Chapter 13

The full Territorial Army Commissioning Course was eight weeks. Andrew had spent most of his time at university thinking his time at the OTC reduced this to four but it turned out he only needed to attend Sandhurst for three weeks. It was a grind, yet flew by at the same time. There were a disparate group of guys on the course and yes, they were all guys. When asked later what was the thing about the course that he stood out the most? The emphasis on being an officer. How they, as officers, were different than the men. Now they didn’t say officer and gentleman and they didn’t say the officer cadets were better than the men. They didn’t need to. Of course there was lots of marching, running around, exercises, advance to contact, all the things that had prepared and trained for. But the emphasis on being an officer, that took Andrew by surprise. Things like how to behave, the importance of keeping your distance from the men. Now he didn’t say anything, he took notes like everyone else and listened carefully. But it struck him as strange the time that was spent on this aspect. Three weeks is a limited amount of time and the time spent on this one issue seemed disproportionate given that constraint.

Compared to the training that was to follow, the three weeks at Sandhurst were straightforward, and passed quickly. Graduating the full commissioning course and becoming a regular officer after nearly a year there must seem like such an accomplishment. Three weeks, seemed trivial or half-arsed in comparison. But Andrew graduated and was commissioned as a 2^nd Lieutenant. All the preparation at Cambridge UOTC and especially the last couple of months with 131 Commando Squadron Royal Engineers had him ready for the course and he passed it without any issues.

When telling Ara and Suzanne about it when he returned, and later other friends and family, in some ways Andrew wished there was more he could say about it. But in truth it felt like passing selection was a bigger deal. If you made it to Sandhurst, especially with the Territorial Army, then unless you had an unlucky injury you were going to pass, so he passed. And was immediately sent off to sunny Chattenden for two weeks of Special to Arm training, Army speak for two weeks of Royal Engineer training. Those two weeks almost immediately faded in his mind, swamped by the weeks and months that followed. He had gone from being an officer cadet to a 2^nd Lieutenant but for Andrew at least there was something missing. Maybe it was the fact that he would not be fully accepted at the Squadron until he had passed the reserve version of the All-Arms Commando Course at Lympstone.

Andrew enjoyed being a soldier, he enjoyed being an officer. Or at least he thought he did. Here he was, 22 and a newly commissioned officer, but it was all within the bubble. Andrew’s total exposure to other ranks was; the week of OTC camp at Bassingbourn and even then, that was from a distance; strangely enough the two week training course at Worthy Down; and the limited time with his new squadron at Kingsbury. Exercises with the OTC, even exercises at Briefing and Main Board were all within the bubble. What awaited him upon his return, the first Tuesday night at Kingsbury, was putting it all into practice with the men of the squadron. Andrew was stuffed full of theory, now it was time to put it into practice. But the training at Chattenden felt exactly the same as Sandhurst. The newly commissioned regular officers got six months of command training, the TA officers got two weeks. It was through his years with the squadron that Andrew got his training, the initial Army training was nothing more than the basics.

After five weeks he was done. Going forward it was now Tuesday night training at Kingsbury together with weekend exercises. But that was not the main thing that loomed over him. The squadron was part of the Royal Engineers, part of the Army, but 131 Squadron was operationally under the command of the Royal Marines, which were part of the Navy. And as they were Commando Engineers he also had to pass the All Arms Commando Course, or at least the reserve forces version of it. He figured the rest of 1987 and 1988 were going to be miserable. For once his clairvoyance was spot on!

All of that was to come. Sometime in late 1988 or early 1989, if he passed the course, Andrew would be finally be a Commando Engineer. Sitting on the train as it trundled back towards London he reflected on this moment. He traced it back to a Captain Nuffield in one of the Combat Engineer Regiments back in 1983. It was this Captain who had made an indelible impression upon him. When Andrew thought of being an officer in the Royal Engineers he thought of Nuffield. His command, his ability to keep everything under control and moving forward, even as chaos erupted all around him. The Sappers had a thousand different specialties and trades, yet because of that one man Andrew wanted to be a combat engineer. Until that point he had not even considered the fact that Sappers were soldiers first and engineers second. And now, because the only other TA unit in central London was an EOD unit, Andrew was a member of the only Commando Engineers in the Territorial Army.

