in the increase, but as the Research team had projected, gold was down and was all but certain to continue down.

My positions were balanced for the interest rate increase, so I didn't need to make any immediate changes. On the plus side, all new Treasury instruments would earn an additional interest, which would help with my overall return, at least in ensuring I beat the hurdle rate. Missing that was a serious negative, even if I beat the market, as Spurgeon Capital only made a profit if we beat it.

After lunch and the gym, Tony and I met with Jerry, Mark, Scott, and Pete to revise our interest rate projections. All six of us agreed the fed would tighten again in April, but we were split on if they would do so again in May and June. After a healthy debate, we set the target interest rate for June to 12.5%. We lowered our DJIA and S&P targets but increased our Nikkei 225 target because the Japanese market was heading in the opposite direction of the US markets.

At 3:00pm, I left the office to go to the bank to set up the household account, added Bianca's and Deanna's names as signers, and took signature cards with me for them to sign. At 5:00pm, I left the office and drove to Bridgeport to pick up Teri. She opened the door when I rang the bell.

"Hi," she said. "I'm ready."

She called 'goodbye' to her parents, and we walked to my car. We got in, and about ten minutes later, I parked across the street from the restaurant. When we went into the restaurant, we were seated immediately. We ordered drinks, and the waiter brought them promptly and, a few minutes later, took our orders.

"What's been going on in your life?" Teri asked once the waiter left.

"Work is going well, as I said on the phone. I've signed several new clients, and I have a meeting tomorrow morning to hopefully sign four new clients. In addition, I hired Violet as my administrative assistant. I just completed the course for a Series 30 — or Branch Manager's — license. When I pass the exam in May, I'll be able to run my own trading desk, though I'm going to stay as Head of Research for a few years.

"Outside of work, things have been all over the map. My friend Bev's husband, Glen, was being investigated for statutory rape, and after he was charged, the two of them tried to run to Canada with Heather. That created a complete mess, though Heather is with her grandparents."

"The teacher? I thought Bev was over the age of consent!"

"She was. He apparently had sex with a pair of Freshman girls back in Ohio, possibly more. I got caught up in the mess because they were arrested, and that made me Heather's legal guardian. I arranged to pick her up in North Dakota, and Bev's parents came to Chicago to get Heather from me. Now there's an ugly custody battle in Ohio, and I'm involved as a witness, though only by affidavit and possibly a deposition."

"Fourteen? And he's in his forties? That's just disgusting!"

"I'm not judging, but the law sure will."

"You think it's OK?"

"I think I don't know enough about what happened, and we both know girls that young have sex. I do my best to stay out of other people's business, and that seems to work well for me. But enough about that. On a positive note, I bought a condo in the Hancock Center, and I'm moving in late April or early May."

"Just you?"

"Bianca, Juliette, Deanna, CeCi, and me. Well, and my daughter with Bianca, who'll be born before we move. Jack and Kristy will rent the house from me."

"What floor?"

"The 91st and 92nd. It's six bedrooms and is configured similar to a townhouse."

"You must be doing even better than I thought!"

"I suspect I am, though I can only do it because I have a low-rate mortgage through work. My commute will be three elevator trips. The nice thing is, both Bianca and I will be that close to home to be sure we can care for our daughter, though we'll have help during the day."

"I honestly don't know what to say to all of that other than I'm impressed."

"Thanks."

"Are you taking a class?"

"International finance," I replied. "Over the Summer, I'll take two, and then, in the Fall, one. In the Spring, I'll start an independent study program to complete my degree in about two years, with credit for things I do at work."

"So you could finish before I do."

"So it would seem, but I need to work that out with my advisor."

The waiter brought our small Greek salads, and we began eating.

"I know it might be too soon and out of line to even ask, but are you dating?"

"I saw the granddaughter of one of my clients twice, but she's a devout Catholic, so that went exactly no place. I've seen another girl twice, but I don't see that going anywhere, either."

"Not to be a bitch, but why not call me?" Teri asked.

"I don't think you're going to like my answer," I said. "I struggled with how I could move forward and properly honor my relationship with Keiko and honor her memory, combined with a promise I made to her. I can explain in detail, but the bottom line is that I don't think I'll ever remarry."

"And you didn't think to call me, knowing how I feel about you?"

"Blunt answer?"

"That is your way, so, yes."

"First, I was basically just testing the waters; second, I honestly didn't know how you felt after I had married Keiko; third, I knew you'd be home for the Summer in June; fourth, I'm not committing to anyone; fifth, for all I knew, you had a boyfriend; and sixth, I seriously doubted you'd accept the terms."

"Don't you think you at least owed me the courtesy of asking me?"

