Chapter 7: Lysistrata

After Tracy’s date we found ourselves in my room at the grandmother’s. I was still doing my best to dodge Alex ... more so now that I knew she used me as a masturbatory aid. Overall, the two dates had been quite pleasant and had ended as I expected. During a moment of relaxation, I couldn’t help but point at the two sisters in turn and ask, “So, how did this start?”

Tracy smiled at Monica before turning that 100-watt beam at me, “Oh, our parents left us alone for a night when our aunt had a baby and I tied her to the bed and started playing with her till she reciprocated.”

Monica sat straight up and tossed a pillow at her sister, “Jesus, you aren’t a little embarrassed to tell that!”

The confused look on Tracy’s face was just endearing, “He just fucked us both. I’m pretty sure he’s okay with us having sex.”

Mon answered back with obvious frustration, “I ... meant the tying me to the bed thing. That is not a normal thing.”

Tracy pondered that thought then answered, “Oh, I mean I could hear her calling my name when she rubbed herself in the shower, she just didn’t want to do anything, because I was younger than her. It wasn’t my best idea, but I was really horny and rubbing off just wasn’t enough anymore. It was actually only at the beginning of the summer, too. So, we’d only been going at it a couple months when we met you.”

Mon added, “When you met him. I met him last year.”

“You did?”

Mon, “You don’t remember?”

I flashed and replayed the events of the previous school year and found nothing. I shook my head and Mon continued, “You danced with me at the spring dance.”

Tracy seemed agitated by the changed in subject and went back to the original topic, “She really did want it, but I was her sister.”

Mon
ica sighed, “And a girl. I’m not normal having those thoughts about any girl, much less my sister.”

“Most of the squad is bi.”

Possibly including me.

I shook the thought off and continued, “And I know quite a lot of bisexual women. You’re normal. Those feelings are normal.”

She shook her head. There was some conditioning there that she was having trouble overcoming, I could tell that it was causing her some inner turmoil, but I had no clue about how to address it. Eventually she asked, “How come you’re rougher with Tracy than me?”

“She likes me to be rough sometimes. I have to read what she’s interested in that day, but she’s usually pretty open to whatever. You’re a bit more vanilla. You like a lot of build-up and just switching positions is a step outside your comfort zone. I want you both to enjoy yourselves and if I treated you as if you were the same person I wouldn’t get that.”

“Aren’t all girls the same?”

Tracy chuckled, but I answered, “Mostly no. If I eat them out pretty much every girl will feel pleasure. Most will feel some pleasure from being penetrated, but remember how many times we had to work you up before you could take me without having had the vibe first?

Some girls, like me being a bit better than average, but I’ve also had at least one girl beg me to fuck them, then freakout and run screaming when I actually pulled it out.

I wonder how long I’ll hold a grudge about that.

You like things soft and slow and like having Tracy nearby as a touchstone to check in. She’s a safe point for you, that’s why I usually don’t instigate things when you’re alone. You get nervous if I push your boundaries when she isn’t there to comfort you. If I get you really worked up, you want it doggy style cause you like the additional force.

Tracy likes well, everything. I can be soft or slow with her when one of is in the mood, she seems really intent on beating out Lis on being the one to oust Nixon, based on the way she’s responded to my fingers and tongue I’m betting she’ll be into anal, she can like it hard and fast, and she really likes it when I pick her up and slam her down on my cock.”

My little one positively glowed, “It makes me feel like you’re so powerful, so strong. And I love that.”

“I don’t normally talk about the other girls, but since it’ll help, and you’ve seen me with most of them I’ll make an exception. Stacy has two extremes. She really likes to be in control. That’s why she always packs a strap in her bag and likes to blow me cause she thinks it’s a joystick. She also really likes when someone just out right uses her. She likes being controlled. It’s the middle area she’s less comfortable with unless it’s with Jill. And she’s bi, but won’t admit it ... but she really likes when you work her up over liking cock or her cumming harder for me than Jill. It’s a fetish, even if she won’t admit it.

Jill likes to be soft and sweet with girls, but she likes it when I go hard and fast. She wants to get off on the maleness of an encounter with me. And the femininity when she’s with a woman.

