Chapter 46: A Small World

March 13, 1984, Chicago, Illinois

At lunchtime on Tuesday, I left the building and met Marcia at a deli near the Congressional District office where she worked.

"How are things going with Congressman Hayes?" I asked.

"I'm really happy to be managing the district office, and we're doing really good work for our constituents."

"I'm happy to hear that. Would you be able to arrange a meeting with the Congressman when he's in Chicago?"

"I need to say something off the record," Marcia said.

"Sure."

"For 'meet and greet', we prioritize donors, and size matters."

I laughed, "So I've heard!"

Marcia smirked, "What? I was talking about a contribution!"

"Uh-huh! Just as Steve Martin was talking about his girlfriend's cat!"

"You lost me."

"He has a skit that is totally off-color. OK to tell you?"

"Sure."

I modulated my voice to sound similar to Steve Martin's, though it wasn't a very good impression.

'I went to this girl's apartment, and she had the best pussy I have ever... '

"The audience goes crazy. So he continues..."

'Oh, now come on! I'm talking about her cat! That makes me sick! You can't say anything anymore without people taking it dirty. I'm sorry, that disgusts me!'

"He pauses for a few seconds, then says, completely deadpan..."

'Incidentally, that cat was the best fuck I ever had.'

Marica shook her head, "Rude, crude, and socially unacceptable!"

"And yet, perfect for a stand-up routine with an adult audience. Have you heard Frank Zappa's Joe's Garage album?"

"No."

"It's like that, only more so. I also heard a song by him — Bobby Brown Goes Down — which is far worse in terms of 'rude, crude, and socially unacceptable', and yet, it's awesome. In one verse, near the beginning, he sings...

" ... and it gets worse from there."

"That's just sick!" Marcia declared.

"Maybe so, but Frank Zappa, like George Carlin, refuses to be bound by social norms and, in fact, uses them to create offensive humor, which is the best kind."

"Seriously?"

"You know I don't follow social conventions except insofar as I have to at work. I prefer people who defy social convention and who express themselves freely."

"You behave conservatively and traditionally."

"I have that public image because it's what my clients expect. What you don't see, for example, is me posing nude for an art class at the School of the Art Institute."

"No way!" Marcia gasped.

"It's true. I also posed nude with Bianca for a painting Deanna did. You'll be able to see that one in the gallery in my new condo."

"When are you moving?"

"Sometime in late April or early May, depending on when my interior designer finishes her work."

"So you've gone full aristocrat now?"

"I inherited no money and no title," I replied. "Am I better off than the vast majority of people in Chicago? Yes. And that's because I generate more wealth for others than the vast majority of people do. There are baseball players who make more than I do, and I daresay you feel they make less of a contribution to society than I do."

"I'd actually say it's similar because you don't create jobs."

"Bullshit. Pure, unadulterated bullshit. The baseball player, to use that example, helps create jobs for thousands of people — groundskeepers, ushers, ticket sellers, sports reporters, memorabilia creators and sellers, everyone who works for advertisers on sports broadcasts, and so on. Does he pay them directly? No. But without him, those jobs wouldn't exist.

"In the same way, I create jobs both directly and indirectly. I help pay for everyone without a securities license who works at Spurgeon, plus the cleaning staff at the Hancock Center, the men and women who work at the exchanges, accountants, lawyers, and so on, not to mention the people I hire to do work for me at my house or manage my rental properties. More importantly, I create capital, which is used to found and run businesses, and my work facilitates international trade.

"Both the baseball player and I pay taxes, which create your job. We pay significantly higher taxes than the average person, too. Granted, some extremely high net-worth individuals escape taxation, but that sure as heck isn't me or Bill Buckner or Ryne Sandberg! And guess who can fix that? Congressman Hayes. Back to the meeting, should I just write you a check?"

"No. We have to keep constituent services completely separate from the campaign committee. I can't even ask you for a contribution, which is why I hinted at it and said even that hint was off the record. I'll give you the address to send the check to, which should be made out to 'Hayes for Congress'. They'll contact you to get some personal information before they deposit the check."

"Personal information?"

"They have to report contributions, and that includes your name, address, and occupation."

"I'll take care of it."

"And I'll set up the meeting, probably in April."

"Thanks. How are things otherwise?"

"OK. You know I'm dating, but nothing serious yet. I've been out with two different guys a few times each, and I think the best thing to say is I haven't found exactly what I'm looking for. Well, that's not quite true ... sorry, I shouldn't say that."

"No need to walk on eggshells," I said. "It won't upset me if you just say what you're thinking."

"You know how I feel about you, even if it's too soon for you to act on it."

