Chapter 8

Officer selection felt like a very different test to any other Andrew had ever taken. Academic tests were completely different in that there was not a direct link to a job at the end of it. With first the Briefing and then Main Board there was an explicit link to the next stage. It wasn’t just about passing the test, it was what that test meant in terms of his future career. There was an immediacy to the importance of passing the test. And as he had learned over the course of many camps, he was going to be a soldier first and an engineer second. Andrew always thought back to Captain Nuffield, nearing four years earlier. He was still the prototypical Combat Engineering Officer. Andrew knew that it was due to him, and his deftness of touch when dealing with his men, that had first made Andrew seriously consider being a Territorial Army Combat Engineering Officer. But first he had to pass Main Board and the Territorial Army Commissioning Course. Nothing to it!

It had been emphasised repeatedly to Andrew by the Permanent Staff at the OTC that he was competing against a standard, not the other people on the course. Therefore teamwork was key. Now it was integral in several of the tests but it was also key in just working together as a group, supporting each other, listening, no dick moves, tackling things as a squad. Of the eight of them in his assigned group, three others had been members of an OTC and had been given the same instruction, two of the other four understood it immediately and were on board, but it took the last two a while to embrace it. The guy who was the most ambivalent about working together didn’t pass, and sadly one of the other OTC guys cocked up his Plan-Ex, he chose the wrong week to have a nightmare. But the rest of it went just as Rollie, Jack and the Permanent Staff had told him. The aptitude tests were straightforward, there was constant time pressure but they were straightforward. The physical tests were fine, the sit-ups and push ups easy. The obstacle course was the only thing where Andrew struggled. During one of the exercises he had stupidly put his hand on the ground and it had been trodden on. For at least the second time his left pinkie finger was dislocated. It was strapped to his ring finger and he was told to carry on. It hurt like hell but the direct impact was only on gripping things. Thus the obstacle course was tougher than he had thought it would be. But there was no alternative but to grimace and bear it. On one of the other groups there was a twisted knee which doomed that candidate’s attempt. Andrew’s injury was manageable, sore but manageable.

The Command Tasks and the Planning Exercise went well, not perfect but good. As noted, one guy went down a blind alley and doomed himself, but the rest of the group got through okay. There were many things Andrew had been told or briefed about in advance but another key thing was to do your best on a test, and regardless of how you did, move on. Rollie compared it to being like a goldfish. Get to the start of the next test and just forget about what had happened already. So there was no beating himself up over missed things, and he did the best he could on the obstacle course, the main challenge was he was struggling to grasp the rope properly. Everybody had to do a five minute mini lecture, the lecturette, on a topic chosen for them from their CV. As half the course had done the Duke of Edinburgh Award, they chose Andrew’s hockey coaching as his lecturette. He could have talked about that for 30 minutes never mind five. But it was straightforward, and was much commented on at the course dinner later that night in the Mess. Which left the interviews.

The Vice-President of the Selection Board, a Major, did the interview on motivations, why Andrew wanted to be an officer, and they talked about his interest in the Royal Engineers. He never came right out and said it but Andrew got the sense that they were checking for people that were applying for a commission because they didn’t know what else to do. As Andrew could talk about the previous eight plus years this wasn’t an issue for him. As always, Nuffield figured prominently in his talks. But there was no issue and the easy interview was dealt with.

The other two interviewers were Captains and with them things were a little more unusual. The Educational Advisor interview was a review of his educational achievement, the name rather gave it away. Already having a degree from the Open University as well as his results so far from Cambridge meant that Andrew didn’t have a lot to worry about. He had a lot of questions to answer but it was straightforward. The Captain then asked Andrew about his 4^th year project and that really made him sit up straight. Andrew guessed he had more time with him than anyone else. But he could answer all the questions, after all if he could survive Professor Upshaw then this was simple.

The final interview was the non-academic review of his CV. This was where they checked that there was no CV padding, so there were lots of questions around the other activities or accomplishments listed. The hockey coaching was discussed, the Duke of Edinburgh quickly dealt with but the Captain asked a lot of questions regarding Andrew’s volunteering. Talking about cancer was no longer something that Andrew was reluctant to do, it was something he had survived and was able to talk about it. What was interesting was how uncomfortable the Captain was not just with his having survived cancer but in then volunteering in a cancer ward. The final aspect of his CV that he wanted to review about was Andrew’s summer job. That Andrew had Top Secret clearance already threw him completely.

“When did you receive Top Secret clearance?”

“Last spring sir. I had been granted Secret clearance two years earlier and they wanted to assess whether summer students could pass Positive Vetting.”

