Chapter 17

After cleaning up a bit, they drove up to the Fish Shack, a local restaurant that serves traditional and modern takes on seafood. Steve wasn’t sure how it got there, but he ended up with a blackened flounder filet covered with a mango/pineapple chutney. It looked like what he had left in the weeds when he threw up. The family was speaking softly about Maria and Steve could barely hear their words. He had Natalia to his left and Derick on his right and occasionally he noticed laughter, especially when someone mentioned Maria and her chickens.

The evening was revealed to Steve in pieces. He would look at his plate and he decided that his food looked strange, but when he looked at it again, some was missing. Eventually, his plate was empty, his stomach full, and he had no memory of eating. He looked up and noticed that everyone was staring at him and the last word he heard was “Guiseppi.” He realized that they were afraid to talk about Giuseppe with Steve sitting there. He cleared his throat and said, “It’s ok, Juicy was a big part of her life, and an enormous part of Natalia’s and Jeannie’s. Don’t stop on my account.”

“Who is Juicy?” asked Natalia.

“Juicy?” gasped Jeannie. “Why did you call dad Juicy?”

It appeared that Steve let slip a secret, and it also appeared that his stepdaughters were not let in on the secret by their mother, but he looked across the table to his sister-in-law Fabbi who raised her wineglass to him in a toast and winked at him as Natalia and Jeannie demanded more information. “Juicy was your mother’s nickname for your dad.”

“But where did Juicy come from?” demanded Natalia. She squeezed Steve’s hand, and, for the first time, he realized they were holding hands under the table.

“I don’t know, she mentioned something about him and drinking creamy eggs.” That did it perfectly, feigned ignorance of New York delicacies gave the sisters something to educate Steve on. Steve knew egg creams; he made Maria an egg cream at the bar in Donald Atherton’s big cabana on Nici Arcadia and she said it was perfect. Soon a dessert of Italian Ice was served, and Steve again made another intentional faux pas by calling it “Sherbert” which allowed Anna and Emma an opportunity to make fun of their new grandpa.

“You smiled,” said Natalia softly.

“So did you.”

When they stepped out into the parking lot, they discovered how late it was. “We’re not going to make it home before two,” said Derick.

“Y’all can stay with us,” said Natalia.

“Do you have room?”

“No problem,” and as Natalia laid out the sleeping arrangements, Steve was trying to understand her use of the word “us.” Once the sleeping arrangements were agreed upon and the girls began bouncing and cheering that they were going camping, Natalia mentioned the envelopes that Maria gave them, and Steve’s heart sank again. He did not know what was in the envelopes, and he’s terrified of what was in there.

Back at the campsite, Natalia and Steve worked together to convert the dinette to a bed for the girls. “No sleeping bags?” demanded Emma.

“No, we got blankets and quilts,” said Grandpa Steve. “if you want sleeping bags you will have to bring your own next time.”

“YAY!”

Steve felt even worse now. Maria was lying on a cold morgue slab and he’s camping with her grandchildren. At least she’ll be near Father Ewen. She liked him. Steve stepped out of the camper and let the Tamaro family settle down with the kids and slumped down at the picnic table, where the flickering light of the citronella candle illuminated the sad, drawn face of Natalia. “I’m sorry I freaked out on you today ... I just ... I lost two people that meant the world to me and I couldn’t handle it.”