Chapter 36: Oxford Comma It Is!

January 25, 1984, Chicago, Illinois

On Wednesday, after a usual day at work, including a trip to the gym, I drove to Violet's house to pick her up for the game between the Hawks and the North Stars. As was our usual practice, we bought dinner at Chicago Stadium and ate before the game started. The Hawks got on the board twice in the first ten minutes, and things looked good, but then they gave up two goals in quick succession so that the first period ended 2–2. The second period didn't go well, as the Hawks gave up two goals and didn't score, with the period ending with the North Stars up 4–2.

The North Stars scored their fifth consecutive goal early in the third period, with the Hawks getting one back about midway through. It wasn't enough, and despite scoring the first two goals, the Hawks lost to Minnesota 5–3.

"Five unanswered goals!" Violet groused on our way out of the stadium. "It was like Bannerman was asleep! Worse, Keith Acton scored shorthanded for Minnesota! Ugh!"

"Technically four, because they did get the last goal."

"Whatever!" Violet exclaimed. "It stunk!"

"It was pretty bad," I agreed. "They just don't seem to have it this year. They might make the playoffs, but I don't see them getting past the first round if they do."

"What's our next game? I don't remember. I mean, I have it on my calendar, but I'm drawing a blank."

"March 21st against the Jets. And I'll have playoff tickets for the first two rounds, if the Hawks make it."

"When can you get more games?"

"Next year. I have a shot at going deeper into the playoffs, too. Assuming, of course, they actually play well enough!"

"When do you find out about baseball?"

"In another week. I'm going to try for Reds games, obviously. Which teams do you want to see?"

"BoSox, Tigers, or Brewers for Comiskey; Cards, Braves, or Pirates for Wrigley."

"I'll do my best!"

"Will me working at Spurgeon cause any problems with going to games?"

"Not in the sense that anyone would object, but they will assume we're sleeping together."

"Just because we go to games together?"

"And the general atmosphere, which I told you about."

"Well," Violet smirked, "if everyone is going to assume, then we may as well do it and enjoy it!"

I laughed, "You've said you like my goofiness, and I like it when you're relaxed and can tease."

"Who says I'm teasing?" Violet asked.

Her voice conveyed both that she was teasing and that she wasn't, and I wasn't quite sure how to respond, because the last thing I wanted to do was hurt her or create some kind of problem between us. And that was besides my own issues. I was quiet for the twenty seconds it took us to get the car from where we'd been when she'd said that. We got into the car, I started it and pulled out of the parking spot.

"I'm sorry if what I said bothered you," Violet said quietly.

"You didn't," I replied. "I was thinking about what you said and how best to respond because I'm not sure you were just teasing."

Violet sighed, "I don't know, either. You know the problem, obviously."

"I do, and we can discuss it if you want, but I do have to say I'm not ready to do that with anyone, and I'm not sure when I will be."

"Because of Keiko?"

"Yes. With that in mind, do you want to talk about it?"

"I ... what did you think when I kissed you on the lips?"

"That you were likely testing yourself again. I decided to wait to see if you said anything or if you did it again."

"I was worried because you had said I should ask you before doing that, but it just felt right because of everything that happened that weekend. You're not upset, are you?"

"No. What I was referring to was what I'd call a real kiss, not a quick peck on the lips. So you didn't go against what I'd requested."

"A real kiss, you mean, like French?"

"That would be, yes, but so would a soft kiss that lingered, if that makes sense. I mostly took that peck on the lips to be a sign of close friendship rather than an invitation to kiss you properly."

"I told you it was OK for you to kiss me."

"Yes, and I interpreted that to mean on the cheek, not on the lips."

"Because you're concerned about how I'd react?"

"Yes, and because of what I feel it would mean."

"You think it would mean we were a couple and that we'd ... go to bed together."

"A couple? Yes. Going to bed together would happen at some point. May I be honest?"

"Yes, of course!"

"I don't see you having casual sex. I'm not saying you think you have to wait to be married, just that if you decided you could, it would have to be in the context of a committed relationship."

"And you're concerned about if I could and how I'd react."

"Yes, because you are."

"True," Violet agreed with a sigh. "Sometimes I wonder if I should just have done it with you to see if I could handle it. I really thought about that, but then you and Keiko became a couple. But now..."

"Setting aside my struggles because of Keiko, I don't want to do anything to mess up our relationship."

"Me, either. It's just ... is it wrong to think about it?"

"No, of course not. Forget what society says and absolutely forget anything Doctor Lochner said. Remember what Nancy told you?"

"That it's normal to think about it."

"But it still scares you, doesn't it?"

"Yes," Violet admitted. "But ... uhm ... isn't one way to get over fears to do the thing that scares you?"

"I've heard that, and I can see the logic, but what would happen if you 'freaked out' as you called it?"

"Nothing good," Violet replied quietly. "It's strange because when I think about it in general, I want to, but then I think about the things that we would do, and that's when I feel a panic attack coming on."

