Chapter 30 - Adrian

I’d eaten two slices of cake, nine pieces of candy, and seven sips of syrup-sweet whiskey and for the first time in my life, I was sick of sugar. I didn’t have social media, so I scrolled through my camera roll, which was mostly pictures of fish. I didn’t take many pictures, so I did it twice. Then I researched guitars, and then the kitchen got so loud and full of people the walls started to press in, so I got up and slipped through the sliding glass door.

The backyard was moderately quiet and pleasantly dark. The sound of night gave way only to the muffled clatter of kitchen behind glass, and the nothingness of the clear sky was pricked only by a few dim stars. The light from the windows and a few lazily strung Christmas lights skimmed the patio but didn’t quite reach the grass.

I claimed a dirty lawn chair at the end of the patio, facing away from the house. Tilting my head back, I counted stars, taking sporadic sips of my drink that made me shiver with warmth until only the tips of me were cold. I pulled my sweatband over my ears.

The volume of party chatter increased as the door slid open and was muffled again a moment later. I turned to assess the invader. It was a jittery guy wearing a Gap sweatshirt and Adidas sandals over his socks. He appeared to be taking to himself, mumbling under his breath while he smoked a cigarette. My eyes affixed to the mesmerizing movements of its glowing lit end as it danced and bobbed with his hand movements and his pacing, up and down the patio.

“Excuse me,” I said.

Startled, he looked at me. “Oh, sorry. What’s up?”

I nodded at his hand. “Can I have one of those?”

“Sure, man.” He approached me and held out an open pack with a few cigarettes loosely rolling around inside. I took one. “Need a light?”

“Yeah.”

He held a real, Zippo lighter in front of my face. He twitched it open with a clink of metal and flicked it. Watching the fire tremble, I put one the end of the cigarette into the flame, the other between my lips, and inhaled. The paper caught. Smoke rushed into my chest. It tasted bitter but didn’t burn.

The guy plopped down in a chair next to me and tilted his own face to the sky. “It’s such bullshit,” he grumbled.

I was examining the embers at the end of my little acrid tube. “What is?”

“Everything, basically.” He took a long drag and flicked his cigarette. Tiny sparks bounced across the ground. “But especially my friend’s new boyfriend. He’s a fucking douche and she can’t see it. Just now, even, he was literally carrying her over his shoulder like a neanderthal.”

“Damn.”

“You know, I only came out tonight ‘cause I wanted to hang out with her. But nooo. And wanna know the worst part? He’s in our film class, so I get to watch this shit all semester. Or at least until he inevitably breaks her heart and she comes crawling back to me for a shoulder to cry on. Yippee.”

I wasn’t really listening. I was holding my little kindling an inch from my face, feeling tingly. “Yeah. Damn, that sucks.”

He looked at me. “You okay, man?”

“Yeah.” I broke out of my spell and quickly sucked on the cigarette again then sent sparks scattering. I looked at my phone. It was 12:01 AM. “It’s my birthday,” I said.

“Oh, shit! Well, happy birthday, man.”

“Thanks.”

“I’ll cheers to that.” He held out his bottle of beer. I tapped my cup to it, and we both took a sip.

He was quiet for a bit. Venting had seemingly helped him calm down. I asked, “Are cigarettes drugs?”

“They have nicotine. So, yes.”

“Fuck,” I said, laughing a little.

“Why, what’s up?”

“I’m not supposed to do drugs.”

“You and me both, buddy.” He took another long drag and exhaled a gray cloud of smoke into the air. “So, who do you know at the party?”

“Umm...” The stars winked in and out. “Cassie, I guess.”

“Oh, nice. That’s Lily’s roommate. My friend’s, I mean.”

I turned my head and my eyes wearily refocused on him. My brain slowly put the pieces together. “Wait ... Is your name Randy, by chance?”

“Yeah...” He narrowed his eyes. “Do we know each other?”

“No.” I turned away. “I know Lily, too. And her, uh ... boyfriend.”

He softened, laughing. He probably thought I was in the same boat as him.

“Um ... Avett’s not that bad once you get to know him,” I said. He looked at me with suspicion, as if he had a fuck of a hard time believing that. “He probably just doesn’t like you because of your dad.”

“My dad?”

Fuck, I needed to shut up. Why was whiskey so strong? I put my cup on the ground and tried to nudge it out of reach with my toe. Then I pulled my knees into my chest. “Yeah, apparently your dad saw her at the store and complimented her and he thought it was creepy.”