Lis ... Lis really gets off on exhibitionism. It’s a real kink. If I just talk about how many people are watching her or suggest sex in public, she’ll get off near instantaneously. She also really being teased and worked up. Sometimes I start working on her at the beginning of the day and just periodically tease her till it’s time for practice and I can bring her to a really intense O.

And I keep taking advantage of her, because I know she has feelings for me I can’t match ... I’m just postponing the pain I’m going to cause her.

So, everybody is different.”

Tracy asked, “And what do you like?”

“Fetish wise? I like being in control. To be honest I probably need to be control. I like anal. I’m not sure why, but it’s something psychological. A girl really feels like she’s ‘mine’ when she gives me her ass. And yes, I know I feel possessive of the women I sleep with even if I shouldn’t. I like ... familial relations like yours ... it’s a thing. I tend to prefer older women.

Tracy is the only one I’ve slept with who isn’t older than me and some are quite a bit older. I love it when my girls cum. The more the better. I like it when my partner is enthusiastic. I love nothing more than a girl who is just dripping before I start working cause it’s easier to work them up to major heights. Honestly, I’m hit or miss on Blowjobs aside from the double headers and the Lis thing, but I do like facials I also like when a girl makes eye contact at the end of one and then swallows, especially if they sound happy about it. I love it when I cum in a girl and another immediately dives in when I pull out to get the jizz.

I love missionary where I’ve got the girls eyes locked in mind and we’re just sharing the moment, sharing the pleasure, being in the moment together. I don’t want kids, but I think I’d find it hot to knock up a girl. I’ve done some experimentation with bondage stuff, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it. There are a few other things I’ve tried. I’d like to do more with sensation play, both giving and receiving but it’s hard to fit in.”

Monica sighed, ‘That’s ... That’s a lot.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to have you try anything you’re not ready for. Like I said, I want you to enjoy it and pushing you to hard would be counterintuitive.”

The next really important bit was the date with Erin. Her brother drove us and we got on like a house on fire. We were compatible in every way that mattered. She was smart, got my defense mechanism inspired humor, and the blue hair was HOT. The problem was her brother. He sat at a different table and glared at us periodically. I recognized that glare. It was the one I gave Mindy and Mickey when I had to be in their presence. I also saw her glances at him, glances filled with love. I enjoyed the good night kiss, but I kept it on the chaste side. I didn’t want to step on anyone else’s toes, and I was pretty certain the two were in love.

It was a Monday. Daniel and Scott’s birthday was tomorrow. The band was set-up on the stage in order to practice for the first concert. It was still a ways away, but with this group even setting up required practice. Scott was giving me a look as I pushed the piano into place. I had been vacillating about attending his party after I found the invitation stuffed in my locker that morning. It had been exactly three weeks since he had started dating Alex.

After Amanda dismissed the group with the toddler tapping, Scott approached me, “are you coming to the party, bro?”

“Maybe, It’s Daniel’s party too.”

“Good cause I think I’ll be able to pop Alex on my birthday then you can have her back and we can put this whole mess behind us.”

I turned and leapt on him. He tumbled to the ground with my weight on him, I felt my fist pound into his face over and over again. I could see myself doing worse even as I punched him. His throat looked squeezably soft. His eyes seemed to beg for my thumbs ... But I managed to keep the other’s hopeful visions from coming true and just kept pounding on him.

I think he lost consciousness with one of my first blows, but it was several minutes before Lis, Amanda, and three other people pulled me off him. I looked down and he was covered with blood.

Within seconds I was ushered to the principal’s office, he was seen by the nurse. I was suspended for ten days; it would have been 15 but Amanda stepped in. Lis waited to drive me home. Since my parents were on their “Second Honeymoon.” I wouldn’t have to deal with them pretending to be interested in me.

When we arrived, I was jonesing on the energy provided by the violence, “You want to come in?”

“No, little devil. You can’t just do that to people.”

“You’re turning me down?” That just sound wrong. It was inconceivable for Lis of all people to turn me down. I wasn’t going to fight it, it was HER choice, but I’ll be damned if it didn’t feel like a knife in the back even if it shouldn’t have.

“Yeah, I am. And I may for a while.”

“Kay.”

