Chapter 11

Bob had dropped Erica off and picked her up the first time she went to Josh’s house. Megan did it on their second date. She wanted to see the house, and where it was, in town. It was a nice house in a nice part of town. To facilitate their third date, a dinner-and-something-else date, Megan called Mona directly. She identified herself and said, “Erica says she has fun with Josh and she asked if he could come to supper with us some night. I’d be delighted to meet him. She also says he’s an only child, like she is. Is there any particular day you’d like to have us entertain him long enough that you and your husband could have a date night?”

“Oh my!” said Mona. “I never thought of something like that. What a wonderful idea! I like you already!” Then she said, “I’ll talk to Dick and call you back, okay?”

“Perfect,” said Megan. “And if he has any allergies to foods that would be good for me to know, too. I don’t want my cooking to end him up in the hospital.”

“Thank you, but he’s not allergic to anything. I made sure he got to play in the dirt plenty when he was a child. His immune system is robust.”

“Okay. Talk to you soon.”

Megan hung up and had to face an impatient daughter.

“What did she say?”

“She liked the date night idea and she’s going to talk to her husband. Once they figure out what they want to do, she’ll call back and we’ll arrange a date.”

“Okay! Good!”

“You must really like this boy,” said Megan. “You’ve never acted like this.”

“Acted like what? I’m not acting weird.”

“Nobody said you’re acting weird,” said Megan. “You have never wanted to invite a boy to dinner. That is different. You’re standing here jumping around like you have to pee and interrogating me on the phone call I just had with his mother. That’s new, too. Do you get my drift?”

“Oh.” Erica looked around the dining room, where Megan was when she called Mona. “I guess you’re right. I never thought about a boy like I think about Josh. Actually, I never thought about any boys before at all. I mean I’ll go out with them, but I don’t expect anything to make my heart beat faster, you know?”

“And Josh does?”

“A little bit. I liked kissing him. Usually, when I kiss a boy I think about Bob and compare their kisses to his. Bob always wins. When I kissed Josh, though, all I thought about was him.”

“That’s good,” said Megan. “That means the attraction is genuine. You know I don’t mind what you do with Bob, but I also think it would be a lot healthier if you felt some attraction like that to a young man your own age.”

“I know, and I always poo-pooed it when you harped at me on that. I didn’t expect to meet anybody interesting until I got to college.”

“Well, enjoy him now. And Erica?”

“Yes?”

“He’s not Bob. If you treat him like you treat Bob it may be way too much. Go slowly, okay?”

“Well, you’re no fun,” said the teen.

Dick Penwillow was very interested in going on a date night with his wife, and not having to worry about Josh. Both parents knew he was plenty old enough to stay home alone, but he was their only child and they found that when they did that, they both kept thinking about him. Now they would have a chance to go out knowing Josh was with another family, who would take care of him.

Mona had found a symphony orchestral concert and Vivaldi’s Four Seasons was being played. It was being performed by a university orchestra, but they had a reputation for being pretty good.

“That will get us home around ten,” said Dick. “I was hoping to have some time to chase you around the kitchen table and ravage you.”

“Nothing would make me happier than trying to keep away from you and failing,” said Mona, with a kiss. “Let me see what I can do.”

What Mona did was talk to Megan about their plans. She fudged on the times, saying they might not get back until one or two A.M.

“It’s a Friday night,” said Megan. “My boyfriend will be here and I have an extra bedroom. I know this is probably way too soon in their relationship but he’d be welcome to spend the night and then I’ll bring him home around noon, Saturday, so you two have plenty of time to recuperate.”

“That’s an awful lot to ask for what was supposed to be a simple dinner date,” said Mona.

“They’d want him to stay a while after dinner anyway. My boyfriend operates Chambers Photography and Erica tells me Josh likes photography. I’m sure Bob would be happy to keep them busy, showing off his studio. It will be kind of like a sleepover, but not like a sleepover at all, if you know what I mean.”

“I do,” laughed Mona. “That sounds marvelous and I know Josh will be thrilled. If it really won’t be an imposition, then we’d love to do it.”

“Tell him to bring some clothes. He won’t need a sleeping bag unless he’s just used to using one when he sleeps over. I’ll take care of the rest.”

Mona didn’t tell Megan this would be the first time Josh had stayed away from home overnight, and that if he’d been told to bring a sleeping bag they’d have had to go buy one.

