Chapter 15

When they got to the bedroom Andrew sent both Ara and Suzanne to the bathroom, telling them to clean thoroughly. Suzanne had talked about him being able to turn his dominance on and off. Their travels had limited their ability to play and he knew instinctively that Suzanne especially was getting antsy. As Andrew pulled various things out of cupboards and drawers he stopped trying to plan out the evening and decided to go with his instincts. When Suzanne and Ara came out of the bathroom he helped them both with their cuffs before strapping the playsuit on Suzanne and the corset on Ara. But he didn’t clip either of them into place yet. He pulled Suzanne down to the end of the bed and knelt between her thighs to check that she was lubricated. That took all of one lick as she was more than ready. Plunging into her in one thrust Andrew pulled her tight against him, her legs straight up his body.

“Kiss her, squeeze her nipples.”

Ara needed no second invitation and as he stood there fucking Suzanne Andrew watched the two women he loved kissing passionately, Ara’s right hand squeezing Suzanne’s nipples, back and forth. It felt right. He could see both Ara and Suzanne radiating happiness but was sure that he was as well. The three of them were happy and Andrew didn’t want to have to explain to people about their life, even friends and family, he wanted to live the life. It didn’t matter who triggered who’s orgasm but they came within moments of each other.

“The quicker you get me hard again the quicker you get fucked.”

Andrew sat at the end of the bed, letting the world come back into focus but Ara was on him in a flash. He was still sensitive when she started, it was almost painful to start. But between looking down at Ara, and Suzanne lying beside him exuding ripe sensuality, he was soon hard again. Andrew helped Ara to her feet and, standing in front of her, he took first one hand and clipped the cuff behind her back followed by the other. Ara didn’t have Suzanne’s blissful expression but instead it was a sigh and a smile. Once she was up on the end of the bed, he pulled her to the edge before pushing into her hot flesh.

On a good night Andrew knew he could come four times, sometimes he could fuck a fifth time but it was almost impossible for him to come from it. It was the nature of male biology, or at least his biology, and however willing the spirit, you can’t raise the worn out and drained. Dominance for him was not about getting off. For Andrew dominance was exactly what he had scolded Suzanne about all those years ago. ‘Just because you are tied up it doesn’t mean you get to come’. By then that had morphed and changed into exactly that. By submitting, giving up control, he wanted to reward Ara and Suzanne, and reward them with as many orgasms as possible. Sure, he had played denial but it was not him. He wanted to give women pleasure. Leslie had utterly changed Andrew’s brain chemistry that day back in January 1979 when she talked about sex. With nothing to compare it to, he had listened to everything she said and treated it as gospel.

So yes, Andrew was dominant in the bedroom with them both but his goal was to reward them. And here Leslie’s talk was mixed in with urban legend and scientific fact. Women don’t come as easily as men. There may have been many more but he could only remember two obvious fake orgasms from women in all his time with them. And the only really blatant one was Imogen at university in his 1^st year. Andrew knew that he had a limited number of orgasms in him, and also knew that he wasn’t marathon man, at least the first couple of times. So in his mind, he felt he had an obligation. Andrew thought about many things when he was fucking, but the physiological, the biological, was only a small part of it. Yes there was the sense of ‘bloody hell this feels fantastic’, it was impossible for that not to be there but it was the sex equivalent of background radiation. He knew it was there but it didn’t overwhelm him.

Andrew always felt the obligation when he assumed control of either Suzanne or Ara’s sexuality. That trust was the sexual pinnacle and whatever else happened it was still the most profound thing. So he physically fucked on autopilot while mentally he was always thinking. As Andrew fucked Ara he wanted to engage both her and Suzanne’s minds.

“Suzanne, spread your legs in front of Ara. Tease her, see how close you can get to her without her lips touching you.”

Suzanne lay back, her legs either side of Ara’s head and then edged her bum closer and closer to Ara’s face. She looked deliciously obscene, their combined come oozing out of her pussy. But then Andrew shoved extra hard and knocked Ara slightly forward. Her lips covered Suzanne’s pussy and he could hear her lapping away.

“I told you not to let Ara touch you Suzanne. That was very naughty.”

