Chapter 23: Claire’s Past. Decisions

Claire took a deep breath and repeated through her tears, “I was a porn star and a call girl. I just couldn’t hide that from you any longer.”

With that pronouncement, she burst into tears and buried her head against my chest. In only seconds, I could feel her salty tears running down my naked body. I wrapped my arms around Claire’s equally nude form and pulled her to me in a move to comfort and console instead of anything erotic.

The others in the hotel suite’s room couldn’t have missed her confession, particularly Crystal and Ellen who had sensed Claire had been anxious about something for months. Both women came over and joined me in surrounding Claire within a circle of love. We all babbled words of love to her, and that her confession made no difference to us. One of us said, “We don’t even care if you’re still doing all that stuff. We love you.”

I kept saying, “No one cares. We love you.” I must have said it a hundred times in the five minutes that Claire sobbed into my chest.

Nadia appeared next to us with a box of tissues and a washcloth, and we started to blot up some of the tears from me and soothe Claire’s face. She snuffled and sniffed between sobs, her eyes were red, and when she’d look at us, her face would scrunch up and she’d sob again and throw herself against me.

Ten minutes passed before we could get Claire quieted down. I just held her tightly, and kept telling her that I loved her.

When her blubbering stopped, she started apologizing, “Oh ... sniff ... I’m so sorry ... snort ... that I didn’t ... choke ... tell you before. Now, ... sniff ... you feel you have to ... put up with me ... sigh ... or tell me ... choke ... to leave.”

I kept saying, “Claire, what you did doesn’t make any difference to us. We aren’t obligated to put up with you. We love you. We’re not going to be making you leave us; we love you. You could be doing porno movies and hustling today, and we’d still love you. Heck, we’d all probably want to join you.”

She sniffed a few times, and her tears slowed. In a weak voice, she asked, “Really?”

Crystal and Ellen spoke simultaneously, “Really!”

Claire looked between each of us. Billy and Dan were leaning forward towards us, hanging on every word. Billy had brought Claire a glass of water. They didn’t know Claire as well, yet real concern showed on their face. Besides, if they’d wanted to help, there wasn’t any more room around us to join in. I knew both of them would keep their mouths shut about her revelation. I trusted them with much of my life story and road trip, and never heard another word about it.

Claire choked out, “I need to tell you ... it’s been my dark secret for three years.”

Edie said tenderly, “Not so dark. Bring it out in the light and you’ll find it’s not so big or as awful as you’ve talked yourself into thinking it is.” She reached down and stroked Claire’s cheek, wiping away a tear as she did. In just the few days when Edie stayed with us at the Nashville home, she’d formed a strong bond with Ellen and Claire since there were close in age.

After more sniffling, Claire started her story. “I wasn’t always Claire Whitman; I changed my name from Cheryl Zaret, but when I did the movies or the porn pictures I became Breezy Cummins.”

“I was pretty tame in High School, partly because my parents scared me and made me cow-tow to their every instruction. I wanted to be a good girl and please everyone. I got good grades, and even graduated High School and started college a year early – when I was seventeen.”

Nadia brought us all bath towels she’d discovered in the various bathrooms. I wrapped one around Claire’s nude shoulders. I still held her tightly to me, and I could tell she took comfort from my closeness. Her lower half was still distractingly nude.

Claire continued, “Anyway, as soon as I hit college I realized how oppressed I’d been. I mean I knew while it happened, but now I ran into classmates who really had a lot of freedom growing up, and it showed in how sophisticated they were, and how cool. They were all experienced in sex, and I was still a virgin. I wanted to change – to be more normal, but I went overboard.”

“I developed a secret life from what my parents knew. To them, I was Miss Goody Two-Shoes and a good student. In reality, I developed a wild streak. I became a party girl. I somehow kept the drugs and alcohol under control, but everything else went on with no holds barred. I know some of my friends thought I was a slut, but at the time I thought I even had that under control.”

Claire took a deep breath, and I could tell she’d started to pull away from the dark place her emotions had taken her moments earlier. She continued, “After one fraternity party – really an orgy where a bunch of us girls were fair game for every cock in the place, my friend Marge asked whether I wanted to make some extra money – a lot of it. She waxed on about how I had what it would take to do really well at whatever it was she was talking about – my age, my endowed breasts, my trim body, and even my hairstyle – I was a brunette.”

We nodded for her to continue.