As can be imagined, the reactions of Erica and Josh to this overnight date were dissimilar. Erica was elated. That would give her time (and probably privacy) to break him down and loosen him up so she could find out just how good kissing him could get. She hoped he’d come in at number two. Actually, she hoped he’d beat Bob, but she didn’t believe that could actually happen.

She did not think about what his physical or emotional reaction to all this might be.

Josh actually yelled at his mother for the first time in their lives. He calmed down immediately when he saw the shock on her face, but he upbraided her.

“What were you thinking? I can’t be around her for that long! It will literally kill me! You don’t know what she does to me, Mom!”

“Well, then, tell me what this girl has done to my son. Where has she touched you?” Her tone of voice was frosty.

Josh covered his face with his hands and groaned.

“She hasn’t touched me anywhere. Well, I guess our elbows bumped while we were working on something. She kissed me good night, but that’s it. That’s not the problem. The problem is that when that was all that happened I had an erection the entire night! Do you know how hard it is for me to admit that to my mother?! What do you think will happen if I spend the whole night over there?” He ended in a groan and plopped down on a chair.

Mona’s attitude had flashed from mistrusting to joy as she found out her son was so completely normal. She went to him and pulled him up to hug him.

“First of all, thank you for trusting me enough to be open and honest with me. I understand your frustration, even though I’ve never had to worry about my passion showing on the outside. I know you don’t believe me right now, but I do not think she’ll be offended if you have an erection, as long as you don’t flaunt it. Just don’t walk around with your hips jutting out and I think you’ll be fine.”

“I can’t believe you even said that,” moaned Josh. “Do you think I’d actually advertise the fact that I had an erection?”

“No, Baby,” she said. “I was just trying to calm you down. I don’t get erections, but I was a girl once and, believe it or not I caused some erections in the boys I knew.”

“Too much information, Mom,” he groaned.

“My point is I know how a girl reacts in that situation. If she likes the boy, she sees that as a compliment. As long as he doesn’t flaunt it. If she doesn’t like him she’ll call him a creep and tell him to get lost.”

“What if she tells me to get lost before you guys get home? Should I just go home?”

“Josh, Honey, you told me you’ve had erections because of her before this, right?”

“Yes, but she didn’t know it.”

“Yes she did.”

“What?” he looked alarmed.

“A girl is, shall we say, situationally aware of things when she’s with a boy. You can’t hide something like that all the time. Erica knows that has happened to you and it did not disgust her. I venture to say she likes you, and that makes those pesky boners compliments.”

“I can’t believe my mother used the word boner,” said Josh.

“I know lots more words like that. Do you want me to teach you any?”

“No, Mother. I just wish you would have talked to me before you did this.”

“I knew if I did you’d run the other way, screaming.” Mona moved back and left her hands on his shoulders. “I am delighted that my son is having these particular issues in his life. They are very normal issues and that means my son is very normal. Very normal means I may actually have grandchildren some day.”

“Well, I’m not starting on that right away,” he growled.

“That’s good. You’re a bit young to be a father.”

“I can’t believe you’re sending me into the lion’s den like this,” he said.

“She’s a pretty impressive lioness, Josh, but I don’t think she’ll bite you.”

Josh thought about those kisses, and the fact that she had expressed interest in kissing him some more. That would likely happen on this sleepover.

He got yet another erection as he wondered what else might happen.

“Hi. I’m Bob Chambers. Erica’s mom, Megan, asked me to pick Josh up. She’s still at work, but I had some time.”

Mona stared at Bob.

“Megan didn’t mention I’m black, did she?” Bob said with a sigh.

“Oh! I’m sorry,” said Mona. “It’s rude to stare, but you look very interesting.”

“It’s okay. Some of the people who come to get their portraits made saw my name on the internet. When I talked to them on the phone I didn’t tell them I was African American. Most people deal with it, but my studio looks like a dump on the outside, so sometimes that and my skin combine to screw the pooch.” He closed his eyes as he realized what he’d just said. “Sorry. Sometimes I don’t watch my mouth closely enough.”

“You mean screwing the pooch?” Mona smiled. “My colleagues at work say much worse things than that and they’re all PhDs. Come in. Josh is almost ready. By that I mean his things are ready to go and we got him all the way from his bedroom to the kitchen.” She ushered Bob into the living room. “Josh is shy and is having some anxiety about this. He’s never spent the night away from home before, but please don’t tell him I told you that. He’s already embarrassed enough.”

“Can I speak with him?” asked Bob. “Erica says he likes photography and that’s my vocation. Maybe I can put him at ease.”