It was simple, almost formulaic, but triggers often are. Suzanne loved to be naughty, in her own mind she was rewarded for such naughtiness; but also Ara and her completed their own circular needs. However contrived the circumstances it worked on both of them. Suzanne came and Ara followed right behind, the physiological combined with the mental. And for Andrew the sheer sexual visual excess in front of him had him popping right behind them. Ara with her arms restrained behind her back, attached to her corset; Suzanne, her body highlighted and showcased by her playsuit, Ara’s face buried in her pussy; together it was all too much. Suzanne got to lie on him, Ara snuggled into his left shoulder. Suzanne folded her arms behind her back and waited for Andrew to clip her into place.

“Tell us what you are going to do with the chaise.”

“I had been aware of them before filming that week but I don’t know that I had ever actually seen one. What was most useful during the shoot was that it provided a visual barrier when I was being filmed. The back was high enough that I could be shot front on, we both could actually. The one we have bought has a lower back because we don’t have to worry about filming angles. I don’t think that we will do any act in a new or different way than we do in bed but it will be two new things. First is that it is all curvy and is just such a decadent piece of furniture. I think it will be comfortable to use if one of us is alone and just wants to read a book for instance. But when we are together we can try simple things like just pushing you forward over the back, it is the perfect height for me. I checked, the back is hip height. So for you and Ara your feet will be off the ground, just less control. A lot of the other positions will be fun to find out, to try, see what works and what doesn’t. Does it work for the two of you in ‘69’ for example? Something to explore. But for me the most important thing the chaise is going to do is fire up our imaginations. It is another one of those taboos that we all like breaking. Imagine we have fucked each other senseless the night before, there is cum and sweat on the chaise. But after cleaning it up it is still just a comfortable piece of furniture. We have people over and someone sits on the chaise. All you will be able to think about it was the night before. Every time someone just uses it as a seat then it will bring back the latest, or a favourite, debauched memory. And once they leave we will immediately make some more.”

“So it is just a prop?”

“Yes. It is no different than anything we end up buying for the dungeon. Sure there may be eyelets or rings to attach cuffs to, or tie rope to, but they are still just a prop. At the same time, the impact of the theatre of a situation is important. Think about it, imagine if we all stood up right now and walked down to the basement. I leave you both standing at the door, arms clipped behind your back. And then you watch me make preparations. You are standing there, vulnerable, both dreading and excited by my preparations. Maybe the first thing I do is put masks on you both. All you can do is hear as I as move about. Then suddenly you are lead forward to. But you don’t know what. The chaise is a prop, just like the dungeon will be full of props. But what they represent is submission, that loss of control. Both when it is just the two of you, or when it is all three of us.”

Andrew kissed them both before freeing Ara’s arms.

“Suzanne was very naughty, and you can deal with her tomorrow. But tonight I want you to help me, at least partially, okay?”

Ara kissed first Suzanne and then him.

“What time are you away in the morning?”

“I will be gone by 6.15, I need to be at King’s Cross for the 7.02 train.”

“So I will have 12 hours before Suze has to sit down?”

Andrew just smiled and Suzanne gulped, while trying not to smile too widely. It took a moment of organisation to get them into position. He leaned against the headboard, Suzanne’s head in his lap with Ara holding Suzanne’s hips like she was about to fuck her doggy style.

“On our next trip we need to buy one of these strap-on harnesses so that you can do this properly. Ara, you are going to fake fuck Suzanne, grab her hips and thrust forward. I want you to drive Suzanne forward so that my dick is shoved down her throat. Suzanne, clench your fist. When you want Ara to pull you off my dick open your fist, okay?”

Ara and Suzanne were trying to outdo each other with their excitement. Suzanne got the head of his dick in her mouth and then waited. Andrew held her head as well but there was a momentary pause. Then Ara realised that Suzanne’s hands were clenched into fists. She tightened her grip on Suzanne’s hips and thrust forward. It worked surprisingly well. There was a fraction of a second of resistance and then his dick went into Suzanne’s throat. Thank goodness he had come twice already. Between her tongue and her swallowing action Suzanne was doing a number on him. Utterly aided by the look of carnal happiness on her face. As she unclenched her fist she blinked at Andrew so his grip on her head loosened. After the sixth time he reached down and moved Suzanne. They finished up with the opposite of the earlier scene. He fucked Suzanne as she ate out Ara. After all that deep-throating, and with Suzanne and Ara once again in front of him, Andrew came hard and fast. Everything was unbuckled and unlaced and the three of them collapsed back into bed, Ara having sneaked a turn on his chest.

“I wanted you to switch but I need to practice that. I don’t know that I can do what Suzanne did, I have a strong gag reflex.”