"I suppose that's true, and maybe I should have called you, but honestly, that would have been once I had sorted things out further and felt I could enter into a relationship of some kind. You called Saturday, I called back, and here we are, with me telling you where I am face-to-face rather than over the phone."

"I'll give you that, but a call would have been nice."

"I'll grant that I could have called and probably should have, but we're here now and can have a conversation, assuming you want to."

"I'm not sure there is a conversation to be had if marriage is completely off the table for all time. You've gone from 'sleep with me in the hope that we would marry' to 'sleep with me with no hope that we would marry'. And you think that would be acceptable to me?"

"No, I don't," I replied. "Not to be a jerk, but I was positive that you wouldn't, which meant calling you would only have annoyed you, and we probably wouldn't be having dinner together and talking face-to-face. To me, doing this is better than saying it over the phone, and you at least get a nice meal out of it."

"I will give you credit for saying it in person and not leading me on. How do you see your life unfolding if you don't ever marry?"

"First, not marrying does not mean I won't have a long-term monogamous relationship, and it also doesn't mean I wouldn't have more kids. I just wouldn't have a 'second wife'."

"Because you don't want to replace Keiko?"

"That is it in a nutshell. I promised her I'd be cremated and interred with her when my time comes as well."

"And that promise means you wouldn't be buried with a second wife."

"Correct."

"Not to be a bitch or insensitive, but that promise to Keiko overrides literally everything?"

"I'm a man of my word."

"Let me turn the tables," Teri said. "What kind of future could you offer?"

"Think about what I said — the only thing off the table is a marriage certificate. May I make an observation?"

"I'm not going to like this, am I?"

"Probably not. You have this idea in your head of what you want in a lifetime partner. I don't conform to that, so you are insisting I change to fulfill what you want. Your proposed compromises all revolve around me conforming. You have to know by now that isn't likely, and that leads me to ask myself why you keep trying. You are working awfully hard at something with little or no chance of success if you expect me to change who I fundamentally am.

"That leads me to conclude that one of three things is true. Given the circumstances and given your persistence, I have to conclude that either you're a determined gold digger; you're so hopelessly in love with me that you can't let go; or you want to fuck so badly you can't let go."

"You can't be serious!" Teri exclaimed, clearly offended.

"Tell me another option, then," I replied. "You have relentlessly pursued me despite all the roadblocks, and in your pursuit, you changed timing and tactics, but it always came down to me accepting your conditions. Remember, I don't object to your criteria for a mate as wrong or inappropriate; it's just that I cannot conform to whom you want me to be.

"Put the shoe on the other foot. If I relentlessly pursued you and insisted you change to be who I wanted you to be and act how I wanted you to act, you'd have shown me the door long ago. But you haven't because I'm not pursuing you. I am, on the other hand, making it clear what I can reasonably offer."

"Which, in the end, comes down to wanting to sleep with whomever you want."

"While that's true on its face, it is not a full representation of my thinking. Remember, nothing I said precludes the possibility of a long-term, monogamous relationship. If a marriage certificate is mandatory for you, then there isn't a solution because I can't commit to ever agreeing to marry.

"The thing is, that piece of paper is pretty much irrelevant to the relationship. It's keeping your vows, not the piece of paper, that matters. All the paper does is provide a few government, social, and legal benefits. But those benefits come with strings attached, including complications in ending the relationship.

"And if you're worried about those benefits, nearly all of them can be gained through appropriate contracts. And before you freak out about that word, I've heard it used about marriage, even without it being patriarchal. Finances, child custody, medical power of attorney, and a host of other things have other solutions. What specifically does the piece of paper mean?"

"It's a commitment," Teri replied.

I shook my head, "No, it's not. It's formal legal recognition of the commitment, it's not the commitment in and of itself."

"You are hopelessly pedantic and logical."

"Mandatory traits in my chosen profession," I replied.

The waiter brought our main courses and took away our empty salad plates.

"I maintain you are going to have serious problems in your relationships," Teri said.

"So you say, but I believe I can find a like-minded partner or partners. There are absolutely long-term relationships that don't include a marriage certificate. If that's off the table for you, then I don't see a way forward. That said, I am curious about which of those three things is true or if you have a fourth possibility."

"I'll play your game for a moment. Which of those three do you believe is true?"

"I'd say, based on everything that has happened and been said, you aren't hopelessly in love with me. Evidence strongly suggests you aren't a gold digger. That leaves one possibility. And that possibility explains literally every interaction we've had since we met in math class."

"This I have to hear," Teri said skeptically.

"Because of what happened with your brother and your best friend, you set very specific criteria for when you would have sex. Every single thing you've done since we met has been to fulfill those criteria so you can do what you so badly want to do. That fits the pattern, and nothing that has happened between us contradicts the overriding fact that you want to fuck, and you want to fuck so badly that you can't stand it. The problem is, your self-imposed criteria preclude the only solution available."

