Chapter 8

The catching up took longer than it needed to. Their breaks all followed much the same pattern. The only exception was Navya and Matt who seemed to have spent most of the break in North Devon, hiding from Navya’s mother. But other than that nobody had any new tales. Andrew wrote a bunch of letters, to all his usual correspondents, but the important one was to Manon. He told her he would call the following Sunday evening as he should know about his schedule and when he could travel to Paris, assuming they still needed additional shots. He and Lilja had exchanged Christmas cards but there was no additional letter within hers and so Andrew took that moment to pause his correspondence to her. If he hadn’t heard from her by the time he graduated he would then decide whether to send her his London address or just let it die out. Rupashi’s letter was shorter, it came across as more relaxed and made several mentions of Pranav which both her previous letters had not. There seemed to be a difference. Meredith had spent Christmas in Cuzco in the Peruvian Andes. She was acting as an English language liaison for a tour company there. It was the starting point for the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu and her letter had a postcard and little brochure showing him the Incan ruins. It sounded fascinating and it was the first time Andrew had ever heard about the place. He was later to dinner because of all the letter writing but Hall was still busy as people straggled back to College. He had no sooner sat down than Mandy came over and joined him. He had not spotted her when he first arrived.

“I know it is only 35 miles but it feels like a world away.”

Andrew continued eating and waited for her to continue.

“You have been here for more than three years Andrew. Do people change here?”

It was his 1^st year all over again. He told her about his experiences as well as those of the other people in the corridor. He also told her that the summer would be even worse.

“In an odd way that is comforting. I wondered whether it was just me. So even although I don’t feel any different I have changed?”

“It is your outlook, more than anything. You can see what this place is like, you feel it every day. You have to think you are smart to even attempt to get here, and you need to keep thinking you are smart to cope with living here. There is no false modesty. You made it to Trinity College at Cambridge University. You can try and downplay it as much as you want but you are a smarty-pants. It has been externally validated. You are here. Remember when I talked with you when you were on the ward about life after cancer, not wanting to be known or described as cancer girl. Well this is just a variation of that. You have a different outlook but the people you left behind have a different view of you as well. You are here and they are not. As you said only 35 miles but it is a big difference.”

Mandy thought about this as they finished eating.

“So I can’t go back?”

“Physically of course you can. Mentally, intellectually, no you have moved on. What a lot of people here start to find is that they make deeper friendships with their fellow students, both here in College but also on their course. I have found I have more in common with my friends here than people I knew in school back in Edinburgh.”

That was not quite the whole story but now was not the time to explain all that to Mandy. But even as he was thinking that the sly, sparkling wit of Mandy Brown popped up.

“Oh well then. Since you say that is what is going to happen I guess I need to go and get to know some more people at the bar.”

Someone who was 4’10 and 100lbs soaking wet should not be able to laugh like Sid James. For one crazy moment Andrew thought he should go and warn Pedro. But only for a moment! Andrew skipped going to the bar and headed back to his room but was not alone for long. Catherine, for the first time, was demanding. Cold turkey after a term of regular sex had not resulted in a Merry Christmas. Her second ever blowjob was significantly less tentative than the first. She had an outcome in mind, and as soon as his vigour stopped flagging she was back in the saddle. It made him smile to see the mask start to slip. After that second fuck they actually got to chat for a few minutes.

“Sorry about that but the last five weeks have emphasised I knew what I was doing back at the start of term. There is nothing like a good fuck to relieve the tension. You have no idea how disappointed I was that you didn’t get here yesterday.”

He laughed.

“I know what you mean. During 2^nd and 3^rd year I got spoiled with sex two or three times a week for the whole year. I remember the summer between the two years it was more than six weeks from the end of term until I found someone.”

While giving no details of any of the participants he told Catherine about his fortnight of sluttiness in Cyprus.

“Nine different women in two weeks? Bloody hell, that really was slutty.”

“I know. But that was the thing, it was mutual sluttiness. They were there just on holiday while I was there to work but it was the same mentality. Nobody knows me here, I am never going to see the other person again. Go for it. And because I was working it was an evening fuck not a late night drunken fumble. I think at least two of the women fucked me and then went out clubbing.”

Catherine was laughing now.

“Were you as needy as me with the first one?”

Andrew thought about it, remembering Annie and her big arse.

“The first time I was lucky because she was as desperate as I was and neither of us lasted a long time. I was doing integral calculus trying to hang on at the end.”

Catherine laughed again.

“But the second time yes I admit I fucked her hard. It was doggy and I was holding her off the bed by the end.”

Andrew smiled at the memory. Catherine was wrapping him up.

“Show me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Definitely.”

So Catherine Vickers got fucked hard for the first time, at least by Andrew. Her mask didn’t so much slip as fall to the floor and shatter. What it took to break through Catherine’s reserve, her self-censorship, was five weeks of enforced abstinence. When he finally came he staggered back, holding the wall for a second to let the world rush back in. He disposed of the condom before flopping down on the bed next to Catherine. She scooted over to let him get fully on the bed before draping her leg over his and resting her head on his shoulder.

“Thank you Andrew. I needed tonight but now I feel all relaxed and sleepy. Don’t make a noise in the morning.”

With a final kiss on the cheek she was asleep. She hadn’t moved when Andrew woke in the morning. He slipped out of bed and the daily routine of term time started. After the normal routine of exercise that first Monday he was at Peggy’s Café at 7.40 as usual. The first morning routine extended to the envelope, the hug, the catcalls from the other customers. They all played their part in the pantomime. He and Olivia met at the library but just put their bags down, reserving seats before heading down to the department. They caught up on the way down.

“Good break?”