I hopped out of her car and walked around to my private entrance. I washed the blood off my knuckles in the shower and then grabbed the lunchbox of ill health and began to properly clean and bandage them.

After 1730 I received a series of Phone Calls. The first was from Amanda. “Light.”

“Hey, John.”

“Thought you preferred not to talk on the phone?”

“You need to fix this with your little friend.”

“Yeah, I’ll do that right after the apocalypse. Hey, you got any plans tonight?”

That’s another way to work off the excess.

“I’ll have plans every night until this is resolved.”

“Why would you even care?”

“I had to get involved, it might draw attention to what we’ve been doing. I’d like to keep my job.”

“You didn’t have to get involved. I’m a 4.0 student. One bloody suspension isn’t going to tank my future.”

“No, but McVickers has it in for you and the next step from 15 is expulsion. I couldn’t let them hang you after what he said to you.”

“Thank you for your help, Amanda. Call me when you’re not busy otherwise I’ll see you Friday week.”

“Goodbye, John.”

“Be seeing you.”

We’ll at least I still have my girls until she comes around.

Each member of the squad called me in quick succession essentially informing me that they were off limits as well. This was going to suck. Tracy was the only one who seemed hesitant, particularly when I told her that if she was off limits to me for now, I would be off limits to her forever. It was a fairly empty threat, but she almost broke.

I was still hyped up from the fight. My sister wasn’t going to be in town anytime soon. I called up an old friend, “Hey, Sally cinnamon.”

“And how’s my friend’s baby brother.”

“Feeling needy. Any chance you’re interested paying me a visit soon?”

“I really can’t. I’m working on prepping for my MCAT. I can probably swing over next week?”

“Nah, that’s fine. If you get some time. give me a ring. Haven’t seen you in a while. And I could do with a bit of Sally cinnamon in my life.”

Well, fuck. I could borrow GG or beg the grandmother to ‘rub her legs.’ GG deserves better than that and I owe the grandmother too much to use her like that.

A few hours later:

When I smelled strawberries, I was confused. I didn’t know why she was here.

I announced just before she hit the beads, “Hello, Alex.”

She marched over harshly and I briefly wondered if she was going to try to hit me again, “You beat up my boyfriend.”

“And you want me to do it again? Sure. Tell him to give me a ring and I’ll work the body this time. Maybe I can give him a few boots to the crotch. If his bits swell, he might be able to see it without the string.”

“What is wrong with you?”

Would you like an itemized list or my life story ... what the hell would I call my autobiography? My life as a male cheerleader ... no. The survivor’s journey to suicide? Nah. Have dick, can’t travel ... yeah, that one works.

I shook the thought off, “What can I do for you?”

“Two black eyes, concussion, broken nose, he lost two teeth.”

And I could’ve put my thumb in his eye ... and eye socket filled with glass ... not exactly a partridge in a pear tree.

“Tell Suzie to send me the bill.”

Maybe I’ll throw her one to cover the bill. She can see how good I’ve really gotten.

“John, what the hell happened?”

“The scorpion stung the frog.”

“What?”

“We both acted in accordance with our nature.”

“Come to the party tomorrow, apologize.”

Seriously? Go to the bloody party of the guy I just beat down?

“I have nothing to apologize for.”

“You beat the shit out of him the day before his birthday!”

“Did you ask him why?”

“He wouldn’t say.”

“Go be with your boyfriend.”

“I’m where I need to be.”

“Why would you need to be here, he’s the one who’s hurt?”

“Because I’m going to fix this.”

“I already patched up my knuckles. Never had anyone treat my wounds before, no reason to start now. Go see to your boyfriend’s injuries. There’s a pair of gifts in the second drawer of the chest can you make sure Daniel gets his?”

“You got them birthday presents?”

“Before this shit started, Daniel still should get his.”

“What about Scott?”

“You can give it to him if you’d like. I have no use for it.”

“So, you beat the crap out of him and then you get him a present?”

“I got the present first. You can toss it if you’d prefer. I don’t care what you choose.”

“John? What is going on with you? I know you fought Mal last year, but I thought that was over Angie?”

“That was me defending my friends.”

“And this?”

“Making sure the world is just.”

“By beating up my boyfriend?”

