Chapter 4

Suzanne’s reward? She wanted to catch up on a bunch of missed orgasms. When they got back to the flat she pulled off her jumper and jeans, and symbolically the garter and the bank note and skipped through to the bedroom. She had the two wrist cuffs out and Andrew helped her secure them before clipping them to the eyelets on the back of her corset.

Their first fuck was just their usual rampant rutting, but rather than visually feast on Suzanne in front of him Andrew closed his eyes and focused on nothing but not coming. He wished it could have been one of those rare moments when he totally zoned out and fucked her hard for 30 minutes, but alas it was not to be. Her second orgasm was stronger than the first and he was unable to resist. Suzanne did not look upset as she crabbed round on the bed, instead she sucked him back to full hardness, smiling happily as she did so. Andrew helped her up the bed and once he was leaning back against the headboard she edged up on her knees and lowered herself onto his lap. Suzanne’s head was against his chest, and they were mostly motionless, just connected, revelling in the sensations.

“Fuck me one more time Andrew then hold me close. We can talk in the car tomorrow.”

As so many times before they fucked and kissed, kissed and fucked. When Suzanne came again he just stopped, he was done. Finally after more than 30 hours Andrew unlaced her corset and carefully pulled out the little butt plug. Naked at last, and making their usual mess of the sheets, Andrew held Suzanne in his arms and they fell into a deep sleep.

The pool was closed on New Year’s Day so he ran a second lap round the Meadows, the bitter wind a constant reminder of the Scottish winter. Suzanne was still sleeping when he returned so he had a quick shower and put the coffee on, waiting for her to face the day. Less than 30 minutes later she padded through, grabbed his cup and took a gulp of the coffee, kissed him and then headed for her shower. Another 40 minutes later and she was back through and finally sat and had breakfast with him.

“We are booked into a B&B in Ullapool tonight and then a hotel in Inverness the following night. Once we finish here, I would like to head off, there is a lot to talk about and a lot of things that I want to show you.”

Suzanne had a plan. So they finished up, cleaned up after two days of dumping dishes in the sink but by 10.30 they were on the road. As he drove north Andrew waited for her to start.

“The purpose of this trip is to talk about my career, my future, and to show you some examples of things that I have seen over the last couple of summers. But it is also just a great excuse to spend alone time with you. Can we talk about the last couple of days first though?”

“Sure.”

“You are becoming much more dominant with me Andrew; do you realise that?”

He glanced sideways and nodded.

“Is it a conscious choice?”

“Yes, it is.”

The first sigh of the morning.

“You are doing it for me not for you, aren’t you?”

“Mostly yes but I am more and more getting excited by it myself. It is ironic that I worried about the escalation or accommodation of your needs but it is me that is the one who is ever more turned on by it. The split is not 50:50 but this is not purely about you anymore.”

“Since you came back from modelling you have been more controlling, more demanding. And in new ways. Getting sent to the front room because of Vanessa was a serious head shaker. And then the last couple of days.”

She stopped and as Andrew glanced at her he saw Suzanne staring out of the window.

“You are inherently good at misdirection. I did not see what you were going to do coming at all. You had spent the day with Maggie and Tony, I had met Vanessa in town but then when I returned to the flat it was.”

Another sigh.

“So unexpected. I have to confess something to you. I don’t like denial. Now it is not something that is going to make me call Paula or anything like that. And I think that being teased and denied for a couple of hours, or an evening, is part of me, reminding me that I am not in control. But it was too long. The truth is when I am tied up I do expect to orgasm, repeatedly and explosively. And you have done that to me so many times.”

She laughed to herself.

“I am a very selective and picky submissive. One of the things that made yesterday odd was you didn’t tease or torment me verbally. It was very passive. Wrong word. It was just different. Some of it was incredible, but then all that built up horniness just faded away. And I know that I talk about giving up control, being dominated, but it felt unsatisfying somehow. And yet as a counter to that from the moment we got to Leslie’s place, I knew that as soon as midnight sounded we would be heading back to the flat and it would be fantastic.”