“I didn’t spend as much time on my project as I wanted, but other than that it was okay. How about you?”

“Mixed. I feel good about the level of studying I achieved and I am okay on my project. When I got back to Clermont-Ferrand I was almost immediately back on the train to Paris. Papa had used some of his contacts and found out there was a career day for engineering at the Paris-Sud University. It is the top university for science and engineering in France. He told me that there would be hundreds of students there and that I should just walk around like I belonged. So with my heart racing I did that. And after two minutes in the big hall it didn’t matter, I was in and looked no different than anyone else. So I relaxed. But what was a huge disappointment was how few women engineers there were. There were not many female employees and even fewer at all the main company booths. Three of the main companies had none there at all, and the other two main firms only had one or two women. I was only able to talk to one of them and what she didn’t say was louder than what she did. I knew picking engineering there were going to be moments where it would be a challenge but it was very dispiriting.

“I think I am going to apply for work in Britain. It is not perfect here but the main firms seem to have a better understanding that not all engineers are men.”

She shrugged.

“I am sorry to hear that but it is at least better to know in advance.”

“True.”

They got to the department and submitted their Technical Milestone Reports at the department office. The secretary was a little startled to receive them as the deadline was not until Thursday but when she saw the names on the reports she seemed less surprised. Their reputations preceded them.

“I have had my moan now tell me about life as a male model.”

For at least the fourth time Andrew recounted the two weeks modelling.

“The difficulties of your friend seem to have affected you.”

“I have three mixed emotions. I feel sorry for Renee, especially as there is nothing I can do. I also was disappointed in myself in not recognising some of this stuff earlier. I have been part of audition processes where this has happened to other models, I just did not know them. And finally it also highlighted how absurdly lucky I have been throughout this process. I have never been on an audition. I have not seen an advert where they are looking for a male model, over 6’4”, lean build, broad shoulders, must be prepared to show his arse to the world.”

Olivia was snorting with laughter.

“And then gone along to just be casually dismissed. Sorry we don’t like your arse. Can you imagine.”

Olivia spoke before she thought.

“Everybody likes your arse.”

The look of horror on her face as she realised what she had said. It was priceless.

“My eyes are up here.”

That just got him a whack.

“Fuck, I can’t believe I said that.”

“More comments from home?”

Andrew was chased down the street, vile threats landing about his ears. Olivia stalked up.

“Truce?”

“Truce.”

It took them until lunchtime to finally calm down. Stupid attacks of the giggles randomly happened all morning. But then normal service was resumed and they buckled down and got back into the groove of studying.

Thinking back about his time volunteering during the very first term at Addenbrooke’s it seemed like it happened to another person. Now Andrew knew that the move to Monday evening rather than the middle of the day on Sunday was the main difference, but it affected him during the other 11 terms he volunteered. There were two terms to go, and more and more he was doing this because he was seeing out an obligation. It is not a particularly attractive thing to think, a way to look at himself, but he knew it was true. He had not made the connection with a patient the way he had in that first term. And the first term was not all rosy, the image of Graham weeping as Andrew sat beside him, unable to answer his question of ‘why?’ haunted him to that day. But he wanted to make things better, in any way possible, for the patients. And more and more Andrew was unsure he was having much of an impact. He still went, worked hard and thought and hoped he made an effort. But it was dispiriting a lot of the time, and he found himself in ever more awe of the medical staff where this was their job.

Tuesday morning he and Olivia were back at the library and the pace quickened. There was just so much to read, study, solve, it was relentless. That night Andrew met Jack outside Kings and he didn’t need to say a word. Andrew could see Jack’s smile as he walked down the street.

“Well done.”

“Thanks man.”

“Any issues?”

“No, went pretty much the same as Rollie talked about last year. Did everything to the best of my ability and stayed switched on. That is probably the key thing. Don’t let your guard down for a moment. So all these camps, weekends, parades, every little bit helped. And yet some of the best blokes were not OTC at all, and conversely some of the OTC guys were crap. As in I am surprised their unit let them attend. It is done and I am scheduled for Main Board late March. What about you?”

“I hope to find out when Briefing is tonight. If only to figure out which weekends are free. My ideal is that Briefing is on one of the weekends that we are scheduled to be at Stanford but I am not that lucky.”

“No chance. Two weekends with us isn’t too bad. I noticed that the permanent staff treated me differently once they heard I was going Regulars. Last term wasn’t too bad was it.”

“No, you are right. The sapper section was at Barnham Camp last year because Stanford was full. It was a good weekend, a lot less shouty than normal.”

They arrived at the TA Centre and Andrew was called over to speak to Captain Miles. It was him that Andrew had approached near the end of the previous term and who immediately had Andrew in front of the Colonel.

“Last weekend of February. 28^th and the 1^st of March.”

Well that was short and to the point.

“They like to do Main Board within three or four months. Can you indicate when you would be available. Is there any time before July?”

Andrew looked at the calendar and the list of courses.

“I could attend the course during the week of June 8^th sir. It falls between the completion of my degree and graduation. If I don’t get on that course then it will be any time from June 29^th onwards.”

“Okay good. You should have no problem with Briefing so I will have a word and get a place set aside. Not officially of course until you pass Briefing but there are ways.”

Andrew looked at him quizzically.

“Quotas McLeod. If we get you on and through Briefing and Main Board before the end of June then it counts as part of this year’s numbers. These things are important.”

Andrew had his doubts about that but kept them to himself. Later that night he sat with a calendar and marked out the weekends of the term. There were nine weekends and he now knew when the two training weekends and Briefing were scheduled. He nearly called Manon right then but it was after midnight in Paris so instead she got an early wake-up call. She didn’t even complain about the hour, just noted the number of the payphone and called him back.