“I told Marge it sounded interesting. I had been working part time as a waitress to earn some money so I wouldn’t bankrupt my parents with tuition and my living expenses. If I could get a job that paid more, I’d do it.” She sighed, “Oh, I was so naïve.”

“Marge took me in hand the following week, and we drove into downtown LA. We walked into a makeshift movie studio, and there were several ‘actors’ and ‘actresses’ standing around nude. I was shocked, but tried to hide it. Marge introduced me to them as though their nudity was no big deal. They seemed to know her really well, were friendly to me, and she got happy welcomes from everyone. And then, a guy named Andre came out of an office – he was the boss. Marge introduced me to him, and told him she thought I had what it took and so on. I still hadn’t caught on; remember, I’d grown up very naïve about this part of life. Up to that point, I’d never even seen a porn film.”

“Andre looked me over and asked me a few questions about my acting ability. Even with the nude people standing around, the set with a big bed in it, and all these questions about my acting, would you believe I still didn’t get it. I was so dense.” She rolled her eyes and another tear rolled down one cheek.

Crystal asked gently, “When did you catch on?”

Claire actually chuckled in the memory. “Andre asked whether Marge and I would do a scene with Jake, apparently one of the naked guys standing a few feet away. He went on, “We’ll call it a screen test, but if it’s any good we’ll use it and, Honey, we’ll pay you a hundred bucks cash.’”

“Well the idea of making a quick one-hundred dollars rang my cash register. Working part-time as a waitress, it would have taken me a whole week to make that, even with tips.”

“Marge asked Andre how he wanted us to start. He said to her, ‘Why don’t the two of you be eating each other in a sixty-nine, when Jake comes in and finds you. Play with him, both of you suck him a bit, and then let Jake fuck both of you in a whole lot of different positions. The two of you keep up the ‘lezzie’ side thing too, even sitting on each other’s faces as he screws the one on the bottom. Just remember, after Jake penetrates, everyone’s pussy has to have something in it – tongue, cock, or fingers. You girls do each other.’”

Claire shook her head in disbelief, “All of sudden, I got ‘IT’. Everything clicked, and suddenly all the strange things going on at the studio made sense. At first, I felt shocked, but I tried not to show it. I bet I blushed a whole lot, but other than that I played it cool. I had some decisions to make and fast.”

Ellen said, “So you decided to play.”

Claire nodded “Yes. I joined Marge, and we stripped bare ass in front of all these people I’d never met. I kept telling myself that it wasn’t too different from the little orgy at the fraternity a week or so earlier. Some overweight but sexy girl I later learned was called a ‘Fluffer’ started to give Jake a blowjob to harden him up for us. Marge pulled me over to this big bed with a garish bedspread on it. I remember she asked me, ‘Top or bottom?’ I’d never been with a girl before, so I told her to pick, and seconds later I was on the bottom as Marge ate me out and stuck her pussy into my face.”

Edie asked, “Did you like it?”

“Heck, yes. I loved sex. My hormones were raging. Even today, I’m a nymphomaniac, but I only suspected it then.” She paused to collect her thinking. “Two guys with really fancy video cameras moved around us, filming the two of us from every angle. Marge would remind me to not look at the cameras and to focus on her or Jake, and to put on a great sex show for the cameras. After a while, I actually forgot about the cameras and just focused on the sex – the wonderful sex. Jake joined us, and we had a fabulous ménage a trois. I can still remember, he had a big cock and brought me to a couple of real orgasms. Eventually, he came in what Andre called the “Money Shot” – shooting his cum all over Marge’s and my face. We licked and lapped at him with the cum running down our faces. I’d tasted cum before, so it was no big deal. Marge and I even snowballed for one camera.”

“After we ended, Andre came up to me and fingered my erect nipples while we talked. He said, ‘Honey, we are going to make you a star. You can make a whole lot of money in this business. Marge is right; you’re a natural.’”

“With those words, he pulled out his wallet and peeled off TWO-hundred dollar bills and gave them to me – twice what I’d expected if, and only if I did a good job. Andre asked when I could come back. I suddenly had some acting gigs – some with Marge and some with others I’d meet sometime.”

I said to Claire, being careful to keep a happy lilt in my voice, “And thus was born the prettiest porn star of all time.” I leaned in and kissed her.

Claire said, “Yeah, porn star and an escort – helping out in a side business Andre ran, or rather putting out in his side business. The money was so much more than I ever dreamed of making.”