Chapter 15

With me crammed tighter under a thin blue blanket, struggling to sleep, or at least find a comfortable position, the flight home seemed endless. Not because of the cramped seat, but Bea. The quiet words she’d spoken in an uncharacteristic monotone after waking in my arms. Plus, the hopeful glimmer in those gorgeous azure pools.

And what I’d promised her before she slipped from me to board her plane.

The strangest thing was guilt. Although it lingered inside me, I shook my head as I stepped onto the jetway. With a grunt, I flicked my phone back on. Amid a cascade of beeps and chirps, texts and voicemails flowed across the screen.

Easiest first. No need to bother Irina anymore. After highlighting all hers, I tapped the “delete” button. Gorgeous woman like her, she’d be alright. Then what about Marge and the others? They’d be okay, riding that fine line between business and personal. Those I would return once I’d gotten a decent sleep.

Which left Laura. While tramping towards the airport exit, I kept glancing at her messages. My pulse wavered, until at last, I halted to call a rideshare.

“Nah, she’s simple, too. Back with her ex. The father of her children.” The image of my seed oozing into the dirt in that wooded Virginia clearing slapped into me so hard I jolted. And “the father I’d never be,” left me in a quiet mumble.

Tada, simplicity. Except as my finger hesitated to remove Laura’s messages, my heart ached. As in a real deep throbbing pain.

“She’s a manipulative psychopath,” I murmured.

Brows furled, I’d spoken loud enough that an older man glanced up at me. Cheeks reddening, I nodded to him before turning away. I was going mad. Courtesy of Laura.

“Fuck, is that why she’d agreed? She’d sent me to Bea knowing what would happen,” I whispered in a quieter voice as my heart twisted. “She’d be off the hook. Back with her ex. That’d been her master plan the entire time.”

Yet right as my finger hovered, I yanked it away and shoved the phone in my pocket. Even once I’d lurched into my apartment, that not-so-brilliant concept kept tumbling around in my damned fool skull. After an icy shower, I crumpled into bed. When the phone jangled, I threw it across the room.

The next time it rang, the mid-morning sun was sending orange streaks along the floor. In the kitchen, I was front-loading water. A brutal gym routine awaited me. Well overdue, it would scorch some anger away.

No sooner had I staggered back into the apartment than the phone’s muffled jangling sounded. With the afternoon sun slanting across the bedroom, I wiped sweat from my brow and snatched a broom. Right after nudging the device free, I was lifting it when it rang again.

Laura.

For a good long time, I let sweat burn my eyes while staring at the phone. Ring after ring sounded. Then they stopped, only to start once more. At last, after letting every molecule of air in my lungs hiss from my teeth, I answered it.

“Deke! Oh my God. I was so worried. Your plane was supposed to get in yesterday. Irina said you hadn’t returned her calls either. Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

A lengthy silence, other than the rushing in my skull, stretched as I strode to the balcony doors and gazed through their streaked glass. Overlooking massive air handlers and a wide stretch of gray roof, my view couldn’t compare to hers. Not that it mattered anymore. With my heartbeat thumping so hard in my chest, my ribs ached.

“You sure? Um, you don’t sound okay?”

“I’m fine,” I replied in a dead voice that pretty much screamed the opposite. But I didn’t care about that either. Despite the ice filling my core, heat jetted up my cheeks. When I caught her quick inhale, the phone squeaked in my fist. “You knew”—a low growl slipped from my clenching teeth—”didn’t you?”

“Huh? About what, baby?”

“Don’t baby me, Laura. I’m so fucking tired of this.” A heavy breath left me. “I can’t take it anymore.”

“W-What? I don’t understand, Deke. What happened out there?”

As time slithered to a halt, the world beyond the glass wavered. When I dropped my gaze to the phone, it blurred. Boom, boom, boom. Thunder rumbled in my skull.

“Bea happened.” I smacked my lips and sighed once more. “Just like you knew it would.”

“I’m not tracking, Deke. You were alone back there. Yes, I admitted fucking up. I drank way too much, but that told me”—she gulped—”that you shouldn’t be alone. Lonely, I mean. You understand?”

“No. What I think is, you saw Bea as a way to get rid of me.” My tone deepened as a growl built in my chest. “That you’d had your good time. Used me. And once Bea admitted—”

“Woah, big guy! Back it up. You’re so wrong.” As her voice grew louder, words tumbled faster. “What did she admit? That she’s fallen for you? Duh, so what? You said she wouldn’t leave her husband, anyway. And even if she left him ... Well, we’d cross that bridge together. Like with Irina, maybe. Unless she’s also another woman you don’t want to be around anymore. Is that why you haven’t called her? Fuck, I wish I was there.”

When a tear slipped free to trickle down my cheek, I shuddered. Why? Because damn it, I believed her. I’d been so wrong. Except...

“Did you fuck James?”

“What! No! That asshole. Shit, no. I told you that. I’m yours. And you’re supposed to be mine. I understand your job. Even get it about Bea, and the others who I’m sure have developed...” A heavy puff of air filled the receiver. “Well, feelings. Our deal was not to hide things. I confessed. One kiss. Told you, drank too much. It was stupid. I swatted him away. Done and done.”

When a sob slipped free of me, I wasn’t sure who was more shocked. But as a gasp erupted from the speaker and my legs wobbled, I crumpled backwards onto the couch. As I wiped at the next tear, I struggled to control my rapid breathing. Each time I tried to speak, words wouldn’t form in my spinning brain.

“So, Bea loves you?” Her soft voice snapped me out of my funk.

“Yes. And I, um, care for her.”

“You love her, Deke. You’re that kind of guy. I never asked you why you hadn’t remarried.”

“Scared.” Even as that single word left me, I could sense her nodding. Because duh. “I had it all, Laura,” I murmured. “More sex than any man could desire. No complications.” Eyelashes blinking away more tears, I rubbed my forehead. “But then I met you. No, that’s a lie. Some of them kinda—”

“No kinda, Deke. They did develop attachments to you. I told you I understood. I’m not gonna chain you to me. I’d never do that, baby. Hell, I couldn’t even if I wanted. You’re ... Well, you’re you. A force of nature when you set your mind to something.” While low, a giggle slipped from her. “Or somebody.”

“I love you, Laura.”

Boom, mike drop. Two things happened. First, all the weight that had been clenching my soul shot skywards. The truth shall set you free. Duh, that’s why being with Bea had felt so strange. And second, that weight returned as the silence on the other end dragged.

“I know you do, baby,” she replied in a quiet voice. But after a soft smack of her lips, she sighed, and words again sped from her as if they were bolts of lightning. “I swore it wouldn’t happen again after James. Even with the boys, I have my own life. I’m fighting like hell in Congress. The ultimate old-boys club. Besides, I never wanted, um, complications, either. But then you opened your door...”