"You really are a smug bastard," Teri said flatly.

"Maybe, but I believe I've accurately analyzed the situation. As I said, the ball is in your court. You have, as I see it, two choices. Either we don't see each other again, or we fuck and see what happens. BUT that's not happening before the end of the semester because I'm not ready to enter into a relationship at this point."

"Back to 'put up or shut up'?" Teri asked, her eyes narrowing.

"That is what it boils down to," I said. "I don't want to fight with you. If you can't accept me for who I am, then you have to stop pursuing me. Bottom line? Go back to school, think about it, and call me in June if you want to move forward."

"You mean if I want to fuck," she said flatly.

"It's up to you, Teri. I'm done arguing with you and done fighting with you."

We finished our meal in relative silence and, by mutual consent, skipped dessert. After I paid the check, I drove her home and walked her to the door.

"Good night," she said as she unlocked the door.

"Good night. My number won't change when I move."

"You actually expect me to call you?"

I not only expected it, but I was absolutely positive she would. Whether that led to the obvious result was a different question.

"I expect you to do what you feel is in your best interest," I said.

"Uh-huh."

She went into the house and closed the door behind her, so I walked back to my car. I got in, buckled in, and headed home.

March 20, 1984, Chicago, Illinois

On Tuesday morning, I heard from Gwen Meyer.

"A motion to compel was filed, along with a notice for an appearance next Monday at 9:00am. There is no need for you to come to court on Monday, as all that will happen is I'll file my appearance as your attorney, and a date will be set for a hearing on the motion. Your goal is to make this as difficult as possible for them, right?"

"Yes."

"Then I'll appear and file several motions aimed at nullifying the subpoena in Illinois. That will potentially require briefs, which will push the hearing to late April at the earliest. The outcome of those motions will give us clues as to whether the judge will force Miss Clemmons to sit for a deposition if and when they attempt to subpoena her."

"You're the expert," I said. "Do what you think is necessary to prevent it. I'm sure you'll do this, but please keep me fully informed about the chances for success at any given stage so I can make informed decisions about how to proceed."

"I will absolutely do that. One option is to ask the judge to issue a protective order based on our offer to sit. It helps that we've made that offer, as it puts the onus on Mr. Switzer to explain why they aren't willing to accept the conditions."

"I have a question that came to mind — is it possible to 'take the Fifth' in the deposition?"

"Only for matters where we reasonably believe it covers criminal activity. It's a double-edged sword — it protects you from admitting elements of a crime, but it also waves a red flag that you believe you might have committed a crime. You're worried about the form stating you are Heather's father, right?"

"Yes, though Thomas Hart doesn't believe criminal charges are likely; the concern is civil and with regard to my SEC licenses."

"That's a more problematic situation, as taking the Fifth in a deposition is almost always limited to potential criminal charges. That said, given there is a remote chance of charges, it would be legitimate. The problem lies with how we convince the judge you aren't trying to avoid answering legitimate questions without revealing the nature of your concern.

"There is one other possible solution, and that is if the government were to get some kind of order based on you testifying against Glen Rodgers. We haven't discussed it in detail, but from what I understand, you have no material information with regard to the charges in Ohio. Is my understanding correct?"

"The only thing I know is that he and Bev were together when she was seventeen, and Ohio's age of consent is sixteen. To my knowledge, he hasn't been charged with anything with regard to her."

"OK. I'll be in Cook County Circuit Court on Monday and will call you that afternoon."

"Thanks, Gwen."

I hung up, and about ten minutes later, Violet and I left for Hart-Lincoln.

"Are you sure I should be in this meeting?" she asked as we rode the elevator down to the lobby.

"Yes. It's similar to the situation in Ohio. I intend to bring you to as many meetings with potential new clients as possible. I don't see you as being an administrative assistant forever. If I do what Jack and Bianca are suggesting, I'm hoping you'll have a significant management role in running the firm."

"Seriously? Me?"

"Seriously. You. I would need someone I trusted without any reservations to be what amounts to a Chief Operations Officer. Spurgeon doesn't have one but really needs one. Mr. Spurgeon is far too involved in day-to-day matters, and it's not a good use of his time. That said, it's how he wants to run things, and it is up to him. But think about the things I'm starting to delegate to you already.

"You are absolutely not a secretary; that's why your title is Administrative Assistant. That indicates you handle all the administrative crap that I don't want to do and which isn't a good use of my time. Yes, I approve time off, but someone has to schedule it, ensure there are no conflicts, keep track of it, and report it to Personnel. Granted, that's a fairly simple task, but it's one that needs to be done."

"You're already planning?"