Chapter 8

Steve’s estimate was a bit optimistic; it took weeks to prepare for the wedding. Father Ewen MacCailein came over to the address Steve gave him every Wednesday night for six weeks as they took the Pre-Cana classes. Being an Italian Catholic bride, Maria wanted to do it right, and Father Ewen agreed with her. He doesn’t like to do last-minute weddings. There are formalities that must be observed. One of the formalities in the Catholic church is the Pre-Cana Conference, a series of meetings with the priest to learn about the sacrament of marriage. When a war hero asks, former USMC chaplain Ewen MacCailein responds ASAP, but he’s unshakable on the formalities.

The wait was excruciating. Steve had moved out of his apartment and was living in the camper because they promised no premarital sex during the pre-Cana conferences. Finally, the day approached. Father Ewen and his Deacon Alfeo arrived and with him, he had all the forms that needed to be signed to make their wedding legal for the state of Florida.

“Where is my couple?” asked Father Ewen with just a hint of a Scotts accent.

“This is me,” said Steve. “My bride is still in hiding.” He was wearing the only suit he owned, his Army dress uniform. When he put it on, he was shocked. He was expecting it to be small, but it was large on him. He was bigger when he wore it last, more muscular. He’s lost body mass since then; he hasn’t lifted weights seriously since before his last deployment that ended his service.

Just then, his bride came out of the bedroom along with her home healthcare nurse, Darlene. Maria was wearing an ivory colored dressing robe that did little to hide those magnificent breasts of hers. Darlene was wearing a pale blue dress that she was still tugging into place. Steve will never remember Darlene’s dress because he only had eyes for Maria. She had threatened to put her hair up, but she knew how Steve loved her long, flowing coal black locks.

As for Maria, Steve was talking to Father Ewen, but she didn’t hear a word. She knew Steve was in the Army, but she didn’t pay too much attention. He never told her any “war stories” and she remembers him talking about OTS once, which sounded like basic training on steroids. When they talked about their past, he mostly talked about his youth in the forests and fields of the U.P. and working on the ore docks of Marquette. Now he looked like Audi Murphy, covered in ribbons and badges. She glanced again at the engagement ring he got her last week. It cost far too much, and she was sure he wiped out his savings account for it, but he answered her complaints with “you are everything to me and that ring symbolizes that sentiment even more now.”

She touched the ribbons and badges, then asked Darlene to take pictures of them together, then she whispered, “there’s a suit for you in Natalia’s bedroom.”

“You don’t like my uniform?”

“That’s a little out of date for us.”

Steve nodded and agreed with her, “but if the suit is ugly I’m going to wear this,” which made Maria laugh. This truly is the man she will spend the rest of her life with ... suddenly her heart leapt with joy at that thought.

“Honey, Father Ewen asked you a question,” Steve’s soft voice burst through her dazed mind.

“Oh! I’m sorry Father, I was ... brides nerves ... I just...”

“That’s all right, it happens to more brides than you could believe, even widows. I asked where your usual parish is and who do you feel most comfortable with for confession.”

“Sacred Heart, I see Father Sarducci.”

Father Ewen smiled. Steve had told him he was marrying a woman from New York City, her saying she went to Sacred Heart proved she was from New York, Sacred Heart attracts many replants from the Big Apple, especially the Italian American community so Father Sarducci was a good pastor for them. And Father Ewen didn’t appear to be startled at Maria’s age; she could be eighty-five, it didn’t matter because Steve clearly was madly in love with her, and both appeared to be in sound mind. “Are you ready for confession?” Maria nervously looked at Steve and Darlene, then Father Ewen said, “Darlene, could you wait outside?”

As Darlene stepped out to the patio, Maria asked, “What about Steve?” Father Ewen give Steve a scolding look and Steve shrugged and followed Darlene out to the patio. There they met Father Ewen’s Deacon Alfeo Gronchi.

“Sorry, but we’re not going to need you as a witness,” said Steve to Alfeo. “We have Darlene, and we want this tiny,”

“Any reason for that?” asked Alfeo.

Normally Steve would have bristled at a question like that and answered with an ice cold, “None of your damn business,” but it was his wedding day, and he was filled with joy. He has met the one he has been waiting for and finally, they were going to become one. “Maria and I both have family, and we will be buried under a barrage of demands that start with “Why wasn’t I invited?” so nobody is being invited. We will send out pictures and answer their questions in person.”

“Who is your photographer?”

“Darlene said she would take pictures.”

“How is she going to take pictures if she’s in the ceremony?” asked Alfeo. When Steve looked embarrassed, Alfeo said, “I’ll take pictures for you and send you both the pictures.”

“Cool, thanks!”

Finally, Father Ewen came out to the patio and said, “Steve, are you ready?”

“Let’s do it padre, where’s Maria?”

“She’s waiting in the bedroom, Darlene, could you join her? And we’ll start right after you’re finished.”

Steve followed Father Ewen into the living room, where Father Ewen sat in a chair and near him was a pillow to kneel on, the traditional Catholic posture for confession. Instead, Steve took a chair from the dining room and placed it facing Father Ewen and sat. Making the sign of the cross, Steve started, “Forgive me father for I have sinned, it has been...” Steve rolled his eyes and thought, “it’s been way too long since my last confession...”

“It’s been about eight months, my son,” said Father Ewen.

Steve rolled his eyes and thought back. “I guess you’re right. There’s been a lot of sins I missed in previous confessions, either I forgot, or most likely I was afraid to say them out loud. Just about any sin you can commit with a mouse and a keyboard I have committed ... my excuse has always been loneliness but that’s a lie too...”

“I’m not here to judge my son, that’s God’s job we’ve been through this, have we not?” Steve and Father Ewen had famous discussions on the teaching of the church compared to the teaching of the bible. “To save time, why don’t you think of me as a buddy and you’re telling me of what is on your heart, and we’ll let God deal with the sins.”

“Well, that’s how I’ve always approached confession Father. We both know that confession is about being forgiven and not about being judged. That comes later.”

“It’s also about forgiving yourself my son, that’s often the hardest part. Let’s proceed, start with what lays heaviest on your heart and we’ll go from there.”

Steve nodded and cleared his throat. “Well ... I’ve murdered several men...”

Father Ewen listened to Steve’s confession, praying that he hid his horror at the sins he heard as Steve continued. He was such a nice guy; how could someone have carried this in his heart for so long? His response was always the same as it is for so many other emotionally shattered soldiers, “it was a war my son, sometimes we are ordered to do things that go against our teaching Steven...”