“I will selflessly allow you to practice as much as you want.”

Such high-minded devotion shouldn’t have been rewarded with a whack. Andrew was up bright and early as usual kissing both Ara and Suzanne on the cheeks as they snuggled asleep in bed. He made it in time for the train up to Cambridge and as it trundled through the countryside he reflected on the last four years. What struck him the most was that for more than three and a half years he had thought of Cambridge as home. And yet since the Easter break, less than three months previously, that had totally changed. Particularly in Lent term Andrew knew he had been studying an unhealthy amount, and indeed that carried over to Easter term as he tried to get his project wrapped up. Just as he had sacrificed so much during his last four years at school to get the Computer Science degree which he did not use, so he had sacrificed so much in the four years there to get his Masters in Engineering and was now not going to use that either. He had achieved so much but there was a definite sense of ‘was it worth it?’. The Open University degree started as a way of studying computers and from that all of his experiences with computers had flowed. And with that all the money which allowed him the freedom to live his life any way he wanted. So he could rationalise that, mostly. But Andrew looked back on the four years at Trinity and Cambridge with mixed feelings. He had wanted to attend Cambridge University, and as a member of Trinity College, from the very first day he came to an Open Day event. He had made some incredible friends and enjoyed the four years in the town. And Cambridge had been a rock of stability, hard work as well obviously, when things were going to hell with his parents and he was unsure about the future direction of his life. But now that all of these immediate goals had been resolved he did wonder if his insane levels of studying had been worth it. As with all counterfactuals there could be a persuasive argument in support. As the train pulled into the station he mentally shrugged. This wasn’t him wondering whether to continue the level of studying at the end of 2^nd year. It was over, the time and effort expended. He had to accept it, in many ways accept it was who he was.

So for the last time Andrew walked past Downing College on the way into the town. Just as Regent Street became St. Andrew’s Street there was Peggy’s Café. He paused and wondered if the street name had subconsciously been part of the reason he had stopped that first time. It was about 20 minutes after the time he was normally there, or had been there, so most of the regulars he knew had come and gone. He didn’t stay, just popped in. He explained it was his graduation and with a final thank you was gone. The memories of his time there keeping a smile on his face as he cut over to Trinity. Andrew checked in at the Gate, greeting the porters before heading over to Hall for some breakfast. He had time for breakfast before heading out to collect his graduation hood. The Masters of Engineering hood was described as lined with bronze silk. It is pretty orange in other words. But there was no fur at least, which more than half the graduands would be wearing. He paid for breakfast and spotted Navya and Matt and wandered over.

“Where have you been?”

He hadn’t even got his bum on the bench.

“London. Well a whole bunch of other places as well. How are you?”

“Andrew, nobody knew where you disappeared to.”

“I said I would see you all today at the end of the Ball.”

“Really? Drunk at 7.00 in the morning? In fact we left about 4.30, I think.”

“What does it matter? I am here now. How are things?”

Andrew’s attitude seemed to be infuriating Navya.

“Why did you not attend the dinner last night?”

There had been a graduation dinner at College the night before the ceremony. He had decided not to attend as he wasn’t sure when they were returning from Scotland.

“I was up seeing family in Scotland, and I wasn’t sure I would be here. Why are you so wound up?”

Navya starting to choke on a piece of toast allowed Matt the chance to get a word in.

“How did you do?”

Meaning on the course.

“I have no idea, I came straight here from the station. I don’t know how anyone has done.”

“The reason that Nav is so frustrated is that we were asked if we knew where you were. You were recognised at the dinner for coming top in the College for all four years. I think they were a bit miffed that you had not shown up. Just a heads up in case you run into Cannon. Well you will run into Cannon but you know what I mean.”

“Okay. How did everyone else do?”

“I managed to squeak Distinction and am delighted. Nav?”

“I got a First for my final year.”

That was three Firsts and a 2:1 for her over the four years.

“Pedro? Justin?”

“Pedro got Distinction and Justin got Merit. I heard that Mandy got a 2:1 and Catherine got a First.”

A Masters with Distinction was the equivalent of a First, with Merit the equivalent of a 2:1. Everyone had done well.

“You really didn’t stop at the Department on the way here?”

“No I didn’t. Why?”

“So you have no idea that you came top of the course, beating Olivia who was second, and that you came top of the whole year, Olivia and the German from Emma were tied for second. And you were top by a ridiculous margin.”