He thought it ironic and more than a little humbling that after all his mocking of the wannabe warriors and their obsession with the supposed glamour of special forces, that here he was faced with the prospect of undertaking a course whose reputation was nearly as fearsome as special forces selection.

But he had made the decision years ago. Sure, 131 Squadron was a new wrinkle but this was something Andrew wanted to do. Ara and Suzanne were relaxed and supportive of his involvement with the reserve forces, he had been in the CCF and then the OTC all the time that he had known them, and his intention to join the TA had also been known. So the two of them supported him. Andrew knew that the Squadron would ensure that he was sufficiently fit and prepared for the Course at Lympstone so it was a new short term goal.

His goals. Andrew hadn’t even thought of them in months. Career, sorted; university, finished; fitness, automatic every day. These three he could dismiss with a flick of his mind. Even love, the unofficial seventh goal that Suzanne proposed, was wonderfully under control. And the last three? Well the last three were interlinked, and likely to be for the rest of his life. He was being careful with commitments, mindful that he didn’t know busy he was going to be in his new job, but that come the autumn he would be looking to volunteer somewhere. He didn’t know what yet, but knew that he would do something. And Ara and Suzanne had also indicated that they were going to find something as well. Balance was also something that he was being careful with. He was still a careful and regular correspondent with everyone, as he had done right before leaving for the two training courses. The only letters that had faded away and dried up were Chiara and Lilja. The last month of the summer would allow him to catch up with some people that he had not seen in a while, Justin, Rupashi and Helena all came to mind. Which left making a difference. One big thing had been completed, and to try to match that was to set up a lifetime of disappointment. So Andrew was taking that goal and breaking it into micro-goals, with a lot tied into karma. He was working in intelligence, trying to make a difference. He was helping Suzanne and Ara to make a difference in their chosen fields. He was supporting his friend Olivia with the same. Nothing earth-shattering and probably more paternalism than he was comfortable with, but true none the less. He would look for additional things over the course of the rest of the year, tying them into karma and volunteering.

Once the train finally arrived at Victoria Station Andrew switched to the Tube and took the one stop north to Green Park before walking the last few blocks to the house. After five weeks without seeing Suzanne and Ara he smiled as he realised he was striding quickly through Berkeley Square to see them.

They looked fantastic, they smelled fantastic, their lips were fantastic. You get the idea. Andrew was very pleased to see them. It was early evening on Saturday September 5^th, 1987. And what was most fantastic was the next three weeks were mostly free. Other than a weekend in Paris Andrew had no plans until starting his job with the MoD on September 28^th. After the initial kissing and caressing he was sent for a shower and when he came out Ara and Suzanne were lying naked on the bed. After five weeks it was Ara that Andrew tried to drown but youthful vigour and the inspiring sight of the two of them had him reloaded in no time. Andrew made love to them in turn, one joined in his lap while the other cuddled behind her. The sense of coming home, the sense of completeness was wonderful. After all three of them shared a quick shower they headed to the kitchen and Andrew reminded them both how much he ate. Dinner was lovely, but after five weeks of just the two of them the portion size was on the small side. Some scrambled eggs on toast filled him up and he sat at the table finishing his beer. Neither Suzanne nor Ara were hiding their guilty smiles.

“Tell me about your last five weeks. What did you get up to?”

Ara started.

“Things were different without you here the whole time. The first couple of days were just getting back into our routine. Chatham House have brought up my start date by a week. Well they asked but I was fine with getting started, so I agreed. So I start in three weeks, the same as you on the 28^th. So other than a couple of projects here I have spent a lot of time reading and starting to write. Olivia arrived the Wednesday after you left and stayed with us for two weeks. I will let Suze tell you all about that. But when Olivia left we jumped on a train and the two of us went to see Grandfather. We had a great couple of days. He borrowed the car of the couple that help him look after the house and we drove round the area, letting him show us where he grew up, and places that he and Grandmother took Mum and Uncle Ash when they were small children.”