“Step one, first knock down the douchebags in class, next I take out the Borgias. Then maybe Gotham City. And I hear Ming the merciless need a beatdown.”

“Borgias?”

“Ask Beth, she should enjoy the history lesson.”

“DO I need to choose?”

“Choose what?”

“Choose between you two?”

“Me and Beth?”

“You and Scott.”

I suppose it was always going to come to this.

“I’m not making you do anything.”

“Then, I’m making you choose.”

“What do you mean?”

“Make up with Scott or we’re done.”

“Our friendship really means that little to you?”

“You don’t know what position you’re putting me in.”

I spent quite a bit of time analyzing myself and my life as Alex paced angrily. I loved Alex. I wanted her in my life. I wanted her to be happy, but I didn’t own Scott shit. Apologizing to him would mean lying and it would just be wrong. Alex versus the world? I’d burn the world in a second. Alex versus what I thought was right? That was a tough call.

Eventually I asked a question to clarify unsure if it would chance my eventual decision, “If we’re done, can I still talk to your mother?”

“What?”

“If you no longer want to be my friend, would you be offended if I still spoke with your mother? Is her friendship dependent on yours?”

“You’re okay with me ending our friendship, but you want to talk to mom.”

“I’m not okay with anything, but I can’t make you be my friend. I like your mother. I like listening to music with her, I like talking to her and helping her grade math homework. If you ending our friendship ends that as well, I’d like to know before I decide.”

“Just, go fuck yourself.”

K, want me to think about you or your mom. Or you and your mom, there’s a thought.

She turned and stormed out, “Sounds like a plan, Bye, Alex.”

On Wednesday, I was listening to Mozart’s Requiem in D minor. I was lying on the burgundy couch holding the yellow paring knife. It had saved my life once and nearly ended it. I had other knives. I had folding pocketknives. I had hunting knives. I had multitools. I’d developed quite a collection since I’d been dropped off in this backwater. The attachment I had to the yellow paring knife was sentimental.

I considered my options. I had tried the femoral before and nearly succeeded. If I did both and my wrists along the veins, I surely wouldn’t wake up in a hospital again. With everyone mad at me it would be quite a long time before my body was discovered. Alex might change her mind and check on me in a few days. The padlock was on the door from the dining room to the basement, so my mother and Robert wouldn’t notice until the school complained about me not showing up or perhaps if I started to smell. Maybe the laundry would stack up and they’d pop the door with a shoulder? Only four people had keys to my private entrance. I’d changed the locks, so my mother and Robert weren’t among them. Alex, Beth, Scott, and Daniel. If things hadn’t gone to hell, I would’ve given one to the other cheerleaders or at least Lis and Tracy.

Perhaps Sarah might think something was amiss if I don’t show up to our weekly listening party tomorrow, but she would assume my quarrel with Alex prevented me from coming. So, Monday at the earliest. Most likely Wednesday or Thursday someone would find my body. I traced the flat of the blade over my right wrist. It would have to be right wrist, left wrist, then right and left femoral arteries.

I could do left then right. I’m technically ambidextrous, but I favor each hand for different things; throwing a punch was my right, eating was my left, and writing depended on whether I was sitting or standing. Which hand for killing myself? I’d used my right the last time I tried. Maybe my left would be luckier. I spun the blade. The phone rang. I picked it up, “Light.”

“Hey, baby brother.”

“Sugar spun?”

“Yeah, Sally said you called her and sounded needy.”

“Something like that.”

“What are you doing?”

Thinking about fixing all my problems?

“I’m holding something that saved my life once and contemplating the future.”

“What has you reeling?” The concern in her voice felt ... real. I wasn’t used to that. I wasn’t used to people actually caring.

I gave her a brief overview to which she responded, “Holy shit, baby brother. We need to talk more. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”

“It’s fine, sugar spun. Law School is a lot more important than my teenage bullshit.”

“You really need to get over that girl. She doesn’t appreciate you.”

Well, if you hadn’t left, I’d be with you. Fuck, I can’t do that to her.

“Yeah, I’m not exactly spoiled for choice at the moment. The Lysistrata is in full force.”

“You’ll need to fill me in on the reference.”