"May I make a suggestion?"

"Of course!"

"Talk to Nancy and get her advice and see what she suggests to help you overcome that."

"And if I do?" Violet asked quietly. "Would you?"

"I can't answer definitively right now because the answer for anyone who asks is 'no'. But I promise to discuss it with you."

"That's all I can ask. Even if it sounds like I'm not, I am super happy that you're doing everything to keep me safe."

"I promised to do that, and I will."

When we reached Violet's house, I walked her to the door. She hugged me, tilted her head, smirked, winked, then kissed my cheek. I kissed her cheek as well, which caused her to smile. She went into the house, and I turned and walked back to my double-parked car.

January 28, 1984, Chicago, Illinois

On Saturday, I had breakfast with Violet, went to class, then met her for lunch. She didn't bring up the topic of sex, though she did let me know she had made an appointment with Nancy Jane Moore for the following Saturday. When we finished lunch, the two of us walked to the Registrar's office so I could register for English Composition and a humanities course.

I looked through the course catalogue for what was available, and none of the history courses seemed particularly relevant, so I began scanning the other available classes and felt that the two best options were psychology and sociology. After reading the course outlines, I decided Sociology 101 made the most sense, given a good part of my job was about relationships and social interaction, not to mention herd behavior.

I signed up for the classes, and the clerk printed out the confirmation and class schedule. I'd be in class on Mondays and Wednesdays from 7:00pm to 9:00pm and on Saturdays from 8:00am to 1:00pm. Violet had chosen not to take courses during the Summer but would begin again in the Fall.

I walked Violet to her house, and we exchanged a hug and kissed each other on the cheek. Once she went inside, I headed home. Bianca was ready to do our weekly shopping, so we left the house almost right away to head to Jewel and the dry cleaner.

"I had an interesting talk with Beth at dinner on Tuesday," I said.

"Let me guess, she wants to fool around."

"That's a given," I chuckled. "But the conversation was about how to break the cycle and turn the 'if' into 'when'. She had a creative idea that, after thinking about it for five days, makes sense."

"What's that?"

"Ask out someone who I've never been out with or had any kind of relationship with. Just a coffee date. She suggested that way, it wouldn't be affected by any shared past, and it wouldn't mess up a relationship if I was uncomfortable and chose not to call the person again."

"Interesting, but you're taking CeCi out on Fridays, and you know she'd sleep with you in a heartbeat; Deanna, too."

"Yes, and if I have a meltdown, I can't predict what will happen. With a casual coffee date, if I feel at all uncomfortable, I can simply end the date — no harm, no foul. I suspect you'll object and say that neither Deanna nor CeCi would react badly, and I agree. I'm worried about me and how I'll feel."

Bianca was quiet for a moment, then nodded.

"If you feel as if you betrayed Keiko, you might not be able to continue the relationship because, in your mind, it would have been cheating or however you wanted to describe it."

"Something like that, yes. I'm thinking about asking the paralegal at Hart-Lincoln, who gave me her number and then reinforced her interest after Keiko died. She was careful to convey that she was interested when I was ready and that she hoped I would call. That seems the safest thing to do."

"I'm not used to you being this cautious with anyone except Violet, and those are special circumstances."

"Yes, and if you think about it, I've had my own emotional trauma, though I wouldn't put them on the same scale because I think, in the end, it will be easier for me to move forward than it has been for Violet, and by a wide margin."

"I can't argue with that."

"And speaking of Violet, she's struggling again. Or still. Or however you want to put it."

"Did something happen?"

"I think the emotion of the trip to North Dakota and sharing the suite, combined with cuddling me while I cried, pushed her to confront her own feelings. When I dropped her at home on Sunday, she gave me a peck on the lips and then, after the hockey game, initiated a conversation. She actually teased me about being my secretary and said that if everyone was going to assume we were doing it, we might as well do it and enjoy it!"

"NO WAY!" Bianca exclaimed.

"There is a wonderful, vibrant young woman hiding inside that shell. The problem, as she distilled it, is that she has a desire to have sex in a general way, but the moment she thinks about the specifics, she verges on a panic attack. I suggested she see her counselor, and she's going to do that next Saturday while I'm in class."

"And?"

"And one step at a time. I am in no position to act on that desire, if I even had it."

"Your libido has gone to zero, hasn't it?"

"So it appears."

"I suspect that's an effect of your grieving process."

"I suspect so, too."

"I'd have to say, provisionally, that Beth's idea is a good one."

"So I have your blessing?"

Bianca laughed softly, "As if you needed it."

"Actually, with relationships, I need someone to provide counsel, and I can't imagine anyone better than you."

"Thanks."

January 30, 1984, Chicago, Illinois

Monday was a big day for me at Spurgeon for two reasons. The most important of the two, at least in my mind, was Violet starting work. That achieved two important goals — the ability to improve the Research Department and seeing her more often. Even though we would be working, I was sure she'd appreciate the proximity, and we could have lunch together at least some days.