"I'm working through my feelings, and I'm making good progress, I think. I've concluded a few things, and one of them is that in order to move forward, I have to find a way that honors Keiko and doesn't diminish my relationship with her. It also has to account for my commitment to her that when the time comes, I'll be cremated, and my ashes will be placed next to hers in her family's crypt. It also has to allow for a special relationship with Bianca because she and I are having a daughter together in about a month. And it has to allow for my relationships with Violet, who will always be a close friend, and my role as Deanna's patron."

"Nothing like creating a ton of non-negotiable prerequisites and limits!"

I nodded, "I understand, and you and I have had this discussion. Some things just can't be negotiated. My usual example is a few devout Catholic girls for whom a church wedding is a requirement or who want to raise their kids Catholic and not have me say anything to contradict the Catholic religious teachings. But there was also a girl who was Hindu, whose family did not approve because I wasn't Hindu.

"Differing worldviews can be a problem, as can different goals, such as having a small or large family or no kids at all. Obviously, I can't compromise with regard to my soon-to-be-born daughter. Nor could I compromise about my choice of career or the way I do my job. Those things are simply part of who I am.

"That said, there are areas where compromise or even agreeing to disagree are both OK. Taking something simple — if we don't like the same TV shows, two TVs or a TV and VCR solve the problem. If we don't like the same sports, we can each go to games with our friends. Political differences aren't particularly relevant so long as both spouses are tolerant. And so on. Where to live, where to go on vacation, and so on, are all open for discussion and negotiation.

"Right now, and for the foreseeable future, I have no intention of remarrying. I may never remarry. That resolves, at least in my mind, the concern I have for diminishing Keiko's role in my life and her being my wife. It feels wrong to have a 'first wife' and 'second wife', and that feeling may never go away. That doesn't mean I won't have a long-term romantic relationship, perhaps even a monogamous one; it just means nobody should assume that marriage is in the cards."

"I'm not quite sure what to say about that," Marcia replied. "You're saying you're a confirmed bachelor for life?"

"I'm saying that's the default, and nobody should count on it changing."

"And you think a girl should just have to accept that?"

"Yes, but not in the way you mean. For example, I accept that a young woman I've seen twice is a devout Catholic, and nothing I say or do is going to change that. Any relationship would have to be on those terms. If I can't accept it, that's on me, not on her. That said, she also has to accept that I'm never going to be religious, devout, or otherwise. If she can't accept that, it's on her. But neither of us should enter a relationship assuming the other will ever change."

"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" Marcia asked scornfully.

"Keiko," I said flatly.

Marcia frowned and looked down.

"Sorry," she said, barely audibly.

"In the end, Marcia, you have choices, but your choices don't compel a specific response on my part any more than my choices compel a specific response on your part. In the end, the terms of our relationship have to be negotiated like the terms of any relationship. Often, that's done by inference and informally, but even if the terms aren't stated clearly, they exist, including by social convention."

"You reject that out of hand!"

"And yet, I know it, understand it, and use it to gauge how others will react unless I know they are of a similar mindset to me. You mistake me rejecting social convention for how I live my life for rejecting needing to accommodate it in my decision making. Not to mention competing social conventions based on religion or class or venue."

"So what I want doesn't matter?" Marcia asked.

"Sure it does. But unless you're in 'I want an Oompa Loompa, and I want one now!' mode, what you want has to take into account what is possible, which has to include all considerations. Bluntly, you tell me what you want, I tell you what I can offer, and we see if there is any way to meet in the middle if there is a gap.

"Let's cut to the chase — you are certain you want to marry, and I am reasonably certain I don't. There is no actual middle ground there unless one of us changes our mind. That means we stay friends and participate in Jeri's cabal she intends to use to take over the world. The terms of that friendship are negotiable, including how often we see each other, what kinds of things we do together, and so on."

"So you're saying you'll have sex with me, but you'll never be my boyfriend?"

"Actually, that's inaccurate. It would be more accurate to say that I won't be your husband. I didn't rule out a long-term girlfriend, including an exclusive one. I simply ruled out marriage, or at least counting on that as a possible result of a relationship."

"Why would a girl sign up for that?"

"Because it met her needs, and she didn't feel a marriage certificate was necessary? Let me give you another example — some people do not want to have kids. That's a legitimate choice, and anyone who wants kids shouldn't marry someone who doesn't. Doing so would be foolish in the extreme and likely lead directly to divorce. Fundamentally, you don't get to decide for anyone else.

"And that, I think, is the core of our disconnect. Your job is, in effect, to decide for others; mine is to provide them with the means to decide for themselves. Fortunately, there are limits on both our jobs — the Constitution limits how far you can intrude into my life, and laws and regulations limit what I'm allowed to do to generate wealth for others, and the law limits their actions to things that don't physically harm others."

"I'm not sure how to take all of that."

"Bottom line, based on what you've said? You want to marry and have kids, and that means I'm not a good choice for a life partner."

"So you'll never change your mind?"