Oh.

“Oh.”

He wasn’t sure what else to say.

“Like I said they were keen to laud you last night.”

Matt looked at Andrew closely.

“That is the bit that nobody gets Andrew. You work harder than anyone else here, drive yourself to the point of exhaustion but then afterwards are blithely unconcerned that you came top of the whole year. You are the best engineering student at Cambridge University, for fuck’s sake. Show some fucking emotion.”

“I am happy Matt, I really am.”

Navya interjected.

“Come on, Matt is right. We know you, have known you for all four years and we can hardly tell you are happy. Give us something.”

“It is the end of eight years of relentless studying. I am more relieved than happy. Relieved that it is all over, pleased for the recognition but four years at school led to four years here. Like a lot of us, when I turned up here I had no idea about life tomorrow. The day after we leave here for the final time. First and Second year were fun, hard work but fun. But the last two years have been very stressful as I tried to figure out what to do next. And this year in particular I probably bit off more than I could chew with my project. But the genesis of that was a terrorist bomb nearly six years ago. So even my project has been on my mind for years. So yes, everything you say about my behaviour is right. My compulsive personality drove me forward and I managed not to fuck it up, although it was close at times this year. But I would be just as happy, and maybe even happier, if Olivia had pipped me for first place. I really don’t care about that. I don’t know that I could have changed the way I studied. I think I am a little.”

Andrew stopped and thought about the next words.

“I was going to say damaged but that just sounds like I am full of myself. Let’s go with weird. People like to relax over some beers, with a novel, in front of the TV. For me studying always calmed and relaxed me. It doesn’t mean I can’t sit in front of the TV or play cards and drink too much red wine. But I enjoy studying and it never seemed a chore. I think that is the best that I can explain it. It is just who I am.”

He stopped again and sighed. There was the final piece.

“Studying is something that I can control. I don’t consciously think about it in this way but I am sure that most of the need to manically study is driven by my cancer, my survival and Faith’s death. I started studying the week before I found out that it had gone into remission. It is only in moments like this when I have to join the dots that I think about but I am sure there is a psychological need to study to keep cancer at bay. I don’t know.”

He shrugged and looked at the two of them. They appeared stunned at his honesty. Navya finally found her voice.

“Do you think you can cope without studying?”

“Yes, I think I can. Look, what are you doing tomorrow? Are both sets of parents here today?”

Both Matt and Navya laughed and the tension broke.

“If they were, we wouldn’t be. They have never met, I don’t think today in Nevile’s Court is the place for it. No, Mum and Dad are coming here today, we are staying with them tonight and tomorrow night and then going down to Barnstaple on Saturday. Why?”

“Come round tomorrow. Do you have some paper and a pen?”

Navya tore a page out of the back of her diary and Andrew wrote the address of the house, together with the phone number.

“Call tomorrow morning and I will meet you at Green Park station.”

He was saved from what he knew would be a relentless interrogation from Navya by the arrival of Pedro and Justin. Congratulations were passed back and forth and they sat down to finish breakfast. If only.

“McLeod.”

At least Matt had given him a heads up.

“Professor.”

“Could you spare me a moment of your time please?”

Asked politely but with no possibility of refusal. With a wink at the others Andrew stood and followed him out of Hall. Cannon started talking before they even got to his office.

“You were missed last night. Congratulations on your performance. It was outstanding.”

“Thank you sir.”

“You didn’t attend the dinner.”

He should have just asked the question.

“I was not sure that I would be back in time. I was in Scotland seeing family.”

Cannon nodded in acceptance but Andrew could tell that Cannon thought dinner with the Fellows of the College was more important than one with his family. They entered his office and Cannon seemed to calm. He offered Andrew a seat and sat opposite. Andrew said nothing and waited for him to start.

“You are the first student of the College in more than 15 years to be top in Engineering. Your project was of a very high standard.”

Cannon stopped.

“That is putting it mildly. The work on the possible manipulation of Mach Stems is extremely advanced. It would be, and will be, the basis for doctoral and post-doctoral research. But it also touched upon areas that the authorities do not wish to publicise. The Department has been instructed to restrict access to your final report.”

Andrew looked startled.

“You did an excellent job of showing that it may be possible to mitigate blast damage through manipulation of the Mach Stem. The other side of that is the way to enhance blast damage beyond that already created by the effect. The report will only be available for approved doctoral students.”