The other thing, which I knew Noel Spurgeon would consider more important, was that Marvin McCafferty from MTB Sports Management called late in the morning and asked if I would come to Cincinnati and make a pitch to his firm. I immediately agreed, and after we both reviewed our calendars and I checked on the Spurgeon jet, we agreed on Thursday, February 9th. Once I finished with him, I called Cheryl to give her the details for the flight, and five minutes after the call ended, Noel Spurgeon asked to see me.

"How did you manage to set a meeting with Marvin McCafferty?"

"I called an attorney I know in Cincinnati, and he made the introduction. Is there a problem?"

"Not at all. It's a good idea and will be great PR if you're successful. What do you need to make it happen?"

"First, giving credit where credit is due, going after a sports agent was Jack Clinton's idea."

"You need to comp him if you get this deal."

"I will. How much?"

"A quarter of your commission is typical."

That would mean splitting my portion of the first year's management fee with Jack, which was completely appropriate, given the circumstances.

"OK. As for what I need, as much as I want to close this deal myself, I could use some backup."

"Will I do? You'll run it, and I'll have your back."

"That would be perfect."

"How much is on offer?"

"I honestly have no idea and didn't feel it was appropriate to ask because, in the end, we may have to pitch each athlete individually. That said, we have to convince Marvin McCafferty to recommend us to all his clients. If we can do that and bring aboard some of his clients, they tell friends, who tell friends, and so on."

"And you think that's a good use of our time? Without knowing how much capital is available?"

"I do. In any business, if you want to expand into a new market, you have to make the necessary investment of time and money to understand the market. Call it a market development program."

"Good answer. Bring your assistant with us. That helps show we're serious."

"I'll do that, but how so?"

"I've found that having three people in meetings like this is optimal, and you bringing your assistant conveys that it's your meeting, not mine."

"That makes sense. Thanks."

"Good job, Kane. Go find more ways to make me some money!"

"On it!" I declared.

I left his office and returned to mine, asking Violet to come in when I passed her desk.

"We're flying to Cincinnati on Thursday, February 9th," I said.

"Bev?"

"No, a potential new client. You, me, and Noel Spurgeon."

"Whoa! Why me?"

"It's about sending the right message to the new client — that it's my meeting because you're my assistant. It also demonstrates we think he's valuable by flying three people to see him. We'll be taking the corporate jet."

"Wow! What should I wear?"

"A skirt and blouse would be appropriate — in other words, how you're dressed now."

"What do I do in this meeting?"

"Mostly sit quietly and take notes. We'll talk more about it before we go. Why don't you have lunch with Bianca and me? You should also come to the gym and set up an exercise program."

"Are you saying I'm fat?" she asked with a silly smile.

"Not at all! The membership is one of your benefits, and it would be foolish to not make use of it."

She did join Bianca and me for lunch and accompanied us to the gym, where she met with Tim to discuss a fitness program. After lunch, Tony and I spent time with Violet to bring her up to speed and assign her first tasks. Even though she was classified officially as a secretary, her tasks would mostly be supporting the Research Department rather than performing secretarial duties, and we'd refer to her as our administrative assistant.

At the end of the day, I left the office to meet Deanna for dinner at Venice Café. After we ate, we took a cab to the Art Institute for Deanna's class, where I was modeling. The pose for the evening had Alexa and me on the couch with my arm around her, her legs draped over mine, her head resting on my chest, and her hand on my side.

"You snuggle pretty well," Alexa observed when we took our first break. "According to Sophie, you do other things very well, too!"

"Sophie talks too much!" I said lightly. "But thanks for saying I cuddle well. I hear we're having our first 'fight' next week."

Alexa laughed, "Standing back to back with our arms crossed like petulant toddlers."

"What did you do on Monday?"

"I sat on a chair staring at a telephone, waiting for you to call. When I miss one session in a few weeks because of another commitment, you'll sit and read the Wall Street Journal."

"Art imitates life," I chuckled.

"It does fit your job!"

We returned to the studio and took up our pose. We had one more break, and when class ended, Deanna and I headed home.

January 31, 1984, Chicago, Illinois

"Jonathan, Mrs. Peterson would like to see you," Violet said over the intercom mid-morning on Friday.

I acknowledged her and the left my office to go to Personnel on 30. Leslie directed me into Mrs. Peterson's office immediately.

"I wanted to review your monthly pay statement with you and answer any questions. I also have a check for you for the dependent life insurance for Keiko. My condolences, once again."

She handed me the check for $10,000, which was the standard insurance amount for dependents.

"Thank you."

"As for your pay statement, you'll see that there is a base amount calculated on the fees received by the Cincinnatus Fund, less expenses, capital contribution, and other costs detailed on the income statement for your fund published on January 15th. The total amount is divided by four, which represents your quarterly target pay. That is paid out in $10,000 increments on the last business day of each month.