"All I'm saying is that you can't expect me to ever change my mind. It's a subtle difference but an important one."

"You are nothing if not pedantic," Marcia observed.

"It's who I am."

We finished our lunches, and I returned to the office. I wrote out a check to 'Hayes for Congress', addressed an envelope, added postage from a supply of stamps I kept in my desk drawer, sealed the check in it, and put it in my 'Out' box for the mailroom to collect. I spent time during the afternoon making calls to my current clients simply to check in, and for each call, I confirmed a face-to-face visit in May or June that Violet had arranged.

At the end of the day, rather than head home, I drove to Ichirō's house for dinner with him and Atsuko. After a very nice Japanese meal, Atsuko brought a pot of tea for Ichirō and me.

"Did you study the materials I provided?" Ichirō asked.

"I did," I replied. "There were some very good lessons there, though I had to think of them slightly differently from the way they were written to apply outside of karate."

"And what did you learn?"

"First, the Dōjō precepts apply across all facets of life, not just for karate — perfection of character; faithfulness; making a supreme effort; respect for others and self; and non-violence. Those quite clearly define my approach to life and boil it down to a simple set of rules to live by, as it were."

"Very good. The other list is more specific to Shōtōkan karate, but I think you are wise enough to glean precepts from it which apply to your life."

"Yes," I replied. "With a minor modification to words to apply generally, there were three that stood out. First, 'Be constantly mindful, diligent, and resourceful in your pursuit of life'; next, 'Calamity springs from carelessness'; and finally, 'First know yourself, then know others'."

"And which of those would you say was the most important?"

"Knowing oneself. Unless you are self-aware, you cannot see your own faults and flaws and cannot improve. In a way, it's like the Catholic practice of confession but without all the baggage that comes along with it."

"An apt comparison, at least so far as I understand the practice. It is those precepts which are the most important ones taught at the dōjō. Most students think it's about learning self-defense or staying in shape. The true «空手家» (karate-ka) — student of karate — understands that learning and living the precepts is far more important than perfecting the movements."

"Don't they go hand-in-hand?" I inquired.

"If you see that, then you are far ahead of most students. They do, indeed, go hand-in-hand. Learning the physical disciplines aids learning the spiritual disciplines, and learning the spiritual disciplines gives meaning to the physical disciplines."

"As I said once before, I simply don't have the time to dedicate to karate training to do it properly. There may come a time when I do, but at the moment, I can't make the commitment. I believe you have much to teach me, and I want to learn from you, but at least until I complete my Bachelor's degree, it will have to be informal."

Ichirō nodded, "I do understand, and I hope that the day will come when I can act as your Sensei."

"If I understand the meaning of that word, I believe that this conversation shows you are already doing it."

"A very good insight, and there is much truth to it, but the physical is part of it, as I mentioned before."

"I want to continue this relationship, both for your wisdom and because you are my grandfather by marriage."

"Thank you, Jonathan-san. Keiko chose well, and you honor her memory."

"Something I will do for the rest of my life."

March 14, 1984, Chicago, Illinois

The string of attorney-free days came to a screeching halt on Wednesday afternoon when Gwen Meyer called.

"I received a certified copy of the subpoena," she said. "There is a complication in that I can't present my motion to quash directly because I'm not a member of the Ohio bar. Stefan Chojnicki's motion to quash was already denied, so the only way to actually have the subpoena quashed in Ohio is for you to hire counsel in Ohio, and it would very likely need to be someone not from Mr. Chojnicki's firm."

"Wonderful. I assume that means Mr. Walsh is going to press forward?"

"Yes. Along with the certified copy of the subpoena, I received notice that Mr. Walsh has retained counsel in Illinois."

"Who?"

"Brandon Littleton."

I couldn't help but laugh, "He'll have to try again. Mr. Littleton is a client, which means he has a conflict, right?"

"You deal directly with him, correct?"

"Yes, as trustee for a trust that is invested in my fund. In fact, I spoke to him yesterday afternoon, and he didn't mention it."

"The letter from Mr. Walsh is dated Friday. Let me call Mr. Walsh and find out. I'll call you back as soon as I speak to him."

"Thanks."

I went back to work, and about fifteen minutes later, Gwen Meyer called back.

"Mr. Littleton notified him of the conflict as soon as he received the files on Monday. The new attorney is Jack Switzer from Allen & Baker. Mr. Walsh retained him yesterday and verified over the phone that there were no conflicts."

"So what happens now?"

"I'll call Mr. Switzer and ask what he intends to do. You may want to consider simply acquiescing to the subpoena to stop a prolonged battle. I'm not advising one way or the other, mind you; this is totally up to you. That said, you expressed your concern for Heather Newton, and the longer we fight, the longer it will take for a resolution."

"That's a reasonable point. I know depositions have very few limitations, but is it possible to negotiate?"