“Greek play. Basically, the general’s wives are all tired of war, so they say, “No Nookie’ till it ends. It’s the same thing the girls are trying to get me to give up my righteous fury. Of course, since it was Greek it doesn’t make sense.”

“Why not? Leading men around by their dick works well in my experience, present company included.” I sighed. She wasn’t wrong.

“The Greek ideal was Achilles. Tall, muscular, smart but not conniving, brave, has a wife he’s fond of and a boyfriend he loved with true passion.”

“So, the sex strike wouldn’t work cause the guys swung both ways.”

“I think everyone does. People have preferences. You may be 99.9 percent straight or 99.9 gay, but I don’t think anyone is one hundred percent.”

“You’re going to meet a normal girl someday. Wait? Does that include you?”

“Let’s just say, I’m not ready to dig at that possible fossil.”

“Okay. So, what are you going to do about the suspension? You can’t let that stay on your record.”

“A bit late now.”

The conversation flowed from that. I felt far better than I had when it began, but it left me with a sullen ache in the twin-beating stone in my chest.

I got another phone call when that one ended. One that started with a “Hey.”

“Hey, Darling.”

“I’m not ending the sex shut out. I ... I just wanted to check on you.”

“That’s nice, actually. I don’t like the lack of sex, but my friends abandoning me is, well, it’s the greater of two evils.”

“I know it’s hard on you that Alex is dating him, but you can’t just beat the shit out of him.”

“I demonstrated I could.”

“Fine, asshole. You shouldn’t!”

“Wee-ooo, wee-ooo.”

“Are you okay?”

“No. It sucks, but I’ll manage.”

“Let’s talk about something besides this shit.”

“Sure. What are you reading?”

The first Thursday was a rarity. No jazz Thursday. Sarah was ‘busy.’ I’d wondered if she was in on it at first, but she seemed to at least give a shit about my existence and perhaps she was legitimately too busy to spend a couple hours listening to jazz and grading papers with her daughter’s possibly former friend.

On Friday, I was ready to call GG, instead she called me.

“Johnny.”

“Yeah, GG?”

“I’m on a date.”

“Ok?”

“I want to sleep with him.”

“Why are you asking me? We both know I’m just a stand-in?”

“May I?”

“Yeah, do what you want.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you...”

At the time I had no understanding of what the hell had just happened.

One week later on Jazz Thursday:

Thursday was the last day of my suspension. I as suffering far more than I believed possible, my hand was simply put not a substitute for the regular supply of pussy I had access too. By the weekend, I would be calling the grandmother and begging to rub her legs or using GG and I knew it. I was right. I was morally correct. I had every right to hate Scott. I had every right to be angry. I was still considering making up with him, just to get some relief.

I knocked on Sarah’s door at about 1800 and she invited me in. I took up my normal position on the end of the couch and she began playing Bessie Smith.

“Bad day?”

“No, Baby, just figured you were feeling blue.”

“Why?”

“Alex slept here last night. You were suspended and you seem tense.”

“In order, she said she’s chosen Scott over our friendship, I’ve been enjoying the break. As for the tenseness, yeah, I’m suffering a bit.”

“How badly?”

“Lysistrata.”

“Aristophanes?”

“Yeah.”

She chuckled, “A sex strike really?”

Glad someone finds it funny.

“Everyone and their mothers are trying to get me to broker a peace with Scott. The lack of relief is frustrating, but the fact that all my friends have basically decided I’m trash to be cast out is worse.”

“How’s it working?”

“I’ll never break. I have a few markers still to call in. Even if I didn’t, I’m right. I’m okay with being alone.”

My other interrupted, “That’s because you always are.”

Sarah offered me a pitying look, “What did he do to you?”

“Is she?”

“At Beth’s, we’re alone.”

“Promise to keep my secret?”

“I swear baby.”

“I was going to ask her out, I talked with him about it. Told him I was finally going to make my move and I show up here with a fresh cut rose dressed formally and I find him kissing her. He betrayed me, he went after her, knowing I was going to take my shot. He knew how I felt about her. He knew what she means to me and he did it anyway.”

“I can understand why you’re angry.”

“I wasn’t done. He is only after one thing, he doesn’t care about her, once he gets what he wants he’ll drop her like she is a bad egg. He’ll cheat on her, he’ll get her drunk, take advantage of her, and he’ll end up hurting her.”