“Do you think so?” Mona sounded skeptical. “Erica didn’t tell him you’re black, either. If she had, he’d have mentioned it. Not that I think it will matter. I’m embarrassed to say I have no idea what interactions he’s had with people of other races.”

“I’d love to see the day when it doesn’t matter whether somebody knows my skin color or not, when they first see me.”

“I agree, but it isn’t going to be tomorrow,” said Mona. “Josh, Honey? This is Mister Chambers. He’s here to pick you up and take you to Erica’s house.”

Josh’s head had been down and when he raised it his eyes widened.

“Wow!” he said.

“She didn’t mention I was black, did she,” said Bob, obviously referring to Erica.

“No. She just said you were the coolest man she knows and she hopes you and her mom get married.”

Bob smiled.

“She’s used to me. By the time we get there I won’t be a stranger anymore. I’m also going to give you arcane, secret knowledge about how the minds of the women in that house work. This is top secret stuff, and I think it’s critical that you know it before they ply you with food and drink and chit chat and try to get you off your guard. All I did was take some pictures of them and I was immediately snared by their web.”

“Sounds dangerous,” said Mona.

“It’s a little like someone’s trying to beat you to death with a whip made of marshmallows.” Bob smiled.

“I noticed Erica seems to be very self-confident,” said Mona. “That’s not super common in girls her age.”

“Erica is seventeen, going on twenty-five,” said Bob. “That’s just my opinion. She’s a pretty sharp girl. I like her a lot.”

“Wow!” said Josh again.

“He feels like he’s going into the lion’s den,” Mona said.

“So, you ready to go on safari and stalk the lioness? I’ll be there with you and I promise I’ll have your back.”

“I think the lioness might be stalking me,” said Josh, finally able to make a whole sentence.

“Nah. That’s just because she doesn’t know how to do this dating stuff. You’re the first boy she’s ever wanted to invite to dinner and that puts you up in the rarified air. She might be a little ... effusive, socially. She’s generally a happy young woman and now you seem to be part of why.”

“And you say you’ll be there all night?” asked Mona.

“Yes, Ma’am. I will take care of your son and return him none the worse for the wear. He’ll be fine. I have a vivid imagination. It goes with the photographer territory.”

“I am comforted by that. Josh? You need to get a move on so your father and I can do the same thing.”

Josh got up and moved toward Bob, who turned around to leave the same way he came in. He noticed a gym bag sitting beside the door that he hadn’t seen when he came in. He leaned over and picked it up.

“Is this it?”

“I didn’t know what to pack,” said Josh.

“PJs, a change of clothes, and your toothbrush is all you need,” said Bob.

“Okay,” said Josh.

Josh turned to hug his mother, who whispered, “You’ll be fine, Honey. Just go and enjoy yourself. Bob seems interesting. Maybe you two can talk photography, or something.”

“Maybe,” said Josh.

Then, taking a deep breath, he trotted after Bob, who was already opening the back door of the car, where he tossed the gym bag in. Josh got to the passenger door as Bob opened the driver’s door and they got in, together. After seat belts were taken care of Bob started the car and pulled away.

“Now, for that arcane knowledge,” he said. “You ready?”

“I thought you were just joking about that,” said Josh.

“Well, to tell the truth, it’s not very arcane, but there are a few things it might be helpful to know.”

“Okay.”

“The first is that Erica likes you. She’s been a little giddy about you staying over like this. Please don’t tell her I said that. She’ll probably ignore you and try to make it look like you are completely uninteresting. Women act that way when they like a man, for some reason.”

“Do you think so?”

“Actually, I suspect you’ll be welcomed as if you’ve been there dozens of times. Megan is one of those ‘your friend is my friend’ kind of women, so if her daughter likes you, then she will too. I’m completely neutral with the possible provision that if you hurt Erica’s feelings I might counsel you on that.”

“How could I hurt her feelings?”

“Oh, if you said you thought she was a troll and never wanted to see her again, she would not react to that well.”

“I’d never say that!” gasped Josh.

“It was just an example. She’s never had her heart broken and I wish it would stay that way forever. It usually doesn’t, though.”

“I’ve never had my heart broken, either,” he said, “with the possible exception of when they stopped the space shuttle program.”

“It does seem somewhat wasteful to spend all that money to help us adapt to living in space, and then not get to the moon again,” said Bob.

“Yes!” said Josh. “We already know how to do it and some day we may need some of the resources the moon might provide.”