Chapter 5

I got home and went straight to my room.

I lay on my bed, still covered in my fluids, then grabbed my pillow and screamed into it.

April knows everything.

Why? Why did it turn out like this?

I thought we got past what happened fucking years ago.

I apologized when I was 16. Did she really hold a grudge this whole time?

I loosened my hands on my pillow, but did not remove my face from it.

I was crying.

April was so cruel, and Jacob ... Why does he do this? What happened to make me deserve this?

I lay my back down on my bed.

Didn’t I help you in the past, Jacob?

Why did you become like this...

And April ... we’ve known each other for 10 years.

No, that’s not fully true, I thought to myself.

After the breakup, she did not come back to school for almost two years.

What I did was cruel, but not on the same level as this.

Or at least, I don’t think so.

I got up and walked to my bathroom.

I need a shower, I’m covered in cum.

I turned on the shower, then got in.

As I was in the shower, I thought back 10 years ago.

I was already pretty popular at the time, and was part of a soccer team.

It was the first time I played soccer on an actual team.

And I was really gifted, or at least that’s what everyone told me.

Just like college, girls would walk up to me, and hit on me.

It got kind of annoying.

I knew I looked good, was skilled at sports, and was a grade-A student.

So it made sense that I would be surrounded by girls.

However, it became too annoying.

I could not go anywhere without a girl talking to me and interrupting what I was doing.

Whether I was getting stuff out of my locker, rushing to class, or trying to go home.

There was always someone coming up to me and delaying me.

I had a crush on Destiny at that point.

But she was not in my class, so I only saw her during lunch or between classes.

Also, she was almost always surrounded by her female friends, so I could never find a time to talk to her.

She was my first crush and, years later, would eventually become my girlfriend.

One day, when I was leaving class, a girl came up to me.

She was nervous and fidgety and kept tripping over her words.

Her name was April.

But she was not the beautiful girl I know now.

Back then, she had messy hair and lots of acne.

“H-hi, Troy,” she said.

I remembered her. She was one of the girls always hanging around Destiny.

“Hey there,” I said. “What’s up?”

She seemed like she wasn’t expecting a response.

But then her face lit up.

“N-nothing much ummm.”

She looked down and continued talking.

“I-I really like you,” she said.

“Really?” I asked.

But I wasn’t really as surprised as I sounded.

“Y-yes ... I can’t stop watching you. You’re so cool and calm,” she trailed off a bit.

“And, um...” She stopped for a second.

Then she said, “W-will you please ... go on a date with me?”

I stared at her for a minute. She was still looking down.

I thought to myself.

A very cruel thought, but back then I thought it was smart.

If I got close to her, maybe I would have more chances to talk to Destiny.

And it would hopefully ward off the mass of girls who bothered me all the time.

“Ya, sure,” I said.

She looked up in surprise.

“Really?” she said. “Even though I’m me?”

I decided not to answer that. I did not really want to get pulled into the emotional life I figured she had.

“Ya, you seem nice,” I said, smiling. “Let’s have fun later, if you’re available after school.”

She lit up with a huge smile and said, “Yes, thank you.”

Then the bell rang. It was time for the next class.

We said our goodbyes and went to our next class.

We were in separate classes, so I did not see her much.

After school, we met up.

I brought her to a cafe.

Not the one I go to now, just a random cafe I saw while we walked.

We ordered some drinks and a few donuts, and she started talking.

She talked a lot. She was basically giving me a whole life’s worth of stories.

Not the coolest thing I wanted to have to listen to on a first date.

“Can you believe it?” she said happily. “I managed to get into the same school as my friends.”

I was just smiling while sipping my tea but finally decided to start talking.

“I’ve noticed you in the hallways on my way to classes. I’ve seen that you have lots of friends.”

She looked surprised.

“I’m surprised you even noticed me.” She looked down and then said, “People don’t usually even look at me.”

This conversation was not going where I wanted it to go.

“It’s hard not to notice,” I said with a laugh. “You are always with so many girls. There are like a dozen of you together at all times.”

She looked happy.

I guess she did not get talked to much, but that was probably because of her straight-up messy face.

Just then, her phone went off.

She looked at her phone, then said, “Oh crap, I forgot to tell Mom that I would be out for a while, and she’s worried about me.”

She lowered her phone and nervously asked.

“Is it okay? Can I go?”

I looked at her and smiled.

“Ya, of course. Get home. I’ll see you at school.”

She didn’t go yet. She had one more thing to ask.

“C-can we do this again?”

“Yes, of course. You’re fun to be around,” I said.

She looked so happy that I felt a bit guilty.

“Okay, I will see you tomorrow.”

She then left.

I drank the rest of my tea and got up to leave myself.

“Maybe this is fine,” I thought to myself.

For the next two weeks, she was always around me, and we talked a lot.

She always had so much to say.

And she looked so happy.

But then ... the rumors started.

“Is Troy really okay with a girl who looks like that?” whispered one.

“Maybe Troy is into those kinds of girls,” said another.

The whispering did not stop. It kept going.

And eventually I had enough.

One day, while we were walking to school together, she was happily talking to me and was all bubbly.

“And can you believe it? She went and did that,” she said.

I guess she noticed that I was not smiling.

“You okay?” she asked.

“Fine,” I said.

“You can talk to me if you want. I’m a good listener,” she said.

I looked around. There were many students around us making their way toward the school.

And I still kept hearing the whispers.

“Wow, Troy is really dating her,” said one.

“Ya, well, I guess he prefers girls like her. I wonder if he kissed her?” said another.

“Uck, if he did ... then no other girl should kiss him ... so gross,” said a girl who was nearby.

After that, I lost it.

“YOU WANT TO LISTEN TO WHAT I WANT TO SAY?” I yelled at her.

She looked shocked.

“YOU’RE A DAMN UGLY STALKER WHO DOESN’T GET IT!”

She looked at me sadly.

I noticed that there were a bunch of people listening.

I realized that if I just yelled that she was ugly like I was going to, I would look bad.

And Destiny probably would not like me.