Suzanne jumped in.

“He was so sweet. It was nice to spend more time with him now that the shock of the news was in the past. It was nice to be able to take him round some of his old haunts. He could have gone with his friends but had never bothered. He was so pleased to show the two of us.”

“Old flirty pants over here had the charm turned up to 11. The poor man had no chance.”

The pair of them giggled, but Ara sobered.

“We did talk about the visit to Mum and he apologised to us all. In hindsight he realised that it was a mistake. She had a screaming phone call with him before we were back to the car that day and hasn’t spoken to him since. Which he did say was the one good thing that had come of it. Another of the things that Suze and I helped him with was going through a lot of stuff. There are decades worth of things that he collected, they collected, in the house. He is serious about selling it, and he is serious about giving me the money from it. He even talked about that in front of Suze. Do you think we can go up this coming weekend? There is a lot of stuff in the attic, and some of it is too heavy for Suze and I to get down.”

“Of course? Drive or train?”

“Er, do you think we could hire an estate car, as big as possible. Maybe get the train up and then hire a car in York. I think there will be lots of trips to drop stuff off, move things to friends and neighbours. He is going to see a small house in a complex close by. If he likes it he wants me to come and see it with him and estimate how much furniture he can take.”

“That should be easy.”

“Great, thank you. So after we spent two and a half days with Grandfather we were back on the train and went up to Edinburgh.”

“We did the same thing with Mum and Dad. Just spent time with them, letting them get to know Ara better, as she said, letting the shock of the announcement settle. And it was a lovely couple of days, just like in Yorkshire. They had a dinner party on the Saturday night so we called Leslie and Julian and fortunately they were free. The four of us had a fun night, too much wine, too many stories. Julian told me to pass on to you that he had started in his new office. He said you would know what that meant.”

Wow, the Open University OTC had come into existence. Andrew needed to call him and catch up.

“We crashed at their place on Saturday night and at the flat on Sunday. It is a terrible indulgence to have a flat sitting empty for when we decide to pop up for a couple of days.”

“I know, but it is bought and furnished now, and it is only two bedrooms. I gave Maggie and Tony a key so that they can crash there if they don’t want to have to drive home late. One of them always has to be sober.”

Ara smacked her leg.

“That’s what I smelt. Maggie’s perfume. There was just a trace in the bathroom.”

“Don’t worry about the flat, we are going to be visiting Edinburgh for the rest of our life with Suzanne’s parents, Grandma, Leslie and Julian, Maggie and Tony. We will use it.”

“I understand. Mum and Dad were really pleased to see us and we had a very relaxed time, although I think mine was more relaxing than poor Ara’s.”

Andrew looked at Ara puzzled at what Suzanne meant.

“Suze was talking to her Dad, Mike I was told to call him, while Tanya and I were chatting in the kitchen. She asked me to walk with her as she went to pick some rosemary from the garden. But once we were out there she asked me to try and explain what Suze and I do. She was blushing and stammering but imagine how I felt. Now Suze was looking radiant and happy and we had even kissed in front of her parents, so I don’t think she was worried. She was just being a mother trying to understand her daughter, and by extension me. So the two of us walked to the end of the garden, there is a little bench there, and I haltingly explained how it felt, how I felt. Can you imagine? I am telling Suze’s mother that I get turned on from spanking and whipping her. I think she was horrified at first but then I reminded her that Suze got turned on from that. And that it was mutually reinforcing. I wanted to turn her on and she wanted to turn me on.

“It got incredibly personal but I talked about how she would be on the bed, hands bound, face down, her lovely white bottom right there. And how I just had this craving to turn it red. I talked about the power dynamic, how it excited me that Suze was helpless. And then I told her that when I was done we would just explode. And afterwards we try to outdo each other with the hugs and thanks.”