“So which part upsets you more?”

“All of it. He betrayed me, he went after her when he didn’t even want her, and he’s going to hurt her. I have a right to hate him.”

“Then why don’t you?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re angry, you’re raging, but you don’t hate him.”

“Why don’t you think I hate him?”

“I was at his party. You let Alex give him your present. An autographed picture of ... who was it?”

“Joe Perry.”

“How’d you get it?”

“Went to a concert with umm ... someone and had the opportunity, I knew he’d dig it.”

I briefly recalled how weird it had been going to a concert with Amanda and watching her blow a security guard to get us face time with a band. It had needled at the back of my mind despite her being engaged. If not for the insanity that followed, I’d probably still be trying to sort those emotions out.

“If you hated him, you never would have let him have that.”

“I gave Daniel a good present as well.”

“Yes, but you didn’t pummel Daniel did you.”

Pummel? I did pummel him ... I pummeled him a few feet from a pommel horse.

“I’m still right.”

“You are.”

“I need to get laid.”

“Can’t help you.”

“You could, you just prefer not to.”

“I could throw you some nudity if you make up with him.”

“It’ll take more than that! Why do you even care? High school melodrama should be beneath you.”

“My daughter’s boyfriend and her best friend are at war. She isn’t happy.”

“It’s funny.”

“What?”

“Before this I didn’t think there was anything I wouldn’t do for the women I love.”

“And now?”

“I was wrong.”

“Do you want to be wrong?”

“No.”

“So, why don’t you make up with him?”

“Sarah do you not know who he is?”

“She’s my daughter, I don’t want him dating her either.”

“I’ve watched him seduce or get a girl drunk just to get her to spread her legs and then he drops them. I’ve seen him play keep away with a freshman girl’s panties. He only wants one thing. And the things he did to Lis..., if she hadn’t forgiven him, I would’ve ground his face into the asphalt on general principles. He wants one thing from her and he doesn’t care about the cost or the consequences.”

“It’s hers to give.”

“But when she shows up to me in tears because she’s made a horrible mistake and wants me to make sure he never does it again. What am I supposed to do?”

“Wait, are you distancing yourself from him so you can hurt him when the time comes.”

“When the time comes, I’m going to have to deal with him like I did with Kevin or Adam. He was my friend and not only did he betray me, not only is he going to hurt the woman I love, but he’s going to make me break him. WHAT KIND OF FRIEND MAKES YOU BREAK HIM?”

Fuck, is that why I’m so pissed?

“What did you do to Kevin and Adam?”

“I had Scott and Daniel smack Kevin around for what he did to her.”

“And Adam?”

“Let’s just say the locker search wasn’t entirely random.”

“And you?”

“I put the note in, because of the rumors he was spreading about her.”

And planted the drugs.

“What are you going to do to Scott?”

“I haven’t decided yet, I’m having trouble getting enough distance.

Can’t seem to summon the cold. It’s always been there for me ... since the closet anyway.

It also depends on how badly he hurts her, how far he goes before he does.” “Are you jealous?”

“Yes, I’m breathing as well.”

“No need to be snide.”

The CD had ended and she stood up and changed it to a collection of Sarah Vaughn and as she sat back down she asked, “Would you be upset if you had gotten the chance to ask her and she turned you down before they started dating?”

“Yes. Maybe I don’t know, I’ll never know.”

“Did you want to be her first?”

“I just want her to be happy.”

“Scott would make her happy if the two of you weren’t trying to rip each other’s throats out.”

“He’ll make her happy, until he gets what he wants or goes long enough without it.”

“How many girls have you had sex with?”

“I don’t kiss and tell. What does that matter anyway?”

“You didn’t wait for her, but on some level, you want her to wait for you.”

Oh, fuck you too.

“I didn’t choose that!”

Her faced contorted into a motherly mixture of surprise and concern, “What?”

“I didn’t choose not to wait. I would’ve waited for her. I didn’t have a choice and once it was done yeah, I decided I might as well learn to do it right and I enjoyed myself. I even hit double digits, but I’m going to be the best lover ever. No one’s going to be able to touch me. Whoever I end up with is going to be thankful for my past.”