Chapter 3

“I can’t wear this to a party, it might be handy if I was breastfeeding twins again though,” Andi was trying on dresses to wear to the New Year’s Eve party and the current selection showed incredible amounts of side-boob from multiple directions.

“You look darling!” said Macy.

“Paul will like it a lot, but not out in public.” She was wearing a copper sequin plunging cowl neck, a backless minidress that Macy picked out for her. More of her skin was exposed than covered. The neckline plunged to her naval and whenever she moved, one of her nipples popped out. The dress was backless, and the beltline was so low the dimples above her rear cheeks could be seen.

“I like it. You should get it.”

“This makes my legs look fat. Why did you pick this?” demanded Andi.

Macy smiled. “Because look!”

Lucy stepped out of the dressing room wearing a gold sequin plunging cowl neck, backless minidress, the same dress as Andi, just a different color. Its plunging neckline showed off her incredible abs, and the backless dress showed off her muscular back. “I feel so naked,” she said sadly. She turned to Andi. “One wrong move and you show off everything you have, and I show off everything I wished I had.”

“You look beautiful! If we do something with your hair,” said Macy, taking Lucy’s hair out of its perpetual bun and she began teased it with a comb until she was satisfied. “Just wait,” said Macy and she ducked into the dressing room and came out moments later in the same dress but this time in silver, which both Lucy and Andi said was beautiful on her.

“You forgot the important part,” said Macy, producing a roll of double-sided ‘Fashion Tape.’ She applied pieces here and there, using tape to hold the dresses in place on the doctors. “How is that?”

Andi and Lucy moved around and found that they were still covered. The dresses stayed in place. Macy handed her phone to the salesgirl and asked for her to take a photo of the three of them together. She took a few minutes trying to get Lucy and Andi to strike poses worthy of a professional model, then stepped between them, struck a beautiful pose, and nodded to the salesgirl. “Everyone say ‘penis’!”

The photo was beautiful, the three of them in saucy poses and huge smiles, but the following photograph was even better, Andi and Lucy in a fit of giggles and Macy in the middle dumbfounded, eyes rolled skyward, that two medical professionals were giggling over an anatomical term.

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When Andi got home, the big beautiful blue spruce in the parlor was gone; the ornaments, garlands and lights were boxed up and hauled off to storage, the tree disappeared, and the twins were in tears. “How can your unicorn have a magic castle if the giant Christmas tree is gone?” they cried. That logic confused poor Paul nearly to tears, but Andi was used to it. The twins are Sandy and Madeline, were darling little five-year-old girls with bright blond hair and were much smaller than the average five-year-old, and they’re also much brighter. They’re both math wizards for their age and read reluctantly at a third-grade level. Sandy was outgoing and vivacious. Madeline was reserved and thoughtful, but together they could be little terrorists if they put their minds to it.

“Did you girls help daddy take down the tree?”

“Yes, but we didn’t want to,” said Madeline angrily.

Andi crouched down and gathered the girls to her. “But we had to take the tree down so we could go on vacation, and ride the boat, and play on the beaches...” encouraged Andi.

“And see Anna?” said Sandy.

“And Ella?” said Madeline.

“And Minnie?” they said in unison.

“Why don’t you girls bring your dirty laundry down here so we can get ready to go see Anna, Ella, and Minnie.”

The girls took off like twin rockets, leaving new dad Paul bewildered in their wake. “How did you do that? I’ve been trying all day to light a fire under them.”

“They’re sort of self-igniting, if you know where the secret buttons are located,” said Andi, giving Paul a hug. “One of those buttons is at a theme park,” she said as they kissed. “This is one of those shoals we mentioned that you need to navigate through.”

“Is Lucy around?” asked Paul after they kissed again.

“Sure, why?”

“Why don’t you two meet me in the kitchen. I have two more boxes to hand out.”

Andi looked perplexed but found Lucy, down on the treadmill as usual, and asked her to come back upstairs when she was done with her workout. Soon the two women joined Paul, who had two gaily wrapped packages about six inches long, two inches high, and three inches wide. Lucy and Andi’s minds both went straight to “Dildo,” and they started giggled again. He handed one box to each woman, who found that the boxes were quite heavy for their size, too heavy for a dildo. Lucy opened her first and found that it was a box of business cards. Andi’s were the same.