She expelled a big burst of air.

“I am all over the place. Talk me through what you were thinking.”

“When I got back to the flat, I started to make dinner but also was thinking about a shopping list for some food and some booze for Hogmanay. Thinking about Hogmanay got me reminiscing about my first time. So I was sitting just jotting down a couple of list for shopping but I was thinking about sex, the importance of my first time, everything she did.”

“I know the bare bones of the story but will you tell me the whole thing?”

Andrew spent 20 minutes or so talking about the first summer, the early evening at the farmhouse and then the night with Kenzie.

“I knew half of that, all the key moments but it is interesting to hear all the background stuff, how it started the previous summer. I can also see why you never got into the drinking culture at school. Don’t drink and you will get laid is a pretty powerful motivator.”

“Exactly. So anyway I was just idly thinking back to that night and then you arrived. I don’t know that there was a specific thing or trigger, maybe it is no more than I was annoyed at myself for being unable to think of anything to say to you a couple of nights earlier when we played the game with the garter. Whatever the reason I just went with it. And it ties back to my being more dominant.

“My motivations are for you but I am enjoying dominating you more and more. So with it only being 30 hours or so I decided to try it. But I wanted it to be different to the 23^rd. I shouldn’t be confessing this to you but you are not going to get sent to the front room very often. It was a punishment to me as well as to you. Especially at the moment when we only see each other for a limited time.”

He felt Suzanne reach out and squeeze his hand.

“So this was my variation on it. And I totally get your point of it being too long. But I wanted to try something different, and let’s face it I was still getting some incredible blowjobs, so I was fine.”

He wasn’t even whacked.

“You could have fucked me you know. Just not let me come.”

Andrew smiled at the thought, the visual.

“I didn’t think you could stop yourself and I didn’t want to get into a whole separate exercise of punishing you on top of everything else. Maybe you could have been strong but I decided not to go that way.”

“I can see the issue. It is one thing to think you are strong, another to have to deal with it. Talking about these blowjobs, yesterday lunchtime was incredible. I have never had a man plunge down into me like that before. For a minute or so it was like you were really fucking me, just using my mouth and throat rather than my pussy. Why did you switch?”

“At the start it was fantastic, different, more dominant, all of that. But the truth is I need to see your face. I soon as I saw you, saw how you looked, your eyes. I don’t think you realise that you look happy, relaxed. You talked about how the sex shops in Amsterdam calmed you down, made you realise that you were not alone. How you are, what sexually excites you, is not mainstream but you are not broken, a freak, anything like that. So the two of us are in a feedback loop. I see how happy you are when I treat you the way you need, and it just reinforces the normality of our what we are doing. I think that is the best way I can explain your face, your whole air, when I look at you.

“But for me there is a difference when we are fucking without any of this and when there is more domination. When I am fucking you, especially doggy, even when you are clipped to the playsuit, I don’t need to see your face. It is sex. But when we start pushing the boundaries, especially my own boundaries then I find it important, almost essential to see you. I couldn’t see you when I was on top of you, fucking your mouth, and so it started to feel uncomfortable. Yet as soon as you were kneeling in front of me I was fine holding your gaze, and your head, until you blinked. But it also turned me on so much more and I came quickly.

“It is the same with all the punishment stuff. I can never see your face and it makes a huge difference. But that is my issue. I don’t know that I would ever be totally comfortable hitting you but it would calm a lot of my fears and doubts if I was looking at you.”

Andrew shrugged. They drove north for many miles as Suzanne thought about what he had said.

“Everything you say makes sense, I understand why you acted the way you did, and I can see the importance of my facial cues to your sense of acceptance of what you are doing to me. What I was surprised about was that you didn’t tease me, whisper things to me, try and ratchet up the tension.”

“I nearly started several times but I wasn’t sure what to say, how far to verbally push you.”

