Chapter 44: Therapy

Luna Prime Colony, February 13, 2142
Therapy

Alan and Anna were some of the most respected tactics and gunnery instructors on Armstrong Station. Alan was silent about his training, but he was just doing what Hilde taught him from his back seat. Anna was the one with a natural talent as a RIO. While the Berserkers called Armstrong home, waiting for the McDivitt’s refit, they were busy flying training sorties, “shooting down” NUBs. (New Unexperienced Bodies) Armstrong station was the final training point for future fighter pilots and RIOs. The motto of the training squadrons was, “You have to get past the moon to get to space.” A second line was added that read, “You have to get past the Berserkers to get past the moon.”

Every Wednesday, Anna and Alan traveled to Luna Prime Colony on the Lunar shuttle that landed inside the colony. The colony was a lot like Bradbury Canal. Very staid, very businesslike, and the ceilings were very low. A few times Alan had to duck, so he didn’t bang his head on a sign that was hanging from the overhead (as the Navy has called the ceiling for over 500 years). The gravity was so light that it was hard not to bounce up and bang his head.

Prime General Hospital was not far from where the Shuttle lands, which was really convenient, but the hospital was huge, so Alan and Anna needed guidance to find Dr. Loren Remy’s office. While Anna was in with Loren, Alan remembered a request he got from Hilde and went back to the main entrance and waited to speak to a receptionist. The pretty Asian receptionist was talking to another hospital visitor, so he spoke to the other receptionist. “Does this hospital have a sperm bank? My fiancée mentioned ... uh ... making a deposit.”

“Yes we do, it’s right off corridor A.”

“Thank you.” And Alan followed Corridor A to the Sperm Bank. “I’m not sure how to do this, do I open an account?”

“Yes actually,” said the beautiful receptionist. Luna was still trying to rebuild their population so there was no shame to visiting the sperm bank. It was considered a social duty. Alan was sure that the sperm bank receptionist inspired a few deposits. She was tall and slim and she moved with ease and self-assurance. The same self-assurance that Hilde had ... has. She helped Alan with the account and when he had his account built, she assured him of total anonymity and let him know he would get a monetary stipend for “public” deposits.

“What if I don’t want anonymity? What if I want whoever makes the withdrawal to know it was me?”

The receptionist smiled. “You can make a deposit for someone. That will insure that it is there for them when they need it but you will not get the monetary stipend. Will you be making a deposit today?”

“Yes, I think so...” and he was directed where to go. He was handed a sterile cup and filled out the paperwork, leaving this deposit in the name of Hilde Marks. He was assigned a private booth where there was a video screen with all kinds of options for the depositors viewing pleasure. Alan just wanted Hilde but chose something called MILF porn, which worked.

It had been ages since Alan’s cock got any attention, so he was shooting into that cup in record time. He sat shaking and hating himself for enjoying this while Hilde lay in bed, in pain. He left the little cup on the shelf marked “Leave Deposits Here” and went upstairs to Dr. Loren Remy’s office.

The following weeks were very similar, but the deposit he made was for Yin Chao. If she doesn’t want it, she can release it to the public and Alan will get money. Every week, his talk with Loren Remy was less stilted, a bit more open than the first week when he said little. In that first meeting, he just listened to her tell him what they were going to concentrate on over the course of his treatment. Lately they spoke of his youth, then the horror of watching the pressure doors slamming closed over his parents. “I got my revenge for that,” said Alan.

“And how did you do that?”

“After I killed Burgman I turned their death chamber into a museum for kids. It’s filled with plants, there’s fish, the only fish on Mars! there’s hamsters and cats and I got an RTTY that said they got a bunny!”

“A bunny?” laughed Loren. She tried to ignore him when he said that he killed Dr. Burgman. It was abundantly clear that the man committed suicide. Alan is clearly blaming himself. They’ll work on that as they progress.

“A lab rabbit, one of the last ones on Mars. Uncle Ray found that illegal animal experimentation was happening on Mars and is bringing the tamest survivors to the Children’s zoo.”

“Quickly, before our time is up. Why is the children’s zoo so important to you?”

“Because the children love it. I could watch them pet the hamsters all day long and sometimes I can get to sleep at night.”

He met Anna in the main waiting room and she was all smiles, quite different from the way that Alan felt. Past horrors were catching up with him. “Guess who I met today!”

“I hate this game, Tasha played it all the time. Who did you meet.”

Anna smiled like she was handing him a wonderful gift. “Yin Chao! We’re going to have lunch with her next Wednesday!”