Andrew couldn’t imagine having that kind of conversation with Suzanne’s mother! Anyone’s mother!

“She surprised me by thanking me and giving me a hug. She said she didn’t understand how someone could be like that but it was clear that Suzanne was like that and that she was incredibly happy with her life. At the end of the day that is all she could want as a mother.”

Ara had been learning how to shrug from him.

“She hugged me as well later, and told me about her conversation with Ara. I was a bit freaked out to be honest, and worried about how poor Ara was coping. It felt like she had been completely ambushed. But Mum had her own plans for me. She asked about you, and why I needed Ara to ‘help me’. That is what she called it. ‘Help me’. So I had to explain to her that you didn’t like to do that to me. I think my mother thought my bum was constantly black and blue from the two of you spanking me. But talk about preconceptions. Since she knew you were the first person I had ever talked about this with, she assumed that you were just like Ara. Plus I think she just saw your size and assumed. So I had to explain that you didn’t do that to me, or only very rarely. It had been one of the huge issues with our relationship for years. I am telling you by the time we got back to the flat we were mentally exhausted. But in terms of our families starting to better understand us, and us as three, then the weekend worked. But I don’t think Ara is going to go into the garden ever again.”

“That is quite the tale. And she was okay?”

“That is the thing, she was fine. This was genuine interest. It was ‘tell me about your new pottery class dear’ type of thing. I don’t think she talks to Dad about it though.”

She shuddered.

“God, can you imagine that conversation. We survived but it wasn’t quite as relaxing a Sunday afternoon as we were expecting.”

“Was Vanessa there?”

“No. And thank you for reminding me. They did ask what we wanted them to tell the rest of the family. I think we have told enough people at present and since Vanessa is going through her ‘up the revolution’ phase and is not going to be invited here, we asked them to keep it to themselves. We are just friends and housemates. We will have to decide how we are going to handle Christmas, but it can wait. I was done having to explain us.”

Andrew nodded, in complete agreement.

“So tell me about Jenner and Dupree.”

She was off. The passion for this within Suzanne just burst forth. The offices were done, and ready for the two of them to start work. On the Monday morning when they were in Edinburgh Suzanne had sat with Leslie and gone through the second draft of her business plan. Leslie had been honest and forthright but Suzanne had taken it on the chin and listened to the comments. She had sent version three off the previous day.

“Can we talk about the next month Andrew. Friday, we head up to York to help Ara’s grandfather. The weekend after you are working in Paris, yes?”

“That is the plan.”

“There are several letters for you from France, so we can confirm that shortly. Olivia has asked if she can meet us in Paris that weekend. She hoped that we could bring some bags back for her so that she is not overladen with luggage when she moves. We have that last week and weekend and then both you and Ara start on the 28^th, is that right?”

He nodded.

“It is tough to look for a flat when you are not yet in the city. Ara and I had no issue with Olivia staying here while you were away. It was nice to have her here. Would you be okay with her staying here when she first moves to Britain permanently, until she finds her own place?”

Andrew looked at the two of them.

“I don’t mind. Is she going to be okay with our lifestyle, are you going to be okay with her living here?”

“We talked about this. Firstly it is short term so I think it is something that we should do. She will be in the guest bedroom with the ensuite on the top floor, and when is the last time any of us went up there. We might have to curtail our trail of clothes on the stairs as you chase us to the bedroom but I think we will cope. She really will end up just being a housemate. She has sat and worked at your desk in the study, that might be the biggest issue.”

Andrew laughed. They had the space, and another chair at the map table wasn’t going to be an issue. It was agreed. Olivia was going to move to Britain on the 23^rd of September. And come the following Monday, the whole house would be off to work. Suzanne was ready for the pair of them to get started. Their lives were planned and mapped out.

Suzanne stood up and walked over to where he was sitting.

“Andrew, I have been very naughty.”

As an opening line it had his attention.

“It might have been the naughtiest I have ever been.”

Contrition was an emotion missing from her face. Radiant mischievousness maybe, contrition not so much.