“What do you mean? Give me an example?”

“A lot of what I was thinking about seemed some combination of humiliating or even misogynistic. Things like being unable to come, nothing but a whore on her knees swallowing my come whenever I want. Now that might be true but I didn’t want to throw that in your face. When I played the prostitute game with Helena it was the words that she hated the most. ‘Sold your arse for a lousy tenner’ or something like that. I didn’t want to say things like that with you, it felt over the top.”

There was a loud silence.

“Thank you for explaining that. I am having a very odd moment. My head, my mind is raging that you would even think of saying something like that; but my body, and especially my pussy, got excited. Which is just a fucked up split way of feeling.”

Suzanne was silent thinking about this.

“It was the impersonal that was the annoying thing. If you had called me your lover on her knees then I would have found it very exciting. Whore is such an ugly word. Thank you twice over. For explaining it, and for not saying anything. I don’t want to be a whore. I want to be your lover. Nothing changes except you are taking control, not buying control. Pull off the road at the next chance you get please.”

Ten minutes later Suzanne was moulded against him as Andrew leaned back against the car. Her kisses were full of promise.

“Thank you for everything Andrew. You listened to me, pushed me, let me talk it all through with you.”

Five minutes of masochistic feeling up and kissing later and they were back on the road north. Both feeling very horny.

“One of the things that I really liked was how you controlled and commanded me but didn’t cuff me. I think you told me once that you thought you always had to tie me up to be dominant. That has certainly changed. The other thing that was really cool was trying to read while kneeling between your legs. I was so aware of your dick the whole time, giving it a little suck every time I turned the page, it was so. I don’t know what the right word is. It is definitely not a study technique as I can’t remember a word I read. But there was something very intimate about it. It is the sort of thing I could say to my parents. ‘Oh we had a quiet afternoon, sitting reading.’ I think that rattled around in my head for an hour, that delicious twist, taking something so straightforward but know that it was so much more. There is so many variations on these everyday activities.”

They pulled off the road again at Kingussie for lunch, just a little restaurant, the food hot and plentiful.

“I would like to stretch my legs but we should push on. We can go for a walk at Ullapool, rather than be faced with driving in the dark.”

Suzanne had the plan so Andrew agreed and they carried on. The chat was inconsequential until they got close to Inverness. He had another one of his not-thought-through ideas.

“You want to talk about rural employment, growth that doesn’t spoil the landscape, yes?”

“That is exactly what I want to talk about.”

He saw a petrol station approaching and pulled off the road. While Suzanne filled the car up Andrew called first Julian, to get his father’s phone number, and then Julian senior to get the address. With the car filled up they carried on north but before Carrbridge they turned off the road and headed east.

“Andrew, where are we going?”

“I will show you. Patience.”

For the next 40 miles it was a drinker’s guide to Scotland. They passed or saw the signs for nearly 20 distilleries as they drove through the Scottish countryside. Finally north of Rothes on a tiny ‘B’ class road on the way to Fochabers Andrew stopped at the last of the ‘trophies’ he had never seen. They were outside the closed gate of the Glen Inch distillery. Suzanne joined him as they looked at the buildings through the gate.

“Will you now tell me why we came all the way over here?”

“Yes. Thank you for not being too impatient.”

That got him a whack.

“This is the Glen Inch distillery. More than three years ago Leslie, Julian and I were approached by Julian’s dad to see if we wanted to invest in a new distillery. We ended up with one share, the sixteenth and final share that was sold.”

“So you have a small part of this distillery?”

“No, we have a big part. Over the last three years lots of the original investors got cold feet and bailed. So the three of us own eight shares out of the 16, Mhairi and Creighton share one and Julian’s dad still has one. Between us we own more than half the shares. You wanted to talk about rural employment, providing opportunities, not wrecking the environment, so I thought I would show you this. This is the first time I have ever been here, it is the last of the things I have invested in that I have never seen or used. First it was the Ferrari, then the house and finally this.”