Chapter 1

August 16, 2018

“No, Sandy. You should do it. Look at everything you’ve given me.”

Charlie looked at me, his wife of nearly 20 years, then softly added, “I don’t keep track of such things, but I’ve had sex and shared loving with more than 20 girls and women in the past year plus, and nearly all of that in our house ... with you watching! The compound’s had only a few other guys, so if we were keeping score, I’d be way ahead.”

Even more gently, the man said, “Honey, I love you and I’ll probably love you to the day I die. However, we’ve learned, haven’t we, over the past year plus, that our marriage, our ... love for each other requires fidelity of love, not necessarily of sex. Love of my life, I’m not pushing you, just encouraging you. Yes, the result of you going for it makes it a lot easier to reach our goals for the big, secret project, and that’s a good thing. However, if you don’t want this at least somewhat for yourself, even a lot for yourself, then it’s probably something you shouldn’t do. However, I know you, Love. I know you want this. Can you tell me you don’t?”

I looked at my wonderful husband and thought hard about his question. I knew the excitement that the ... proposal engendered in me, the ... extreme sexual excitement. The love of my life was correct. I had told him on ... countless occasions that I would give him as many women as he could want, and then want to give him more. He has been so wonderful to and for me. He tempers some of my more outré yearnings and goes along, usually whole-heartedly, with others.

You, whoever you are reading this ... journal of my ... life in the autumn of 2018 will probably not have read my daughter’s diary. Hell, I’ve not read her diary, but I know of it. Apparently, it’s huge. However, had you read it, you might understand more aspects of my story, more ... much more than I’ll write in this ... record of, as Charlie described it, my infidelity of sex. I’ve been unfaithful to him in that way once before but without his contemporaneous knowledge – unlike this time – or his approval. And I did that without truly wanting it and for an incredibly stupid reason. What can I say? I got lost in my career. When I finally told him, scared to death of the consequences, he accepted my mistake. That’s it. Just accepted it and wanted to move on. I insisted that he punish me. He demurred. I insisted more ... insistently. He got mad and gave me a punishment. It was a punishment that took me a long time to understand, but when I did, all was forgiven ... and I could finally forgive myself and enjoy what he wanted me to enjoy: The other two guys in our compound. It was so obvious when I allowed my mind to comprehend my “punishment,” one that even Beth, my daughter, understood from the get-go, one that my first wife understood from day one, one that my other wives also understood from the beginning.

Are you shocked, unknown reader of my journal? If so, get over it. I have a husband and three wives. I’ve always thought of those wives as Charlie’s, primarily because they are women I encouraged Charlie to take as wives, but he and Carol, our first co-wife, convinced me that we women also had strong connections to each other, not just to our shared husband. Besides being wives to Charlie, we are wives to each other ... and in all ways.

Now, with my husband’s encouragement and support, I will be leaving our compound of love to live with ... another man. Not forever, just for a bit over a month. While I am not sure what to expect with him, that uncertainty is part of why I find this new chapter in my life exciting ... and Charlie understands that. Goddess, I love him so much!

Perhaps I owe this journal an explanation.

I have been married to Charlie Williams since August 19, 2000. However, I have been in love with him since shortly after I met him, after I asked him on a date. That was the first time I had asked a guy on a date, and the last time. Every time I think about how I almost did not manage the nerve to ask him out, I get the heebie-jeebies, because my life has been so wonderful attached to his. We have one child – one genetic child, a daughter, Beth, who is now 15. I had complications during the pregnancy and was advised not to attempt another. We were devastated, as we both wanted three or four children. He was adamant about not risking my life and, once I agreed, he got a vasectomy. Just in case future medical advancements could help us, he donated sperm to a bank from which we may draw should we ever find the want or need. There is a high probability we will use that sperm in the future ... for one of our daughters.

Yes, my life ... our life together is ... complicated, and that is putting it mildly. We have Beth, our actual daughter, but also consider her four best friends, Rhee, Gracey, Liya, and Heather, as adopted daughters. All five of them love Charlie greatly and have for longer than we were aware. Are you ready for one of many facets of our lives you might find shocking? All five of our daughters are also ... our lovers, particularly Charlie’s (yes, in addition to his four wives). Liya has been crazy in love with Charlie for a long time and Heather, the newest of the Gang of Five, is also crazy about him. Unlike Liya, Heather is unsure if she wants children. Liya is adamant about having at least one of Charlie’s children ... and I love that Charlie will get to have at least one more child. Liya insists that I will also be something of a parent to that child, and I love her so much for that.