“What was that?” asked Tasha as she tried to catch the plastic bags that were floating free around the Trinity site. She firmly believed in the spaceman’s creed, take nothing but pictures, leave nothing but rocket exhaust.

“That was a featherback being chased by a Werewolf F-201,” said Hilde as she floated above Tasha.

“CABLE! CABLE! CABLE!” shouted Alan. “MOVE! IT’S COMING! IT’S GOING TO KILL YOU!”

The end of the cable moving at a thousand miles an hour flew over Alan’s head, but it seemed incredibly slow, and he watched it head straight toward Tasha and Hilde. “TASHA! HILDE! MOVE!” he shrieked over and over. But he was frozen. He couldn’t move. His girls needed his help, but he was useless.

Floating just above him, Tasha was in the way of the cable and she couldn’t move. “Make it stop!” she cried as it slowly cut her in half just below the ribcage. She died shrieking, “Why did you do this to me?”

The cable continued on through Tasha’s spraying blood and slowly cut Hilde’s legs off at the knees. She felt a hit then said, “Why did you do that to me?” then the pain set in. Alan was in complete shock. Tasha was gone, and Hilde screamed, “You killed me!”

“HELP!” Alan shrieked into the open radio frequency. He floated up to Hilde and grabbed her tourniquet kit and tried to tie off her left leg, but her squadron floated around him, laughing.

“Help a Luna whore?” laughed the werewolves.

Alan couldn’t move, he couldn’t get to Hilde. He shouted, “WEREWOLF IS DOWN AT TRINITY!” into his radio over the confused chatter of the marines. “I NEED HELP!”

“Don’t let me die!” shrieked Hilde, which caused Alan to start crying. “I don’t want to die!”

“You’re not going to die baby ... you’re not going to die...”

“It’s ok” said Anna. “It’s ok, it’s over ... It’s over...

“I’m sorry,” wept Alan. “I’m sooo sorry...”

“It’s ok, it’s ok...” whispered Anna. “It’s all over.”

“Why didn’t it take me!” he wailed, and he pounded his fists on the carpeted floor.

This wasn’t the first time Alan woke up screaming. It’s been happening regularly, but this was the worst one. His screams of terror woke her in the bedroom and she came over and found him clawing at the carpet. In his sleep, he was trying to dig up Tasha.

Anna hugged him from behind, her small, firm breasts pressing into his muscular back. “Please Commander, come back to me,” she begged and soon he woke up and slumped down on the floor.

“I did it again, didn’t I.”

“Yeah,” whispered Anna.

“I’m going to get that box truck route on Luna ... I can’t fly like this.”

“We’re not flying today boss,” said Anna as she kissed the back of his neck. Hilde once told her doing that calms him down. “Come on, let’s go get breakfast.”

“Breakfast,” groaned Alan. It didn’t sound appetizing.

“Let’s shower first,” said Anna as she ran her hands over his sweat covered back.

He got up and climbed into the shower, and Anna joined him. They were still co-workers showering, friends. There were no advances, no grabbing and touching, and no kissing. They didn’t need to shower together, but that’s how they did it on water short Mars and it was nice having company for a morning shower after a night wracked by nightmares. They pulled on civilian clothes and plodded to the Dining Hall.

“What’s for breakfast today?” asked Anna.

“Something called Huevos,” said Alan, who always seemed to know what was on the menu. They ate all their meals in the dining hall except for Wednesday lunch, where they ate at a diner down on Luna. “What are Huevos Rancheros?”

“Eggs and refried beans.”

They sat down with breakfast and Alan ate reluctantly, regardless of how much of his favorite hot sauce Anna poured on his huevos rancheros. (Since docking at Armstrong, Anna has been trying to teach him to eat Central Style: beans and rice, green chili peppers, thin sliced steak, chips and salsa, and lots of hot sauce.) He liked refried beans, but they weren’t sitting well this morning. When he finished half of his breakfast, they headed back to their suite and got the notebooks that Loren insisted they use to keep track of their phobias, and Alan grabbed a blue box that he held close. They climbed on the shuttle and it dropped from Armstrong Station and they rode in silence. An hour later, when they got off the shuttle and were walking to the hospital, Alan asked, “Where did you find Yin?”

“She asked me not to tell, so please don’t ask.”

“You’re going to be there right?”

“Of course. Are you nervous?”

“She’s going to kill me.”

“And you want me to stop her?”

“No. I’m not going to stop her either,” said Alan. “When she decides to kill me, I’m going to offer her my throat and my last words will be ‘thank you.’”

Anna wanted to make a remark about being a drama queen, but he looked so forlorn, so helpless. “Come on Commander. You need to talk to somebody.”