Andrew knew that the Captain had about a million questions but would realise that he couldn’t ask any of them. Andrew was fine telling him that he had worked at the MoD Police for two summers and had been assigned to support services. But when the Captain asked if Andrew what he had done the previous summer then all he could say was he wasn’t authorised to talk about it. However much Andrew had practised those answers it still sounded like he was full of it.

But he got through the three interviews okay.

The Mess dinner for the course was much more fun than Andrew had anticipated. It was on the evening of the third day and they had an early start the following morning so it was not too boozy. 80% of the people there were solid blokes. And yes it was all male. Women joined The Women’s Royal Army Corp and so male and female officer candidates were assessed and trained separately. There were a couple of guys who were loud and full of themselves but what was interesting was that they were noticeable by being the exception. Most of the rest of the course were there to do well, hopefully pass but were not braggarts. Andrew became friends with two of the guys from his assessment group and they kept in touch.

He didn’t find out whether he had passed while he was there, unlike the Briefing where there was an exit interview and you are told your Category. So on Friday lunchtime Andrew was on the train back to Paddington, just under two hours with a lot of stops along the way. It was over.

What did cross his mind was the level of preparation from Cambridge University OTC. He had been very thoroughly prepared for the three and a half days. The only awkward moments had been talking about his work with the MoD, which was inevitable, and the struggles on the obstacle course, which was his own stupid fault. His OTC had prepared him to pass, and to pass comfortably. His result, whether he had been selected for attending Sandhurst, would be waiting for him when they all got back from the ‘letting the families know’ tour and Suzanne’s graduation.

But all thoughts about Sandhurst and timing of the commissioning courses went out of Andrew’s head when he walked into the house. Ara was on the phone talking a mixture of French and English, Suzanne beside her, trying to hear the other side of the conversation as well.

“Hang on Olivia, Andrew has just returned. Here he is.”

The phone was thrust at him and the two of them stood beside him, doing what exactly? Checking his phone manner? It was tough at first for Andrew to understand what Olivia was saying, she seemed upset, and her French was harsh and fast. Finally he was able to understand that her interviews had not gone well. What exactly had gone wrong was not yet clear. Ara and Suzanne were trying to talk to him at the same time that Olivia was venting down the phone. As a result he understood nothing.

“Invite her down for the weekend.”

Ara managed to make herself heard. He looked in surprise, ignoring Olivia on the phone. He covered the mouthpiece.

“Really?”

“Yes, she got some patronising arsehole at one of her interviews, who all but told her to stop playing at being an engineer and go home and have babies.”

If there was something that was going to unite Suzanne, Ara and Olivia idiot men would be it.

“What do I tell her? What do we tell her?”

At no point during these questions had Olivia stopped haranguing Andrew about men.

“The truth. Do you trust her?”

He nodded.

“Were you going to tell her at some point this year?”

He thought and then nodded.

“Invite her.”

It took a bit of convincing but Olivia agreed to get the late afternoon train down to London and Andrew would meet her at King’s Cross. He finally got off the phone.

“Are you sure about this?”

Suzanne nodded.

“We have to find the balance between discreet and ashamed. I am not ashamed of us and Olivia is one of your closest friends at Cambridge. Plus, it is a chance for us to practice before we visit Ara’s grandfather next week.”

“How was the Main Board? Do you think you passed?”

Andrew showed them his pinkie finger and explained the four days. Rather than sympathy the two of them started to laugh.

“So on the Friday at the end of next week your final degree classification will be posted at Cambridge and you will be in Edinburgh explaining yourself to your grandmother. And then on Saturday you find out if you have been accepted as an officer candidate at Sandhurst and you will not be here, instead you will be trying to explain our sordid little situation to my father. Who will think Ara and I are innocents, led astray by the big bad man.”

Andrew started to laugh with them.

“I was about to threaten you with a spanking but I am going to have to think of something new that you don’t want. How about you are not going to get a spanking.”

Suzanne just laughed and turned to Ara.

“Ara, I have been terribly naughty.”

Andrew shook his head and pulled the two of them in for a hug.

“I have missed you two.”

The three of them went upstairs and showed each other how much. He really was the luckiest man on the planet. At 5.45 Andrew saw Olivia get off the Cambridge train and having spotted him, never much of a challenge, she came over. She mumbled a greeting but with the evening rush-hour they didn’t talk other than innocuous chit chat until they reached daylight at Green Park station.

“How are you doing?”

“I am disappointed, annoyed, sad, angry, pick any variation that you want from there.”

“What triggered this?”

“The dismissive attitude of most of the men that I dealt with in the interview process. Four firms, three interviews, several with multiple people, so close to 20 people. Only two women, neither of whom were engineers, they were the Personnel people. And of the rest, a third were unintentionally sexist, another third, probably more, were deliberately sexist, and two were incredibly decent. Actually I don’t know if they were incredibly decent but compared to the other people I had to deal with they were. The best way to describe how I feel is disillusioned. I am wondering if the last four years has been a waste.”

Andrew didn’t know what to say to all that, sorry seemed trite.

“Where are we, where are we going? Do your friends live around here?”

They had reached Berkeley Square and so were within two minutes of the house.

“Just round the back here. One more minute.”

Andrew got to the front door and with a deep breath he showed Olivia into their home. Leading her down to the kitchen where Ara and Suzanne were waiting for them. Another deep breath.

“Olivia, this is Suzanne Jenner and Arabella Lindsey. Ara, Suzanne, this is Olivia Dupree my closest friend on the course at Cambridge.”

Everyone was polite but he could see Olivia looking around the kitchen and dining room in suspicious confusion. Andrew had no idea how to begin the tale, never mind telling her about Ara and Suzanne, how did he explain the house. He was having severe second thoughts about the wisdom of all this.

“Come and sit down Olivia. It is great to finally meet you. Andrew has told us lots about you.”

“Thank you. I wish I could say the same about the two of you, but Andrew has told me nothing about his flatmates, well housemates.”

Deep breaths were the order of the day, Andrew watched Ara take one.

“Suzanne and I are more than just housemates with Andrew. The three of us have moved in and are living together. As a three.”

Olivia looked surprised for a second but recovered quickly. Looking over at him she smirked.

“I don’t know why I am surprised. Do you say congratulations at moments like these? If so, then congratulations. You both must know what a nice man he is, well other than his habit of showing his derriere to the world.”

As a way of breaking the tension it worked. Andrew was despatched to open the wine as the three of them laughed it up. When he returned with four glasses Suzanne was explaining, as concisely as possible, the background to their story. If nothing else it was distracting Olivia from being annoyed at the world in general, and male engineers specifically. Andrew sat back and let the three of them continue to get to know each other. They started on jobs.

“No neither of us are engineers. I did International Relations and Suze has a joint degree in Geography and Public Policy.”

Ara sounded very proud of Suzanne.

“This is a lovely place, is it just the three of you?”

That question was not the question she really wanted answered.

“It is not just Ara and I that Andrew has been keeping a secret. Come on tell Olivia.”

Olivia was looking at him curiously. Summarising whole swathes of his teenage years he managed to tell Olivia the gist of the story in about seven minutes.

“You already have a degree?”

He nodded.

“You made some money selling software?”

He nodded again.

“And so you bought a house in the centre of London?”

He felt like a bobble-head toy.

“And you kept this a secret for all four years?”

Once again.

“Merde!”

Olivia looked back and forth before throwing up her hands in an incredibly Gallic gesture. Suddenly she stopped and looked at him sharply.

“Why are you telling me now?”

“Suzanne and Ara said I should invite you down for the weekend since you needed a break. And we are using you as our guinea pig. You are the very first person that we have told about the three of us.”

Olivia’s hand went to her mouth.

“Really?”

They all nodded.

“After the May Ball we are heading north to tell the families. We decided to practice on you.”

“Nobody knows?”

“No.”

“Oh, my. How will they react?”

They all practised their worried smiles. At this point Andrew was discretely told to piss off for a while and let the three of them talk. He didn’t intend to take a nap but that is what ended up happening, too many early mornings with the Army. He started awake when he felt someone shake his shoulder.

“Sorry to startle you Andrew.”

Olivia was standing beside him, holding two cups of coffee.

“Can we talk for a bit?”

He nodded, levered himself upright and took one of the cups.

“Thanks. Just us?”

She nodded.

“As you can imagine today has been quite the day. First of all it is pretty clear that the three of you have something special. It is unlike anything I have heard of before, but if it works for the three of you then great. But that was easy to deal with compared to finding out about your life before Cambridge. Why did you tell me now?”

“I was going to tell you at some point. For us to have a friendship beyond university I would have to tell you. We weren’t always going to meet at the pub or a restaurant. I would have had you round here at some point, and probably soon, before the end of the summer. This is my life, I am not ashamed of it but at the same time I didn’t want it to be known, to be speculated over, while I was at university. I mean I bought this place when I was still 15, fixed it up and then rented it out for five years. It was only last summer that I finally got the chance to live in it. If I had told everyone in 1^st year all we could have done was come and stood outside the door.”